PART TWO **Okay, I have to put this at the top......JACK has FINALLY made it into the story!**
***************YES, a new section is FINALLY UP!!******************************
Oooooooooooo!!! Another section of chaos......bring on the WARNINGS!!!! I plan on having a
GREAT time with this.....oh yeah, all you peoples that want to be in this, need to send me what
you want to do. I plan on getting to Jack in this section.......and I have only one thing to say....
*************************************************************************
WARNING: Drinking Rum is bad for your health.........
**Jack better be glad that Jason isn't around, YET!!!! He's in the story, as I mentioned earlier.
He thinks that drinking is bad for your health.....so he kills you for it.**
*************************************************************************
Alright, there's a few things that I forgot to mention....I told you I would. Somewhere in this
spoof/story I will be bringing in at least one dead person that we have to bring to life. Anyway,
the definite one is "Nancy Thompson" Anyone who has seen "A Nightmare on Elm Street"
**the first one* or "A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Warriors" Should know WHO
she is. She was killed by Freddy at the end of The Dream Warriors. We're bringing her back....
and (evil grin) someone *coughdrusillacough* might push them into a love spring..or rather just
her and make Freddy the first male she sees.....**Why not? Drusilla pushed Jason in and dived
in with him. Oh yeah, Jason and Drusilla Voorhees have a son, his name is "William Angelus
Voorhees" **Cassi's idea, and it's a good one**
Speaking of Cassi, she's up in her new room sleeping....she couldn't sleep last night, so she was
exhausted by the time we left the Christmas dinner.....so she's sleeping.....(maybe, she does get
insomnia) !@#: Cassi was not sleeping, she was laying down. For the record, I got to sleep at
about 8:30 9:0) area....um AM, not PM. Christmas morning I went to sleep at 9am, and got up at
noon, then went to bed at 8:30 the next morning.....and I REALLY hope they bring my sleeping
pills home tomorrow!!! I ran out. On Christmas, it was Ireyna's fault I didn't sleep. I had to help her
learn to use the sewing machine....at 5 in the morning. And if anyone mentions "Sewing Machine"
I'm shooting them...and it. Ireyna doesn't follow directions well. I left four hours later.!@#
Wait, again I've forgotten something. The other two dead people I will be bringing in....I don't
know whether they'll make it in this one. Anyway, they are Linderman and Kia from "Freddy VS
Jason" I had to get those two together....so we brought them back...or rather we WILL be
bringing them back.....sooner or later.
Hmmmm.....I guess I can try to continue. Ugh, pain pill has STILL not kicked in!! EVIL pill!!
Alright, where were we? Oh yes, Freddy wanted to know what was going on. But FIRST!!!
**********************************************************************
RANDOM INSANITY BREAK# I know this is annoying. **Don't you just love my numbers?*
Alright--I'm going to give you a few "Horror-Scopes" compiled by the editors and writers of
"Mad"
ARIES (The Ram....who likes to ram things, stay away from him)--Aries is the sign of the
LEADER. You take command in any situation, and should anyone contest your claim to
authority, you will apply tact, diplomacy, and sensitivity as you step on his face. While
some might consider your intolerance, arrogance, and impatience as negative traits, you're
fully aware that the time you save completing other peoples statements for them can be put
to better use than having to sit through their worthless prattle, qualities well-suited for success
as a: 1-History maker 2-Presidential Hopeful 3-Eunuch.
In the first group, certainly Thomas Jefferson, Khrushchev, Charlemane, Otto Von Bismark.....
(hmmmmm....actually I know another Otto who acts similar......Dr. Otto Octavius "Doc Ock")
and Hugh Hefner listed right at the top.!@#: Will Turner.....cougheunuchcough..(grin)!@#
While Eunuchs seem to be fairly uncommon of late, failure to mention Sergio,
"I-Couldn't-Care-less" Aragones who has guarded some of the most celebrated harems in the
world, from Sheik Abdul Ben Kayak **I bet he got made fun of in school** to Hugh Hefner,
would render this category impotent.
**Another note--My comments on "Doc Ocks" attitude....he loves to talk about how much
of a genius he is................................I'm not kidding! I don't know what the MOVIE one will
do, but I do know the comic book one.....REALLY well.....Spidey was my favorite comic book.
So needless to say, I know quite a bit about his villians....especially those tied in with the
Sinister Six...(Doc Ock is usually the leader of that group) Anyway, thought I'd explain my
comment.**
THIS CONCLUDES THIS LATEST INSANITY BREAK
**********************************************************************
**Aren't we SOOO consistant....we ended the last section with one of these and now we're
starting the next section with one.**
**********************************************************************
**loud yawn.....uh-oh...something tells me that I will not be up much longer....only got about
three or four hours of sleep and I might be going with my mom to see Dr Watson (um...he's
a friend of ours from church, and since our mom is having a problem with her ankles and she
can't get to our normal doctor (as he is out of town until AFTER Christmas) Anyway, she's
going in to see him. Oh right, you STILL want me to start this section....ummmmm....not very
much if I try. As I said, I'm gonna crash soon.**
**********************************************************************
GUESS WHAT?!: It's Christmas Eve......and I STILL haven't typed anything........I'm sure
you could see that coming....well SORRY. I have things to do....like uh...go move heavy stuff..
yeah, that's it.....
**I'm actually serious....anyway, that's all for now**
December 27th....Four O'Clock in the morning.........just one comment.....Two Towers Extended
version....it's almost four hours long.....
I'm spoofing the extended one....that was quite amusing....not only that, but we're
bringing in Faramir, Eomer, that blond chick, a few more weirdos and of course TWO that
we're bringing back from the dead...........Boromir (you had to know that one was coming) and
Hal.....er Haldir....Cassi likes him and was pissed because they killed him. He's the elf from
"Loth---whatever" that wasn't wearing a helmet.....why do the commanders not where helmets?
Anyway, he's coming back. Cassi will be calling him "Hal" so get used to it. Anyway, this has
nothing to do with spoof....why is it in here? You ask.....well I had to tell you that I wasn't gonna
type tonight....sorry...but I don't want to be up till the sun starts rising..it is actually almost FIVE!
I'm gonna go to bed......maybe I'll type to-- I mean later today, after I've had a few hours sleep.
************************************************************************
**Note to self.......stop looking things up online, when there are stories to be typed!**
**HEY! I got a really good mugshot of Riddick....with the silver eyes showing!!**
************************************************************************
Dec. 29. (what?!) I will try to type in this soon....but I have to do another one right now. I have
a REALLY bad headache and had to push down dinner....cuz (yes, I know it is spelled wrong!)
if I didn't eat it, I would have made our mom mad and she wouldn't have eaten....get the picture....
anyway, I also have to do dishes after dinner...so I'll be leaving for that too. I will type in this
one when the painpills kick in....look at it this way, I type better when that happens....no pain!
So I WILL have something typed tonight........*SOMETHING* see......(ducks flying objects...)
KIDDING!!!! See, I'm in a good mood already....well I'm laughing....ugh...food didn't set so well.
Arg.....puckernuts!.....oh right.....you don't understand that.....it's a common curse in the Elf Quest
books....hehehehe...I got a whole bunch for Christmas!!!! Anyway, I'll get typing after I do the
dishes and finish a little in another story......Becca remember the Animal Girl? The one on set
was Krissy or Krissica if want the whole name....her mother Lissa or Lissandale is the one in
the Iris story. The one I've been doing a little rough draft typing is....."The Story of Lissandale"
I'll get to this one.
It is now three o'clock in the morning.....now I'm typing a little........I found more pictures.....a
really good one of Ardeth Bay.....anyway, where were we? Oh right, Freddy wanted to know
what was going on.....
Alright, more to add.......I have a few more that are DEFINETLY going to be in this......
