SECTION THREE**Another section of fun. I'll try to get this one up faster then the last one. I've
been VERY busy the last couple of weeks. Arg....sorry, got a cut on my thumb and typing is
making it hurt. Anyway, we should get a few more changed into five year olds before the end of
this section. I probably won't type anything in this one tonight. I haven't had a lot of sleep the
last few days......because I've been typing. I typed from one in the morning until seven in the
morning.....and the night before I had only had about three and a half hours of sleep. So as I said.
I'm about to pass out now. But I have to work on the story I'm going to publish first. So it's
doubtful that any story will get in this one tonight. Hey, I typed a LOT last night. I finished
the whole last section. Now where to go in this section.......of course if I had more REVIEWS....
it might get somewhere faster....to all of you who HAVE reviewed.....thankyouverymuch!!! I will
work on getting you who want in....in. I still have to print out yours Becca........as you can tell
from the email you got....things around here have been well a bit on the hectic side.....hmm
**************************************************************************
A/N A month later....I think....Cassi is in the typing chair! And on some good drugs as it's been
raining, my legs hurt and I have another migrane which probably came when I found out that
the boot repair man can't fix my favorite boots. Black suede leather thigh high flat 80's boots.
They don't make these anymore....all the more reason I was not happy. Speaking of which,
if anyone knows where I can find a new pair, less than 100 bucks, let me know. zip up in the
back and laces at the sides at the top....and the normal pointy toes, not those ugly square roach
stompers they sell now...and not TOO pointy. I've seen a couple that if you were to kick some
guy in the nuts with these, they'd never have kids...ooh, and one had chrome toes! Apparently,
the guy would have to rebuild the entire soles of the boots and replace the toe of one. Right,
this is a story, not a complaint about the fashions of boots now a days....and I REALLY wanna
find a pair of black lace up heeled ankle boots, like what they wear in the "Heart" music videos
of the 80's....but I can't find these either..and the boot repair man said those are completely
dead since I ripped the heal loose in the back. [sue me, they were 13 years old] I wore them to
death...much like the thigh-highs...grumble grumble....right, we were writing a story here. Fine,
I'll stop griping and get to typing something you really wanna read.
**************************************************************************
FUN FACT: Shoes do not grow on trees in the real world......[Cassi holds her dead boots, with
a Wolvie Pout] I want a second opinion! [and the name of a place that specializes in 80's boots]
**************************************************************************
CHAPTER THREE "FIVE MINUTES IN THE TOWN & WE MUGGED THE COMMODORE"
************************************************************************
--short pause while Cassi changes the screen colors to avoid worse headache...now on with
the Breaktime Spoof!--Also for confusion's sake, if you've not seen the extra features on the
POtC DVD2, or even in the Commentary with Kiera and Jack Davenport (Commodor), Jack
Davenport was not happy with his costume. He said he looked ridiculous, and that his wig
looked like "an ice-cream sundae" and somewhere in there was "how much brocade can a man
wear and not be classified as a Marti-Gras float?", and he was so jealous because the pirates
had better costumes--If you have not seen their commentary, WATCH IT! It's a riot!--
Now back to the story--
*****************************
ON THE BLACK PEARL(somewhere in the Caribbean)
******************************************
Lucy was standing not four feet from Jack and AnaMaria, trying not to leap into his arms, and
knock him over. He missed her! That had to be a positive sign. Unfortunately, he had also
mentioned he'd missed Nicky. She gave a pouty face. "Figures" she thought to herself. "He
can have me at any time, and he'd rather be playing with an eight-year-old." **Pirate training,
only, this is Captain Jack Sparrow, not Michael Jackson.**
Next to her, Dave gave her a nudge. "If you can stop drooling, we can get our job done." He
whispered, not wanting the pirates to know of their presence.
The two were, of course, invisible thanks to Dave's talents, but that didn't mean they couldn't
be heard. For the sake of getting around quietly, the two had chosen to wear only their socks,
so their footfalls would not be heard. When he didn't recieve an answer from Lucy, whom he
assumed was right next to him, he reached out, grabbing her arm, and proceeded to pull her away
from the helm before anyone caught on to their presence. As Lucy and Jack had been seeing
a lot of each other, it would have been only a matter of seconds before he realized she was
there.
