Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Fruits Basket or anything pertaining to the manga or anime. The characters, places, etc... are not mine, nor do I lay any claim on them. This is not an attempt to infringe on any rights or copyrights, as this is purely for entertainment.
Authors Note: The fifth chapter. Please, God help me! I'm dead in the water on this one. Repetitively, I plead... please inform me of any spelling or grammar mistakes. If I've left off or interchanged a letter, used a foreign spelling, or misspelled a foreign word... etc. Also, this chapter will probably be re-written at some point. If so, I will make mention. Check the author's note, located, -here-, on occasion to find out. Although, if it hasn't changed in 2 weeks, it never will. : )
Title: 'Autumn'
Author: Evie Gunn
Rating: R rated for language and adult/sexual situations
Series: Fruits Basket
Pairings: Haru x Kyou
Genre: ?
Archive: If you like... just tell me where. I'm inclined to be a pessimist, so I doubt anyone would want to, but hey...
...
Autumn
Chapter 5: Burning the Ghosts
A leaf in my canopy had gone brittle and torn itself neatly down the middle, precariously hanging above me by a veiny fiber, and I stared idly as it quivered. I wondered when it would break free, when I'd find that crisp little half-leaf floating down to rest with me on my bed. My canopy had been crumbling; each day I swept away more remnants of my tribute to autumn, each day another bit of white ceiling showed through my sky of red and gold. I would miss the multicolored decoration, I'd miss the blanket of leaves; it had kept me warm with memory of both autumn, and the cat who shared the colors. I prayed to whatever god would listen, that when my multihued sky was bare, I'd have warmer, truer colors to keep me company.
Suddenly in need of fresh air, I pushed myself up and climbed out of my bed. Standing, I stretched my arm toward my ceiling and plucked away the dangling leaf, crushing the delicate thing to tiny pieces in my palm. The fragile nature of both the lifeless flora, and my crimson-eyed cousin left me nearly breathless with my effort to be delicate. The smallest amount of pressure could crack the thin membrane of dead flora as easily as that same pressure could crack the tentative bond I'd made with Kyou. I closed my fist around the crumbled remnants and left my room behind in search of the washed out colors of early evening. I slipped on my boots at the door and stepped outside onto the porch. I took a seat on the steps and glanced out toward the horizon at the setting sun. The sunset's red glow washed away into orange and yellow, finally spending itself into a pale expanse of graying sky, littered with the transparent twinkle of stars. They glittered weakly against the pale backdrop like the ethereal light of ghosts.
My head began to hurt, and I pressed my chill fingers to my temple in an effort to relieve some of the ache. Ache. My chest tightened, and I wondered at the sudden dull pain. Empathy, or love, tore at me like a clawed cat, begging me to release it from my grasp, but my draining paralysis would not allow me to let go. I frowned at myself and wrapped my coat tighter about me, trying to ward off the chill. I glanced down at my hand, the dust of the crushed leaf was still in my palm, and I wondered if I could will it back together. I mused on the thought of brittle leaves and fall, once again. I sighed to myself and closed my eyes. I was spending another season forging my love for autumn, and the vibrant colors of 'the season of dying'.
I tucked my chin to my chest and laughed at my wandering mind, forever drifting off into an immature and self absorbed philosophy. I shivered again and leaned into the light breeze. The nights were much cooler than the days; the sun had withered beneath the horizon, slipping away to warm another more vibrant part of the earth. I took a shallow breath and tried to relax against the cold. Quiet footsteps mingled with a sweetly childish song, both echoing hauntingly through the crisp evening, wrangled my attention and I turned to watch as Momiji skipped along a cobbled path toward my own house. His gold hair seemed to glow softly in a blurry tribute to the sunset, his eyes shining with happiness from beneath. I watched his lips form each meaningless word, my mind riding the tide of content that the rabbit offered.
"Hello, Haru." Momiji's voice almost sang the words, and I glanced up at his face in time to catch a warm smile. His cheeks were flushed with color, his nose pink with cold.
"Hello, Momiji." I nodded to him, returning the smile softly. He took a seat next to me, his shoulder leaning into me. He moved, almost restlessly, against my side.
"What do you have in your hand?" He pulled my wrist toward him and pried my hand open. I let him unfold my fingers with no resistance. "Another leaf fell?" His question was simply inquisitive.
