AN: This chapter is dedicated to my friend Nat dude and the whole crew of Jackass!
This story is pretty much an inside joke with my friend Nat dude. There may be things many wont get or find funny. But my friend and I share the same sense of whacked humor and we are both obsessed with jackass.
The dudes of jackass and the two chicks they had picked up from the beach the previous day were sitting around at poor Mrs. Margera's house thinking about what to do. Music was blaring away. The song was so-phisicated bitch. Once song was over Bam says
"Party Boy I'm sorry, but your mum just nailed by a car" everyone burst out laughing.
"Hey that's My line!" Nat exclaimed, lightly going to hit Bam's chest. He grabbed her hand mid slap though, catching her by surprise. She blushed and went to pull her hand away but Bam wouldn't let her.
"Dude, I have the gnarlest idea" Steve-o said coolly "lets find a bunch of stairs and race down them in sleeping bags and then when that is boring race down them in golf buggies."
"Sounds good!" squealed Nat as her and Bam through her laughing as they were both tickling each other all over.
They went there in Preston's everyone in the back. Once they arrived they saw they were not alone. They had picked a spot with over 1000 stairs. It was out the front of some courthouse. They were accompanied with 10 pro skaters that were having a photo shoot.
"Dude! I should have brought my board." Bam cried
"Here I brought it for ya" Nat said handing him the board.
"Thanks dude, I will have to pay you back later" Nat blushed and shrugged as Bam said this.
As one of the pro skater 50-50 the rail all the way down Johnny Knoxville commented
"One thing I know is good ways of grinding rails. I think I should show them how it is done" Everyone laughed as he walked over to the truck and put on his 90 year old out fit. He grabbed Party Boy's board and started running up the 1000 stairs to the top. Once he was at the top. A person who had seen him run up said "I have never thought that an old man could run like that" Everyone cracked up and watched Johnny skate then jump on to the rail. Everyone was surprised that he made it as far as he did. He made it all the way until the last 100 stairs. He stacked it and hit the stairs rolling all the way down to the footpath where everyone was watching. Luckily Ehren had been filming the whole thing.
"We have to use that in Jackass the movie 2"
"Yeah dudes come on let's run to the top and slide down before these pro skaters steal the show," said Ryan throwing everyone a sleeping bag. "Dudes we are one bag short someone will have to share,"
"I don't mind sharing" Bam and Nat said automatically.
"Find then you to can share and here, Preston here is the extra large sleeping bag you asked for"
"Thanks for saying it so loud" Preston replied. Everyone laughed. Ryan threw Bam a bag with the marking XS on it. Neither Bam nor Nat saw the marking however.
Once they were all at the top they realised that the pro skaters were all there too. Everyone got into bags and Bam and Nat were indeed very squished, their bag being extra small and all.
"Just lie on top Bam" Shorty yelled from in her bag. Suddenly there was a sound that sounded like someone was about to sneeze. Shorty quickly got her camera out of now where and waited for the sneeze to come out. Being as skillful as she was, Shorty got the photo she was waiting for. She got the shot at the very point of when the sneeze was just about to come out.
"Awesome!" she exclaimed and put away the camera. As she put it away a girl who was very cuddies came out and started going on about how angry she was at everyone.
"Oh no, here we go again" Nat said rolling her eyes. Nat got out of the sleeping bag and walked over to the girl.
"Hey girl that is always cuddies, I'm sorry but your cat just got fried." Everyone but the girl that was always cuddies started laughing. The girl that was always cuddies shut up and walked away looking depressed.
"Well that's a problem solved" Nat said looking proud of herself.
"I think that chick needs some wasabi snooters" Steve-o commented
"Ok are we ready?" asked Johnny Knoxville getting in the passenger side of the golf buggie. Dunn was driving.
"Yeah ok lets go" Said Nat getting practically on top of Bam. Bam didn't look disappointed.
