Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Fruits Basket or anything pertaining to the manga or anime. The characters, places, etc... are not mine, nor do I lay any claim on them. This is not an attempt to infringe on any rights or copyrights, as this is purely for entertainment.
Authors Note: This is the fourth chapter. Obviously. Once again, please inform me of any mistakes! I have no beta, as I edit my own garbage, so I appreciate any help one can give me. I don't fear criticism, nor do I take it personally, even when someone is being personal. I'm afraid I'm a far more cruel critic of my own work than anyone else could be. Also, I span the story's timeline, skipping over miniscule details and slowly growing familiarity between characters, a little too blatantly, I'm afraid. I usually enjoy the little things, the day-to-day confrontation and the shyness and uncomfortable moments characters share. However, I seem to be leaving quite a bit of that out. Oh well, it reduces the chance for 'wind'. Grin Also, as I have not yet written a single word of this chapter while I write this note, please forgive me if it comes out rather 'blah'... I have no ideas for this piece yet. I figure I'll just start writing.
Title: 'Autumn'
Author: Evie Gunn
Rating: R rated for language and adult/sexual situations
Series: Fruits Basket
Pairings: Haru x Kyou
Genre: ?
Archive: If you like... just tell me where. I'm inclined to be a pessimist, so I doubt anyone would want to, but hey...
...
Autumn
Chapter 4: Skinning the Cat
I dreamed of him. Perhaps it was because of the season. Autumn seemed to recall so much emotion, so many memories, driving me into a nostalgia for the closeness I'd been bereft of for so long. Though, I'll admit, the simple friendship of childhood no longer appealed to me. It was not enough, not as consuming as I desired presently. And now, I had hope. An ugly little word, for an even uglier sense. Hope always taunted one into some fantasy before peeling back its mask and revealing it's true face. A laughing little goblin named regret. It had other names too; pain, disillusionment, disappointment... reality. Yet, I couldn't help but hope. I couldn't help but see that glittering little fluff of potential happiness; couldn't help but hold onto it and squeeze it like a child embraces a favorite toy. I could hear that past echo of hurt in its giggle, but there was always that chance. And I could never allow a chance to slip past unchallenged.
I threw my arm over my eyes, hiding the crumbling canopy from my sight. Light washed in through my window to slice brilliant lines across my face and chest, peeking in brightly from the blinds. I could still feel the dream warming me, despite the chill that had settled in on my bare skin. Throwing the covers off my warm body, I sat up to rub the sleep from my face. I remembered why I hate sleep. My back hurt from the lack of movement; my head ached, still groggy with sleep and the remnants of dream. I sighed to myself as I ran my hands through my hair, and tried to figure what time it was. My clocks vivid red numbers flashed midnight, and I rolled my eyes, agitated. I wondered if the power had gone out in the night, resetting my clock to the infinite moment of the 'witching hour'.
I dressed quickly, and began a pointless wandering of Sohma Estate, following the stone paths that wove their way across the grounds. The air was growing more chilly each passing day, the light of the sun dimming in preparation for a quieter season of cold and hibernation. The trees near the gate were stripping themselves bare of leaves, and I stared at the twisted branches as they clawed against the pale sky. I wondered what exactly they were reaching for. Perhaps they were trying in vain to pull the sun closer, grappling for the warmth of the past. I suppose, metaphorically, I was trying to do the same thing. Each day I found myself confronting my fiery cousin in an attempt to pull him closer, trying to glean some sort of warm comfort from him. If he was fall, I was winter. He held that last remaining warmth of the sun and those passionate colors of autumn, while I was the chilly bare winter, pale and quiet and reaching out toward the past.
Over the past two weeks, I'd spent nearly every day with Kyou. He'd grudgingly grown comfortable with my presence. We'd had few conversations, and yet, it felt as if I'd asked a thousand questions, and his voice had filled me with a thousand answers. I couldn't help but enjoy even the insults that fell from his lips. I enjoyed them, because, they were for me. Twice, we'd fought some pathetic battle of wills, him having drawn out my demon to contest with. I think, perhaps, even 'he' felt the tentative stability of the thin threads that connected Kyou and I, biting back, holding 'his' tongue and refusing to damage the camaraderie between us. I could feel, even now, my demons desire to release some of that pent up regret. That part of me had never betrayed Kyou and 'he' wanted to tell him. It would be too much, too soon though. 'Black' Haru was too loose with his words, and his aggression, his candor could be damaging. It was odd to think of my 'black' personality that way, a 'he', a 'him'... a separate part; but I couldn't help it.
I slipped past the gate and began my confusing trek towards Shigure's. I had come to be expected at the dog's house, a regular part of their daily life, less of a guest, and more of an addition to their small and separate family unit. My boots clicked on the pavement with each step and I glanced down to watch my feet. The dark asphalt seemed to rush backward beneath me and I smiled to myself at the simplicity that had momentarily fascinated me. A dazed mind's interest in the mundane. When I looked up again, I realized that I recognized the area, and glancing to the left, I saw that barely noticeable opening to Kyou's path in the woods. I frowned, wondering how I could so easily remember such an obscure thing, before shrugging to myself and crossing the street. The path was cluttered, and leaves littered the ground more thickly, but the trail was still noticeable. I decided to follow it to Shigure's, hoping again, that I did not lose my way.
The shade of the trees made the forest cooler, but it was a comforting cold, and I enjoyed the crisp freshness and the earthy smell that attacked me as I made my way through the woods. The rhythm of my steps was accompanied by the percussion of dry flora crunching beneath my boots, and soon I lost myself in the sounds. The chirping vocals of birds, and the flooding whine of insects was a pleasant distraction as I wandered, and I easily lost track of time once again. It felt like only moments had gone by when I came to the edge of the woods, my eyes catching on red-gold hair and tanned skin. Kyou was exercising in the back yard, each familiar move performed expertly as the cat's martial arts training came into play. I stopped my progress and watched him for a minute, unthinking. My eyes were somewhat enchanted by his movement, unable to look away. I leaned to the side, resting my shoulder against the rough bark of a tree, and waited, wondering if his keen senses would catch me anytime soon.