"I pulled it down before it could fall." I glanced sideways at the blond, nodding in his direction.
"Sometimes, they need a little help." He smiled and nodded back at me as he spoke, stirring the crushed leaf in my hand with his finger. I wondered what strange insight he held captive in his words.
"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows at him. Momiji rarely said anything without having a story to paint his words.
"Yes." He nodded. "You see... each leaf remembers something. Some remember summer, and some remember spring. And they remember rain, and birds, and insects, and hot days." He smiled at me, his eyes squinting pleasantly. His smile faded as he returned to his story. "And some remember other things; storms, and drought, or even how lovers carved their names into the tree... and maybe they remember how one lover returned and scratched the names out." I knitted my eyebrows at him as his shoulders slumped in empathy for the tree and the divided lovers. "Each memory falls from the branches, the good and the bad, leaving the tree bare."
"That's sad." My idle comment caused Momiji to brighten.
"No, Haru." He smiled at me and tipped my hand. The pieces fell from my palm as he brushed them away with his fingers. "Once it's stripped bare, it can start fresh! The tree has gotten rid of the past, and it can start all over again." Momiji giggled softly.
"But...?" I urged him to finish.
"But, sometimes, some of the leaves don't want to come off. So they need a little help. Some of them fall with an entire branch, and some of them are torn off in hard wind, or stolen by a bird to make a nest. And sometimes, a person comes along and pulls them down." Momiji reached over my lap to pluck a leaf from a nearly bare bush at the side of the steps. He inspected it a moment before letting it fall to the ground.
"Even if you pull them down, the leaves are still there, lying under the tree. Maybe it can still remember them." I was fishing for an answer.
"That's true, but they aren't connected. They don't weigh down the tree anymore." Momiji glanced out at the yard. "Eventually, though, the leaves turn back into earth." He smiled up at me. "Or a gardener, who takes care of the trees, comes along and rakes them all up and burns them." I frowned at him. "Of course, either way, the memories will always be there, but they've changed now. Now they are feeding the tree, rather than feeding off of it." Momiji scrunched his face, his nose wrinkling cutely, and then leaned his head against my shoulder.
"Where do you hear these stories?" My voice was quiet as I spoke. I smiled to myself. Momiji had explained so much to me in such a simple way, giving me a piece of mind I'd been searching for, for days.
"I make them up! Well, not all of them. Lots of them, I hear at school." Momiji's singsong voice drifted out as he lifted his head from my shoulder. He looked up at me and smiled before hopping up and tugging on my arm, dragging me up from the porch. It seemed he was always answering questions I couldn't voice, and then dragging me off to put the answers to use.
"Where are we going?" I already had an idea.
"We are going to see Shigure." His grin widened. "Hatori said that he thinks Shigure needs medical attention." I wondered at his smile
"Oh?" I frowned. "What happened?" I was concerned.
"Hatori read Shigure's book." Momiji burst into giggles. I joined him in the laugh. The joke was not lost on me; I had read the book as well, filling my bored nights with Shigure's romantic notions.
The rabbit dragged me across the grounds to Hatori's office, and we waited while the dragon packed his things; Shigure's book was tossed into a bag with a barely concealed hint of disgust. I fought to hide my smile as Hatori acknowledged us, shepherding us out of the office. Once outside, we followed the doctor to the car. Momiji climbed into the front seat next to Hatori, and I slipped into the back, reclining in the seat. The drive was peaceful, the quiet broken only by Momiji's melodic humming, and I nearly drifted to sleep, calmed by his song. When the car stopped, I was wrenched from my hazy mood and thrust easily back into reality. I climbed out of the car and followed a bouncing Momiji and a lethargic Hatori up to Shigure's house.
"Hatori, Momiji, Haru! It's so nice to see you again!" Tohru's sweet voice greeted us at the door, ushering us inside politely.
"Tohru!" Momiji shouted the girls name as he leapt into her arms. Clothing slid to the ground as Tohru held the small rabbit in a gentile embrace. Hatori frowned and stooped to pick up the fallen clothes, folding them negligently and stuffing them into his bag. I shook my head, amused, and stroked Momiji's soft fur as I passed.
