Dear Susie Derkins:

I'd rather heave half a brick

Than say I love you, though I do,

I'd rather crawl in a hole

Than call you darling, though you are,

I'd rather wrench of an arm than

Hug you though it's what I long to do

I'd rather gather a posy of Poison Ivy

Than ask if you love me.

So if my hair doesn't stand on end,

It's because I never tease it,

And if my heart isn't in my mouth,

It's because it knows its place

And if I don't take a bite of your ear

It's because gristle gripes my guts

And if you miss the message,

Better get new glasses and read it twice.

Love, Calvin