Author's Notes
This is not a typical fanfic, in that it does not have a storyline that is followed. It instead focuses on what is going through the characters' heads as they go through their (not-so-boring) daily routines. Thus, expect a totally different writing style from usual.
I originally wanted to make this a one-shot focusing on Kitsune, but the concept was just too good to be used this way. Every chapter will focus on its titular (man I love this word) character and present his/her point of view as well as his/her thoughts throughout the day. The girls will be first, of course, and Keitaro's chapter will be the final one, tying up all the loose ends and explaining some things unexplained in the anime.
Yes, this fanfic is based on the anime, not the manga. While I enjoyed the manga much more than the anime, for this fanfic I needed a time where the character's lives stabilized for a while. The manga is episodic and does not offer such a time, so I had to work with the anime. Time-wise this is set after the final episode of the Love Hina TV series, before the Christmas and Spring Specials and before the Love Hina Again OVA. I do implement some elements from the manga when and where I think it's appropriate.
I tried, I really tried to make this a PG-13 fic. However, several of the characters, especially Kitsune, are pretty candid, and I could not control them completely! Thus the "R" rating!
One more thing. At some point you will see Mizuho Fujisawa featured in this fanfic. For those of you who don't know who she is, she is Keitaro's real "promise girl", only featured in the Love Hina Dreamcast game. She was not featured in the anime or the manga, which I think is a shame since she is a pretty cool character. The game actually ties in with the anime pretty well so I decided to use her in this fanfic. I think this is her first appearance in one! I will definitely add a chapter dedicated to her later.
Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina or any of the characters that appear in this fic. If I did I would have definitely adapted "Loss and Redemption" or "A Little Bit of Magic" by now. No, they belong to Ken Akamatsu, Kodansha, Tokyopop, Konami, and Studio Xebec. I am just an amateur writer so please don't send me to jail!
Chapter 1: A Day in the Life of Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno
7'23AM: I wake up, much to my dismay. Geez! Did last night really happen? I feel like I got run over by a train. I can literally feel my veins pop as they try to rush blood into my brain. The mother of all hangovers is upon me and I pray for the day when somebody perfects a head transplant. I slowly and painfully open my eyes.
7'24AM: I spend a whole minute examining my surroundings. I must either be in the town dump or my room. Since I don't recall being anywhere near the town dump, it's safe to assume that I am in my room. I decide to dispel my hangover with some more sleep.
7'26AM: I feel something jump up and down on me, screaming "BREAKFAST IS READY!!! BREAKFAST IS READY!!!". I open up my eyes again to see Kaolla jumping up and down my belly. Relax, girl! I feel bad enough without you using my body as a trampoline. I feel like throwing up, but thankfully there is nothing inside of me. I tell her to go down and that I'll join the gang shortly. I sigh with relief as she exits the room.
7'29AM: I really want to sleep, but the grumbling in my stomach indicates that I need to eat something, the pain in my head that I need to use some aspirin, and the sting in my "nether regions" that I have to use the toilet...BADLY! I grumble and curse as I get out of my futon. I don't dress up. This is an emergency!
7'32AM: As I quickly approach the toilet I bump into Keitaro, who had just finished cleaning the bathroom and is starting to clean the floor. I greet him as I start going into the toilet. He blushes as I am only wearing my black laced underwear. Blood sprinkles from his nose, soiling the floor he just cleaned. He starts mopping more aggressively. Heh! Looks like I still got the touch, even though I just woke up and feel like I've been run over by a steamroller. This makes me feel all good inside.
7'32'23''AM: While I open the bathroom door, Keitaro stumbles and falls on me. We both end up on the floor. He is on top of me, with his hands on my bosom. This is awkward, but I have to admit, pissiness and embarrassment aside, it feels nice. I tease him a bit, telling him how he can't resist my sexy body. You know, sometimes I am just tempted to "go the distance" with him. But, since I am a "good friend" I'm supposed to think about Naru...
7'32'35''AM: I hear a familiar cry of "Pervert!!!" as Naru walks in on us and performs an air kick, sending Keitaro to the stars. The mathematical part of my brain, the one that is not fretting over the hangover and not trying to keep me from throwing up, calculated that this whole ordeal took a bit over 2 seconds. Must be a new record.
