A/N—Please flame me for writing this horrible story, and understand that I will continue adding chapters.
Ron Stoppable, wannabe pimp, was prowling through the hallways of Middleton High.
"I'll catch you later, baby," he said to a passing stranger who gave him a disgusted look.
"Uh, Ron, that was a guy," said his best friend Kim Possible.
"No way KP, she was wearing a skirt."
"First of all, that was a kilt. Second of all, it's Scottish day. Third of all, did you even see his face? That's Brick Flagg."
"WHAT?! Well, those legs did look pretty hairy. Anyway, the Ron-man can't just stand here idly; he's got some pimping to do." Kim groaned.
"Ron, you aren't wearing pants."
"What, haha, you almost had me you crazy bitch. Haha, HA—WHA?! THERE'S NO WAY I'M THAT SMALL!" he said, pointing to an extension on his body.
"Ron, you're pointing to your pinky."
"Shut up ho; stay in your damn place," he said, slapping the person standing next to him.
"STOPPABLE!" It was Mr. Barkin's voice.
"Oh shit," Ron muttered to himself, realizing that he had slapped Mr. Barkin right across the face. "Um, nice weather we're having?" Barkin just glared. "This shizzle ain't gonna work on you is it bro?"
"BRO? Hey, everyone, Stoppable called me bro. How about that. SOUL POWER ALL THE WAY!" said Mr. Barkin, running through the hallways and yelling 'black power.'
"Anyway, KP, I was wondering…"
"Yes?" Kim asked flirtingly, expecting Ron to finally ask her out.
"Do you want to, I dunno…"
"Go on…"
"Film me and Bonnie having sex?" Kim would have slapped Ron, if she didn't feel a wave of tingly feelings crawl through her body. Unfortunately, those waves were caused by radiation from Shego's gloves, but she didn't know that.
"RONALD STOPPABLE, YOU STUPID, INSENSITIVE JERK! You could have at least asked if I wanted to join."
"Kim, you're hairless."
"Well, maybe I will be tonight," she said seductively. "Right now I'm just trimmed."
"No, KP, you're hairless, as in you have no hair. As in you're bald." True enough, the effects of radiation had finally taken hold, causing all of her hair to fall off.
Meanwhile
"Shego, I'm really sensitive and I want to talk about our feelings for each other."
"Pour out your soul to me, Trix Rabbit."
"Well, it's those snotty little childish bastards. They won't let me eat Trix. Every time I get a fucking box those little wieners whine to the producers."
Back to the Incoherent Plot
"So, um, this is my first time, and I really don't know what to do."
"Well Ron, watch me. I'll grab your stick like this, and then I'll press the B button."
"Wow, so that's how you make Mario jump forward!"
A/N—This story is by no means a reflection of my beliefs in any way, shape, or form. This story is attempted humor; flame me for it!
