Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is about to be read. I do own Mr. Janitor.

A/N: The last chapter?! NO! IT CAN'T BE


THE WEAKEST LINK

The Final Four

Chapter 12

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

Roy, Ness, a KOed Falco, Yoshi and Mr. Janitor dissapeared within the mighty flames. Once the fire died down, they could see what happened. "Oooooh...My head...my freakeshly huge head..." Ness said, standing up.

"So...why didn't Roy's attack work?"

"STOP REFERRING TO YOURSELF IN THE THRID PERSON! IT'S NOT GOOD!"

"But Roy likes it when Roy hear's Roy's name." Roy said with a smile, but was then whacked over the head by a bat. "I see...flying monkeys...Hey look! It's Mawhuaiionomijki, the king of monkeys! PRAISE MAWHUAIIONOMIJKI!" He said as he past out.

"Ahem. Now, as Roy was saying..." Ness said, walking over to Mr. Janitor. "HOW COME THE DOOR DIDN'T GO KA-BOOM!?" Mr. Janitor's body was completely black and his eyes had X's on them. "YO! MR. JANITOR!!!" He started to shake the body but to no avail, Mr. Janitor was dead. "Oh my god...Roy just killed a janitor..."

"Ow...BANK..." Yoshi moaned. "I feel like a thousand Smurfs just ran me over and poked me with sticks that were on fire, BANK!"

Ness walked up to the door to see if Anne was gone. "Hmm..." He said, putting his ear to the door. "I don't hear anything..."

"HEY LOOK!" Yoshi said, holding up a book reading, 'So YOU want to work in the Italian Mafia'. "I've just changed my name, BANK!"

"Whats your name?"

"Frank."

"Frank?"

"Um..." Yoshi read the book's author names again. "It says here in big bold print, FRANK R., so it must be, BANK! Bold print is always important, BANK!"

Ness took the book, set it on fire, stomped on the flames, then threw the ashes at Yoshi. "This is no time to be reading!"

"Ooough..." Falco said, waking up. "Where...where am I?"

"Yo, that bird owes me money." Yoshi said in a even cheaper Italian accent then Mario and Luigi. He took out a bat, jumped on Falco and started to beat him.

"YOSHI!!!" Ness yelled, grabbing the bat from the dino. "Hey! We all know that beating people with bats is for the middle-ages. We use swords now!" He said, holding up Roy's sword.

Just then, the Yeti brusted through the steel door, holding Mewtwo's body. "Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrooooooo!" It roared, picking up Roy and Falco's bodies aswell.

"YETI!" Ness smiled hugging his leg. "I knew you would never leave me!"

"Ha-ha!" Anne yelled, pulling out a cue card. "I have you right where I want you..."

Yeti, Ness, and Yoshi turned around to see Anne standing there with her card. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YETI! USE ICE BEAM!!!" Ness yelled. The battle music from Pokemon games began to play. Yeti dropped the bodies and fired a ice beam. Anne quickly read the question.

"What's the tallest mountain in the world!!!" The Ice Beam stopped mid track. Anne jumped up and pulled out another cue-card. "What is the shorter version of Pi!" Yeti was sent flying back into the wall.

"Yeti! Don't give up, BANK!" Yoshi yelled. Yeti lifted his head, but his body fell to the ground, knocked out cold.

"Yeti is unable to battle!" Brock said, holding up his left arm up. "Anne is the winner!"

"YETI! RETURN!!" Ness held out a pokeball and 'returned' Yeti. He took out another. "GO....GUY WITH MANY NAME!!" He threw the pokeball and out popped...KIRBY!!

"Kirby, Kirby!" Kirby said like a pokemon. "Wait...What da hell did joo do to me?!" He yelled back at Ness.

"Go Kirby! Use your sucking action and suck her up!"

Kirby looked around confused before walking up to Anne, kicking her in the leg, then running behind a wall. Brock held up his left arm again. "Kirby refuses to battle! Anne is the win-" Brock then popped. They all turned to see Peach in sun glasses and that same very VERY scary smile on her face, holding some form of gun.

She took off the sun glasses and turned to Anne. "Go ahead Anne...make my day." Peach pointed the gun at Anne and fired magical sparkels at the hostess.

Anne jumped over the sparkles, which hit Falco and turned him into a peice of pie. She reached into her pocket and took out another cue-card. "What is the japanese word for Good Afternoon!" Peach looked as if she was punched in the gut and dropped her gun. "It's time to die again tomorrow today forever! YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK! GOODBYE!!" Peach past out on the floor.

Anne turned around with a big smirk on her face only to see... "Master Hand..." She mubbled.

"Hello Anne." The Giant Hand said, picking her up.

"PUT ME DOWN!!" Anne yelled as she tried to escape his grip. "I DEMAND RIGHTS!" She reached for a cue-card. "What is the popular Mexican hat dance used for?!" She yelled before Master Hand threw her into another closet and locked the door. "GRR! I DON'T GET IT!!" She yelled.