7'33AM: Naru goes on yapping about what a perverted imp Keitaro is, how I should be careful when I am around him, and gives me a lecture on giving up drinking. I zone her inane monologue out as my head is a mess and my bladder is in the red zone. Come on! Come on! Come on!
7'38AM: Naru finishes her speech. FINALLY! I rush into the bathroom and I finally reach it. Aaaaah! I feel like a queen sitting on the throne as I sigh with relief. After I am done, I pick up a couple of aspirins and gobble them up like they were candy. I chug them down with some water I drink directly from the tap and splash some on my face. My head starts to clear as the headache goes slowly away.
7'39AM: I briefly consider going to the kitchen in just my undies, but having minors and a guy in the dorm, I decide against it. I walk into my room and wear my trousers and shirt. Through the window, I notice Keitaro standing on the doorway...you know, I've always wondered how he manages to get back so fast after Naru sends him into orbit. This train of thought is derailed as my stomach protests for leaving it empty for so long. Patience, my pet, your hour is nigh!
7'41AM: Breakfast is served and we all eat. Mmm! It's delicious! I would like to compliment Shinobu, but Keitaro does it first, and it looks like it's more effective. He also tells her that she is getting more beautiful every day. I can see her blushing and smiling. I try my best to suppress a smirk, but I just can't do it. I just can't help but feel giggly when I see those two interact. Shinobu thinks that nobody notices she has a crush on Keitaro, and he's still the only one that hasn't figured it out yet.
7'42AM: I notice Naru cringing at Keitaro's compliment towards Shinobu. I can't resist a good tease, so I naturally ask her if she is jealous. Of course she denies the claim, says that Keitaro is nothing to her, that he is free to like who he wants blah, blah, blah. The whole speech goes on for five minutes. I eat as she goes on around her speech.
7'47AM: Naru goes to the kitchen to get some juice. The rest of the residents sigh in relief and resume eating. Naru's speeches about how bad Keitaro is are getting repetitive, and quite frankly, nobody really listens to them anymore.
7'48AM: Mutsumi enters the Kitchen. Since Keitaro, Naru and her are study buddies she seems to always be around nowadays. Somehow, I doubt this will lead to some hot and heavy action for Keitaro, as he is the type of person who wouldn't even get laid in a female prison laced with an aphrodisiac, but I can only hope... and video-tape if anything happens! She asks if there is she can have some watermelon. She collapses after 30 seconds. I can see where this is going.
7'49AM: Keitaro, being the nice guy (i.e. sucker) that he is rushes to her side, and checks for pulse and breathing. He notices she is not breathing so he says "DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!!!" and tries to perform mouth-to-mouth. Oh yes, I can definitely see how this is going to end.
7'50AM: Predictably, Naru walks in and witnesses the scene. I witness him go into orbit once more... Mutsumi wakes up at that exact moment and says that she was in a really nice place with bunnies and butterflies. We all shudder and continue eating.
7'52AM: Mutsumi joins us at the table and eats some of Shinobu's delights. Did she just say "needed some tongue" back then? Nah, must be my imagination...but I do wonder sometimes. Something tells me there is more to this girl than what meets the eye.
7'53AM: Keitaro returns bruised and with some watermelon in his arms. Apparently, he has landed outside a grocery store. He serves them to Mutsumi who gives him a kiss as a thank you. Yep, she is using tongue with this one. Shinobu starts crying and Naru punches Keitaro once more, leaving a large, man-shaped dent on the nearby wall. Sara-chan pokes his face to see if he is still alive. This is getting old...
7'54AM: Keitaro finally resumes eating as Motoko returns from morning training and joins us. She eats as slowly and politely as she can. Kaolla naturally doesn't eat, she devours. I would try to forget the sight of her eating asparagus along with bananas, but I have a suspicion this is one of those memories that sort of creep up on you. I mainly eat by opening up my mouth and putting everything I see inside it. My stomach is getting satisfied.