"Hatsuharu!" I heard my name shouted, the happy lilt revealing it to be Shigure's voice. I watched as Kyou spun in the direction of the voice, nearly as confused and shocked as I was. Shigure padded out of the open door of his study, arms thrown wide as his face beamed a smile in my direction. I frowned at him.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyou's exasperated voiced didn't faze the older man.
"Ha-ru, you shouldn't spy on Kyou from the woods. I know much better place to do that." Shigure's happy announcement made me uncomfortable, and yet, strangely curious.
"Stupid pervert!" Kyou shouted angrily, spinning in my direction at last to glare at me. "And you!" He pointed at me. "What the hell are you doing?" I shrugged and crossed the yard, nodding my greetings to both Kyou and Shigure.
"Ha-ru, have you finished my book yet?" Shigure asked, trying to appear nonchalant. I shook my head, and Shigure's smile faded. I hadn't read anymore than I had that night weeks ago, and wondered idly what exactly was so special about that book that he made such a big deal over it. "Ah, well..."
"I'm sorry, Shigure." I offered. "I'll read it tonight." The dog's face brightened and he clapped before spinning away and disappearing into his study. I was left alone with Kyou in the back yard. I shook my head at Shigure's strangeness.
"What are you doing here?" Kyou walked over to the porch and took a seat, snatching up a towel to wipe away the sweat that beaded on his face and neck. I followed him and took a seat next to him. "Don't sit so close!" Kyou spat, scooting away from me. I chuckled at him.
"I come over every day, Kyou." I offered.
"I know that! But why?" Kyou rolled his eyes at me and tossed the towel away.
"I don't know." I smiled. "I like being with you." He narrowed his eyes at me and snorted.
"Stupid cow." Kyou pushed his hair back, running his fingers through the sweaty strands in an attempt to prevent it from hanging into his eyes. It fell back into place and he attempted to blow it out of the way in agitation. The gesture was oddly attractive, and I smiled at him. "It's too early in the day to have to deal with you." He didn't look at me as he commented.
"Is that so?" Despite it all, Kyou seemed to be in a good mood. I wondered briefly why that was, but decided it didn't matter.
"You make me tired." Kyou sighed and lay back on the porch, closing his eyes.
"You know..." I glanced out at the yard. "I had a dream about you." I mentioned it absently, figuring he wasn't paying much attention. For a long while, that seemed to be the case. Kyou lay there silently, and I thought perhaps he was taking a 'cat nap'.
"Yeah, so what?" His voice was sleepy and agitated. I turned to look at him and raised one eyebrow. Was that some semblance of interest I heard, or was it my imagination?
"Yes." I frowned.
"Well, what was it about?" He snapped, throwing his arm over his eyes.
"Ah, I don't exactly remember." I lied. I remembered the dream vividly, but I was sure he wouldn't want to hear it.
"Then what was the point of mentioning it, you idiot?" Kyou sat up and glared at me. "I'm going inside to change." He plucked at the front of his sweaty shirt and stood up. I nodded at him, leaned my shoulder against the porch beam and turned my eyes back to the yard.
Kyou's footsteps faded and the sound of rustling leaves, stirred by the sudden breeze, filled the quiet of the late morning. I watched as the grass bowed to the wind and the dry brush tumbled in colorful patterns across the ground; my thoughts turned inward. I could still remember the way Kyou's skin had felt, how warm and smooth it had been beneath my fingers. I could still taste his breath, a lingering sweetness that reminded me of sugared tea. His lips had been soft, giving under the pressure of my own, and his growl low, uncomfortable. My shoulders ached suddenly, mocking the soft pain Kyou's fingers had left in the dream as he gripped my upper arms, pulling and pushing at the same time. My breath hitched at the memory, a fantasy I wish was truth, instead of a lingering subconscious cry for the feel of Kyou. I laughed to myself how out of character my dream had seemed, how sickeningly romantic it had been. Unrealistic. I shrugged to myself, drawing myself back to reality.
I lay back on the porch, the wood pressing uncomfortably against my shoulder blades. I could hear footsteps on the stairs inside the house, and the faint sounds of Shigure mumbling to himself drifting out from the open door of his study. I closed my eyes and waited, hoping Kyou would return soon. I smiled to myself, my tongue passing over my dry lips to moisten them, as I thought of forcing that dream into reality. I imagined the shocked look on Kyou's face should I put into action my desire to taste him. I laughed to myself as I thought of the pain that would follow, his fist would no doubt find my body softly receiving the blow, before his curses punctuated his despise and he fled the scene. I frowned. I didn't want him to run from me.
"Are you asleep or something?" Kyou's voice startled me, but I didn't move. I heard him sigh before he took a seat on the porch next to me. "What's the point of visiting someone if you're just going to fall asleep on the fucking porch?" He was grumbling to himself. I wanted to smile. It seemed as if, perhaps, he was disappointed that I was not 'awake' to spend time with him. I waited.
"You look even stupider when your asleep, you know?" He was talking to me, but not to me. "Well, not that stupid..." He grudgingly admitted. "Why am I talking to you, anyway? You're asleep. Stupid cow." He sighed. I again had to fight the urge to smile.