A minute later they were going down the stairs at a rapid pace. There seemed to be a lot of giggling coming from the sleeping bag that Nat and Bam were in. Suddenly the pro skaters started coming and started doing tricks.
"They aren't going to steal the show that easily" muttered Johnny Knoxville and looked the glove compartment of the golf buggy he was in. He got out a bundle of rockets and threw some to everyone. He didn't give any to Bam and Nat cause he couldn't even see them, they were in the middle of their bag moving around a awful lot. Everyone attached their rockets to the end of their sleeping bags and Johnny put his on the back of the golf buggy and they all lit them. Once the rockets had set off, all the sleeping bags sped down the stairs and even a faster pace, with fire works coming out the back of them. Johnny Knoxville looked over to the rail that he had previously 50-50. One skater dude was good a really good job of grinding the rail.
"I did it so much better" Johnny Knoxville commented.
Once everyone was down the bottom of the stairs, there was a loud screeching noise coming from the nearby road. It turned out to be a cat that had just got nailed by a car. Everyone laughed and got out of their sleeping bags. There was lots of movement and giggling coming from the Nat and Bam sleeping bag. All of a sudden their was a loud scream followed by Nat racing out of the sleeping bag and running into the back of the truck, looking absolutely horrified. Moments later Bam came out zipping up his pants.
"I don't know what happened, we were having heaps of fun then she looked at my socks then got totally bummed out." Said a confused Bam. Shorty looked down to see what was wrong with Bam's socks.
"Oh I see the problem" Shorty said then continued "your socks are adidas. Nat is a Nike chick and hates adidas. She wants to nail the guys that invented adidas's cat."
"Wow she must really hates adidas then" Bam muttered.
"I'll go talk to her" Shorty muttered and walked over to the back of the truck where she saw Nat pale as a post.
"He wears adidas," Nat whispered, clearly upset.
"Dude really, I know it's a big deal but..." Nat dude cut off shorty.
"I slept with a guy who wears adidas. I will never forgive myself." She said looking down.
"Dude come on. This is Bam we are talking about. Are you saying you wish you hadn't slept with Bam? Cause if you are then you are a pussy." Shorty said. Nat was quiet, Shorty continued "And dude look at him, he is so hot!" Shorty exclaimed.
"I know, and I am glad I had that great time with him and all but..." Nat was distracted by the look on Shorty's face. Shorty was looking in the corner of the truck. She looked absolutely petrified.
"Dude, what is it?" Nat asked worried about the look on Shorty's face. Shorty pointed to the corner and tried to speak, but no words came out. Nat slowly looked where Shorty was looking and screamed. There in the corner of the truck was a big fat ugly leech. Shorty followed suit and started screaming too. They got and ran out of the truck as fast as they could.
Once they were out of the truck they had run start over to the group. They stopped running and stood still trying to gain their breath, as they had been running very fast.
"Dude, are you alright? Gee not even Preston huffs that much after he done one sit up" commented Steve-o.
"There...was...a...leech" Shorty managed to say between her heavy breathing. Everyone's eyes widened, as the world was afraid of leeches, as they are the most fierce and terrifying creatures alive. Though one dude would object and say moths were the scariest.
"I think we should blow up the truck. God I don't want to go back in the truck if a leech has been in there." Party Boy said.
"I second that motion" Nat agreed. Everyone walked over to the box of explosives and grabbed as many as they could hold. One at a time they lit the rockets and threw them into the back of the truck. Soon enough about a hundred rockets were in the back of the truck and slowly detonating. It a few moments the truck was up in flames. Explosions were going of left, right and center. Everyone cheered as the last explosion went off.
"I resent the fact that, that was my truck that just exploded" Preston commented.
"I am bored," Shorty said.
"Yeah lets all go back to my crib" Bam said picking up his skateboard.
THE END OF CHAPTER TWO.
A/N again the whole story is an inside joke so don't feel confused. Review if you want. Tell me what you think. I don't mind if you hate the story. I know that there is one person out there that likes it. That's good enough for me!