8'01AM: We finally finish eating. Keitaro helps Shinobu with the dishes, so that she can get to school on time. Sara belches loudly. Kaolla performs an even louder one as return. I think one of the windows breaks as a response. Sara tries to make an even louder one, but it's painfully obvious she just can't do it. She admits defeat and joins Kaolla as they go to her room, while she beams with pride. Naru and Mutsumi go upstairs to resume studying. I wonder where Motoko has gone as I crash onto the couch, ready for some serious slacking.
8'05AM: My inquiry about Motoko is answered as she quickly grabs me, ties me up to a pole and takes me outside. She says she needs me so that she can practice a few techniques. I protest to no avail.
8'06AM: I spend the next two hours trying not to pee in my pants as Motoko practices her "Ni-no-Tachi" Ki-attack on me. To her credit, and to my relief, she has gotten a lot better. WILL SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE?!?
10'07AM: Motoko finally unties me and heads for her high school's Kendo club, where she is giving lessons. I rush to the bathroom once more.
10'10AM: I notice Keitaro is heading to his room. This means that he is getting ready to change into his casual wear study with Mutsumi and Naru. Checking my pockets and finding them completely empty, I realize this is my last opportunity to milk some money out of him. Maybe even see him naked! Hey, he has seen my perfectly shaped body in the buff, right? It's only fair!
10'11AM: I open his door without knocking. To my disappointment, he is fully clothed. Oh, well... Time for the fox to go into action! I offer to help him carry his books. I deliberately rub myself against him with every book I pick up. I can see his face go red... This is too easy!
10'12AM: Putting my most seductive voice on, I ask him if he can give me some money for helping him. I run a finger up and down his chest, breathe into his ear, and rub my thigh against him. By looking down I can see this is really working. I am Sharon Stone, baby! No one can resist the fox!
10'14AM: Naru pokes her head down the hole and asks what's keeping him from coming up. She sees us, proceeds to beat Keitaro senseless, and carries him up to her room. Gee! Thanks for fucking up my scheme, bitch! All this work to get Keitaro worked up was for nothing! And you call yourself a "best friend"?!? I come up with a complicated plan to push her down the stairs later.
10'15AM: Plan aborted as I notice some yen on the floor. I consider my moral misgivings on theft and I realize I don't have any. I pick the yen off the floor. It's not much, but maybe I can get something more if I bet them on something.
10'16AM: I notice Keitaro's underwear drawer is open. Like many single guys, he doesn't bother ironing them. I wonder...
10'21AM: I've just spent five minutes sniffing Keitaro's underwear. I could smell nothing but green soap, which was a drag... How are you supposed to get turned on by green soap? This boy's way too clean for his own good.
10'22AM: I head into my room and try to work on my novel. I feel inspired today.
12'15PM: I am having a major case of writer's block. It's been two hours and all I could write was "It was a dark night in winter." Somehow, I get the feeling horror novels are not my thing. I was thinking about writing a book about our lives here, but who would buy a book about a guy occupying a girls' dorm? Probably no one...
12'26PM: Hot Spring time! I take off my clothes put on a towel and dip myself into the hot mineral water. I relax and let my problems go away. Naru and Mutsumi soon join me, taking a break from studying. We spend next few minutes doing some small talk.
12'37PM: I decide to tease Mutsumi and Naru about Keitaro. I ask Mutsumi what she thinks of Keitaro. She says that Keitaro is her little watermelon. This sends a freaky picture into my head. I ask her if this is because he is sweet and juicy. She replies that it's because he gets bashed like one. That girl certainly has a different train of thought. She then goes on to say how much she is in love with him. I can literally hear Naru's teeth grind.
12'38PM: Another lecture by Naru to Mutsumi about how she could do better than Keitaro, that he has no redeeming qualities, etc. You know, I would actually believe her if she didn't move her arms around like a spaz. I can see in her eyes that she really doesn't mean what she is saying. She is such a lousy liar! Take it from someone who does this all the time... You have to believe the lie before you say it. This way it comes out naturally.
12'41PM: Keitaro yells from nearby. Apparently he heard Naru's little lecture. She throws a bucket at him. Bullseye! She tells him to stop eavesdropping. They start arguing.
13'00PM: Having had enough of the Naru-Keitaro squabble, and seeing how my skin is turning into sponge, I step out of the bath and go to my room to dress up. It's time for me to go and make some money.