J. Jonah Jameson, Spidey, Carnage, Doom, Jeffery, Mohawk, Stripe & a bunch more, I just
wanted to mention those ones. I also have another...but he comes in, in this section so wait
and see.
**Considering the name of this spoof the chapter title shouldn't phaze you.**
************************************************************************
CHAPTER TWO: I CAN'T THINK OF A TITLE FOR THIS SECTION--I GUESS THIS WORKS
************************************************************************
Freddy gave the entire room an impatient look......"Now what's going on?" He demanded.
Lucy glared. "None of your business!" She snapped.
"She's still mad because you killed Johnny Depp." Cassi informed him.
"Nancy's boyfriend?" He questioned.
"Yep." Sven answered.
"Does he REALLY have to be here?" Lucy wanted to know.
Cassi and Sven exchanged an evil grin.
"YES!" Sven exclaimed, slyly.
Freddy eyed them again. "Now, I'm getting worried." He mused.
Romano glanced at the Authors and grinned, realizing what they were thinking. They intended
to turn Freddy into a child.
Chris laughed. "That's why they're called the EVIL Authors. They want you to be paranoid.
They're great at messing with other peoples minds." He retorted.
Lucy also eyed the Authors. "What are you two planing?" She demanded.
Across the room, Becca was snickering.
Cassi smiled. "We're doing what we do best. Anything and everything that is tied in with
insanity!!" She proclaimed.
Sven smirked. "Besides....Jason's coming."
"I've changed my mind, I want nothing to do with this!" Freddy cut in. !@#: Freddy isn't really
afraid of Jason, he just doesn't want to fight with him right now....and he does not yet have his
talent...see ER VS the Breaktime Temper Tantrum.!@#
"Too late!" Romano shot back. "Now you're stuck! Besides, you're not AFRAID of him are you?"
Freddy stuck his lip out. "Of course not!!" He made another face. "I'm coming."
"What are we going to call this "Adventure?" Lizzie questioned, sounding curious.
"We'll consider a "More Interesting Title Later." Cassi answered, giving an amused look.
**As you know the title, I'm sure you find this funny**
"What exactly are we doing?" Freddy asked.
Dor grinned. "We're turning a bunch of pirates into five year olds." He replied.
"Not just the pirates!" Chris cut in. "There's a few others, even some of us.......like me."
Freddy stared at him. "You actually WANT to be changed into a five year old?"
Chris grinned again. "YES!! I saw how much fun the people at County General had! I want my
chance!"
************************************************************************
WARNING: Anvils can fall from the sky at any time!! So keep your eyes open!! You never
know when one might land on you.
************************************************************************
"Can I come?" Asked Jameson from the door. "I need a break.......besides my office is being
repaired after the last Super Villian fight that took place in it."
Romano raised an eyebrow. "Do your employees get combat pay?" He asked Jameson.
Jameson made a face, but didn't answer.
Sven shrugged. "Sure, just make sure the "Web-head" shows up. Maybe we can turn HIM
five!" She suggested, slyly.
Jameson gave a horrified look. "NO NOT THAT!!!! THAT would give me NIGHTMARES!!"
He cried.
"I'll keep that in mind......" Freddy muttered.
"Aw! It would have been funny. Can you imagine the readers of the Daily Bugle seeing a
picture of Spidey as a child? You'd sell out every copy." Sven told him.
Jameson grinned. "REALLY? I can publish any pictures I get?" He demanded.
Sven and Cassi nod and grin.
"Good, make sure you get Dr Doom, too!" Jameson retorted.
Sven considered that suggestion. "Hmmmm.....mini Doom....I wonder how much money we
could make selling that video to the Fantastic Four."
Jameson grinned. **Which is a strange and horrifying thought...See...he can crack a smile**
"That sounds wonderful!"
Cassi shook her head. "This should be amusing."
"When are we leaving?" Becca wanted to know. "I want to see Captain Jack again."
**************************************************************************
FUNFACT: New Year's Eve! Cassi now has sleeping pills! I got them last night! This means I
can sleep now! Ehhh, but not tonight. Tonight is for fireworks. ^_^ I'm still a pyro.
Now back to our story. --Cassi
**************************************************************************
Sven moved over to Cassi and whispered something...Romano, being close enough, heard what
was said.
"Wait till Jolly Jameson finds out we're bringing in the movie Spidey...then he'll have to deal with
TWO of them." Sven retorted, quietly.
Cassi snickered. "That should be a sight." She whispered back.
Romano shook his head in amusement.
"When are we leaving?" Becca demanded, again.
"Soon." Sven answered, and yawned. "Maybe after a nap.........."
Lucy glared. "NO!! We have to do it NOW!!! Because I'm bored." She insisted.
"You don't look like a board." A chair stated. "Boards are flat and boring."
Romano made a face at the pun. Sometimes Dor's talent could be annoying.
Dor caught his look and winced. "Sorry." He remarked apologetically.
"Let's get this thing started." Cassi announced heading for the door, with Sven right behind her.
"We have some partying to do!"
**************************************************************************
No this is NOT the end of the section......this is umm......an Insanity Break...yeah that's it! Here
a brief paragraph from the Journal of Peter Parker/Spiderman (this is from the Movie tie-in from
the movie version...got that. It's Peter's opinion of Jameson telling him he would send him
Christmas Meat)
"Christmas meat. There's something to live for. Knowing him, he'll wait until it's on sale for half
price, like during Easter (eeww) It'll be delivered in a hazardous waste container. (double eeww)"
**For Reference--The book was written by Peter David. This particular bit was taken from page
202....the end of the 16th Chapter.**
END THIS INSANITY BREAK **Now, I'm going to bed......BEFORE FOUR in the morning........
IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!**
*************************************************************************
!@#: Cassi reads through this thing....Sven, you should call this section "Author's Comments"
I think there's more Author's notes than there is story.....um, right sorry we have to leave now.
(grins) We're off to get a video from Jeff.....It's MacGyver/Halloween Knights....we hope.!@#
**Yeah, I know....but there were things that HAD to be mentioned. Don't worry, I cut out a
few sections of notes. The rest have quite a bit of stuff that you readers really need to know!**
!@#: New note....(grins) We have Halloween Knights!! (does a happy dance) Um, right, yes
Becca and Amanda, we WILL copy it for you.....when we get there...**To all deprived people
who don't know what this is, it's the best MacGyver/Murdoc episode there was! Mac carries
Murdoc piggyback over big pit of snakes...while Murdoc freaks out**
*************************************************************************
**Alright, now where am I going next?.....Hmmmmmm....this is why I haven't gotten this section
up yet. Ugh.....Reyna is in the room...being her annoying self...oh good. She left! ARG!!!!!!
She came back and HAD to have something...so I had to dump everything on the dresser onto
the floor for her and NOW I have a REALLY BAD HEADACHE!!!!!!! Don't know how much
I can type at the moment!**Look....another note...blame Reyna...(insert REALLY bad word)**
Pain pill just kicked in....and it's almost two in the morning.....have no fear.....I've been staying
up late a lot....I've become a night owl...not only that, but I fell asleep this afternoon and didn't
wake up as early as I planed. I'm not tired....and I know where to go next! To.........JACK!!! ^_^
*************************************************************************
MEANWHILE SOMEWHERE IN THE CARIBBEAN........
Jack Sparrow gazed out at the ocean and was thinking about Lucy. Perhaps he should have
brought her. He was always thinking about her lately. Which was strange, considering how
their first meeting had gone. Lucy had leaped into his arms and asked him to marry her.
**See Chameleon....the spoof...not the supervillian**
Jack smiled and shook his head. Lucy was quite an interesting woman. He had enjoyed
sacking Chicago with her during the last breaktime spoof.
**See Jeffery...the story...not the spider**
"Wha' are ye so amused abou'?" AnaMaria questioned, walking up beside him.