As soon as they were a safe distance from any of the pirates, Dave let go of her arm. "That
wasn't very nice." Lucy whispered, furiously. "I think you just briused my arm."
"And if you'd stayed any longer, mooning over Dear Captain Sparrow, he would have caught
both of us." Dave retorted, flatly. "We're here to leave them a present, not flirt."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "If you were to start flirting with him, I would have to tell your wife." She
snapped. "Besides, I saw him first. He's mine."
"Believe me, you can have him." Dave quipped. "He's really not my type. Now if you can focus
on the task at hand, we have to get this Rum to the Captain's quarters."
"This way." Lucy answered, pulling Dave through a doorway. "His is the biggest and nicest."
"And why am I not surprised you would know that?" Dave muttered.
"It's not what you think!" Lucy argued. "I was in there, but nothing happened....bummer."
Before either one could comment further, Gibbs walked into the room they were in. He seemed to
be looking for something. Lucy and Dave instantly quieted, and tried to stay out of his way, and
after a brief minute, Gibbs left with a bottle of Rum. As soon as he was gone, Lucy placed the
tampered bottles of Rum with the other bottles. "There must be about twenty bottles here!" She
complained. "How do we get him to take this one?"
Dave sighed. "Your talent?" He reminded her. "Make them all tampered."
"Oh right." Lucy replied, blushing, and was glad she couldn't be seen. "Okay, all set."
"Good, let's get out of here." Dave remarked, pulling her along. "We'll wait for them in Port
Royal."
*************************************************************************
FUN FACT: "Mad Magazine", when they covered the Oscars, they had this to say in reguards
to Johnny Depp ie Jack Sparrow--
"Why he should win: Because unlike Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai" he intentionaly made
himself look ridiculous as an Action hero"
"Why he shouln't win: He looks just a little too comfortable in that eye-liner and swishy pirate
get-up for it to be totally attributed to acting."
[grins] and they had a really cute picture too.
As you all know, Johnny did not win the Oscar or the Golden Globe....however...he DID win
Best Actor in the Screenactor's Guild Awards, so there ARE some people who loved his work.
we now return you to our story.....
************************************************************************
MEANWHILE, IN PORT ROYAL............
Commadore Icecream-cone head....I mean Doofus Jackoff--um I mean Norrington was starting to
get impatient. He had sent several of his men out to look for any sign of the "desert men", and
yet none of them had found anyone resembling what had been described. Annoyed, he was
now off to find the men who had been working earlier.
"You know, he DOES kind of look like a Marti-Gras Float." Cassi remarked, as they watched
him walk by.
Sven nodded. "Where's the pirates?" She asked. "Lucy and Dave should have been back by
now."
"I'm bored." Romano spoke up, yawning. "When does it get exciting?"
"When Langly gets busted?" Julian retorted, leaning against a wall.
Pippin cranned his neck and stood on tiptoe so see better. "What's a Marti-Gras float?" He
asked, pointedly.
"Did he invent the dollar bill?" Prince John questioned, eyeing the Commodore. "He sure
looks like that guy."
"Don't be silly." Sven quipped, giving him a shove. "George Washington invented the dollar
bill. Everyone knows that."
Romano stared at her as if she suddenly became normal. "Sometimes I really wonder about you
two." He remarked under his breath. "What do we do until the pirates come?"
Cassi held out a roll of toilet paper. "You can go play on the Dauntless." She suggested.
Romano eyed the toilet paper. "Why? Are there dead people there?" He aked, slyly.
"Not yet." Cassi told him, pointedly.
"I seen DEAD people!" A voice suddenly spoke up near them.
"Very funny, Malatucci." Romano snapped, deliberately saying his name wrong.
Dave appeared, with Lucy beside him, and both were wearing sly grins.
"I assume by the demented grins, you both got your job done." Sven replied, with an expectant
look.
"We got it on the ship." Dave assured them. "How long it takes before they drink it is your
guess."
"Great." Elizabeth murmured. "So what do we do in the meantime?"
"I wonder if the bar here has a Happy Hour." Freddy mused, looking around.
Romano rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't bet on them knowing what Happy Hour is here." He
retorted, bluntly. "Besides, it's only a matter of time before they see us here, and Cassi's
outfit isn't really what you'd call period clothing."
Cassi looked down at her outfit. "Hey, this is period clothing!" She defended.