I was surprised when I felt his hand push against my arm. I wondered if he was trying to wake me. I decided to 'play dead', so to speak. A moment later, his hand shoved me again. He mumbled something I didn't quite hear and I heard the sound of cloth sliding over wood. He was moving closer to me. My heart sped up and I hoped it wasn't something he would notice. After a pause, he scooted even closer and I could faintly feel the warmth radiating from him. Kyou called my name softly. I didn't respond. After what felt like forever, he again called my name, louder, and I realized his voice was closer to me. I desperately wanted to open my eyes and look at him, see what he was doing, trace the expression on his face, but I fought the urge, curious as to what his next move would be.
Time passed and I felt myself truly drifting toward sleep. Kyou had simply sat quietly next to me, and I imagined him contemplating his own actions. I prayed silently that the situation would reveal itself to be something more than idle curiosity or boredom. I prayed that this was a good sign, that Kyou had some sort of feelings akin to mine. My back was starting to ache, my bones sore from pressing into the hard porch, and I was nearly ready to give up the game and return to the 'waking' world when I felt Kyou's fingers gently touch my hair. My breath hitched suddenly, and I battled to control it. I concentrated on breathing slowly, normally, as if in sleep, but my mind was racing. His fingers left my hair and I nearly sighed. Seconds later, his fingers returned, again tenderly stroking my messy hair. Slowly, he grew bolder and I felt him twisting the strands about his fingers, testing the texture.
"It's soft." I heard him whisper. I supposed he imagined my hair to be wiry or stiff like a cows fur. He ran his fingers through my hair once more, his nails gently drawing over my scalp, and I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped my lips. He jerked his hand away and cursed. I lay there quietly. "Stupid cow." He growled the words. I had startled him.
"It feels good. Do it more, eh?" I mumbled sleepily. I heard him scoot away from me and I cracked open an eye, turning towards him. His face was flushed red and he looked both angry and embarrassed.
"Wha... What are you talking about?" He stuttered as he spoke, words rude and angry. I stretched my arms out above my head, arching my back against the porch. He watched me rather intently.
"When did you get back?" I asked, smiling at him as I lay there. I figured I'd give him a cover for his embarrassment.
"Just now!" He barked. "I was just about to kick you for falling asleep." I didn't mention that he was sitting and it would be odd to kick me from that position.
"Ahh. I dreamed you were petting my hair." I smiled at him and linked my fingers over my chest. I watched his face as he blushed again.
"That's disgusting. Why would I want to touch your greasy hair?" He asked, twisting his face into denial. I laughed at him and reached up to run my fingers through my hair.
"It's not greasy." I frowned, crossing my eyes and looking up toward my brow.
"Why would I care?" I turned in time to see him cross his arms over his chest. He was still answering with anger, ineffectively covering his emotions in a cloud of abrasiveness.
"Go for a walk with me?" I asked the question as I sat up.
"Go for a walk by yourself." Kyou huffed. I let out a small puff of laughter and his eyes snapped to mine, narrowing with agitation.
"I'll get lost if I go by myself." I explained.
"You didn't get lost coming here!" He looked mildly amazed by that fact even as he used it as an excuse to refrain from accompanying me.
"True. But I'm unsure I can manage that again." I shrugged and hopped down from the porch. I yawned and stretched again, sighing in pleasure when my back popped loudly. I looked back over my shoulder at him and gave him a crooked smile. "Well, I suppose it can be another learning experience for me..." I turned away from him and began walking.
"Fine!" Kyou gave in. I grinned to myself. I knew I was wearing him down, rubbing some of the rough spots away. Only a short time ago he would have allowed me to get lost by myself.
"Thanks." I offered, hiding away my smile as he appeared at my side.
"I'm not going because I want to." I doubted that it was the whole truth, but didn't voice it.
"Through the woods?" I asked.
"Whatever. Why should I care? Go where you want." He tried to sound bored. I had the feeling he was attempting to curb the rudeness.
We slipped into the woods at the back of the yard, following that same trail that had led me to Shigure's twice already. The path was almost too narrow for two people to walk side by side, but Kyou wouldn't allow me to lead, instead squeezing in beside me. I smiled to myself; enjoying each time his shoulder brushed mine. The walk was slow and uneventful, aside from Kyou's grumbling disapproval as branches snagged his arm and shirt as we followed the path deeper into the woods. A particularly narrow stretch of the path forced Kyou to move ahead of me, and I watched him in amusement as he squeezed his way through the underbrush.
"Aww, Fuck!" Kyou's shout drew my attention as I followed him through the tight spot. He jerked himself through the to the clearing on the other side and stopped.
"What happened?" I asked him, stepping into the clearing beyond the tangle of branches.
"This!" He spat angrily, pulling on his shirt. A thick vine of thorny bramble had attached itself to Kyou's shirt near the collar, wrapping itself over his shoulder. It was digging itself into his skin as he pulled on it, the thorns drawing blood. The other end of the long bramble was loosely twisted into the hair that hung at the back of his neck, and his tugging was only making it worse. "God damnit!" He cursed and pulled at it again.
"Here, stop. Let me help." I offered. He glowered at me, batting my hands away as I reached for him.
"I don't need any help from a stupid cow." He growled, trying vainly to pull the briar away.
"Looks to me like you do." I frowned at him. His attempts were only tearing his skin and causing him to curse.
"No, I don't!" Kyou snorted. I watched as he tried to pull his shirt off. He tugged the cloth over his head, successfully tangling the briar in his hair. I laughed as the shirt hung in front of his face, held fast by the thorns tangled in both it and his hair. He pulled on the shirt. "Ow! Fuck!" He shouted.
"Are you sure you don't need help?" I grinned at him. Kyou stomped his foot and cursed, ready to deny his need for help when he pulled on it again. His shoulders slumped and he let go of the shirt, allowing his hands to fall at his sides.