"Jus' thinkin' abou' Lucy." He replied, with a sheepish look.
AnaMaria laughed. "Why didn' ye bring 'er along?" She asked.
Jack sighed and made a face. "Because I couldn' bring Nicky." He admitted.
AnaMaria shook her head. "I luv tha' kid. He an' 'is family are fun ta be around." She retorted,
with a wide grin. "All of those kids would make GREA' pirates! If we brough' in them all, we'd
'ave a bigger crew. It would be grea'!"
**Ooooo....beware....the "Pike Pirates!"**
"Aye, some of the songs they sing......"Jack chuckled. "If only we ha' more crew members tha'
were like tha'." !@#"Underware, underware, oh how I itch in my wooly underware"....yes, I'm
serious!@#
"Ya mean more "childish" crew members?" AnaMaria wanted to know, sounding amused.
Jack nodded. "Aye. I' would be fun." He agreed.
"Careful wha' ye wish fer......" AnaMaria warned. "Them SpoofAuthors may answer i' for ya."
Jack winced. "Aye, they would. Oi saw the video from Coun'y General, when they turned every-
one inta children. Although, Romano sure made i' look fun." He mused, thoughtfully.
AnaMaria nodded. "Aye, tha' 'e did. Bu' we're on a ship....there aren' very many people ta mess
around with."
**(imitates Bugs Bunny)They don' know us very well, do they?**
Jack made a face. "There's tha'. Too bad really. I' would 'ave been fun."
"Don' le' Gibbs, or anyone else 'ear tha'. Gibbs doesn' care for the magic we've been gettin'
from the Spoofse'." AnaMaria replied. "Tha' could ge' ya another mutiny."
Jack shrugged. "I don' think i' works ou' 'ere, anyway. We 'ave ta be in Xanth or Spoofse'
zone for tha'." He told her. "I think."
AnaMaria sighed and headed back to the wheel. "Well, enjoy yer though's of Lucy, i' may
be awhoile before ya see 'er again."
Jack just shook his head and stared back out into the ocean, wondering what the EvilAuthors
were doing. Could they be planning something? They had willingly given his crew back, without
any questions. In fact they seemed to be quite eager about it. It wouldn't surprise him, if they
could find a way to torture his crew. But then.........maybe that would bring Lucy. He frowned, and
shook the thoughts from his head. This was ridiculas! The EvilAuthors wouldn't go to that sort
of trouble, just to have a little fun.
**************************************************************************
And of course, what Jack didn't know, is....we will go to ANY trouble just to "have a little fun"
So...he would finally get to see his crew act as he had considered.......ANNND....due to a snap of
fingers, there were already cameras filming everything that was going on, on the Black Pearl.....
**************************************************************************
MEANWHILE....IN PORT ROYAL
Langly and his crew, Byers, Frohike, Yves, and Jimmy Bond, were setting up the strange looking
cameras, that Lucy had created to work with no electricity. They looked like beautiful decorations.
So far they hadn't had any trouble. No one had stopped to ask what they were doing. They had
walked past, barely glancing at the group.
A few hours passed before anyone came to investigate. **Which really makes us wonder about
the British Navy**
"What exactly are you doing?" Asked a man who had to be in his mid to late thirties. He wore a
fancy uniform with a white wig and a fancy hat which made him look kinda like an "eyescream" cone
to Langly. Or rather the mundane version.....icecream.......The Xanth version being VERY noisy.
**No joke, people. This is fact!**
"We, Sir, were hired to beautify Port Royal." Langly answered, grandly. He was enjoying this
acting.....perhaps he'd get an Oscar.
The man frowned. "Who hired you?" He demanded, looking very annoyed.
Langly shrugged. "Don't know. Our boss would be the one to talk to." He replied. This guy
really needed to lighten up. He was acting like a dork.
"And what is his name?" The Human Icecream cone asked. **Sven falls out of chair laughing**
"John Carter, Sir." Langly answered, promptly. "DOCTOR John Carter."
"And where is he?"
"He's in Port Royal with his friend Ardeth Bay. Don't know where, said they wanted to see some
of the sights." Langly told him. "If I see him, who shall I say is looking for him?"
The Human Icecream Cone sighed. "I'm Commodore James Norrington." The man answered.
Langly held back the laughter, remembering what the Evil Authors had called this guy. Of course
that was the least of it. This was one of the ones they wanted to drive stark-raving mad. "Pleasure
to meet you, Commodore." He managed to get out.
Norrington nodded. "I think I'll be looking for this "doctor" of yours. What does he look like?"
"Dark skin, tatoos, black robes, long hair..... His friend Ardeth has a similar appearence." Langly
replied.
Norrington frowned again. "Is he a pirate?" He demanded.
Jimmy rolled his eyes. "He's a DOCTOR!!!" He retorted. "DUH! Langly just said that!"
Langly burst out laughing, and covered Jimmy's mouth "NO!!! Of course he's not a pirate, only if
he's acting and he's not. No, he comes from Egypt. They're Med-Jai." He informed him. "They're
desert men."
"Alright, he shouldn't be too hard to find. But I warn you, if I get any trouble from any of you,
you'll be locked up." Norrington promised, before walking away.
"He looks like an icecream cone." Frohike stated, making a face.
Jimmy stared after him. "I dunno....he didn't scream much......"
Byers gave him a brainduster. "You've been on that Spoofset TOO long. MUNDANE icecream...
not XANTH!!"
"He's a jerk." Yves retorted, flatly. "Ugh....I hope he's not always that annoying! I hope he's
not like that when he gets on the set."
"Well, his type seem to be the ones who crack first." Byers pointed out. "Look at Ardeth and
Donovan."
Langly nodded. "Oh yeah. I can't wait to see them crack him!" He retorted, watching as
Commodore "Ice-Cream-Cone-Head" disapeared from view.
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Due to circumtances to complicated to explain the Author is in an insane mood....
proceed with caution.
**loud maniacal laughter**
**************************************************************************
WARNING: You have been warned!!
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Why am I bothering......you're gonna read it anyway...but remember.....we can not be
held responsible for your insanity. Although, if you'd like to scedule an appointment with our
shrink...I'm sure that Dr Lecter will be able to make time for you.....that is when he isn't acting or
killing people....or any other number of things.....like having lunch with Grunthor.........clone pizza
anyone?
**************************************************************************
BACK TO THE SPOOFSET.......where Cassi and Sven are seeing to a few more details. Almost
everyone else is gone.
Sven tapped her foot impatiently. "MUNGO!! Come on! We need them alive TODAY!!!"
Cassi bored, pulled out her crochet stuff. "Mexico awaits." She remarked, chosing which blanket
to work on this time. !@#: This is explained in the next section of Temper Tantrum!@#
"Oi'm gettin' i'!" Mungo yelled back. "Do you 'ave to 'ave all THREE?"
"YES!!!" Sven shouted back. Growling, she pulled out her pill bottle and took some headache pills.
"Bu' Whoiy?!" Mungo demanded.
"It's part of Freddy's surprise!" Cassi answered, not looking up from what she is doing.
Sven started to pull out a book, but was stopped by the sound of her spoof cellphone...
**I don't have one in real life......thankfully** "Arg. WHAT?!" She snarled into the phone.
Then paused and grinned. "Oh...it's YOU! You got the message? So, you coming? You'll be
turned five, but you'll have an advantage on him.....cuz, he won't recognize you until he's
crispy-fried...."
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Well, don't say you weren't warned.....I told you I was in a INSANE mood....I'm having
FUN!!!
**************************************************************************
Cassi looked up from her work and stared at Sven in surprise. "What?" She asked, pointedly.
Mungo and Teazer were both staring from MedLab. **Not doing their jobs, I might add!**
Sven grinned, oblivious to the stares. **(grins)I have my secrets!!*coughelectrocough** After
a moment she hung up and put the cellphone away.
