Author's Note: Thanks to the reviewers, I'd do it personally, but my internet connection is down (what else is new?) and I can't remember names. But Thanks!

By supper, everyone had realized that Harry Potter was missing, and the whole school seemed subdued.

Correction, Hermione thought, everyone but the Slytherins seemed subdued. The snakes, on the other hand, were literally partying, confetti fluttering around, balloons floating through the air. Snape had supplied butterbeer.

Dumbledore stood abruptly, knocking a bowl of mashed potatoes into McGonagall's lap. Nodding distractedly at her, he muttered, "Good look on you, Minerva." She gave him an incredulous stare, which he ignored.

"Students," he called. No one even looked up. "Students," he tried again. Same reaction.

McGonagall shook her head and muttered , "Sonorus."

Dumbledore, not noticing this, snapped, "Bloody students, pay attention!" Everyone looked at him in shock. "Umm, right, well, Harry Potter has been captured by the Death Eaters. That is all." He sat back down, popping a lemon drop into his mouth.

The Great Hall erupted into cries of "What??" and "NO!" Hufflepuffs were fainting, eyes huge and terrified. A Ravenclaw boy stood calmly and announced, "We're all going to die," then sat back down.

At the Gryffindor table, the shock had worn off and Seamus and Ron stood, crying, "So we rescue him! Who's with us?"

That got Dumbledore's attention like nothing else could. "There will be no rescue missions! Anyone who attempts one," for some reason, he looked at the Slytherin table (who had all gone silent), before realizing he was glaring in the wrong direction. Turning to face Gryffindor, he repeated, "Anyone who attempts one will lose 2500 House points, that is, per student, and will also be serving detention with Filch, who I have informed will be allowed to use the chains."

Ron and Seamus slowly sunk back down into their seats, both looking at Hermione pleadingly. She looked just as lost as them.

"Great time for your infinite knowledge to wear off, Mione," Ron muttered sarcastically. He was promptly hit.

Draco looked at Blaise, a tiny smile playing across his lips. So, they finally had Potter? He needed to owl his father, get details. He wanted to revel in every second of the Boy-Who-Lived's downfall.

The Professors had surrounded Dumbledore, obviously trying to come up with a plan of action. This was fairly useless, as Dumbledore (who'd never removed the Sonurus, allowing everybody to hear him) kept saying, "There's nothing we can do now," and then eating another lemon drop. The twinkle in his eyes seemed to be turned on high, and his left eye was twitching slightly.

With a sigh, McGonagall removed the charm from the Headmaster, doing the same charm on herself. "Students," she called. As everyone looked up, she continued, "I ask all of the Prefects to calmly lead those of your house back to your common rooms. I assure you, the situation is being dealt with."

As she spoke, Snape and his best friend the DADA teacher were dragging Dumbledore towards his office. He protested loudly, yelling, "Save the lemon drops! Save the lemon drops!!"

Voldemort sat in a high backed chair facing the cold fireplace on a northerly wall of a previously deserted mansion. A giant snake wrapped its way around the legs of the chair as Lucius Malfoy strode into the room, coming to kneel before his master.

"What is it, my Devoted?" The Dark Lord hissed through his snake-like features. To Lucius' credit, he didn't flinch at the pale ugliness and completely non-villain voice of his master.

"It has been announced, my Lord, that Harry Potter has been captured by your faithful Death Eaters, and I have come to find whether this rumor is true or not." Lucius remained kneeling, an odd sight for anyone but the Dark Lord.

Voldemort's red-slit eyes opened as wide as his face would allow," Really?" he asked, not bothering to cover the amazement in his voice," Where did you hear such news?"

Lucius held out a piece of parchment to his master who snatched it from his hands and read:

Father,

Dumbledore just announced to the students that Potter has been apprehended by the Death Eaters. Please tell me it's true! I need to know every detail! Who got him? Are they torturing him? Can I help if they are? Father, this is wonderful! Please owl me soon!

Draco

Voldemort's hands shook as he finished reading the scrawling print and a wide smile split his face. A strange sound began emanating from him, like many short hisses and wheezes, Lucius looked up to his master's face to find the Lord bent forward laughing. Suddenly Voldemort stood up and began shuffling his feet and waving his arms in the air in a terrible interpretation of a snoopy dance.

"We've got him! We've finally got him!" Voldemort squealed," Wormtail! Wormtail!"

A scrawny, rat-like man scuffled into the room, cowering before the Dark Lord.

"Yes Master?" Wormtail asked.

"Who caught Harry Potter? Where is he being held? Are we torturing him right this minute?" Voldemort took a break in his dancing to look at the rat-man, his snake-like features twisted into an expression that was most likely hopeful.

"Uh, I-I, uh, that is, we, umm, we don't have him, My Lord." Then Wormtail turned on his heel and fled the room.

Voldemort stomped his foot, doing a wonderful impression of a three year old having a temper tantrum. "Damn it! Somebody will be crucio'd for this!"

Lucius looked up at his Lord, a trace of fear in his eyes, quickly standing and fleeing from the room as well.

Voldemort sat heavily into his chair once more and pouted.

Harry scowled at the half-written essay on the desk in front of him. Okay, so it was two sentences and a little sad face in the margin. He took a minute to ponder the fact that his parchment had margins, and then realized what he was doing. "Bloody hell! Bad enough they lock me in a bank vault, of all places, I refuse to do Snape's potions homework! What are they going to do, give me detention? Good!"

Standing, consequently knocking over the chair he'd been sitting in, he looked at it in exasperation.

"You deserve it, bloody chair." Harry realized he was talking to an inanimate object and promptly smacked himself in the forehead. "I've got to get out of here!"

He strode back over to the desk and scrawled on a piece of parchment:

Help! I'm locked in a bank vault! 816! Please send help soon!

He rolled the parchment up and looked around for Hed-oh. Damn. Well, maybe the teachers didn't know of his predicament, McGonagall wouldn't actually allow this would she? So he unrolled the parchment once more and wrote the incantation which would send it to McGonagall as homework on the bottom. It immediately disappeared.

Harry sat leisurely on his bed, soaking the heat up from the fire when an omnipresent voice suddenly sounded in the room.

"No, no, Mr. Potter. Can't have you sending in this type of homework, it shall need to be torn up. Please don't try again." The voice was distinctly Dumbledore, Harry could even imagine that goddamned polite smile fixated on the old- yeah, he said it, and he'd say it again OLD!-face.

Realizing the Headmaster must be watching somehow, he flipped off the room. Then the voice sounded again.

"No! No Severus, leave that with me. It's mine! Oh fine, but that'll be a 12 lemon drop fee-"The voice was cut off. Harry sighed in relief. Dumbledore really had lost it.

Draco looked at the parchment he held with disappointment:

Draco,

The Death Eaters do not have Harry Potter. Our Lord is angry. Please try and find out as much as you can about the situation.

Lucius

P.S. I told you Dumbledore was a foolish old man. Didn't I? Didn't I?

He rolled his eyes at the last line. Trust Lucius to need the last word in anything, even if it wasn't an argument.
So, Dumbeldore had been lying. Or perhaps . . . Potter was missing, and if the Headmaster didn't know where he was, and Voldemort didn't know where he was . . . "Scarhead, all alone. I've got you now, Potter." His evil laugh quickly turned to a hacking cough as Blaise walked past.

Author's note: So, this whole idea is based on watching the first movie, too much sugar, and writing at 2 in the morning. That being the case, suggestions will be welcome, though I can't promise we'll use them. Review!