"Get this thing loose!" He demanded. I moved closer to him and reached for the bramble that was tangled in his hair. It was stuck rather soundly, so I decided to untangle it from his shirt first. I pried the cloth away from the clawed thorns, piece by piece, until I freed the shirt. I caught it before it fell and threw it over my shoulder. Kyou glowered at me.
"Almost done." I inclined my head at him and reached for his hair. Kyou folded his arms over his chest, rubbing his hands over his arms to ward of the chill. I smiled absently at him.
"Just hurry up!" He demanded, sighing in agitation. I fought with the thorny vine, unable to reach it properly from that angle.
"Look down some." I put my hands on either side of his head and urged him to look down. The briar was tangled in the top of his hair and, as I was not much taller than him, I couldn't quite see it well enough to untangle it. I leaned closer, my face near his, and squinted at the mess.
"Stop breathing in my ear." His voice was almost whiney. I snorted. As the blast of breath hit Kyou's ear, he shivered. My heart sped up at the realization, and in my momentary distraction, a thorn bit into my finger.
"Damnit." I hissed, pushing my bleeding finger into my mouth. I backed up and looked around. "We're going to have to sit down. I can't get it free from this angle." Kyou was frowning, but nodded his understanding. I noticed a fallen log on the edge of the trail and wandered over, taking a seat. "Here, sit down on the ground in front of me." I spread my knees to make room for him and pointed to the ground.
"No way! There's no way I'm sitting there!" His face flushed and he crossed his arms stubbornly, shaking his head.
"Huh? What's wrong with it? It gives me the perfect angle to see the vine and get it free." I looked down at the space between my legs and frowned. Then it dawned on me how intimate the position was. I smiled up at him. "Come on Kyou. You want to walk around with that tangled in your hair all day?" I motioned to the briar twisted in his red-gold locks. He glared at me.
Kyou tugged again at the bramble, his face scrunching in pain as it pulled his hair and dug into his scalp. After a few more tries he sighed and turned to glare at me again. He narrowed his eyes at me and walked over to where I was pointing, taking a seat between my knees. He kept as much distance between us as possible, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. I reached out to his head and tilted it back, inspecting the tangle. As I tilted his head further, I forced him to lean back; much farther than he could poise without compensation. Kyou threw his arms out, catching himself as he lost his balance.
"Hey!" He shouted, pulling himself free of my grasp. Kyou turned to glower at me for a moment before scooting back closer to me. I once again took his head in my hands and leaned it back.
"That's a little better, but it would help if you were closer to me." I explained. He refused to budge, again folding his arms over his stomach, his back bowed to me. His spine showed through his skin, creating a path from the back of his neck down to disappear into the waist of his pants. I noticed how his ribs poked out and absently counted them with my eyes. "If you won't back up anymore, be prepared to balance yourself." I said, tilting his head further and pulling him toward me gently.
"Damnit." Kyou grumbled, and threw his arms up again. He rested his elbows on my knees, his hands dangling out to either side of us, and tried to relax, allowing me to force him to lean back.
"It's stuck pretty badly." I observed quietly. He grunted and closed his eyes as I began untangling the briar gently. I pulled on the vine and loosed the hair from each barbed thorn. I was deliberately working as slowly as possible, enjoying the feel of Kyou's hair, the warmth of his arms pressed on my legs.
"Aren't you done yet?" Kyou's voice was almost lazy. I smiled at the thought of him enjoying my ministrations. He scooted back almost unconsciously, draping his arms more casually over my legs, propping himself up using both his upper arms and his wrists, his hands facing inward toward his body. I drew my knees closer to his body, closing in on him. He didn't notice.
"It's half free now." I explained, snapping off the part of the vine I had loosed from his locks.
The rest of the vine seemed less inclined to hold onto his hair so viciously and began to come away more easily. I worked slowly, still attempting to prolong the situation. Kyou sighed as I twisted his hair in my fingers and his face relaxed. I looked down on him from above, imagining what it would be like to kiss him from the odd angle. Chuckling silently, I shook my head and banished the thought. The vine came free and I tossed it away. My hands, however, remained in his hair as if they were still working. I pulled my fingers through his locks, releasing the knots the briars had created. Eventually, his hair was smooth and free of tangles, my fingers effortlessly slipping through his hair without snagging. Kyou's breath had slowed and a slight smile rested on his lips. I brushed his hair again, my nails gliding over his scalp.
"I'm finished." My voice was quiet. I continued to pet his hair.
"Already?" His question was somewhat breathy and I raised my eyebrows. I pulled his hair back away from his forehead, allowing it to slip through my grasp and fall back into place. Kyou sighed almost silently and leaned back slightly. I wondered if the cat in him had forced him to submit to the attention.
"Kyou?" I called his name in question. I didn't want to break contact with him, but knew it was inevitable.
"Hmm?" His voice drifted out almost like a purr. I pulled his bangs away again, repeating my earlier action. He was enjoying it. I smiled.
"Kyou, did you hear me?" I stroked his hair again. "I'm finished. The briar is gone." His eyes shot open as I ran my fingers through his hair again. He sat up quickly, pushing himself away from me. His face darkened in a blush as he turned to look at me.
"Stupid cow. I thought you'd never finish!" He turned away from me to stare at the forest. "How long does it take to untangle a damn vine anyway?" I grinned at him.
"Not long, really. But you seemed to be enjoying my fingers in your hair, so..." I shrugged, letting my voice drift off. His head spun and he shot me a scowl.
"You mean you just sat there and fucking played with my hair the whole time?" He asked, indignant.
"Not the whole time." I placed my hands to either side of me and gripped the log. "Just the past five minutes or so." I looked down at the ground between my legs before stretching them out before me. I leaned back slightly and looked up at Kyou. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"You had this all planned, you pervert." I frowned at him. He didn't exactly sound offended.