"Ahem?" Cassi cleared her throat loudly. "And just WHO is being crispy-fried?" She wanted to
know.
"Spiderman." Sven replied smoothly, giving a wide grin.
"Who is it, you're bringing in? You know I don't care for them comic book characters......" Cassi
retorted, rolling her eyes as she always did when Sven was talking about Spiderman villians.
!@#: I've heard so much about Doc Ock that I'm going to be VERY sick of Spiderman 2 when it
finally comes to the theaters....in July...and I'm almost sure Sven's counting the days!@#
"Max Dillon." Sven answered.
"And he is who.....no wait...you mentioned one um.....the one with the dorky star mask?" She
questioned.
"Electro." Sven supplied.
"He's not going to be WEARING that mask, is he?" Cassi demanded.
"Nope.....he's gonna be dressed in black jeans and a t-shirt and he's gonna be turned five as soon
as I meet up with him. He really wants to fry Spidey, just once he wants to kill him......so he can
brag to all the others and show off the video." Sven told her.
"Do I get a t-shirt that says "I killed Spiderman?" Asked Electro from the door. "I made the call in
the parking lot. Your security nearly gave me a heartattack."
Steve poked his nose in. "We have that effect on people."
Nick poked his head in and glared. "And next time....we expect to be warned before some freak
who tries to kill us comes for a visit!" He retorted. "He nearly crispy-fried my TAIL!!"
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Reading comics can cause irriversable brain damage.....use caution if you read them..
**I'm sure Cassi agrees. ^_^!! **!@# See earlier comic book people comment.!@#
**************************************************************************
Electro rolled his eyes. "I thought you might be working for the Lizard......" He protested.
**One of Spidey's villians. Curt Conner's alter-ego**
Steve stared. "DID YOU JUST CALL OUR BOSS A LIZARD?! I'LL SHOW YOU A LIZARD!!"
He yelled, angrily.
"WRONG PERSON, STEVE!" Sven assured him. "He didn't mean Ryan......not that Ryan looks
anything like a lizard...but anyway, he meant some idiot who managed to make himself a talking
homicidal lizard that hates the human race. Let's just forget about it." !@#Incidentally, is this
a subject to forget right away?!!@#
Steve and Nick did the "Wolvie pout" and went back outside.
Cassi eyed the new arrival.....who true to his word, was not wearing the dorky outfit. He had
reddish-brown hair and his eyes sparked with electricity.
"Um....sure...we can get you a t-shirt." Sven agreed, after turning back to Electro.
Cassi raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but he's gonna need shades. Otherwise, the nut in spandex
will know who he is." She pointed out, before quietly muttering under her breath. "Pikachu wannabe."
Sven frowned, but nodded. "Yeah.....hang on." She snapped her fingers and a pair of shades
appeared on Electro. "That's better."
Cassi glanced at the MedLab door and glared. "HEY!! Stop watching!! You have dead people to
bring to life!" She ordered.
Electro stared. "You have CATS that bring the dead back to life?"
"We have fuzzy-blue aliens that look like rabid hampsters, too." Sven informed him, matter of factly.
"Not to mention 'Eck-the-lion'...'Evil Martian Pigs'.....'Poisonous Pink Bunnies'..and 'Killer
Squirrels'.....Barney..." Cassi added, sounding bored.
Electro shook his head. "I wondered what happened to that bug......he's been acting so weird.
Thanks for helping me understand why."
"How weird?" Sven asked, curious.
"Well, he freaked out the Vulture, when he told him to watch out for the 'radioactive-mutant-
hummingbirds'...that were gonna take over the world. Toomes turned himself over to the police, he
actually BELIEVED that Spiderfreak!" Electro answered, and then paused. "He wasn't the only one."
**And every comic book fans falls over laughing....can you imagine this happening?**!@#--
Actually with those comic book plots, it wouldn't surprise me.!@#
Sven and Cassi exchanged a look, and broke into incoherent laughter.
"What's going on?" Langly asked, over the comm unit. "What's taking so long?"
Sven, after gaining control of her laughter, grabbed the comm. "Um....Mungo's not done yet, and um
we're talking with a new cast member, who wants to be turned five." She answered. "What's your
status?"
"The cameras and everything is set in place....and Commodore "Ice-Cream-Cone-Head" is looking
for Ardeth and Carter." Langly replied.
"Good luck to that." Carter retorted, walking on set. "We got bored of Port Royal." He announced,
as he and Ardeth returned to the set. "We thought we'd just come back here and go with you. It's
not fun when you're not around."
Cassi grinned. "It's so nice to be needed." She replied, with a grin.
"Ice-Cream-Cone-Head?" Ardeth mouthed, with a raised eyebrow.
Carter shrugged.
Cassi snickered, and coughed. "[cough]DoofusJackoff[cough]."
Ardeth eyed Electro. "Who is this?" He questioned, noticing the stranger.
"I'm Max Dillon, better known as the human dynamo 'Electro.'" He told them, truthfully.
"He's like Pikachu......only deadly.." Sven remarked, giving a sly look.
"Pikachu?!?" Electro exclaimed, offended. "That's an INSULT!"
Cassi, Ardeth, and Carter busted out laughing.
"Pikachu." Cassi retorted, sounding just like the adorable electro-rat.
Sven gave an innocent look. "Hey, they needed a discription....because, I really doubt they
understood what you said."
"Hmmmmm......killer Pikachu....that's a new one." Carter remarked, once he had gained control
of his laughter. "That's a freaky mental image."
Electro made a sour face.
"You better get with Jameson and make sure he doesn't put that in the Bugle." Cassi chimed in.
"He's been given permission to print anything that happens during this spoof, in the Daily Bugle."
"Is it too late to change my mind?" Electro asked.
Sven pulled out a water balloon and threw it, hitting Electro in the chest....within seconds.....Electro
was a cute five year old child. "Yes." She told him, unnecessarily.
**And thankfully, since he isn't using his um powers and is not charged up, the water didn't
short-circuit him. As it can if he's fully charged with power.**
***************************************************************************
WARNING: There are even MORE warnings still coming.........hehehehehehe......
***************************************************************************
**I have to say....this is amusing.......and I did manage to get Jack in....and someone IS five.......**
***************************************************************************
END SECTION TWO.....er Maybe.....Cassi might want to add something....once she stops laughing.
[insert very bad word here]Cassi's not laughing.....power shut off and turned the computer off....
meaning I just lost all I corrected....and don't feel like doing it again tonight....we'll try this again
when I'm not in pain and ready to put my foot through the screen....this would be bad....I could
break a toe or something.
**I swear, as soon as Murphy get's on set...........he's getting annoying.** (For all those who don't
know about Magician Murphy, he's from Xanth.....and I'm sure you know WHAT his talent is......
we usually refer to it as "Murphy's Law" He will be killed many times when he finally gets around
to coming onto the spoofset.)
***************************************************************************
ATTENTION--To all of you, who want to have cameos.....please send us exactly what you want
to do, and we'll see where we can put it. Please send it through email to
mommydragon@earthlink.net
Also....please review...we love input....yes we have lots of ideas, but we are always looking for
more. And if you have any suggestions for warnings or insanity breaks....you can send them as
well. I hope you enjoyed this section....we should have Jack a five year old by the next chapter.
Jan. 18th.....and it's not posted yet..........Cassi hasn't gone through it and spell-checked yet. She
hasn't been on the computer much lately.
!@#:January 21.....oooh, tomorrow's Nonnie's birthday. Um, my best friend, Jenese's daughter.
Right anyhow, I finally got around to correcting this....and I actually typed the first part of
Chap 3 in Temper Tantrum...so perhaps whenever I get around to typing the rest of it, I'll
actually post it online. Anyhow, I'm done tonight, and I must return to my blanket squares.