"What period even classifies that as a shirt?" He pointed out, eyeing Cassi's off the shoulder
top with a blue lace-up bodice over the top.
Cassi raised an eyebrow. "1985." She informed him. "Nancy and Ann Wilson and Marie
Fredriksson used to dress like this all the time."
"Who?" Pippin asked, frowning.
"Heart and Roxette." Sven told him. "Don't ask."
"Nice tattoo, by the way." Romano went on. "Is that real or a stick-on?"
"Stick on." Cassi answered, honestly. "You can't keep changing the real ones." She paused,
and before Romano could open his mouth, she went on. "And the lip-ring is fake. I thought it
was cute."
Pippin stared at her. "Why?"
"You don't wanna know." Sven remarked quickly. "However, you guys just got us busted,
because here comes Doofus Jackoff."
"Right. Try to act natural." Cassi ordered the group, and pasted on a bright clueless smile as
the Commodore approached.
However, the group quickly realized they didn't have to say anything. The Commodore was too
busy standing with a shocked openmouthed stare as he took in the appearance of the group.
"Someone should tell him to close his mouth." Pippin whispered. "He could swallow a bug
like that."
"Close your mouth!" The wall suddenly spoke up loudly. "You'll eat a bug like that!"
Before anyone could explain anything, Norrington fainted. The group looked at each other
and shrugged.
"It must be the Spiderman t-shirt." Cassi concluded.
"Yeah, that MUST be it." Electro quipped.
"Oh right, God forbid it would be the lip-ring." Romano said sarcastically.
Cassi kneeled down looking at the Commodore's outfit. "He has nice boots." She remarked with
a grin, before she proceeded to remove the boots and try them on.
"Dibs on his sword!" Sven called, snatching it.
"Oooh, I want his jacket." Lucy cried, excitedly. "That would be so cool for Halloween!"
Romano and Elizabeth exchanged a glance and Romano held up a magic marker with a sly
grin. "It works for Jigglypuff." He proclaimed, leaning over to draw on the unconcious man's
face. He handed Elizabeth a purple marker. "Here, help me give him a makeover."
Elizabeth chewed her lip with an amused smile and then turned the Commodore over to write,
"Kick me" in large letters on the back of his shirt.
"Somebody get that rug off his head and bury it somewhere." Sven added, trying out the sword.
"Better plan." Freddy spoke up, pulling out a can of pink spray paint. He grinned as he sprayed
the wig half pink, and then switched for a green can, spraying the other half.
"Oh yeah, total fashion statement." Cassi declaired, proudly. "Now let's get out of here before
we get caught."
Pippin stepped back, now wearing Norrington's hat on his own head. "That was fun." He
announced. "What do we do now?"
"Now we leave before that pansy the Shaver-man, comes along and arrests us." Sven told him.
"That what?" Dor questioned, staring.
"Gillette." Cassi informed him. "The guy who invented comfortable razors for shaving with. I
have one."
"Somebody's coming!" John called out in a frantic whisper, motioning for all of them to scatter.
In less than a second, the group had vanished.....thanks to Dave, just before one William
Turner came around the corner. And as the blacksmith/elf lookalike saw the Commodore who
had just been mugged, his own mouth hit the ground. "Elizabeth!" He called out, panicked.
"I think you'd better SEE this!"
"Leggo's twin brother." Romano whispered, with a snicker. "The whelp."
"Yeah, he's playing Spiderman." Sven informed the group.
Romano gave a smirk. "Cute. Spiderwhelp." He put in. "I like it."
"Good, you're playing Jameson." Sven told him, honestly.
Then the group hushed as Elizabeth Swann-Turner rounded the corner and also stared open-
mouthed.
"This group doesn't seem to need bug-zappers in this town." Cassi pointed out.
"If they actually catch one like that, I'm laughing." Dave retorted.
Romano shook his head. "This is just beautiful." He mused. "We're in this town, what five
minutes? And already we mugged the Commodore."
"Yeah." Sven agreed. "But then we don't have cable, so we have to do something for fun."
"Who would DO such a thing?!" Elizabeth demanded.
Will looked up at her with a frown. "I was actually wondering HOW they did this." He admitted,
touching the green and pink wig. His fingers came away with green and pink paint, as it had not
had time to dry yet. "And whoever did it, didn't do it that long ago. I think this is paint."