"Ha-ri!" The name echoed through the house, reverberating off the walls. Hatori had set his bag down, and placed his fingers in his ears in preparation for Shigure's enthusiastic greeting. The dog rushed past us as we crowded the hall, slinging his arms about his friend. When Shigure finally let go, Hatori lifted his bag once again and narrowed his eyes at the dog. The overdramatic writer immediately began to pout. "What's wrong, Ha-ri?"
"I've come for checkup's." Hatori's simple response sent Shigure into babbling once again.
"Oh, Ha-ri! You were worried about me. My heart swells with love and gratitude that you would come all the way out here just to make sure I was in good health!" Shigure's face lit up, his dramatic side drowning his calmer personality. I smiled.
"After reading that book, I feared you might need some medical attention." The quiet comment seemed quite unlike Hatori, and I couldn't help but laugh. Shigure stared at me a moment as he processed the remark.
"Hari!" How could you say such a thing? Didn't you like my wonderful story?" Shigure's eyes glossed with hurt as he folded his arms, tucking his hands into his sleeves.
"Idiot." Hatori muttered the word and moved past Shigure. The dog trailed after him. I imagined his tail tucked between his legs, brought to heel by Hatori's stoic disregard for his drama.
I followed the men into the other room. Tohru, looking quiet confused, followed at my side, still carrying Momiji. She was stroking the rabbit's head as he snuggled into her chest, once again, humming his contentment. We had interrupted their dinner, and Kyou and Yuki were seated at the kotatsu, eating in silence while they glared at one another from across the table. I frowned at them in amusement. I supposed they would remain rivals for years to come, but I silently hoped that they would eventually see in each other what the rest of us found in each of them. I took a seat beside Kyou and greeted he and Yuki. Yuki returned the salutation with curt politeness, Kyou, however, only grunted, filling his mouth with the remains of his food. I smiled at him and shrugged to myself. Shigure and Hatori joined us, taking their seats at the table, while Tohru returned to her own spot, sitting down gently and cradling the rabbit in her lap.
"Yuki." Hatori pulled his slight glare from Shigure and turned his attention to the mouse.
"Yes, Hatori?" Yuki's soft voice was respectful. After his chastisement from Hatori, the dark-haired boy had become more polite in the dragon's presence, and was reluctant to taunt Kyou while the man was around.
"Have you had any attacks lately?" Hatori began to fish through his bag, drawing out a syringe and medications, as well as a stethoscope, and other items. He had been serious about the checkups, despite the threat to Shigure. Yuki shook his head as Hatori finished finding his tools, answering the doctor's question. The dragon turned toward Yuki and urged him to open his shirt, pressing the end of the listening device to his palm to warm it before placing it against the dark-haired boys chest.
"Can't you do this someplace else? I'm trying to eat." Kyou's voice was filled with disgust. I turned to watch him as he pushed himself away from the table, glowering at Hatori from across the room. When he was ignored, he drew himself up and stalked out of the room, his footsteps echoing as he climbed the stairs.
"Ha-ri!" Shigure piped in, interrupting Hatori's calm as he listened to Yuki breathe. I glanced over at Tohru, her blushing face turned downward. I wondered when the blond would return to his natural form, and smiled at the thought of a very naked Momiji draped over the shy girls lap.
"What is it, Shigure?" Hatori answered with his customary patience.
"You only care about Yuki! Where is my checkup?" Shigure grinned, lapsing into silence as his eyes fell closed. I wondered what perverse thoughts filled his mind at that moment. I thought back on his book and smiled to myself. Hatori ignored the other man, finishing his inspection of Yuki's lungs before giving the mouse his approval and allowing him to dress again.
"Now it's your turn, Shigure." Hatori's deep voice caused the dog to jump, drawing him from his imagination. His face split in a bright grin.
"Ah! You do care, don't you? Oh, should I undress? Shouldn't we go into another room, Ha-ri? You'll be gentle, won't you?" Shigure rambled his questions in one breath. Hatori frowned. I smiled at them both. Yuki scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning to converse with Tohru in favor of offering any of his attention to the antics.
"Shigure. Sit still." Hatori ordered the dog to stillness, and Shigure fell silent. Hatori reached his hand beneath Shigure's robe, pressing a now cold end piece to the man's chest, causing Shigure to gasp at the contact.