13'05PM: I catch the tram to go to town. I use the yen I found at Keitaro's room to buy a ticket. I have a feeling something good will happen.
13'08PM: Something good DOES happen. I have a groper! I use my make-up mirror to check him out. He is middle-aged, probably high-class. I patiently wait for him to try something again.
13'10PM: Bingo! The groper tries to grab my ass one more time! Big Mistake! I grab his arm and face him! I quietly tell him that a police officer is standing nearby, and that if he doesn't give me a certain amount of money I will yell at him and turn him into an instant News Celebrity Pervert! He is starting to sweat, and his eyes start to roll. I name my price: 10000 yen. Watching him gulp and turn red is very satisfying.
13'12PM: The groper gives me my money by pretending to do a handshake. He then sits quietly on his seat sulking. Apparently he is not feeling like doing more groping today. I almost feel sorry for him... Almost. Sorry old man, but a fox is a predator and it will bite if you get close enough.
13'20PM: I arrive at my destination, the horse-racing track. I feel lucky today! I bet the 10000 yen on Black Thunder. Statistically. he has a very good chance of winning.
13'25PM: I wait for the horse-race to start. I am holding my betting pool ticket tightly.
13'30PM: The race starts! I cheer and yell as the horses run! BLACK THUNDER IS IN THE LEAD! YES! I AM GOING TO BE RICH! YES! YES! YES! YEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!
13'40PM: NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Black Thunder fell just short of the finish line. 10000 yen has gone down the drain. I curse and yell as I exit the racetrack.
13'45PM: Having just lost all my money on the race-track, I decide to find an alternative way to earn some money. This blows.
13'53PM: I see the guy who won at the racetrack exit the betting pool. He is very smug. I have a sudden urge to punch him in the face and kicks his balls into orbit. I barely suppress my anger.
13'55PM: I realize I need to have a drink today. Unfortunately, my bar tab has reached its limits and my face is too well known around here. This means NO MONEY-NO DRINK. I consider my options. I could ask a guy to buy me drinks, but he will probably expect me to talk to him or worse. No, I have to get some money to buy my own drinks. I ask for god to send me a sign.
14'05PM: I see the sign... More specifically the "Adult Sex-Shop" sign on the outside of the sex-store. I walk inside and approach the salesman. He is a 30-something shriveled up guy who somehow reminds me of that Booger guy in "Revenge of the Nerds". I ask him how much he'll offer for my underwear.
14'06PM: The Booger-guy offers me 20000 yen for my underwear. I protest, saying that it's much lower than the standard. He replies that dirty underwear sales have gone down a lot lately. This shocks me and infuriates me. What is this country coming to? If there is something you can always count on in here it's the lewdness of middle-aged Japanese men. What's happening to our values, dammit?
14'07PM: I go to the changing room. I take off my mini-skirt, then take off my panties. I put my mini-skirt back on and head out. I give my underwear to the Booger-guy, who gives me 25000 yen. I ask him how come I get 25000 instead of 20000. He replies that the changing room has a hidden camera, and that I just made a good addition to his collection.
14'08PM: I quickly run out of the sex-store as I've just crashed the cash register onto the Booger-guy's head. Being recorded against my will is not something I tolerate, even though I like doing it to others. Still it was nice of him to give me 5000 extra yen. I guess I won't press any charges but it will be a time before I use that sex-shop again. I catch the tram back home to get some rest. Being a slacker is hard work.
14'35PM: Unfortunately, I reach Hinata without any groping incidents. This infuriates me. This is why I wore a mini-skirt in the first place. AND I am not wearing underwear anymore. Doesn't anyone appreciate true beauty anymore?
14'40PM: I put my money away and decide try to get some rest. I lie down on my futon.
14'43PM: I open my eyes widely as I listen to heavy panting and giggling coming from the next room. Could this be it? Has Keitaro actually gotten lucky? I get ready to tape the whole thing. As Naru's best friend it is my responsibility to oversee her sexual development, give her pointers and maybe join in the action sometime. Several lewd thoughts pass through my mind.