Later--Cassi!@#
***************YES, a new section is FINALLY UP!!******************************
Oooooooooooo!!! Another section of chaos......bring on the WARNINGS!!!! I plan on having a
GREAT time with this.....oh yeah, all you peoples that want to be in this, need to send me what
you want to do. I plan on getting to Jack in this section.......and I have only one thing to say....
*************************************************************************
WARNING: Drinking Rum is bad for your health.........
**Jack better be glad that Jason isn't around, YET!!!! He's in the story, as I mentioned earlier.
He thinks that drinking is bad for your health.....so he kills you for it.**
*************************************************************************
Alright, there's a few things that I forgot to mention....I told you I would. Somewhere in this
spoof/story I will be bringing in at least one dead person that we have to bring to life. Anyway,
the definite one is "Nancy Thompson" Anyone who has seen "A Nightmare on Elm Street"
**the first one* or "A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Warriors" Should know WHO
she is. She was killed by Freddy at the end of The Dream Warriors. We're bringing her back....
and (evil grin) someone *coughdrusillacough* might push them into a love spring..or rather just
her and make Freddy the first male she sees.....**Why not? Drusilla pushed Jason in and dived
in with him. Oh yeah, Jason and Drusilla Voorhees have a son, his name is "William Angelus
Voorhees" **Cassi's idea, and it's a good one**
Speaking of Cassi, she's up in her new room sleeping....she couldn't sleep last night, so she was
exhausted by the time we left the Christmas dinner.....so she's sleeping.....(maybe, she does get
insomnia) !@#: Cassi was not sleeping, she was laying down. For the record, I got to sleep at
about 8:30 9:0) area....um AM, not PM. Christmas morning I went to sleep at 9am, and got up at
noon, then went to bed at 8:30 the next morning.....and I REALLY hope they bring my sleeping
pills home tomorrow!!! I ran out. On Christmas, it was Ireyna's fault I didn't sleep. I had to help her
learn to use the sewing machine....at 5 in the morning. And if anyone mentions "Sewing Machine"
I'm shooting them...and it. Ireyna doesn't follow directions well. I left four hours later.!@#
Wait, again I've forgotten something. The other two dead people I will be bringing in....I don't
know whether they'll make it in this one. Anyway, they are Linderman and Kia from "Freddy VS
Jason" I had to get those two together....so we brought them back...or rather we WILL be
bringing them back.....sooner or later.
Hmmmm.....I guess I can try to continue. Ugh, pain pill has STILL not kicked in!! EVIL pill!!
Alright, where were we? Oh yes, Freddy wanted to know what was going on. But FIRST!!!
**********************************************************************
RANDOM INSANITY BREAK# I know this is annoying. **Don't you just love my numbers?*
Alright--I'm going to give you a few "Horror-Scopes" compiled by the editors and writers of
"Mad"
ARIES (The Ram....who likes to ram things, stay away from him)--Aries is the sign of the
LEADER. You take command in any situation, and should anyone contest your claim to
authority, you will apply tact, diplomacy, and sensitivity as you step on his face. While
some might consider your intolerance, arrogance, and impatience as negative traits, you're
fully aware that the time you save completing other peoples statements for them can be put
to better use than having to sit through their worthless prattle, qualities well-suited for success
as a: 1-History maker 2-Presidential Hopeful 3-Eunuch.
In the first group, certainly Thomas Jefferson, Khrushchev, Charlemane, Otto Von Bismark.....
(hmmmmm....actually I know another Otto who acts similar......Dr. Otto Octavius "Doc Ock")
and Hugh Hefner listed right at the top.!@#: Will Turner.....cougheunuchcough..(grin)!@#
While Eunuchs seem to be fairly uncommon of late, failure to mention Sergio,
"I-Couldn't-Care-less" Aragones who has guarded some of the most celebrated harems in the
world, from Sheik Abdul Ben Kayak **I bet he got made fun of in school** to Hugh Hefner,
would render this category impotent.
**Another note--My comments on "Doc Ocks" attitude....he loves to talk about how much
of a genius he is................................I'm not kidding! I don't know what the MOVIE one will
do, but I do know the comic book one.....REALLY well.....Spidey was my favorite comic book.
So needless to say, I know quite a bit about his villians....especially those tied in with the
Sinister Six...(Doc Ock is usually the leader of that group) Anyway, thought I'd explain my
comment.**
THIS CONCLUDES THIS LATEST INSANITY BREAK
**********************************************************************
**Aren't we SOOO consistant....we ended the last section with one of these and now we're
starting the next section with one.**
**********************************************************************
**loud yawn.....uh-oh...something tells me that I will not be up much longer....only got about
three or four hours of sleep and I might be going with my mom to see Dr Watson (um...he's
a friend of ours from church, and since our mom is having a problem with her ankles and she
can't get to our normal doctor (as he is out of town until AFTER Christmas) Anyway, she's
going in to see him. Oh right, you STILL want me to start this section....ummmmm....not very
much if I try. As I said, I'm gonna crash soon.**
**********************************************************************
GUESS WHAT?!: It's Christmas Eve......and I STILL haven't typed anything........I'm sure
you could see that coming....well SORRY. I have things to do....like uh...go move heavy stuff..
yeah, that's it.....
**I'm actually serious....anyway, that's all for now**
December 27th....Four O'Clock in the morning.........just one comment.....Two Towers Extended
version....it's almost four hours long.....
I'm spoofing the extended one....that was quite amusing....not only that, but we're
bringing in Faramir, Eomer, that blond chick, a few more weirdos and of course TWO that
we're bringing back from the dead...........Boromir (you had to know that one was coming) and
Hal.....er Haldir....Cassi likes him and was pissed because they killed him. He's the elf from
"Loth---whatever" that wasn't wearing a helmet.....why do the commanders not where helmets?
Anyway, he's coming back. Cassi will be calling him "Hal" so get used to it. Anyway, this has
nothing to do with spoof....why is it in here? You ask.....well I had to tell you that I wasn't gonna
type tonight....sorry...but I don't want to be up till the sun starts rising..it is actually almost FIVE!
I'm gonna go to bed......maybe I'll type to-- I mean later today, after I've had a few hours sleep.
************************************************************************
**Note to self.......stop looking things up online, when there are stories to be typed!**
**HEY! I got a really good mugshot of Riddick....with the silver eyes showing!!**
************************************************************************
Dec. 29. (what?!) I will try to type in this soon....but I have to do another one right now. I have
a REALLY bad headache and had to push down dinner....cuz (yes, I know it is spelled wrong!)
if I didn't eat it, I would have made our mom mad and she wouldn't have eaten....get the picture....
anyway, I also have to do dishes after dinner...so I'll be leaving for that too. I will type in this
one when the painpills kick in....look at it this way, I type better when that happens....no pain!
So I WILL have something typed tonight........*SOMETHING* see......(ducks flying objects...)
KIDDING!!!! See, I'm in a good mood already....well I'm laughing....ugh...food didn't set so well.
Arg.....puckernuts!.....oh right.....you don't understand that.....it's a common curse in the Elf Quest
books....hehehehe...I got a whole bunch for Christmas!!!! Anyway, I'll get typing after I do the
dishes and finish a little in another story......Becca remember the Animal Girl? The one on set
was Krissy or Krissica if want the whole name....her mother Lissa or Lissandale is the one in
the Iris story. The one I've been doing a little rough draft typing is....."The Story of Lissandale"
I'll get to this one.
It is now three o'clock in the morning.....now I'm typing a little........I found more pictures.....a
really good one of Ardeth Bay.....anyway, where were we? Oh right, Freddy wanted to know
what was going on.....
Alright, more to add.......I have a few more that are DEFINETLY going to be in this......