"That's so mean! You warmed it for him!" Shigure pointed across at Yuki in a childish manner, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from the dragon. I'd never seen Hatori respond in quite that way, but I found it more than amusing. It reminded me of the way Kyou dealt with both Momiji and Tohru.
"Ahh! Oh my goodness!" Tohru's shout caught my attention, and I turned in time to see her scramble away from Momiji as he returned to his human form, grinning and giggling as the girl blushed and turned to hide her face in her hands.
"Hurry and get dressed." Yuki's unamused voice ended Momiji's laughter. The mouse tugged the rabbit's clothes from Hatori's bag and shoved them at the blond, demanding obedience.
"Aww, you're no fun, Yuki. Haru wouldn't make me get dressed!" Yuki turned away from the pink-faced blond to scowl at me in accusation. I smiled as Momiji poked out his bottom lip in a childlike pout.
"Yes, I would." I nodded to Momiji, ignoring Yuki's disapproving glare. Momiji immediately returned to smiling. He dressed quickly and plopped down next to me, leaning his head on my arm.
"You never play along anymore, Ha-ru." I glanced over at Yuki; his brow was scrunched in confusion. I shrugged at him.
"Ow! Why are you being so rough, Ha-ri?" Shigure's shout of discomfort, again, diverted attention to he and the dragon. I felt as if I were watching a comedy on television.
"Revenge." Hatori spoke evenly, staring into Shigure's eyes with a serious demeanor. He pulled the needle from Shigure's arm none to gently, and set it down on the tabletop, shoving aside a bowl to make space. I wondered, idly, when Tohru would clear away the dishes. Shigure leaned back, away from the dragon.
"Revenge? What for?" The dog's voice had become whiny, and I wondered how he had perfected the art of complaining.
"The Book." Hatori pulled the book from his bag, proffering it in Shigure's direction. Shigure, however was not offended, instead his mouth stretched into a broad smile that threatened to break his face in half with it's intensity.
"I knew you liked it! What was your favorite part?" The dog rubbed his palms together conspiratorially, leaning toward his friend with interest. Hatori scoffed in disbelief. I arched my brows at them.
"Shigure. Each character was modeled after one of us." Hatori's eyes narrowed as he swept his hand around the room.
"Ah, I didn't think you noticed." Shigure grinned, pleased with himself. Hatori closed his eyes in annoyance.
"'Shigune', 'Hatoshi', 'Yukito', 'Haku'..." Hatori ticked off the characters names. I smiled at the memory.
"You forgot to mention 'Koko', 'Momo', and 'Toto'. Hardly intelligent disguises." Yuki rolled his eyes. I knitted my eyebrows at Yuki; surprised he'd read the book. "If Kyou reads that nonsense, Hatori may have to return to mend your broken bones." I nodded in agreement.
"But it was so lovely!" Shigure swooned.
"Idiot." Hatori frowned at the dog.
"And the ridiculous things you had us all doing... It's disgusting!" Yuki spat at Shigure. I laughed.
"Haru, you liked it didn't you?" Shigure turned his eyes toward me, pleading for some form of praise. I smiled at him and nodded. It was an amusing read, regardless of his twisted reality. However, despite my best efforts, I could not imagine Hatori dressed as a 'nurse' and catering to 'Doctor' Shigure's every whim; although it was relatively easy to imagine Yuki and Tohru in matching wedding dresses as they took their vows. I hid my smile as both Yuki and Hatori glared at me.
"Perverts!" Yuki sighed in agitation.
"You wrote a book about us, Shigure?" Tohru's innocent question sent Momiji into giggles. Shigure, however, brightened at the possibility of allowing the girl to read his explicit romance. As expected, Yuki intervened before Shigure could answer Tohru, or hand her the book he now held in his hands.
"Ah, you don't want to read that book, Tohru. It's terribly boring, and hardly proper material for someone as sweet as you." Yuki's voice had lost the edge, and he spoke kindly to Tohru. The girl blushed at the compliment, forgetting all about the book. Shigure sat helplessly gazing at Hatori, who patiently ignored the pouting man.
"Where is Kyou?" Hatori's quiet voice questioned after the crimson-eyed cat. I glanced at the hall toward the stairs.
"I'll get him." I offered. Shigure immediately smiled.