14'44PM: Major disappointment. Keitaro just spilt some hot tea on Naru and Mutsumi started giggling. Keitaro tries to wipe it and winds up fondling Naru's breast. I can see that a part of her actually likes this, but the other part of her soon prevails and gives Keitaro another iron punch. He hits Mutsumi on his way to the wall. They both lie unconscious next to each other. Naru becomes infuriated and storms out of the room. I decide to get back to rest.
14'45PM: Sleep overtakes me.
14'46PM: I am in a beach. I stand on a throne wearing a bikini, surrounded by good-looking men, while Keitaro blows air at my direction using a fan, eunich-slave style. The men are worshipping my god-like figure. They bow down to my charms, offering to buy me things, drinks included, and do anything I desire. A man offers me a sake collection, another one a billion dollars, all in exchange for a night with me.
15'03PM:As another multi-billionaire kneels down to offer me a mansion, a man on a horse steps on him. I look up to the man riding the horse and I see Seta. He gets down from his horse, stepping on the multibillionaire's body, and hugs me tightly. He tells me with a deep, sexy booming voice, that I am the only woman he loves. He takes his shirt off and I nearly drool as I watch him. I push my breasts against his chest and ask him to do to me what he has never done with a woman before. He throws me down on the sand and starts jumping on me...with both legs. OUCH! THIS HURTS! STOP IT!!!
15'08PM: I open my eyes to witness Kaolla Su jumping on me once more, screaming "LUNCH IS READY!" For some reason I get the urge to strangle her. I would try to jump on her for once and give her a taste of her own medicine, but Kaolla's sleeping habits are hazardous for your health. Only Motoko is capable of withstanding her.
15'13PM: I get down for lunch. Kaolla and Sara are already here and are waiting for the rest of the gang to come. I notice that Mizuho has joined us as well. She is a Tokyo-U student that has been tutoring Mutsumi, Naru and Keitaro so that they all pass the entrance exams. Apparently she is one of Granny Hina's acquaintances. I really don't know much about her other than she is very smart.
15'17PM: Naru, Mutsumi and Keitaro also join us. Keitaro and Mutsumi greet Mizuho with a big smile. Naru greets coldly and shakes her hand briefly. They both start glaring daggers at each other. I can literally hear thunder and lightning as their faces meet. Keitaro wisely decides to seat on the other side of the table away from harm's way.
15'23PM: Motoko returns from her Kendo club activities and joins us at the table. Her entrance causes Naru and Mizuho to break their mutual death-stares and greet her. Naru asks her how her day was. Motoko replies that it was typical. She really isn't much of a conversationalist.
15'25PM: Shinobu finishes serving the last of the food and joins us at the table.
15'26PM: Keitaro asks Mizuho how her day was. I tune her answer out as I am interested in neither Tokyo U or archeology. Keitaro listens quite intently though and I can see Naru fuming! Heheheh! This might be interesting.
15'46PM: In the 20 minutes that Mizuho spent talking about her day, I have finished the appetizer as well as the main course and I am moving towards desert. The food is great but the conversation is driving me nuts!
15'47PM: I ask Mizuho about the guys that are present in Tokyo-U. She replies that she doesn't really like the guys there as most are full of themselves and they rarely keep their promises. I can literally hear the italics! For some reason, I think she is trying to somebody a clue about something. Naru is watching intently, while Mutsumi seems to be, as always clueless.
15'48PM: The bomb finally drops. Naru says that Tokyo-U guys are not full of themselves, they just don't like a tomboy smart-ass. Mizuho replies that she must be talking from experience. I can see the veins pop in Naru's forehead. I can see Keitaro getting ready to get under the table.
15'50PM: Mutsumi defuses the situation by fainting, which causes Naru, Mizuho and Keitaro to rush by her side. Keitaro starts giving mouth-to-mouth to Mutsumi and revives her. Mizuho and Naru look away from each other.
16'05PM: Mutsumi, Naru, Keitaro and Mizuho, go upstairs to Naru's room for yet another studying session. Kaolla and Sara go to their room and play. Having nothing better to do, I head to the Hinata Teahouse.