"What? I can't hear you...your going to have to speak into the mircophone." Master Hand laughed and all those who survived the warth of Anne headed back towards the Weakest Link recording place thingy.

"YOU MAY HAVE WON THE BATTLE, BUT YOU HAVE NOT WON THE WAR HAND!!!"

"Go Girlfriend!" Said a certain little yellow rodent bent on killing Master Hand.

---Weakest Link place---

The power was back on, Roy, Bowser and Ness were back in one peice, and anyone else who we saw are fine. However, Mojo and Tsukasa's bodies where never found, but they figured it was best left as it is. Kirby did have a very tasty peice of pie though. "I am so very sorry about this whole mess." Master Hand apologized. "But now that Anne is back in the closet, we can begin...THE WEAKEST LINK!!"

"But, I don't get it..." Ness said. "How come her question didn't effect you?"

Master Hand gave a cheap laugh. "My dear boy, I have no ears, for I am just a floating hand."

"But how can you spe-"

"THAT IS ENOUGH!!! Let's not go into the wonders of nature." Master Hand floated back to the podium. "Listen guys, at the end, I want you to either vote for Bowser...Ness...or Roy. Nothing else, okay? Just don't vote youself." The three Smashers nodded. "Oh what am I kidding, they have the attention span of fly...We ended on Roy so let's begin the last round of...THE WEAKEST LINK! Bowser, what is the color of the sky. Here's a hint." He pressed a small button and the banner saying "BLUE" came down over his head with blue peices of papers as cheerleaders with blue pom-poms and blue flags marched in from both sides.

Bowser stared amazed. "WOW!!! We must be at Bloo's birthday party! YEY!!! I LOVE THAT LITTLE BLOB!!!"

"Did you say, Blue?"

"Yes, I said Bloo."

"Okay, we'll give it to you. (Money- $20/Bank- $150) Ness, how many years do you have to be in high school before your graduate, most of the time?"

"OH! I KNOW THIS!!" Ness coughed and the graduation march music began playing. "I've finished my homework! I've finished each test! I'm done with my teachers, Check me out, I'm the best!!! No more need for those Cliff Notes, no more rushing to claaaaaaass. I'm offically history, You can kissssss my assssssss!!! I'm Graduating, The woooorld can kissssssss my asssssss!"

"Wrong. (Money- $0/Bank- $150) Roy-"

"Shush!" Roy said, sitting Idian style on the ground. "Roy is talking with Roy's king."

"Your king?"

"Yes...Mawhuaiionomijki..." Roy's eyes opened. "He's here..." A giant floating purple monkey decended from the heavens in all its glory. "King Mawhuaiionomijki!"

"Hell-o all you little peo-ple." The mono-tone Mawhuaiionomijki said.

"What have you Roy do, oh great one?" Roy asked to the Monkey King...which only he could see...

"Roy..." Master Hand said. "Maybe this whole Anne stuff has...um...sent you off the deep end..."

"My King...HE COMANDS ROY TO-" Roy started to dance. "Walk like and Egyptian!"

"Uh-huh... Bowser, how many years do locust stay under ground for?"

"Blinky knew this..." Bowser said with a sad sigh. "But...HE'S GONE!!! ALL BECAUSE OF MEWTWO!!! DIE MEWTWO!!!" He said, holding up a Mewtwo Vodo doll and stuck a pin in it's eye. "HAHA!!! DIE!"

"You know for those to work you need a hair or something that belongs to the person." Ness told him. "And I see you don't have any Mewtwo Hair on it."

"Well, I tried...But...It's three thousand dollars!!!" Bowser whined. "So I just used this." He said, point to a eyelash.

"Who's is that?"

"Dunno..."

---Somewhere across the univerise---

"OW! MY EYE! MY EYEEEEEE!!!" Master Eye yelled. "DAMN IT, WHO POKED ME IN MY EYE!!!"

---Back with the others---

"Ness, is you hold a prism up to light, what colors does it break up into?"

"The rainbow!!!" Ness said with a smile.

"Good job!" (Money- $20/Bank- $150) Roy years was 'Disco' popular?"

"Before Roy answers..." Roy said, looking up at his invisable monkey. "Roy is comanded to say, bank." (Money- $0/Bank- $170). "Mawhuaiionomijki now tells me to say...Pikachu..."

"Pikachu is not a year of time." Master Hand sighed.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!

"Well guys..." Master Hand said, with a small, very tiny, almost you couldn't hear tone of sadness in his voice. "It's time for to vote off...the last...WEAKEST LINK!"

"Ness is the strongest link this time and Roy is the weakest." Said Mr. Voice.

"Okay, times up. Let's see who you voted for."

VOTES:

Bowser: "Mewtwo is evil."

Ness: "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, does he look like?! IIIIIIIIIIIII wish I knew!"

Roy: "Mawhuaiionomijki is our king. Bow to him."

Master Hand coughed. "As I thought. Ness, you are the strongest link so you can vote off who you want."