"Yes, Kyou. I planned it all." I rolled my eyes and stared seriously at my cousin. "On my way to Shigure's, I stopped and asked that briar, to tangle, specifically, into your hair, should we pass. It was a great detailed plan to get you to take off your shirt and sit between my legs so I could play in your hair." I waved my hand dramatically. "Only, you found me out! Now that you know, there's no hope to execute the rest, in which I planned to..." He interrupted me.
"Idiot!" He shouted it at me. "That's not what I meant, you pervert!" I laughed at him and he spun around, turning his back to me. I sat forward and pulled his shirt from over my shoulder, draping it over my hands. I thought of hiding it somewhere. I was rather enjoying staring at a shirtless Kyou, but it was a bit chilly out, and I didn't want him to catch cold.
"Are you just going to stand there, angrily ignoring me?" Kyou snorted and turned around to stare at me.
"Give me my shirt, you asshole!" He demanded, his hand reaching out, palm open, expecting me to bring it to him. I narrowed my eyes. I could feel myself slipping, darkness dizzying me. My heart sped up. It was such a smooth transition, so easy. So unlike the crackling, anger fueled bursts that set me free most other times. I chuckled quietly to myself.
"What if I say no?" I asked. His eyes widened and I smirked at him.
"Give it back, Haru." He stepped closer to me, hand still outstretched.
"No. I like you without a shirt." I smiled crookedly at him, tilting my head. I ran my eyes over his chest. He blushed again. I rather enjoyed all the blushing Kyou was doing lately and said as much. "Shyness suits you. It's rather sexy." His breath hitched and his blush deepened.
"Wha... You... Stop looking at me!" Kyou stuttered bashfully, embarrassment staining his voice in the absence of anger.
"I can't help it. There isn't much else to look at, and besides, even if there were, I'd rather look at you, anyway." I licked my lips slowly, making sure he was watching me.
"Sh... Shirt!" Kyou demanded, unable to form a complete sentence in his discomfiture. I smiled lewdly, baring my teeth, and stood, stepping closer to him. I traced his figure with my eyes.
"Don't I even get a thank you for getting that briar out of your hair?" I shrugged as I handed Kyou his shirt. He held the shirt loosely, staring at the ground.
"Thank you." His voice was low. I smiled at him and reached to tilt his head up to face me. His eyes were dark, his pupils dilated. He was pliable and submissive, exactly how I wanted him.
"Your welcome, kitten." I winked at him. He sucked in his breath, but said nothing. "So shy." I hissed.
I drew my free hand up to his side, my fingers gliding over his ribs as my hand traveled upward. When I reached his collar, I slid my hand over his shoulder and to the back of his neck, slipping my fingers into his red-gold locks. His skin was warm beneath his hair, and my cold fingers pressed gently against his scalp. He trembled and I watched as chill bumps raced over his skin. He was biting his lip, eyes closed. The shirt fell from his loose grasp to join the leaves on the forest floor. I looked down to his hands, they were fisted. I let go of his chin and gripped his hair with the hand tangled in his locks, pulling his head back gently. My free hand slipped lazily down his arm and, once again, he shivered. I raised an eyebrow and wrapped my hand about his wrist, drawing his hand up to my waist. His fingers spread, unclenching to flatten against my side. I felt his other hand move to rest at my other hip and smirked. The kitten was enjoying this.
"That's right, kitten. Give in. You know you want to." Kyou squeezed his eyes tight. He was trying to deny it, I knew. I released his wrist and returned my hand to his face, my palm pressing to his cheek, and stroked his ear with my fingers. I leaned my face closer to him, mingling our breath. "What now, kitten?" My voice was low, I was amused.
"St... Stop." I grinned at his weak demand.
I licked my lips again before pressing them to his. He went rigid in my grasp, his hands tightening their grip on my waist. I smiled into the kiss, pressing harder against his lips, using my tongue to force them apart. His jaw was clenched. I let go of his cheek and dropped my hand to his hip, gripping his thin frame tightly and pulling his body to meet me. His warm stomach pressed to mine and I growled deep in my throat. I flattened my hand against the back of his head and nipped at his lip with my teeth. I heard his breath suck in and immediately used it to my advantage, slipping my tongue into his mouth. For a moment Kyou failed to respond, but slowly, he began to return the kiss. I closed my eyes and fought harder with him, trying to draw the breath from him. My fingers slid against his hip, and I found the waistband of his pants, and tucked my fingers beneath the cloth, meeting warm tender skin beneath.
Kyou's eyes shot open and I felt his fingers digging into my sides. In an instant he was again drawing himself inward, shoving me away with all the strength he could muster. I sprawled out on my back on the ground and looked up at him from the dirt. I sat up, resting on my elbows, and bent one leg up for balance. I winked at Kyou. His face was red and he was bowed in defense. He stared at me a moment, seething with anger and embarrassment. I bit my lip and smiled at him crookedly.
"What's wrong, kitten?" I asked. I was amused by his violence.
"What the fuck do you think your doing?" He shouted. "And don't call me that!" I laughed.
"I was just giving you what you wanted." I explained, admiring the look of an angry Kyou.
"Fucking bastard!" He spat. "I think I'm going to be sick!" He wiped at his mouth.
"Oh? You seemed to be enjoying it only a moment ago." I pushed myself up from the ground and dusted myself off.
"I wasn't enjoying it!" He denied. I stepped closer to him and he clenched his fists.
"Going to hurt me now, kitten?" I asked, gesturing to his fists.
"Come any closer and I'll kill you!" He promised. He was shaking slightly, and I took pleasure in his discomfort. Shame is such a wondrous thing.