"Sniff closer." John quipped. "Maybe you'll get high."
Lucy was now eyeing Elizabeth's dress. "Oh, great..." she muttered. "Now I can't eat tonight.
She's making my hips look humongous."
"You'd look like that too, if you wore a corset." Sven pointed out.
"No way in hell." Lucy remarked, flatly. "Cute dress though."
"That is so not right." Elizabeth Corday complained. "Look at that figure. I'd have to starve
for a month to look like that."
Romano looked the girl up and down. "I didn't know it was possible to look that skinny." He
remarked. "Unless you count Cassi, of course, but Cassi's not really normal."
"I don't think I like her." Lizzie went on.
"Me neither." Lucy added.
Romano rolled his eyes, not wanting to know why chicks were obsessed with how small their
waist was. "If it's any consolation, Lizzie..." He remarked. "You have her beat, hands down."
"From the neck up." Dave smirked, ducking a series of braindusters.
While this stimulating conversation was going on, all were ignoring what was being said about
the poor mugged Commodore.
"Do you hear what I hear?" Will whispered to Elizabeth.
"A song, a song, dancing in the wind, that would bring us goodness and light..." Dave started
singing rather loudly. However, that was as far as he got before he was clubbed by four people.
Unfortunately, the Turners were now staring over at where the group was standing, still invisible.
"Nice going, Fathead!" Romano snapped. "Why don't you just put an ad in the paper and
announce to the world your stupidity!?"
Pippin frowned. "Fathead's still in the Shadow World until the next spoof." He pointed out.
"Can I crispy-fry him?" Electro asked in his child-like voice....which we know MUST have
sounded bad to the people present. "He was way off-key and I hate that song."
"I like that song." Cassi argued. "But that was terrible. Fry him."
"You fry me, and all the world sees you!" Dave warned.
"They're already looking at us like we came from the moon, who cares?" Romano pointed out.
"Fry him!"
For some reason, Will and Elizabeth were already pulling the Commodore away when the
bolt of electricity struck Dave and the whole group became visible....with the exception of
Freddy who had obviously left to see about 'Happy Hour'.
"That was fun!" Electro crowed, triumphantly, standing over the smoking corpse. "Can I do it
again?"
"No, we have to bring him back." Cassi told him. "Go torch something else."
"Cas?" Romano called out. "I think you and Sven need to explain yourselves." He motioned to
the young couple and the dazed Commodore, who was starting to come around.
"Certainly." Cassi spoke up, walking over to the trio. "My friends, there really is a rational
explaination for all of this!" She announced.
"Well, I would certainly like to hear it." Norrington spoke up with a glare.
With a completely serious face, Cassi opened her mouth to answer and then her face took on
a horrified look as she focused on something above them. "LOOK! FLYING PURPLE
MONKEYS!!!" She cried pointing.
The trio looked up, trying to figure out what it was that she'd been pointing at, and the group
quickly scattered in about twelve different directions, with the exception of Lucy Knight, who
calmly stood, staring at the Commodore.
"Oh yeah." She added, with a serious look. "This is for trying to hang my boyfriend." Before
anyone could figure out what she was doing, she had changed his entire outfit into a pink
frilly dress, then yanked out a camera, snapping off a picture. "This one is going to be framed
on Captain Jack's wall!" She announced, running off.
"Jack Sparrow." Norrington fumed. "I might have known he'd have something to do with this."
Off to the side he was now hearing what sounded like stiffled giggles. He turned sharply to see
Will and Elizabeth with their hands clamped in their mouths, trying not to laugh out loud. Seeing
them, he abruptly looked down at his attire, and realized exactly what he looked like. A mortified
look of horror crossed his face and he made a mad dash for the nearest building, which just
happened to be the Blacksmith shop. Will and Elizabeth exchanged a glance, busted out
laughing, and managed to stagger into the shop after him.
*************************************************************************
End part three. And next time, in comes the Black Pearl! But then, I suppose they were expecting
that ship to show up SOME time soon. For now, we'll leave you with the mental image of
the good Commodore with a pink and green wig, his markered on face, and cute frilly pink dress
with the "Kick Me" sign on the back. He should be lucky Lucy didn't put him in Patent leather
Mary Jane Buckle shoes as well.