"Ah! Just like in my book! 'Haku leaves the party in search of Koko, hunting the darkened upper floors of the mansion for his lover, lustfully calling his name into the stillness'!" I smiled down at Shigure as I stood to leave the room. "'Upon finding Koko, the virile Haku thrust the boy to the floor, tearing away his flimsy clothing and exposing his'..." Hatori issued another soft hit to the back of the dog's head before he could finish his sentence.
I climbed the stairs slowly, taking them one at a time as I ascended to the second floor. I followed the dim hall, searching for Kyou's door. Standing outside the entrance to Kyou's room, I paused, thinking back on Shigure's story. It was oddly prophetic, despite the fact that Kyou was neither my lover, nor was the gathering downstairs a glorious ball. I laughed to myself as I knocked on the door. I was met with silence. I knocked again, louder this time, and finally, I was graced with the annoyed voice of my crimson-eyed cousin. I slid the door open and entered the room quietly. Kyou was sprawled on his futon, legs stretched out in front of him, his head propped back against the wall. In his hands was a rather thick book; the pressed leaf bookmark lay next to him on the blanket. I smiled.
"Hatori would like you to come down stairs." I waited for his reply.
"Tell him to kiss my ass." His flippant remark made me frown.
"I don't think that's a good idea. He's not in a good mood." I shrugged and turned to leave.
"Then tell him whatever you like. I'm staying up here." Kyou snapped at me, his response predictably annoyed.
"It's fine, Haru." Hatori interrupted us and I turned quickly to face him. I hadn't heard him enter the room.
"Don't you know how to knock?" Kyou's bitterness bled into his words.
"The door was open." Hatori's reply moved Kyou's glare to me.
"Shut the door next time, stupid cow." I shrugged apologetically and turned to leave.
"Haru." Hatori's voice halted my steps. I made a noise of acknowledgement. "It is more convenient to treat you both at once." I nodded at him and crossed the room to sit at Kyou's desk. "Take off your shirt." The comment was directed at both of us.
"I'm not sick." Kyou remained in his previous position.
"I didn't ask you if you were. Sit up." Hatori responded calmly. Kyou glared a moment, but decided to comply. I pulled my shirt off over my head and laid it across my lap. Kyou peeled his own off, tossing it to the side to land in a heap to his left.
"Hurry up." Kyou's order was ignored as the dragon took his time gathering his things.
I waited patiently in the chair as Hatori probed at Kyou. My mind wandered even as my eyes danced over Kyou's exposed flesh. I found my thoughts drifting to scenes that would likely be found in Shigure's next romance, and chastised myself for emulating the dog's perverse thoughts. I pulled my eyes away from Kyou and stared at the papers scattered over the surface of the desk. It was, perhaps, the only messy space in the cat's room. His scrawling handwriting covered the papers; uneven and heavy-handed words decorated the white sheets in patterns. I recognized some of the essays to be schoolwork, while others seemed to be random thoughts, perhaps poetry or lyrics. I didn't think Kyou was the type to write such things, so instead I speculated that the writings were as simple as they seemed. Random thought, jotted down in boredom. My eyes hovered on the papers a moment longer before swinging back toward Kyou. His eyes were clenched shut as Hatori pressed a needle into Kyou's flesh.
"What was that for?" Kyou asked, rubbing at his arm. He was staring at the reddening spot on the inside of his elbow as he spoke, his countenance irritated.
"Immunization." Hatori capped the syringe and dropped it into a small baggie before discarding it in his bag. He hefted his bag as he stood and approached me. My eyes stared past him at Kyou. "Sit up straight, Haru." I complied, not moving my eyes from Kyou. I watched my cousin as he donned his shirt and returned to reading his book.
"I've been having headaches." I spoke quietly to Hatori as he listened to my lungs. He nodded, a short hum slipping from his throat. I allowed him to tilt back my head as he shined a light into my eyes.
"Your pupils are dilated. Are you in pain right now?" I nodded in response. My head had been hurting all day. "Tomorrow I will bring you something to ease the pain." I nodded at Hatori again, blinking my eyes rapidly. As I fought to adjust to the dim light of the room, I noticed that Kyou was staring at me. When I caught his eyes, he frowned at me.
"Is there something wrong with you?" Kyou's voice sounded more annoyed than concerned.
"I get headaches. Hatori thinks it has something to do with my 'Black' personality." I explained the situation to Kyou. Hatori remained silent.