"You've already killed me." I commented, taking another step toward him.
"What are you talking about?" He demanded, raising his fists.
"Ah, never mind that. How about we pick up where we left off?" I offered, advancing. He took a step back. I'd expected him to swing.
"Pervert!" He accused.
"What's wrong with being a pervert?" I asked as I backed him against a tree.
"Si... Sickening!" His voice was quiet and his eyes were wide. I leaned closer to him.
"Come now, kitten. Relax." He tensed at my words. "I'm sure I can change your mind." I smiled at him.
"Never." His voice was low, unsteady.
"Let me teach you a few things." I drew my hand up to his side again, my fingers dancing over his skin. He trembled coyly, timidly.
"Don't..." He warned. I knew he didn't mean it. I relished the uncertainty, the fear. I dragged my fingers across his skin roughly. His fist shot up and connected harshly with the side of my head.
I stumbled, dazedly, to the side. The side of my head ached and I pressed my hand to my temple expecting to find the warm stickiness of blood. Absently, I wondered what exactly I had done to deserve such a punch. I blinked my eyes rapidly and stood up straight, glancing around. I realized I must have blacked out. The last thing I remembered was sitting on the log teasing my fiery cousin. Off to the side, I saw Kyou pulling his shirt over his head. He was mumbling to himself, flushed with the redness of anger or embarrassment. I frowned as I inspected my fingers for traces of blood. I found none. As the pain subsided, I turned to face Kyou. He was staring at me, but would not meet my eyes. My heart sank. I prayed I had done nothing to push him away, hoped I'd done nothing to hurt him.
"Come on." Kyou demanded. He turned away from me and began to follow the trail back in the direction we had come. I looked up at the sky and noticed a bit of time had passed. The sun had moved away from noon, but not so much to lead it into late afternoon. I guessed an hour had passed since we left Shigure's.
"Kyou?" I called out to him as he carefully forced his way passed the dangerous brambles.
"What?" His reply was curt.
"I'm sorry... for, whatever I did." I wasn't sure what I had done, but I knew it called for some sort of penance. Kyou shrugged as he walked, sighing.
"It doesn't matter." He offered, excusing whatever I had done.
"What happened? Did I try to fight you?" I asked, curious. He flushed again, the back of his neck growing red.
"I said it doesn't matter, now drop it!" He growled at me. I knitted my eyebrows. I was even more curious now.
I followed Kyou until the path widened enough for two people to walk, albeit closely. I moved up to walk beside him and he glanced over at me nervously. I smiled at him and he looked away quickly. He seemed incredibly nervous for some reason, and I took care not to brush into him when possible. When we got back to Shigure's, the house was empty. There was a note informing us that Yuki, Tohru, and Shigure had gone into town for lunch. Kyou commented that it figured they would go out for some 'good' food the one time he wasn't around. I smiled at him, knowing he would not have gone even if they had offered him. He hated public places.
"What do you want for lunch?" I was surprised by the question. I shrugged and he scowled at me. "Fine. Then don't eat." Kyou rolled his eyes.
"I'll have whatever you're having." I was never picky when it came to food.
"Leftovers." He grunted. I leaned against the counter as he rummaged through the refrigerator. A moment later he snatched two cups out of the cabinet. He filled one with milk, the other with soda. "Grab the drinks." He ordered as he snatched a container from the fridge, slinging the appliance door closed roughly. Kyou grabbed some utensils from a drawer and headed to the other room. I picked up the glasses and followed him.
"Thanks." I took a seat across from Kyou at the table, folding my legs beneath me. He grumbled and slid some chopsticks across the table to me and popped open the container, placing it in the middle of the table.
"Tohru made it." He explained. I shrugged, unsure what to say. We lapsed into silence and ate.
When we finished eating, Kyou cleared the table, dragging the dishes into the kitchen. He returned with a replenished glass of milk, for him, and more soda for me. He gracefully took his seat across from me and turned to stare out at the back yard. I watched a hundred different emotions pass over his face as he thought silently. I was curious as to what he was thinking about, but I didn't ask. He wasn't one to share his thoughts so easily.
"You're quiet." Kyou commented after some time passed.
"Oh?" I asked, surprised. I wondered why Kyou cared, when he had grown accustomed to my talking.
"Usually, I can't get you to shut up about whatever stupid crap you're always jabbering about." I raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at me. He frowned. "I always thought you were quiet. But now that you're always around, you remind me of Shigure. Constantly babbling about something." He was complaining, but it seemed to be more about the fact that I wasn't talking, rather than my 'constant babble'.
"Ah, well. I don't really have anything to talk about right now." I raised my eyebrows in thought. Usually I talk to him about more obscure things. Life, love, dreams... whatever is eating at either of us.
"Figures. What's a stupid cow have to talk about anyway?" He snorted and stood up. I watched him walk out onto the porch and flop back down.
"You pick a topic, then." I offered, joining him.
"What?" Kyou still wasn't looking at me.
"Well, I can't think of anything to talk about. Besides, I'm just a stupid cow who couldn't possibly have anything interesting to say. So, you pick a topic." He turned to look at me, his face flashing guilt, before he quickly looked away again.
"I didn't mean that. Not exactly." He apologized. "Sometimes, I just say things without thinking." I scoffed.
"I know." I agreed, still surprised by his admittance.
"I try not to get so angry and insult people all the time. But everyone is so stupid, I just can't help it!" He explained, reverting to insults. He realized that he'd done it again and sighed. "See?" He offered, exasperated with himself.
"It's ok." I laughed. "I understand what you mean. We all do, really." He nodded in appreciation.
"I'm bored." Kyou's tone matched the statement. I nodded in agreement. There was little to do but sit there.