Please leave your reviews after the beep
BEEP!
been VERY busy the last couple of weeks. Arg....sorry, got a cut on my thumb and typing is
making it hurt. Anyway, we should get a few more changed into five year olds before the end of
this section. I probably won't type anything in this one tonight. I haven't had a lot of sleep the
last few days......because I've been typing. I typed from one in the morning until seven in the
morning.....and the night before I had only had about three and a half hours of sleep. So as I said.
I'm about to pass out now. But I have to work on the story I'm going to publish first. So it's
doubtful that any story will get in this one tonight. Hey, I typed a LOT last night. I finished
the whole last section. Now where to go in this section.......of course if I had more REVIEWS....
it might get somewhere faster....to all of you who HAVE reviewed.....thankyouverymuch!!! I will
work on getting you who want in....in. I still have to print out yours Becca........as you can tell
from the email you got....things around here have been well a bit on the hectic side.....hmm
**************************************************************************
A/N A month later....I think....Cassi is in the typing chair! And on some good drugs as it's been
raining, my legs hurt and I have another migrane which probably came when I found out that
the boot repair man can't fix my favorite boots. Black suede leather thigh high flat 80's boots.
They don't make these anymore....all the more reason I was not happy. Speaking of which,
if anyone knows where I can find a new pair, less than 100 bucks, let me know. zip up in the
back and laces at the sides at the top....and the normal pointy toes, not those ugly square roach
stompers they sell now...and not TOO pointy. I've seen a couple that if you were to kick some
guy in the nuts with these, they'd never have kids...ooh, and one had chrome toes! Apparently,
the guy would have to rebuild the entire soles of the boots and replace the toe of one. Right,
this is a story, not a complaint about the fashions of boots now a days....and I REALLY wanna
find a pair of black lace up heeled ankle boots, like what they wear in the "Heart" music videos
of the 80's....but I can't find these either..and the boot repair man said those are completely
dead since I ripped the heal loose in the back. [sue me, they were 13 years old] I wore them to
death...much like the thigh-highs...grumble grumble....right, we were writing a story here. Fine,
I'll stop griping and get to typing something you really wanna read.
**************************************************************************
FUN FACT: Shoes do not grow on trees in the real world......[Cassi holds her dead boots, with
a Wolvie Pout] I want a second opinion! [and the name of a place that specializes in 80's boots]
**************************************************************************
CHAPTER THREE "FIVE MINUTES IN THE TOWN & WE MUGGED THE COMMODORE"
************************************************************************
--short pause while Cassi changes the screen colors to avoid worse headache...now on with
the Breaktime Spoof!--Also for confusion's sake, if you've not seen the extra features on the
POtC DVD2, or even in the Commentary with Kiera and Jack Davenport (Commodor), Jack
Davenport was not happy with his costume. He said he looked ridiculous, and that his wig
looked like "an ice-cream sundae" and somewhere in there was "how much brocade can a man
wear and not be classified as a Marti-Gras float?", and he was so jealous because the pirates
had better costumes--If you have not seen their commentary, WATCH IT! It's a riot!--
Now back to the story--
*****************************
ON THE BLACK PEARL(somewhere in the Caribbean)
******************************************
Lucy was standing not four feet from Jack and AnaMaria, trying not to leap into his arms, and
knock him over. He missed her! That had to be a positive sign. Unfortunately, he had also
mentioned he'd missed Nicky. She gave a pouty face. "Figures" she thought to herself. "He
can have me at any time, and he'd rather be playing with an eight-year-old." **Pirate training,
only, this is Captain Jack Sparrow, not Michael Jackson.**
Next to her, Dave gave her a nudge. "If you can stop drooling, we can get our job done." He
whispered, not wanting the pirates to know of their presence.
The two were, of course, invisible thanks to Dave's talents, but that didn't mean they couldn't
be heard. For the sake of getting around quietly, the two had chosen to wear only their socks,
so their footfalls would not be heard. When he didn't recieve an answer from Lucy, whom he
assumed was right next to him, he reached out, grabbing her arm, and proceeded to pull her away
from the helm before anyone caught on to their presence. As Lucy and Jack had been seeing
a lot of each other, it would have been only a matter of seconds before he realized she was
there.