J. Jonah Jameson, Spidey, Carnage, Doom, Jeffery, Mohawk, Stripe & a bunch more, I just
wanted to mention those ones. I also have another...but he comes in, in this section so wait
and see.
**Considering the name of this spoof the chapter title shouldn't phaze you.**
************************************************************************
CHAPTER TWO: I CAN'T THINK OF A TITLE FOR THIS SECTION--I GUESS THIS WORKS
************************************************************************
Freddy gave the entire room an impatient look......"Now what's going on?" He demanded.
Lucy glared. "None of your business!" She snapped.
"She's still mad because you killed Johnny Depp." Cassi informed him.
"Nancy's boyfriend?" He questioned.
"Yep." Sven answered.
"Does he REALLY have to be here?" Lucy wanted to know.
Cassi and Sven exchanged an evil grin.
"YES!" Sven exclaimed, slyly.
Freddy eyed them again. "Now, I'm getting worried." He mused.
Romano glanced at the Authors and grinned, realizing what they were thinking. They intended
to turn Freddy into a child.
Chris laughed. "That's why they're called the EVIL Authors. They want you to be paranoid.
They're great at messing with other peoples minds." He retorted.
Lucy also eyed the Authors. "What are you two planing?" She demanded.
Across the room, Becca was snickering.
Cassi smiled. "We're doing what we do best. Anything and everything that is tied in with
insanity!!" She proclaimed.
Sven smirked. "Besides....Jason's coming."
"I've changed my mind, I want nothing to do with this!" Freddy cut in. !@#: Freddy isn't really
afraid of Jason, he just doesn't want to fight with him right now....and he does not yet have his
talent...see ER VS the Breaktime Temper Tantrum.!@#
"Too late!" Romano shot back. "Now you're stuck! Besides, you're not AFRAID of him are you?"
Freddy stuck his lip out. "Of course not!!" He made another face. "I'm coming."
"What are we going to call this "Adventure?" Lizzie questioned, sounding curious.
"We'll consider a "More Interesting Title Later." Cassi answered, giving an amused look.
**As you know the title, I'm sure you find this funny**
"What exactly are we doing?" Freddy asked.
Dor grinned. "We're turning a bunch of pirates into five year olds." He replied.
"Not just the pirates!" Chris cut in. "There's a few others, even some of us.......like me."
Freddy stared at him. "You actually WANT to be changed into a five year old?"
Chris grinned again. "YES!! I saw how much fun the people at County General had! I want my
chance!"
************************************************************************
WARNING: Anvils can fall from the sky at any time!! So keep your eyes open!! You never
know when one might land on you.
************************************************************************
"Can I come?" Asked Jameson from the door. "I need a break.......besides my office is being
repaired after the last Super Villian fight that took place in it."
Romano raised an eyebrow. "Do your employees get combat pay?" He asked Jameson.
Jameson made a face, but didn't answer.
Sven shrugged. "Sure, just make sure the "Web-head" shows up. Maybe we can turn HIM
five!" She suggested, slyly.
Jameson gave a horrified look. "NO NOT THAT!!!! THAT would give me NIGHTMARES!!"
He cried.
"I'll keep that in mind......" Freddy muttered.
"Aw! It would have been funny. Can you imagine the readers of the Daily Bugle seeing a
picture of Spidey as a child? You'd sell out every copy." Sven told him.
Jameson grinned. "REALLY? I can publish any pictures I get?" He demanded.
Sven and Cassi nod and grin.
"Good, make sure you get Dr Doom, too!" Jameson retorted.
Sven considered that suggestion. "Hmmmm.....mini Doom....I wonder how much money we
could make selling that video to the Fantastic Four."
Jameson grinned. **Which is a strange and horrifying thought...See...he can crack a smile**
"That sounds wonderful!"
Cassi shook her head. "This should be amusing."
"When are we leaving?" Becca wanted to know. "I want to see Captain Jack again."
**************************************************************************
FUNFACT: New Year's Eve! Cassi now has sleeping pills! I got them last night! This means I
can sleep now! Ehhh, but not tonight. Tonight is for fireworks. ^_^ I'm still a pyro.
Now back to our story. --Cassi
**************************************************************************
Sven moved over to Cassi and whispered something...Romano, being close enough, heard what
was said.
"Wait till Jolly Jameson finds out we're bringing in the movie Spidey...then he'll have to deal with
TWO of them." Sven retorted, quietly.
Cassi snickered. "That should be a sight." She whispered back.
Romano shook his head in amusement.
"When are we leaving?" Becca demanded, again.
"Soon." Sven answered, and yawned. "Maybe after a nap.........."
Lucy glared. "NO!! We have to do it NOW!!! Because I'm bored." She insisted.
"You don't look like a board." A chair stated. "Boards are flat and boring."
Romano made a face at the pun. Sometimes Dor's talent could be annoying.
Dor caught his look and winced. "Sorry." He remarked apologetically.
"Let's get this thing started." Cassi announced heading for the door, with Sven right behind her.
"We have some partying to do!"
**************************************************************************
No this is NOT the end of the section......this is umm......an Insanity Break...yeah that's it! Here
a brief paragraph from the Journal of Peter Parker/Spiderman (this is from the Movie tie-in from
the movie version...got that. It's Peter's opinion of Jameson telling him he would send him
Christmas Meat)
"Christmas meat. There's something to live for. Knowing him, he'll wait until it's on sale for half
price, like during Easter (eeww) It'll be delivered in a hazardous waste container. (double eeww)"
**For Reference--The book was written by Peter David. This particular bit was taken from page
202....the end of the 16th Chapter.**
END THIS INSANITY BREAK **Now, I'm going to bed......BEFORE FOUR in the morning........
IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!**
*************************************************************************
!@#: Cassi reads through this thing....Sven, you should call this section "Author's Comments"
I think there's more Author's notes than there is story.....um, right sorry we have to leave now.
(grins) We're off to get a video from Jeff.....It's MacGyver/Halloween Knights....we hope.!@#
**Yeah, I know....but there were things that HAD to be mentioned. Don't worry, I cut out a
few sections of notes. The rest have quite a bit of stuff that you readers really need to know!**
!@#: New note....(grins) We have Halloween Knights!! (does a happy dance) Um, right, yes
Becca and Amanda, we WILL copy it for you.....when we get there...**To all deprived people
who don't know what this is, it's the best MacGyver/Murdoc episode there was! Mac carries
Murdoc piggyback over big pit of snakes...while Murdoc freaks out**
*************************************************************************
**Alright, now where am I going next?.....Hmmmmmm....this is why I haven't gotten this section
up yet. Ugh.....Reyna is in the room...being her annoying self...oh good. She left! ARG!!!!!!
She came back and HAD to have something...so I had to dump everything on the dresser onto
the floor for her and NOW I have a REALLY BAD HEADACHE!!!!!!! Don't know how much
I can type at the moment!**Look....another note...blame Reyna...(insert REALLY bad word)**
Pain pill just kicked in....and it's almost two in the morning.....have no fear.....I've been staying
up late a lot....I've become a night owl...not only that, but I fell asleep this afternoon and didn't
wake up as early as I planed. I'm not tired....and I know where to go next! To.........JACK!!! ^_^
*************************************************************************
MEANWHILE SOMEWHERE IN THE CARIBBEAN........
Jack Sparrow gazed out at the ocean and was thinking about Lucy. Perhaps he should have
brought her. He was always thinking about her lately. Which was strange, considering how
their first meeting had gone. Lucy had leaped into his arms and asked him to marry her.
**See Chameleon....the spoof...not the supervillian**
Jack smiled and shook his head. Lucy was quite an interesting woman. He had enjoyed
sacking Chicago with her during the last breaktime spoof.
**See Jeffery...the story...not the spider**
"Wha' are ye so amused abou'?" AnaMaria questioned, walking up beside him.