"Ah, well, I'm afraid I don't know how to cure that." I shrugged. His face swung to meet mine. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"What did you say?" He frowned.
"I said, I don't know how to cure that." I repeated my statement, knitting my brows. "What did you think I said?"
"Nothing..." He was blushing. I was confused.
Kyou rubbed the back of his neck softly and winced. I frowned at him, wondering what was wrong. His hand traced a line on the back of his shoulder gently, his fingers disappearing beneath his shirt. His face looked mildly annoyed, despite the fact that it obviously hurt. I watched him for a moment as he pulled his hand away to look at his fingers. I noticed that there was a little blood staining the back of his shirt. I frowned. I thought back to the briar and remembered that it had dug into his skin and scratched up the back of his neck and shoulder.
"Is it bleeding?" I asked him. Kyou glared at me.
"It's fine." He snapped, looking warily at me. His sideways glance worried me.
"Let me see." I leaned toward him, my hand reaching for the back of his shirt. He scooted away quickly.
"I said it's fine." He shouted at me. "I don't need some stupid pervert cow poking at me over a little scratch!"
"Oh. Sorry." I sighed and glanced out at the yard. The sun had progressed further in the sky and was glaring red-orange over the trees, shining right into my face. I scooted back on the porch until my back was to the wall and slumped my shoulders. Kyou stared at me.
"It's just that..." He paused. "It just a little scratch." Kyou explained. He seemed worried that he'd hurt my feelings.
"It might get infected." I shrugged.
"I doubt it." He rolled his eyes at me and looked away. He sat quietly for long moments. "You think those thorns were poisonous?" He asked suddenly.
"Possibly." I glanced down at my finger. The tiny prick seemed to have already healed. I doubted the briar was poisonous. If it were, my finger would at least be sore. I pressed the tip of my injured finger to my thumb, testing for pain. There was none.
"It does kind of burn." He commented, again fingering the scratch. I chuckled quietly. I wondered if this was his subtle way of asking me to check out his injury.
"Ah, that could be the poison... or infection." He turned to look at me again. "Or it could be that you've irritated it. Poking at it can do that. So can dirty fingers." He glanced down at his fingers, inspecting them for dirt as I spoke.
"Whatever." He sounded mildly worried and returned his fingers to the small wound.
"Will you let me fix it up now?" I smiled at him.
"I don't care." Kyou's voice was a grumble.
"I'll go get the first aid kit." I stood from the porch and turned toward the house. "Where do you keep it?"
"It's probably still in the kitchen. That airhead Tohru burned herself this morning while making breakfast." His mention of Tohru was affectionate. Smiling, I walked to the kitchen and spotted it on the counter. I wondered why I hadn't noticed it earlier, then remembered that I had been too busy staring at Kyou. I laughed at myself as I picked it up, and then returned to the porch.
"Did you find it?" He asked, not turning to face me.
"Yeah. It was on the counter." I nodded to his back. I took a seat behind him, tucking my legs beneath me, sitting down on my ankles. I tugged the collar of his shirt, pulling the cloth away from his skin and he jumped, spinning around to face me.
"What are you doing?" His eyes narrowed and his voice was demanding.
"How else am I going to clean the scratch? You don't honestly expect me to do it through your shirt, or without touching you, do you?" I frowned at his reaction. He returned my expression wholeheartedly.
"Stupid cow." He mumbled, turning around.
"Just relax." I commented. He tensed, his breath hitching. I pulled the collar of his shirt away and peered at the scratch. It was a rather large scratch, skipping over his skin in a dashed line. The small cuts weren't very deep, but they weren't simple surface scratches either. I let the cloth fall back and opened the kit. I took out an alcohol swab, a bandage and some ointment and laid it aside.
"Be careful." He prompted, warning me not to hurt him. I smiled. He reminded me of a child. I pulled the cloth away gently and reached beneath it with the swab, brushing it against the scratch. He hissed and pulled away. "I said be careful, damnit!"
"You know, this would be easier of you took off your shit." I offered. He turned to glower at me. I stared back at him innocently.
"Are you... 'Black'?" He asked. I knitted my brows, wondering why he would ask me that. I shook my head, his scowl deepened.
"I'm not 'Black'." I reiterated, tilting my head in confusion. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"You better not be." He mumbled. I shrugged as he turned away. He wrapped his fingers into the bottom of his shirt, tugging it over his head. He leaned forward, arching his back and dropped his head to look at his lap. I reached for his cut with the alcohol pad again.
"This might sting." I warned him of the discomfort. Kyou grunted. I wiped at the cut gently, smiling as Kyou's breath caught in his chest. With each pass, he twitched forward, leaning away from the sting. I wrapped my fingers over his shoulder and pulled him back. He tensed at the touch of my hand on his arm, but relaxed soon after. I swabbed the cut once more and then blew on it lightly to relieve the sting. Kyou rolled his head to the side, exposing the side of his neck to me. His sigh was almost inaudible.
My fingers tightened on his shoulder and I leaned him backward, straightening his back a little. I tossed the swab aside and reached for the ointment, twisting off the cap with one hand. I pressed the tube with my thumb, squeezing some of the clear gel onto my index finger, wiping the tip of excess, and then placed the ointment on the porch. I turned back to Kyou. He was still hunched over, quietly allowing me to treat his wound. He hadn't complained so far. I began to spread the ointment over the scratch gently, my finger brushing over the cut. He winced and straightened his back. I rubbed my hand up and down his upper arm, distracting him from the pain as I continued to spread the medicine. When I finished that, I reached for the bandage, releasing Kyou's arm to peel back the packaging with both hands. The bandage was a rather large rectangle of gauze, and I stretched it over the injured area, careful not to press it into the cut. I didn't want it to stick to the wound. I reached for some gauze tape, tearing two strips off with my teeth, and taped the bandage down to Kyou's skin.