As soon as they were a safe distance from any of the pirates, Dave let go of her arm. "That
wasn't very nice." Lucy whispered, furiously. "I think you just briused my arm."
"And if you'd stayed any longer, mooning over Dear Captain Sparrow, he would have caught
both of us." Dave retorted, flatly. "We're here to leave them a present, not flirt."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "If you were to start flirting with him, I would have to tell your wife." She
snapped. "Besides, I saw him first. He's mine."
"Believe me, you can have him." Dave quipped. "He's really not my type. Now if you can focus
on the task at hand, we have to get this Rum to the Captain's quarters."
"This way." Lucy answered, pulling Dave through a doorway. "His is the biggest and nicest."
"And why am I not surprised you would know that?" Dave muttered.
"It's not what you think!" Lucy argued. "I was in there, but nothing happened....bummer."
Before either one could comment further, Gibbs walked into the room they were in. He seemed to
be looking for something. Lucy and Dave instantly quieted, and tried to stay out of his way, and
after a brief minute, Gibbs left with a bottle of Rum. As soon as he was gone, Lucy placed the
tampered bottles of Rum with the other bottles. "There must be about twenty bottles here!" She
complained. "How do we get him to take this one?"
Dave sighed. "Your talent?" He reminded her. "Make them all tampered."
"Oh right." Lucy replied, blushing, and was glad she couldn't be seen. "Okay, all set."
"Good, let's get out of here." Dave remarked, pulling her along. "We'll wait for them in Port
Royal."
*************************************************************************
FUN FACT: "Mad Magazine", when they covered the Oscars, they had this to say in reguards
to Johnny Depp ie Jack Sparrow--
"Why he should win: Because unlike Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai" he intentionaly made
himself look ridiculous as an Action hero"
"Why he shouln't win: He looks just a little too comfortable in that eye-liner and swishy pirate
get-up for it to be totally attributed to acting."
[grins] and they had a really cute picture too.
As you all know, Johnny did not win the Oscar or the Golden Globe....however...he DID win
Best Actor in the Screenactor's Guild Awards, so there ARE some people who loved his work.
we now return you to our story.....
************************************************************************
MEANWHILE, IN PORT ROYAL............
Commadore Icecream-cone head....I mean Doofus Jackoff--um I mean Norrington was starting to
get impatient. He had sent several of his men out to look for any sign of the "desert men", and
yet none of them had found anyone resembling what had been described. Annoyed, he was
now off to find the men who had been working earlier.
"You know, he DOES kind of look like a Marti-Gras Float." Cassi remarked, as they watched
him walk by.
Sven nodded. "Where's the pirates?" She asked. "Lucy and Dave should have been back by
now."
"I'm bored." Romano spoke up, yawning. "When does it get exciting?"
"When Langly gets busted?" Julian retorted, leaning against a wall.
Pippin cranned his neck and stood on tiptoe so see better. "What's a Marti-Gras float?" He
asked, pointedly.
"Did he invent the dollar bill?" Prince John questioned, eyeing the Commodore. "He sure
looks like that guy."
"Don't be silly." Sven quipped, giving him a shove. "George Washington invented the dollar
bill. Everyone knows that."
Romano stared at her as if she suddenly became normal. "Sometimes I really wonder about you
two." He remarked under his breath. "What do we do until the pirates come?"
Cassi held out a roll of toilet paper. "You can go play on the Dauntless." She suggested.
Romano eyed the toilet paper. "Why? Are there dead people there?" He aked, slyly.
"Not yet." Cassi told him, pointedly.
"I seen DEAD people!" A voice suddenly spoke up near them.
"Very funny, Malatucci." Romano snapped, deliberately saying his name wrong.
Dave appeared, with Lucy beside him, and both were wearing sly grins.
"I assume by the demented grins, you both got your job done." Sven replied, with an expectant
look.
"We got it on the ship." Dave assured them. "How long it takes before they drink it is your
guess."
"Great." Elizabeth murmured. "So what do we do in the meantime?"
"I wonder if the bar here has a Happy Hour." Freddy mused, looking around.
Romano rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't bet on them knowing what Happy Hour is here." He
retorted, bluntly. "Besides, it's only a matter of time before they see us here, and Cassi's
outfit isn't really what you'd call period clothing."
Cassi looked down at her outfit. "Hey, this is period clothing!" She defended.