"Jus' thinkin' abou' Lucy." He replied, with a sheepish look.
AnaMaria laughed. "Why didn' ye bring 'er along?" She asked.
Jack sighed and made a face. "Because I couldn' bring Nicky." He admitted.
AnaMaria shook her head. "I luv tha' kid. He an' 'is family are fun ta be around." She retorted,
with a wide grin. "All of those kids would make GREA' pirates! If we brough' in them all, we'd
'ave a bigger crew. It would be grea'!"
**Ooooo....beware....the "Pike Pirates!"**
"Aye, some of the songs they sing......"Jack chuckled. "If only we ha' more crew members tha'
were like tha'." !@#"Underware, underware, oh how I itch in my wooly underware"....yes, I'm
serious!@#
"Ya mean more "childish" crew members?" AnaMaria wanted to know, sounding amused.
Jack nodded. "Aye. I' would be fun." He agreed.
"Careful wha' ye wish fer......" AnaMaria warned. "Them SpoofAuthors may answer i' for ya."
Jack winced. "Aye, they would. Oi saw the video from Coun'y General, when they turned every-
one inta children. Although, Romano sure made i' look fun." He mused, thoughtfully.
AnaMaria nodded. "Aye, tha' 'e did. Bu' we're on a ship....there aren' very many people ta mess
around with."
**(imitates Bugs Bunny)They don' know us very well, do they?**
Jack made a face. "There's tha'. Too bad really. I' would 'ave been fun."
"Don' le' Gibbs, or anyone else 'ear tha'. Gibbs doesn' care for the magic we've been gettin'
from the Spoofse'." AnaMaria replied. "Tha' could ge' ya another mutiny."
Jack shrugged. "I don' think i' works ou' 'ere, anyway. We 'ave ta be in Xanth or Spoofse'
zone for tha'." He told her. "I think."
AnaMaria sighed and headed back to the wheel. "Well, enjoy yer though's of Lucy, i' may
be awhoile before ya see 'er again."
Jack just shook his head and stared back out into the ocean, wondering what the EvilAuthors
were doing. Could they be planning something? They had willingly given his crew back, without
any questions. In fact they seemed to be quite eager about it. It wouldn't surprise him, if they
could find a way to torture his crew. But then.........maybe that would bring Lucy. He frowned, and
shook the thoughts from his head. This was ridiculas! The EvilAuthors wouldn't go to that sort
of trouble, just to have a little fun.
**************************************************************************
And of course, what Jack didn't know, is....we will go to ANY trouble just to "have a little fun"
So...he would finally get to see his crew act as he had considered.......ANNND....due to a snap of
fingers, there were already cameras filming everything that was going on, on the Black Pearl.....
**************************************************************************
MEANWHILE....IN PORT ROYAL
Langly and his crew, Byers, Frohike, Yves, and Jimmy Bond, were setting up the strange looking
cameras, that Lucy had created to work with no electricity. They looked like beautiful decorations.
So far they hadn't had any trouble. No one had stopped to ask what they were doing. They had
walked past, barely glancing at the group.
A few hours passed before anyone came to investigate. **Which really makes us wonder about
the British Navy**
"What exactly are you doing?" Asked a man who had to be in his mid to late thirties. He wore a
fancy uniform with a white wig and a fancy hat which made him look kinda like an "eyescream" cone
to Langly. Or rather the mundane version.....icecream.......The Xanth version being VERY noisy.
**No joke, people. This is fact!**
"We, Sir, were hired to beautify Port Royal." Langly answered, grandly. He was enjoying this
acting.....perhaps he'd get an Oscar.
The man frowned. "Who hired you?" He demanded, looking very annoyed.
Langly shrugged. "Don't know. Our boss would be the one to talk to." He replied. This guy
really needed to lighten up. He was acting like a dork.
"And what is his name?" The Human Icecream cone asked. **Sven falls out of chair laughing**
"John Carter, Sir." Langly answered, promptly. "DOCTOR John Carter."
"And where is he?"
"He's in Port Royal with his friend Ardeth Bay. Don't know where, said they wanted to see some
of the sights." Langly told him. "If I see him, who shall I say is looking for him?"
The Human Icecream Cone sighed. "I'm Commodore James Norrington." The man answered.
Langly held back the laughter, remembering what the Evil Authors had called this guy. Of course
that was the least of it. This was one of the ones they wanted to drive stark-raving mad. "Pleasure
to meet you, Commodore." He managed to get out.
Norrington nodded. "I think I'll be looking for this "doctor" of yours. What does he look like?"
"Dark skin, tatoos, black robes, long hair..... His friend Ardeth has a similar appearence." Langly
replied.
Norrington frowned again. "Is he a pirate?" He demanded.
Jimmy rolled his eyes. "He's a DOCTOR!!!" He retorted. "DUH! Langly just said that!"
Langly burst out laughing, and covered Jimmy's mouth "NO!!! Of course he's not a pirate, only if
he's acting and he's not. No, he comes from Egypt. They're Med-Jai." He informed him. "They're
desert men."
"Alright, he shouldn't be too hard to find. But I warn you, if I get any trouble from any of you,
you'll be locked up." Norrington promised, before walking away.
"He looks like an icecream cone." Frohike stated, making a face.
Jimmy stared after him. "I dunno....he didn't scream much......"
Byers gave him a brainduster. "You've been on that Spoofset TOO long. MUNDANE icecream...
not XANTH!!"
"He's a jerk." Yves retorted, flatly. "Ugh....I hope he's not always that annoying! I hope he's
not like that when he gets on the set."
"Well, his type seem to be the ones who crack first." Byers pointed out. "Look at Ardeth and
Donovan."
Langly nodded. "Oh yeah. I can't wait to see them crack him!" He retorted, watching as
Commodore "Ice-Cream-Cone-Head" disapeared from view.
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Due to circumtances to complicated to explain the Author is in an insane mood....
proceed with caution.
**loud maniacal laughter**
**************************************************************************
WARNING: You have been warned!!
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Why am I bothering......you're gonna read it anyway...but remember.....we can not be
held responsible for your insanity. Although, if you'd like to scedule an appointment with our
shrink...I'm sure that Dr Lecter will be able to make time for you.....that is when he isn't acting or
killing people....or any other number of things.....like having lunch with Grunthor.........clone pizza
anyone?
**************************************************************************
BACK TO THE SPOOFSET.......where Cassi and Sven are seeing to a few more details. Almost
everyone else is gone.
Sven tapped her foot impatiently. "MUNGO!! Come on! We need them alive TODAY!!!"
Cassi bored, pulled out her crochet stuff. "Mexico awaits." She remarked, chosing which blanket
to work on this time. !@#: This is explained in the next section of Temper Tantrum!@#
"Oi'm gettin' i'!" Mungo yelled back. "Do you 'ave to 'ave all THREE?"
"YES!!!" Sven shouted back. Growling, she pulled out her pill bottle and took some headache pills.
"Bu' Whoiy?!" Mungo demanded.
"It's part of Freddy's surprise!" Cassi answered, not looking up from what she is doing.
Sven started to pull out a book, but was stopped by the sound of her spoof cellphone...
**I don't have one in real life......thankfully** "Arg. WHAT?!" She snarled into the phone.
Then paused and grinned. "Oh...it's YOU! You got the message? So, you coming? You'll be
turned five, but you'll have an advantage on him.....cuz, he won't recognize you until he's
crispy-fried...."
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Well, don't say you weren't warned.....I told you I was in a INSANE mood....I'm having
FUN!!!
**************************************************************************
Cassi looked up from her work and stared at Sven in surprise. "What?" She asked, pointedly.
Mungo and Teazer were both staring from MedLab. **Not doing their jobs, I might add!**
Sven grinned, oblivious to the stares. **(grins)I have my secrets!!*coughelectrocough** After
a moment she hung up and put the cellphone away.