"Stupid cow. It's probably because you don't let it out enough." Kyou rolled his eyes at me and returned to his book.
"You have a calming effect on me. He hasn't surfaced much lately." I shrugged at Kyou. Hatori glanced back and forth between the two of us as he packed away his things.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyou snatched his bookmark from the blanket and closed it in his book before tossing the tome aside. "Don't blame me for your headaches!"
"I wasn't blaming you, Kyou." I frowned at him and lifted my shirt from my lap, slipping it over my head as he stared at me angrily.
"Well, don't thank me either! I don't have anything to do with 'Black' Haru." Kyou threw a hand into the air, dismissing my assumption that he was the reason I'd not gone 'Black' so often over the past month.
"Perhaps Haru is right. Since you two have become closer, there have been fewer incidents where his 'Black' personality surfaced." Hatori agreed with my assumption.
"We haven't become closer! Why would I want to be friends with some cow with a split personality?" Kyou defended himself against what he perceived to be an accusation.
"I see." I stood slowly and thanked Hatori, he nodded in return. Kyou stared at me. He seemed to be caught between an apology and embarrassment. Hatori's presence seemed to cause him to balk. "Goodnight, Kyou." I turned to leave, smiling to myself as I moved toward the door.
"Wa... wait." Kyou sighed, giving in. I stopped and turned around, Hatori looked utterly confused. Kyou was frowning at me in exasperation. "I'm sorry." The words were bitten off, as if he were being forced to amend his earlier statement.
"Sorry for what?" I wasn't sure why I asked. Perhaps, I wanted Hatori to see how Kyou was changing as well.
"You know what for, damnit!" Kyou shouted. I smiled at him and glanced over at Hatori. Hatori knitted his eyebrows at me and glanced over at Kyou. A blush spread across the cat's features and he glowered harder in an attempt to hide it.
"Ah, well, I suppose I accept your apology." I raised an eyebrow at Kyou.
"You suppose? Go to hell, you asshole!" Kyou stood from his futon, bristling in anger. I wondered if he would try to fight me, if he would draw out 'Black' Haru.
"I'll be downstairs." Hatori spoke softly to me, excusing himself from the room. I thought I detected a slight smile on his face, but I wasn't sure; his hair fell strategically to cover his expression.
I returned to my seat at Kyou's desk, despite the seething anger that radiated off the crimson-eyed boy. I stared passively back at him, his eyes seemed to glow with passionate hate for me in those quiet moments. Not only had I embarrassed him, but I'd also expressed my tentative control over him in a most blatant way. I deserved his ire. Eventually, the anger drained from Kyou's body and he returned to his seat on the futon, his scowl remaining to remind me of my affront. I watched him as his intense stare bored into me. Silence reigned over the next few minutes before Kyou finally spoke to me again.
"Why are you still here?" He sounded tired.
"You never asked me to leave." I rubbed idly at my temple, trying to relieve the headache that was returning to intensity. As my body tired, the pain grew.
"Your head still hurts?" I nodded at him. The scowl slipped away and was replaced by a frown.
"I'm used to it." I shrugged, dropping my hand back to my lap.
"It's easy to get used to pain like that." His words were mumbled, but there was nothing to buffer the sound, so his voice carried clearly.
"I suppose." I wondered what exactly he was thinking. We were both quiet for a long time. I was again reminded of those uncomfortable silences that seemed to trap people so often.
"I used to get headaches." Kyou leaned back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
"Used to?" I watched him as he scratched at his neck.
"When I was little, after my mother died. I went to live with Kazuma, and started learning martial arts." He paused. I knew all of this already. "I started getting headaches all the time. Kazuma thought it was because I had so much pent up frustration, stress. Then you came to train with us, and I forgot about all of it. I guess I was too distracted dragging you to the bathroom all the time. Stupid brat." I smiled at the memory.
"Oh." I sighed. Kyou had reminded me of Momiji's gardener analogy.
"It's like that now, too." Kyou turned to glare at me. "You make me forget things." I raised my eyebrows at him.
"I'm sorry." I smiled at him apologetically.
"I can't concentrate when you're around. You're always asking me stupid questions and making me feel guilty! It fucking pisses me off!" His voice rose in agitation, but the words refused to be offensive.