"What period even classifies that as a shirt?" He pointed out, eyeing Cassi's off the shoulder
top with a blue lace-up bodice over the top.
Cassi raised an eyebrow. "1985." She informed him. "Nancy and Ann Wilson and Marie
Fredriksson used to dress like this all the time."
"Who?" Pippin asked, frowning.
"Heart and Roxette." Sven told him. "Don't ask."
"Nice tattoo, by the way." Romano went on. "Is that real or a stick-on?"
"Stick on." Cassi answered, honestly. "You can't keep changing the real ones." She paused,
and before Romano could open his mouth, she went on. "And the lip-ring is fake. I thought it
was cute."
Pippin stared at her. "Why?"
"You don't wanna know." Sven remarked quickly. "However, you guys just got us busted,
because here comes Doofus Jackoff."
"Right. Try to act natural." Cassi ordered the group, and pasted on a bright clueless smile as
the Commodore approached.
However, the group quickly realized they didn't have to say anything. The Commodore was too
busy standing with a shocked openmouthed stare as he took in the appearance of the group.
"Someone should tell him to close his mouth." Pippin whispered. "He could swallow a bug
like that."
"Close your mouth!" The wall suddenly spoke up loudly. "You'll eat a bug like that!"
Before anyone could explain anything, Norrington fainted. The group looked at each other
and shrugged.
"It must be the Spiderman t-shirt." Cassi concluded.
"Yeah, that MUST be it." Electro quipped.
"Oh right, God forbid it would be the lip-ring." Romano said sarcastically.
Cassi kneeled down looking at the Commodore's outfit. "He has nice boots." She remarked with
a grin, before she proceeded to remove the boots and try them on.
"Dibs on his sword!" Sven called, snatching it.
"Oooh, I want his jacket." Lucy cried, excitedly. "That would be so cool for Halloween!"
Romano and Elizabeth exchanged a glance and Romano held up a magic marker with a sly
grin. "It works for Jigglypuff." He proclaimed, leaning over to draw on the unconcious man's
face. He handed Elizabeth a purple marker. "Here, help me give him a makeover."
Elizabeth chewed her lip with an amused smile and then turned the Commodore over to write,
"Kick me" in large letters on the back of his shirt.
"Somebody get that rug off his head and bury it somewhere." Sven added, trying out the sword.
"Better plan." Freddy spoke up, pulling out a can of pink spray paint. He grinned as he sprayed
the wig half pink, and then switched for a green can, spraying the other half.
"Oh yeah, total fashion statement." Cassi declaired, proudly. "Now let's get out of here before
we get caught."
Pippin stepped back, now wearing Norrington's hat on his own head. "That was fun." He
announced. "What do we do now?"
"Now we leave before that pansy the Shaver-man, comes along and arrests us." Sven told him.
"That what?" Dor questioned, staring.
"Gillette." Cassi informed him. "The guy who invented comfortable razors for shaving with. I
have one."
"Somebody's coming!" John called out in a frantic whisper, motioning for all of them to scatter.
In less than a second, the group had vanished.....thanks to Dave, just before one William
Turner came around the corner. And as the blacksmith/elf lookalike saw the Commodore who
had just been mugged, his own mouth hit the ground. "Elizabeth!" He called out, panicked.
"I think you'd better SEE this!"
"Leggo's twin brother." Romano whispered, with a snicker. "The whelp."
"Yeah, he's playing Spiderman." Sven informed the group.
Romano gave a smirk. "Cute. Spiderwhelp." He put in. "I like it."
"Good, you're playing Jameson." Sven told him, honestly.
Then the group hushed as Elizabeth Swann-Turner rounded the corner and also stared open-
mouthed.
"This group doesn't seem to need bug-zappers in this town." Cassi pointed out.
"If they actually catch one like that, I'm laughing." Dave retorted.
Romano shook his head. "This is just beautiful." He mused. "We're in this town, what five
minutes? And already we mugged the Commodore."
"Yeah." Sven agreed. "But then we don't have cable, so we have to do something for fun."
"Who would DO such a thing?!" Elizabeth demanded.
Will looked up at her with a frown. "I was actually wondering HOW they did this." He admitted,
touching the green and pink wig. His fingers came away with green and pink paint, as it had not
had time to dry yet. "And whoever did it, didn't do it that long ago. I think this is paint."