Ness lifted his finger and pointed...AT ROY!!! Thunder boomed, a woman screamed and someone's nails ran down a chalkboard. "Him."

"ROY?!?!?!?!!" Roy yelled. "WHAT HAS ROY EVER DONE TO YOU!!"

"Well, one, you blew me up." Ness started counting. "Two, everyone likes you. Three, you speak in the third person."

"Well Roy, It seems you are the guy who likes to put stickers on the back of the kid who sits infront of you in school. You are the Weakest Link, GOODBYE!!" Roy left as thousands of fangirls screamed.

Final words of Roy-

"Mawhuaiionomijki is Roy's hero...but now Roy needs comfort in Fangirls!!" He lifted his arms. "COME FANGIRLS, COME!" Thousand of fangirls and one or two fanboys, came up and huttled around the redhead as he told the story of Mawhuaiionomijki.

---Back with the others---

"Can you believe it?" Master Hand said with a smile. "We've done it. We're down to the last two! We are almost done! Isn't it amazing?!" He turned to Bowser and Ness. "It's time to play...ONE ON ONE!!!"


BOWSER VS NESS!

"Ha! Well, time to go over the rules. You each must answer fiv- WHAT?! FIVE?! HELLLLLLL NO! You both must answer three right. If you both answer the three right...well...it's a tie then, I guess. Are you two ready?" Both Ness and Bowser nodded. "Then it's time to play, THE FINAL ROUND! We're gonna start with Bowser. What was the year DVDs were invented?"

"Um, 1776." Bowser smiled.

"Wrong. Ness, How many episodes of .hack/SIGN are they're all together?"

"28! HAHA! I watch the show."

"Right! (Bowser- 00/Ness- 01). Bowser what is 22?"

"Uh...UH!!!" Bowser looked around the room. "SEVEN OR BARNEY!!!"

"Wrong. Who invented the Rubix Cube?"

"Dunno. Some guy named Rubix?"

"Correct. (Bowser- 00/Ness- 02) Bowser, what does TLC stand for."

"Tender Loving Care?"

"Wrong. Ness, what is the popular name for a printer?"

"Hmm...I'm gonna say soap."

"Wrong. Bowser, Gundam Wing is a what?"

"ANIME!!!" He said jumping up and down. "I loved that show!"

"Correct. (Bowser- 01/Ness- 02) Ness, what falls from the sky around December?"

"Soap suds, dude!"

"Wrong. Bowser, in 'Earthbound', what is Ness's father?"

"His father is his daddy."

"He was a phone." Ness cried. "HE NEVER CAME HOME TO SPEND TIME WITH ME!!!"

"Oh, then I said phone."

"Correct. (Bowser- 02/Ness- 02) This is it. Both players are on 2 questions each...Ness, what-

"Did you know my hat is made in china?" He said, looking at the lable.

"Wrong. Bowser, is another name for a fear?"

"PHOBIA!! I know because the man in the white shirt told me I had one..."

"CORRECT!!!" (Bowser- 03/Ness- 02) "Ness, if you don't get this right, Bowser wins." Ness nodded. "What is the name of my brother..."

Ness started to sweat. "Um...Can I use a lifeline?"

"WE HAVE LIFELINES?!" Roy yelled from the audience.

"NO! YOU DO NOT HAVE LIFELINES!! AND BOWSER IS THE WINNER!!!" Master Hand slapped Ness away into some garbage can, grabbed Bowser and put him on a floating sofa as giant banners saying:


BOWSER WINS!!!!!

Decended all around them. "Look at him!" Master Hand started to sing. "Just loooooook at him! He's the winner! The winner! How can this beeeeee? Is he smarter then meeeeeeeeeeeee?! Not a chance. Booooooooooooowser! Booooooooooooooowser! You have wooooooooon!" He sang with not real tune in mind.

Bowser was handed a tiara, flowers, and a sash saying, 'MISS STRONGEST LINK'. "You've made me the happiest Koopa in the world!" He said, hugging Master Hand.

Ness stuck his head out and cried. "No! That should have been me!!"

"So uh...you need that turtle...you know...out of the picture?" Came the fake accent of Yoshi. "I can...you know..."

"I'm...not sure I'm following."

"You know...I can whack him. You understand, right?"

"No. And I think you should read the full book before acting like a mafia dude." Ness crawled out of the can. "So I'm just gonna walk away very slowly."

"Sure. You can just call me when you need him...ya know..." The dino said, disappearing into the shadows.

"Congratulations Bowser. Your the strongest link. And you also win a full 170 dollars. Now, I have to get out of here before my mind goes numb with all you idiots. See you next time, well, it will be Anne, really, but for the sake of the show, SEE YOU NEXT TIME ON...THE WEAKEST LINK!!!"

THE END!

Well, there will be an Epilogue.

A/N: Amazing. The Weakest Link saga in my life is over. Enjoy this...um...'Odder' chapter? Well, look for an Epilogue, coming VERY SOON!!