"I'm sorry." I offered again. I knitted my brows against warming pain in my head.
"Stop saying that, you stupid cow!" Kyou rolled his eyes at me and turned to stare out the window. I nearly opened my mouth to apologize again. When I realized what I was about to do, I bit back the words. My head throbbed suddenly, and I rubbed at my temples again.
"I think I need some air." Dizziness washed over me as I stood, and I nearly stumbled as I made my way to the balcony.
I slid the doors open and slipped outside to lean on the rails. The cool air relieved some of the pain almost immediately, and my vision cleared. I leaned over and rested my head on the cool wood of the balcony railing. The feel of the cold plank drew a sigh from my lungs, and I closed my eyes. I relaxed against the balustrade, folding my arms over my head and allowing my weight to fall on my arms. My breath slowed as the pain abated, and I continued to rest peacefully in the calm evening. The quiet was broken by Kyou's footsteps as he joined me on the balcony. I lifted my head and glanced to my right as he leaned against the railing beside me. He was staring out over the yard.
I returned my head to the rail, pressing my warm head against the smooth coolness of the wood once again. I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. The cool evening air began to seep into my skin, but I hardly noticed. For a long while, both Kyou and I simply stood there silently, unmoving as I fought with my headache, and he fought with whatever he was struggling with. My legs began to buckle beneath me as I strained to remain standing in the odd position, but I was comfortable, and my headache was fading back into a dull twinge. I heard the faint sound of a sigh slipping from Kyou's lips, and then I heard him shift his position. I didn't turn or lift my head; rather I opened my eyes to stare at the floor. I smiled at his shadow as it reached over the edge of the balcony with my own.
"You piss me off." Kyou's whisper was barely audible over the sound of the wind rustling the trees; the wood creaking in the breeze was louder than the breathy words he'd uttered. A moment later, I could feel his fingers tangling in my hair. It was so gentle I could barely feel him threading my hair between his digits, combing it softly. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on the feel of it. A moment later, his fingers moved away, and he increased the distance between us. I lifted myself to fold my arms over the rail, leaning over to balance my weight as I rested against the wooden balcony. I turned my face toward Kyou.
"I dreamed you were petting my hair." I smiled crookedly at Kyou and he glowered at me.
"Idiot." Kyou snorted and turned away.
I lifted my face toward the sky. The stars had grown brighter, glowing more strongly against the dark backdrop. They still reminded me of ghosts, but I imagined them burning out, disappearing into the blackness of the sky. If the heavens were a mirror, then the stars were the ghosts of everyone in the world. Each time one twinkled out, another ghost was burned away like leaves on an autumn day. I chuckled to myself and Kyou snorted at me, annoyed with my unaccompanied laughter. From below, Momiji called to me, his young face tilted up toward the balcony. I smiled down at him and then turned to leave. I moved past Kyou silently, neither of us offering parting words. My steps echoed through the quiet house as I made my way out and into the yard. As I climbed into the backseat of Hatori's car, I glanced up at Kyou's balcony, but he wasn't there. His window was dark. I shrugged to myself and shut the car door. Hopefully, Kyou would forget a little more of his pain, and maybe, I'd remember a little more of what I was missing.
...
A/N: This chapter will probably be rewritten and replaced at some point, as I am extremely unhappy with it. In the past, I've been balked by inarticulation and lack of idea, and blamed it on writers block. And ever the eternal pessimist, I've decorated my a/n's with my blathering, degrading my story and myself. I'll try not to do that from now on... it's a waste of your time. However! This chapter is the garbage produced while afflicted with 'real' writer's block. (Mental, physical, and weather related writer's block.) I've been hammered with bad weather, migraines and problems with my computer. I think my sweet little box of electronic freedom might crash. I pray it won't. Originally, I had plans for this chapter, but they fled as I sat stagnant in the face of power loss and tornado. So I wrote the first thing that I could force my mind and hands to agree on. I'm sorry for anyone out of character, also, for placing Kyou's balcony on the wrong side of the house. (Hmm... I do believe I did that.) This part of the story was a simple exercise in curing writer's block, I'm not sure, exactly, why it's even posted. I sincerely apologize for this chapter. I hate it. Ok, I'm done.
2: Thanks again for all the reviews. I love you all! Even the ones who were mean to me. : ) If I could, I'd give you all presents.