16'15PM: Haruka is not so busy today and we start talking to each other. I ask her how Seta is doing. She tells me that the idiot is on another expedition. He is apparently OK, but not for long, as soon as she get her hands on him. I have a feeling that Haruka's relationship with Seta is on the same level as Naru's and Keitaro's. I decide not to probe the subject further and instead talk about generic stuff.
16'23PM: Kentaro walks in and serves me some tea. He smiles at me and tells me I look beautiful. I would blush at this compliment if I didn't know he gave it to all the female customers.
16'35PM: I notice that the teahouse is short on ramen and I decide to do a small prank, since I am still in my mini-skirt, without any underwear. I cross my legs and let him see me. I tell him that to wait for me inside the teahouse's storage room.
16'40PM: I ask Haruka for some ramen. She tells me to wait for a minute as she has to go to the Storage room to get some. I walk out of the teahouse as she heads inside.
16'43PM: As predicted, all hell breaks loose. Haruka is punching Kentaro into submission as he screams for mercy.
16'44PM: It occurs to me that I while I find this whole thing funny, It will probably not be a good idea to stick around and watch the fireworks, especially if Kentaro decides to tell Haruka everything that happened. I decide to walk out of the teahouse as Haruka is reaching for a katana.
17'02PM: As soon as I walk inside the Hinata, I come across a frantic Shinobu. Something tells me it's time for another "Shinobu Crisis". She explains the situation to me: Her mom decided to drop by, along with the school counselor, because her grades are slipping. Naturally she is very distraught. I decide to help her out, since she is young, sweet and innocent, not to mention the only one of us that can cook.
20'07PM: The past few hours were unbelievable. Trying to convince someone that Hinata is good place to live is like trying to convince someone to take a vacation in Iraq. I don't think the counselor will bother us soon, since he decided to get himself committed to a mental institution. Apparently, after witnessing first-hand a flying landlord, a flying turtle, ki-attacks and a giant cockroach, he reached the conclusion that he lost it. As for Shinobu's mom she decided to let Shinobu stay as long as Keitaro is the landlord... It's a long story...
20'26PM: With another crisis averted, all of us girls decide to head to the hot spring. For some reason, Naru and Mizuho seem to get along better. Shinobu is telling us all about how "her Sempai" saved her and her mother from the mecha-godzilla's stomach. Motoko is forced to admit that Keitaro may not be as bad a person as she thinks she is. I relax and stretch.
20'34PM: There is a loud explosion. Keitaro lands once more in the hot spring. Come on... do I really have to tell you what happens after that? Honestly, though, this whole thing is getting repetitive to the point of stupid. When will Naru and Motoko finally realize that men aren't supposed to be hit? They are supposed to be exploited, ridiculed and used to satisfy our carnal desires, dammit!
21'18PM: Having relaxed, engaged into small-talk and absorbed lots of water inside our skin, me and the girls decide to head out and dress. We head into the dressing room and start putting on our clothes. Motoko and Naru are psyching themselves up in case Keitaro walks in. Sadly this is not the case today. I nick a banana from the kitchen on the way to my room.
21'27PM: I begin dressing up for a night out. Since I have a bit of money on me, and I'll probably not need anyone to buy me drinks I put on something modest. Modest as in "I-show-off-cleavage-and-you-can-see-my-butt's-outline-clearly-but-my-panties-are-well-hidden-and-this-dress-is-classy-so-don't-you-dare-think-I-am-a-slut" modest. I put on some lipstick and comb my hair. I usually don't wear make-up, it makes me feel old. I pack a banana in my bag just in case.
21'36PM: I am getting ready to head out of the door when I bump into Kaolla and her newest invention, a resizing machine. She grips me tightly and pushes me towards it! Having no intention of playing in Hinata-sou's version of "Honey, I shrunk the fox" and having a prepared just for this, I throw the packed banana. Kaolla lets go of me and I make a run for the door!
21'37PM: I am at the tram-station, having just broke the 400m dash world record. I wheeze and pant as I wait for the tram. People are looking at me.
21'45PM: The tram finally arrives and I step inside. I wonder if any gropers will try their luck. I certainly hope so... I could use the extra cash.
22'00PM: The tram arrives into town and I step outside fuming. No gropers again! I need a drink.
