Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to JKR.
Prologue – Christmas presents
Hermione slowly opened her eyes, her still unsteady gaze drifting towards the window. Outside it was snowing heavily, covering the grounds around Hogwarts in a thick, blinding layer of white. She groaned and sat up in her huge four poster bed she could call her own, since she had been appointed Head Girl at the start of term of her seventh year.
Christmas.
It was her first Christmas at Hogwarts that she hadn't anticipated to come. She wasn't in the mood of a cheery holiday and Jingle-Bells all around. It reminded her of her losses, making her pains and fears resurface, after she had so long worked to subdue them into the depths of her soul.
Time will heal all wounds, they said, but Hermione doubted that. Her parents had been killed in a Death Eater raid six months ago, but her pain hadn't lessened during this time. If anything, it had just grown.
But she didn't show this pain to anyone. She was the one, who had to soothe the pain of the others, who had lost their parents or families to Voldemort. It was her duty as a Head Girl. Hermione surely had known this when she had accepted the position at start of term, and she had thought, that helping other to deal with this pain would help her to deal with hers. It did, but she still had some days – like this – when she just wanted to curl in her bed and forget she existed.
Well, no such luck. She had to pull herself together and be strong, she chided herself and determinedly got up and dressed.
She put on a cheerful facade and went down the stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room, where Harry and Ron were waiting already for her. Other students, who also had chosen to stay at Hogwarts, were sitting around the room, unpacking their presents.
"Morning sleepyhead, and merry Christmas!" Ron called when he noticed her coming down the stairs. He was already sitting under the Christmas tree, a huge smile on his face.
"Merry Christmas, Hermione. I swear, I told him to wait for you, but he wouldn't listen." Harry said, pointing at Ron, who was already wearing his newest Weasley sweater, made by his mother.
"Merry Christmas!" Hermione answered, sitting down in the chair next to Harry. Merry, indeed, she thought but still put a forced smile on her lips.
Ron, already ripping up a new parcel that was labelled with his name, shot both Harry and Hermione a confused look, "Hey! It's Christmas! You do know what that means?"
"That it's snowing outside and we can't play Quidditch?" Harry tried, knowing what Ron wanted to hear, but like to tease him a little.
"That everyone has gone insane and sings cheerful Christmas carols?" Hermione chimed in.
"No!" Ron shouted, throwing them a dirty look, when Harry started to laugh and said, "Presents. It means presents. You haven't forgotten that, have you?"
The eager look on Ron's face brought the first real smile of the day on Hermione's face. Even though he was nearly seventeen, Ron hadn't lost his childish playfulness, yet. Getting up from the comfortable chair, both, she and Harry, settled down on the rug beside Ron and started unpacking gifts.
From the two boys Hermione had got a new book about healing potions and some sweets, from Mrs. Weasley the famous Weasley sweater and from Ginny, who had went home to the Burrow during the holidays, a charmed bracelet that would always show her current mood by glowing in different colours.
She decided she wouldn't wear it right now, even though her mood had considerably brightened since she had gotten up. But she still didn't want Harry and Ron to worry about her and the sadness she felt.
Starting to read in her new potions book, she again settled down in the chair she had previously sat in, when Harry suddenly said, "Hermione, there is still another gift for you."
Startled she looked up at Harry, who held a small package out to her. Wondering who else would have sent a gift for her, she unpacked it, retrieving a small diary, bound in green leather. When she opened the first page, a small note fell into her lap.
It doesn't do any good to bottle up feelings.
That was all. Hermione turned the small piece of parchment in her hands but didn't find any clue as to who had sent her the diary.
"Who sent you this?" Ron asked.
"I don't know." Hermione answered. Thank you to whoever sent me this, though, she thought.
"Let's go down to the Great Hall." Harry said. "I swear I'm going to die, if I'm not able to eat anything in the next five minutes." Ron nodded in agreement and both boys headed straight towards the portrait of the Fat Lady.
Hermione remained sitting in her chair, though, still studying her new diary.
"I'll be meeting you in the Great Hall. I still need a few moments..." she called after Harry and Ron. The boys nodded and exited though the portrait, throwing each other a knowing look. Contrary to Hermione's belief, they knew about her sadness and especially Harry could relate to it. Nevertheless they wanted to see Hermione happy again, something they knew she hadn't been in a long time.
Hermione let her fingers trail down the spine of the green booklet. She had never had a diary in her life. She had always thought, that it would be pointless to write one, if her time could be used for more interesting activities, like reading or learning, but now, as she held it in her hands, she thought, that maybe it wasn't too bad an idea. Maybe the note was right after all. Maybe she would feel better once she had written everything down.
Putting her presents inside her chambers, she went down to the Great Hall, vowing to herself, that she would make good use of her new diary.
Severus Snape hated Christmas as a rule. He hated the cheerful carols, the red and green decorations and most of all he hated his loneliness. He hated the fact, that everyone around him seemed to be happy, but he had to face fear and terror every time Voldemort decided he needed information about Hogwarts.
Dressing himself in his custom black robes, Snape snorted.
You should have gotten used to that a long time ago, he sneered at himself. And it's not as if you hadn't chosen this life, yourself.
This year, again, his chambers were decorated in red and green, he realized when he stepped into his living room. Hadn't he made himself clear, when he had requested no Christmas decorations this year? Rolling his eyes at a "Silent Night" singing, smiling, red banner, he cast a silencing spell at it, and with another flick of his wand the Christmas decorations had turned from red and green to a slightly darker green and silver. If he had to look at this useless stuff for a week it should at least look like the rest of his room.
Sitting down in his favourite green chair in front of the fireplace, he noticed a small parcel lying on the table next to his chair. Curiously he took it and examined the wrapping. Who would send him a Christmas present? Dumbledore. But usually the old Headmaster gave out his presents at breakfast. So, who could have sent this one?
He opened it and held a small red booklet in his hands. A diary? he mused and opening the cover he found a small piece of parchment lying on the first page. He picked it up and read the short note.
Sometimes one can find understanding by listening to others.
Snape snorted and threw the note into the fireplace. Why should he listen to others, if no one was willing to listen to him? Whoever had sent this didn't know what it was like to be him.
Putting up his usual, surly face, he got up and went in the direction of the Great Hall. When he entered through the door behind the staff table he vowed to himself, that he would at least deduct 50 points from Gryffindor that day. This would surely improve his mood.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled more than usually as he saw Severus Snape entering the Great Hall for breakfast, wearing his most frightening scowl. So his package had been found. And also Miss Granger seemed to have received his present, as she was sitting at the Gryffindor table, deep in thought.
He admitted, that his newest plan was a bit risky, charming the two diaries and giving them to Hermione and Severus, but maybe everything would turn out alright. It always did in the end.