"Sniff closer." John quipped. "Maybe you'll get high."
Lucy was now eyeing Elizabeth's dress. "Oh, great..." she muttered. "Now I can't eat tonight.
She's making my hips look humongous."
"You'd look like that too, if you wore a corset." Sven pointed out.
"No way in hell." Lucy remarked, flatly. "Cute dress though."
"That is so not right." Elizabeth Corday complained. "Look at that figure. I'd have to starve
for a month to look like that."
Romano looked the girl up and down. "I didn't know it was possible to look that skinny." He
remarked. "Unless you count Cassi, of course, but Cassi's not really normal."
"I don't think I like her." Lizzie went on.
"Me neither." Lucy added.
Romano rolled his eyes, not wanting to know why chicks were obsessed with how small their
waist was. "If it's any consolation, Lizzie..." He remarked. "You have her beat, hands down."
"From the neck up." Dave smirked, ducking a series of braindusters.
While this stimulating conversation was going on, all were ignoring what was being said about
the poor mugged Commodore.
"Do you hear what I hear?" Will whispered to Elizabeth.
"A song, a song, dancing in the wind, that would bring us goodness and light..." Dave started
singing rather loudly. However, that was as far as he got before he was clubbed by four people.
Unfortunately, the Turners were now staring over at where the group was standing, still invisible.
"Nice going, Fathead!" Romano snapped. "Why don't you just put an ad in the paper and
announce to the world your stupidity!?"
Pippin frowned. "Fathead's still in the Shadow World until the next spoof." He pointed out.
"Can I crispy-fry him?" Electro asked in his child-like voice....which we know MUST have
sounded bad to the people present. "He was way off-key and I hate that song."
"I like that song." Cassi argued. "But that was terrible. Fry him."
"You fry me, and all the world sees you!" Dave warned.
"They're already looking at us like we came from the moon, who cares?" Romano pointed out.
"Fry him!"
For some reason, Will and Elizabeth were already pulling the Commodore away when the
bolt of electricity struck Dave and the whole group became visible....with the exception of
Freddy who had obviously left to see about 'Happy Hour'.
"That was fun!" Electro crowed, triumphantly, standing over the smoking corpse. "Can I do it
again?"
"No, we have to bring him back." Cassi told him. "Go torch something else."
"Cas?" Romano called out. "I think you and Sven need to explain yourselves." He motioned to
the young couple and the dazed Commodore, who was starting to come around.
"Certainly." Cassi spoke up, walking over to the trio. "My friends, there really is a rational
explaination for all of this!" She announced.
"Well, I would certainly like to hear it." Norrington spoke up with a glare.
With a completely serious face, Cassi opened her mouth to answer and then her face took on
a horrified look as she focused on something above them. "LOOK! FLYING PURPLE
MONKEYS!!!" She cried pointing.
The trio looked up, trying to figure out what it was that she'd been pointing at, and the group
quickly scattered in about twelve different directions, with the exception of Lucy Knight, who
calmly stood, staring at the Commodore.
"Oh yeah." She added, with a serious look. "This is for trying to hang my boyfriend." Before
anyone could figure out what she was doing, she had changed his entire outfit into a pink
frilly dress, then yanked out a camera, snapping off a picture. "This one is going to be framed
on Captain Jack's wall!" She announced, running off.
"Jack Sparrow." Norrington fumed. "I might have known he'd have something to do with this."
Off to the side he was now hearing what sounded like stiffled giggles. He turned sharply to see
Will and Elizabeth with their hands clamped in their mouths, trying not to laugh out loud. Seeing
them, he abruptly looked down at his attire, and realized exactly what he looked like. A mortified
look of horror crossed his face and he made a mad dash for the nearest building, which just
happened to be the Blacksmith shop. Will and Elizabeth exchanged a glance, busted out
laughing, and managed to stagger into the shop after him.
*************************************************************************
End part three. And next time, in comes the Black Pearl! But then, I suppose they were expecting
that ship to show up SOME time soon. For now, we'll leave you with the mental image of
the good Commodore with a pink and green wig, his markered on face, and cute frilly pink dress
with the "Kick Me" sign on the back. He should be lucky Lucy didn't put him in Patent leather
Mary Jane Buckle shoes as well.
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