"All done." I smiled at his back. I packed up the kit, closing the lid, and pushed it away from us, the used swab folded in the bandage wrapper lying on the top of the plastic container. Kyou remained hunched over, his breath swelling his ribs and causing his back to rise with each inhalation. I watched him idly, admiring the way his thinness allowed his bones to show through his skin.
"My back itches." Kyou's voice was sleepy. I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Oh? Where?" The amusement was apparent in my voice.
"In the middle..." He paused. "Close to the top." He offered. I wondered if this was Kyou's version of flirting, of hinting at me that he liked my touch. I raised my hand to his back.
"Here?" My fingers scratched lightly over his back.
"Higher." A mumble. I traced my fingers upward.
"How about here?" I bit my lip. His skin was soft.
"Left." I obeyed, moving my hand to the side. His shoulders lifted and his head dipped further toward his chest. "Right there..." His voice was a little strained.
I ran my fingernails over the spot, making little circles. His flesh reddened under my fingers. The muscles in his back relaxed and tightened, and he rolled his shoulder blades. I smiled crookedly, enjoying the moment. My heart raced in my chest as I continued to scratch his back, widening the circles I made with my nails. A soft noise of appreciation escaped Kyou's lips, and I raised my brows. It reminded me of a purr.
"Better?" I asked, still dragging my fingers across his back. He nodded absently, his head falling to the side as his shoulders rolled again. I leaned closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body bleed into mine. Boldly, I moved even closer until I could rest my chin on his bandaged shoulder. I continued to scratch gently over his back, my arm trapped loosely between us. I sighed. "Kyou?" I asked softly.
"Hmm?" I was reminded of earlier, in the woods, when I had been stroking his hair. I slipped my hand from his back and wrapped it around his waist, slowly sliding my palm across his flat stomach. His muscles flexed beneath my touch. I spread my knees and pulled him backward against me, leaning more heavily on his back. He didn't pull away.
"Kyou, I..." I paused, gently pressing the side of my face against his. "Can I kiss you?" I whispered.
"Haru..." Kyou's voice was low. "Haru, that's not..." Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up to the house out front. Kyou sprang forward, his face red and his eyes looking anywhere but at me. "Where's my shirt?" He asked, panicked. I wanted to scream with frustration.
"Here." Reaching over, I lifted his shirt from the porch and handed it to him. He took it impatiently from my hand and slipped it on over his head.
"It's inside out." Leaning back, I pulled my legs from beneath me and stretched them out.
"What?" He looked down at his chest.
"Your shirt. It's inside out." I gestured to his clothes.
"Oh!" Kyou pulled the shirt back off over his head and turned it right before slipping it back on. "Thanks." His hands swiped the wrinkles from the cloth.
"Your welcome, kitten." I smiled at him. His eyes shot up to meet mine in surprise.
"Don't call me that, stupid cow." He was growling again. I shrugged. Kyou stomped over to the porch and took a seat as far from me as possible, dangling his legs off the edge of the porch.
Shigure, Yuki, and Tohru had returned from lunch accompanied by Hatori. I listened to their chatter as they took seats at the kotatsu, ignoring mine and Kyou's presence completely. Shigure was again babbling at Hatori about nonsensical things, trying the other mans patience. I heard Shigure asking after Hatori's progress with his book. The dragon commented that he'd not yet found the time to read it. The dog nagged him for long moments until Hatori agreed to read it in the next few days. Shigure happily bragged about how he was sure Hatori would adore it, wrangling a promise from the doctor to let him know as soon as he finished it. I glanced over at Kyou and realized that he had been staring at me as I sightlessly stared at the yard. I smiled at him, and he glowered at me. I shrugged. He snorted and looked away.
My mind wandered as I stared at Kyou's profile. He was smoother day by day, his rough edges wearing away in the quiet autumn days. The wind stirred the trees and I watched as they waved at the sky, releasing their leaves to dance through the air and over the ground. I wondered idly what Kyou had been about to say when we were interrupted. It didn't matter much now, the moment having fled. Each day seemed to be drawing Kyou out of his shell, each day he let me get a little closer. I was happy with what I could have, living the moments rather than the life. Even if I couldn't have anything more than what I'd already experienced, I realized I was full. He'd given me more than he'd given anyone else, and I had my dreams. Kyou was there, at night, angrily pushing at me in my head, shouting, cursing, telling me I was a 'stupid cow' if I so much as looked at him. And too, in my sleeping mind, he was letting me closer, allowing me to pull him to me and share the warmth he held within him. I glanced down at my hands; I could still feel the warmth of his body, my fingers were humming with the sensation of slipping over his skin. Again tonight, I knew, Kyou would be there, visiting my dreams.
...
A/N: Ahh. Sorry, sorry. Writers block. Smiles weakly I tried, but no matter how hard I did, nothing would come! I couldn't think of a damn thing to write. It's been a bit like that throughout writing this story. I never even had an idea. I just started writing one day to see what would happen. I fear this is going nowhere. But I won't abandon it. More blathering chapters are to come. I should, perhaps, go back and read what I've just written. See if my nonsense has any semblance of order at all. I worry its all chaotic and plotless gibberish. Well, perhaps it is plotless, as is the whole story so far. I should think up some twists and turns, an underlying story. Again, I repeat. I cannot write 'Black' Haru. I'm sorry for cramming these characters into such 'out of character' bodies. Despite it all, I'm having a wonderful time writing this story. And I do appreciate the support I'm getting for it.
2: Thanks once again for the reviews. I appreciate that people are reading it. It seems some of you are enjoying it a little. I'm glad.