22'01PM: I step inside the nearest drinking joint I can find. There is a karaoke contest going on. The singing reminds me of cats fighting in the middle of the night. Pretty much everyone here sucks. I decide to head out.
22'02PM: I see a sign saying "Happy Nite! All Drinks Half-Price!". I decide to stay.
22'03PM: I head for the bar and order some sake. I wait for the bartender to bring me some.
22'05PM: A guy is standing next to me. He is looking at me like he wants to run his tongue all over me. Since, he looks like something I scrapped off my shoe I prepare myself to gun him down.
22'06PM: The inevitable happens.
Him: Hallo Gorgeous! Have they ever told you that you look like a fox?
Very Original....
Me: Have they ever told you that you look like crap?
He walks away... I think he got the message.
22'08PM: It's been five minutes and the drinks haven't arrived. This infuriates me. I scream "HEY BARKEEP! ARE THERE BONES INSIDE THE SAKE? WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG!". The bartender arrives with a bottle of sake. He starts pouring and gets ready to leave. I tell him to leave the bottle. I drink a glass and pour myself another.
23'08PM: I've spent the past hour drinking. I start to feel dizzy.
23'09PM: A man sits right next to me. I start to get a warm feeling in my stomach just by looking at him. Maybe it's love. Or maybe it's the four sakes, five margaritas, and three tequila shots. At this point I don't know. He tells me I look like a fox. Since he is much better looking than the last guy, I decide to be nice to him.
23'29PM: The guy has spent a full 20 minutes talking about himself. I am getting bored. I tell him to shut up and kiss me.
23'31PM: Me and the guy are making out. Things are getting pretty heated. Suddenly he stops and asks me who Seta is. I reply "Nobody" and resume making out.
23'32PM: He stops again. The name "Seta" slipped once more. I make up an excuse and resume making out.
23'34PM: I say the name "Seta" once more. He gets fed up and leaves. What an idiot!
23'36PM: I see a guy with long hair and a gorgeous body. I walk closer, I kiss him on the lips, and ask him his name. He tells me that HER name is Tomoko, that she is very flattered but she doesn't swing that way. Apparently I am drunker than I thought.
23'41PM: I bump into something warm and soft. I feels like a hot rubber ball.
23'42PM: I look up and see a building with hair. I think I bumped into a sumo wrestler. For some reason I find him very attractive. Ain't alcohol great?
23'53PM: Actually this sumo guy ain't bad. His name is Yaguro Maru and he originates from Greece. He originally came to Japan to draw comics but he had to get into sumo to make ends meet. He tells me he is drunk and that he always does stupid things when he is drunk. Strike up the jackpot! We have a winner.
23'56PM: We order more drinks by grunting. We go shot-to-shot for tequila. It does not go down well.
00'02AM: My stomach is very angry with me. I can feel the vomit coming. I ignore this, as I have a huge hunk I want to make mine.
00'06AM: I puke on the sumo-guy's leg. I look up at him. He is a disgusted. I tell him that he should feel honoured. After all I shared my meal with him. He is not amused. He leaves... Damn!
00'14AM: I decide to sing a song at the Karaoke. I feel like Madonna. I pick "Like a Virgin". I sing my heart out.
00'16AM: I am not doing a good job singing. The audience boos. I tell them to "Kish my fugging ash". My last clear memory.
07'23AM: I wake up much to my dismay. Geez! Did last night really happen? I feel like I got run over by a train. I can literally feel my veins pop as they try to rush blood into my brain. The mother of all hangovers is upon me and I pray for the day when somebody perfects a head transplant. I slowly and painfully open my eyes.
OMAKE: Interview with Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno
Petran: Hallo, boys and girls. In every chapter we are going to feature an interview with the character whose point of view we just got to see. The interviews mainly cover differences between the manga and the anime, general character questions, as well as several questions raised from plot inconsistencies, mishaps...well, you get the picture... Today, we have with us one of the most underused characters in anime and manga history... Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno... Welcome!
Kitsune: Blow it out yer ass!
Petran: (Moves in closer and smells the air) You're drunk!
Kitsune: Shuddup! You ain't the boss of me! I am a fictional character, I can do whatever the hell I want! What's it to you?