"Ahem?" Cassi cleared her throat loudly. "And just WHO is being crispy-fried?" She wanted to
know.
"Spiderman." Sven replied smoothly, giving a wide grin.
"Who is it, you're bringing in? You know I don't care for them comic book characters......" Cassi
retorted, rolling her eyes as she always did when Sven was talking about Spiderman villians.
!@#: I've heard so much about Doc Ock that I'm going to be VERY sick of Spiderman 2 when it
finally comes to the theaters....in July...and I'm almost sure Sven's counting the days!@#
"Max Dillon." Sven answered.
"And he is who.....no wait...you mentioned one um.....the one with the dorky star mask?" She
questioned.
"Electro." Sven supplied.
"He's not going to be WEARING that mask, is he?" Cassi demanded.
"Nope.....he's gonna be dressed in black jeans and a t-shirt and he's gonna be turned five as soon
as I meet up with him. He really wants to fry Spidey, just once he wants to kill him......so he can
brag to all the others and show off the video." Sven told her.
"Do I get a t-shirt that says "I killed Spiderman?" Asked Electro from the door. "I made the call in
the parking lot. Your security nearly gave me a heartattack."
Steve poked his nose in. "We have that effect on people."
Nick poked his head in and glared. "And next time....we expect to be warned before some freak
who tries to kill us comes for a visit!" He retorted. "He nearly crispy-fried my TAIL!!"
**************************************************************************
WARNING: Reading comics can cause irriversable brain damage.....use caution if you read them..
**I'm sure Cassi agrees. ^_^!! **!@# See earlier comic book people comment.!@#
**************************************************************************
Electro rolled his eyes. "I thought you might be working for the Lizard......" He protested.
**One of Spidey's villians. Curt Conner's alter-ego**
Steve stared. "DID YOU JUST CALL OUR BOSS A LIZARD?! I'LL SHOW YOU A LIZARD!!"
He yelled, angrily.
"WRONG PERSON, STEVE!" Sven assured him. "He didn't mean Ryan......not that Ryan looks
anything like a lizard...but anyway, he meant some idiot who managed to make himself a talking
homicidal lizard that hates the human race. Let's just forget about it." !@#Incidentally, is this
a subject to forget right away?!!@#
Steve and Nick did the "Wolvie pout" and went back outside.
Cassi eyed the new arrival.....who true to his word, was not wearing the dorky outfit. He had
reddish-brown hair and his eyes sparked with electricity.
"Um....sure...we can get you a t-shirt." Sven agreed, after turning back to Electro.
Cassi raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but he's gonna need shades. Otherwise, the nut in spandex
will know who he is." She pointed out, before quietly muttering under her breath. "Pikachu wannabe."
Sven frowned, but nodded. "Yeah.....hang on." She snapped her fingers and a pair of shades
appeared on Electro. "That's better."
Cassi glanced at the MedLab door and glared. "HEY!! Stop watching!! You have dead people to
bring to life!" She ordered.
Electro stared. "You have CATS that bring the dead back to life?"
"We have fuzzy-blue aliens that look like rabid hampsters, too." Sven informed him, matter of factly.
"Not to mention 'Eck-the-lion'...'Evil Martian Pigs'.....'Poisonous Pink Bunnies'..and 'Killer
Squirrels'.....Barney..." Cassi added, sounding bored.
Electro shook his head. "I wondered what happened to that bug......he's been acting so weird.
Thanks for helping me understand why."
"How weird?" Sven asked, curious.
"Well, he freaked out the Vulture, when he told him to watch out for the 'radioactive-mutant-
hummingbirds'...that were gonna take over the world. Toomes turned himself over to the police, he
actually BELIEVED that Spiderfreak!" Electro answered, and then paused. "He wasn't the only one."
**And every comic book fans falls over laughing....can you imagine this happening?**!@#--
Actually with those comic book plots, it wouldn't surprise me.!@#
Sven and Cassi exchanged a look, and broke into incoherent laughter.
"What's going on?" Langly asked, over the comm unit. "What's taking so long?"
Sven, after gaining control of her laughter, grabbed the comm. "Um....Mungo's not done yet, and um
we're talking with a new cast member, who wants to be turned five." She answered. "What's your
status?"
"The cameras and everything is set in place....and Commodore "Ice-Cream-Cone-Head" is looking
for Ardeth and Carter." Langly replied.
"Good luck to that." Carter retorted, walking on set. "We got bored of Port Royal." He announced,
as he and Ardeth returned to the set. "We thought we'd just come back here and go with you. It's
not fun when you're not around."
Cassi grinned. "It's so nice to be needed." She replied, with a grin.
"Ice-Cream-Cone-Head?" Ardeth mouthed, with a raised eyebrow.
Carter shrugged.
Cassi snickered, and coughed. "[cough]DoofusJackoff[cough]."
Ardeth eyed Electro. "Who is this?" He questioned, noticing the stranger.
"I'm Max Dillon, better known as the human dynamo 'Electro.'" He told them, truthfully.
"He's like Pikachu......only deadly.." Sven remarked, giving a sly look.
"Pikachu?!?" Electro exclaimed, offended. "That's an INSULT!"
Cassi, Ardeth, and Carter busted out laughing.
"Pikachu." Cassi retorted, sounding just like the adorable electro-rat.
Sven gave an innocent look. "Hey, they needed a discription....because, I really doubt they
understood what you said."
"Hmmmmm......killer Pikachu....that's a new one." Carter remarked, once he had gained control
of his laughter. "That's a freaky mental image."
Electro made a sour face.
"You better get with Jameson and make sure he doesn't put that in the Bugle." Cassi chimed in.
"He's been given permission to print anything that happens during this spoof, in the Daily Bugle."
"Is it too late to change my mind?" Electro asked.
Sven pulled out a water balloon and threw it, hitting Electro in the chest....within seconds.....Electro
was a cute five year old child. "Yes." She told him, unnecessarily.
**And thankfully, since he isn't using his um powers and is not charged up, the water didn't
short-circuit him. As it can if he's fully charged with power.**
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WARNING: There are even MORE warnings still coming.........hehehehehehe......
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**I have to say....this is amusing.......and I did manage to get Jack in....and someone IS five.......**
***************************************************************************
END SECTION TWO.....er Maybe.....Cassi might want to add something....once she stops laughing.
[insert very bad word here]Cassi's not laughing.....power shut off and turned the computer off....
meaning I just lost all I corrected....and don't feel like doing it again tonight....we'll try this again
when I'm not in pain and ready to put my foot through the screen....this would be bad....I could
break a toe or something.
**I swear, as soon as Murphy get's on set...........he's getting annoying.** (For all those who don't
know about Magician Murphy, he's from Xanth.....and I'm sure you know WHAT his talent is......
we usually refer to it as "Murphy's Law" He will be killed many times when he finally gets around
to coming onto the spoofset.)
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ATTENTION--To all of you, who want to have cameos.....please send us exactly what you want
to do, and we'll see where we can put it. Please send it through email to
mommydragon@earthlink.net
Also....please review...we love input....yes we have lots of ideas, but we are always looking for
more. And if you have any suggestions for warnings or insanity breaks....you can send them as
well. I hope you enjoyed this section....we should have Jack a five year old by the next chapter.
Jan. 18th.....and it's not posted yet..........Cassi hasn't gone through it and spell-checked yet. She
hasn't been on the computer much lately.
!@#:January 21.....oooh, tomorrow's Nonnie's birthday. Um, my best friend, Jenese's daughter.
Right anyhow, I finally got around to correcting this....and I actually typed the first part of
Chap 3 in Temper Tantrum...so perhaps whenever I get around to typing the rest of it, I'll
actually post it online. Anyhow, I'm done tonight, and I must return to my blanket squares.
Later--Cassi!@#