Petran: I told you not to show up drunk! This is not that kind of place!
Kitsune: (Looks around) Allow me to correct you. This is exactly that kind of place. There are several Love Hina and Negima volumes or the floor. And what is this Rei Ayanami poster doing in your bedroom wall?And what exactly are we doing inside your bedroom anyway? Are you planning on doing something weird to me later on?
Petran: Uhmm. You aren't supposed to tell everyone this interview is being done in my bedroom. The readers are supposed to think the interview's being done on some mystical place somewhere.
Kitsune: It is mystical, in a way, I guess. I bet no woman has ever laid here, let alone stepped inside.
Petran: Err... Let's get along with the interview, shall we?
Kitsune: Whatever.
Petran: You are known as one of Love Hina's most underused characters. In fact creator Ken Akamatsu apologised officially for not doing any hot scenes for you. How do you feel about this?
Kitsune: How do I feel about this? How do you think? It blows! Naru, Shinobu, Motoko, Mutsumi, Kaolla, even Tama-chan were in the spotlight, and all I got to do was stand, tease, drink and look cheesed off. Honestly, I was seriously thinking of moving out and starting my own series.
Petran: Why didn't you?
Kitsune: After I saw what kind of movies Jennifer Anniston made on her own, I somehow reached the conclusion that going solo is not such a good idea.
Petran: Point taken. You seemed to have a much more important part in the anime than you did in the manga. In fact your character was much better developed in the anime. Why exactly is that?
Kitsune: Akamatsu created me so that I can keep the story going on a good pace. Since, there were all kinds of plot twists to do that in the anime, my part had to be revised or excluded completely. So I did what any other person in my shoes would do...
Petran: Which is...
Kitsune: I slept with the director...
Petran: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold the phone! You are a fictional character. How could you exactly sleep with the director?
Kitsune: Do you really want me to elaborate on that? All it took was a projector, some vaseline and...
Petran: OK, I get the picture, enough! Next question. In the anime you clearly had feelings for Seta. In the manga however your affections were directed at Keitaro. Which one do you prefer?
Kitsune: What kind of question is this? Is this the dating game? Ask me something else!
Petran: OK, favourite movies?
Kitsune: Anything with naked good-looking guys.
Petran: Favourite manga?
Kitsune: Anything with naked good-looking guys. Would you like to know my favourite group? Or foodstuff?
Petran: No, thank you. You originate from Osaka. In fact it's been said that your character is a stereotype that reflects Japanese people's perception of people from Osaka.
Kitsune: Who are you calling a stereotype, you poster-boy for virgin, drooling otakus?
Petran: Don't shoot the messenger! All I am asking is... are people from Osaka really like you?
Kitsune: What's this supposed to mean? Are you trying to tell me something? (Gets ready to swing a bottle of sake at Petran)
Petran: (Whimpering) Nothing! Two more questions!
Kitsune: Let's get this over with, the smell of your socks is getting to me.
Petran: Err... You never hit anyone in the anime. In volume 8 of the manga however you hit Keitaro and Kaolla with a fan. What made you turn violent, even for a short amount of time?
Kitsune: The idiocy of the people involved required the use of violence. Motoko and Naru were not present, so I had to take up the mantle.
Petran: Finally, what are your plans for the future?
Kitsune: Well, since the manga and the anime are over, and I have no deals signed I am probably going to take care of the Hinata Tea House, and get drunk on a daily basis.
Petran: I wish you the best of luck. Take care!
Kitsune: Yeah, whatever. I'll go for a drink... My liver is evil and I must punish it!
Petran: That's all for now. The next chapter will feature a day in the life of Hinata's resident swordwoman, Motoko Aoyama. I may feature some characters from Negima since some characters in there practise it as well. By the way, if you want to ask Motoko any questions in the Omake of the next chapter, when I interview her, be sure to send them to me!
Be sure to R'n'R, otherwise several creatures in black will come from above and suck the will to write out of me. Constructive criticism is fine, but flamers will be met with swift and severe punishment. Special thanks to Kamui Archetype for proofreading this (by the way, if you haven't read his excellent Love Hina/Negima fanfic "A little bit of magic", do so now). Any mistakes here are mine, not his.
