Iruka liked to think that he was known for his patience, as it was the one thing that made him more than merely exceptional as a teacher. He liked to think he was known for his understanding and tolerance. It was his goal -- or something else inspirational and uplifting -- that held him to those values when his temper was getting short. But for some reason, Kakashi was the only person able to push him over the edge.
The younger teacher sat slouched on the couch, arms crossed, brows furrowed and a frown stretched across his features. His foot, obviously fed up with his vain attempt at patience, tapped violently on the wooden floor. Kakashi had been gone for nearly seven minutes now, without explanation or even an apology. Just a knock on the door, an "Oh, I'll get that," and he was gone. What the hell was wrong with him anyway?
Iruka was startled out of his thoughts when the door to Kakashi's apartment swung open and the silver-haired Jounin entered, maniac grin visible through the thick blue fabric of his mask.
"What's so funny?"
"Want some ice cream?" He replied, offering his fellow teacher a cone and taking a bite out of his own. "Ahh! Brain freeze!"
"No, I do not want your ice cream," Iruka snapped, snatching his from Kakashi's hands. "Give me that."
"Didn't you say you didn't want any?"
"I don't, but I couldn't very well let you eat it all!"
Kakashi shrugged and flopped down on the couch next to him, seemingly oblivious to Iruka's indignation. Silence reigned for several minutes, broken only by the sounds of slurped ice cream and the crunches of devoured cones.
"So, where were you?"
Kakashi looked up at Iruka, eyes dancing. "Getting ice cream. How did you think I got these? Microwaved them like frozen dinners?"
"No, I mean, who knocked on the door and where did you take them?" He said, more than a little exasperated.
"Oh."
Iruka waited for a response, but none came. He really had no patience when it came to this man. "Well? Aren't you going to say something?"
Kakashi squirmed and muttered something incomprehensible that might've passed as someone's name were it several hundred decibels louder.
"What?"
Grumble grumble.
"What?"
Grumble grumble.
"What?"
Grumble grumble.
"Dammit, Kakashi, speak up!" Iruka yelled, finally snapping.
"I. Was. With. Anko!"
Despite his demands to be enlightened with the company Kakashi was keeping, Iruka was quite taken aback. Anko? As the Chuunin Exam approached, his opinion of her descended. It appeared that she cared nothing for the fate of her students. He growled deep in his throat at the thought of Kakashi spending even a millisecond in that detestable woman's company, though he was well aware that they were engaged in what one could call a relationship if one was ignorant and oblivious and was not aware of that word's exact definition. "What did she want?"
"To talk."
"About what?"
"Our relationship."
"What's wrong with your relationship?"
"What is this, twenty questions?"
"No, it's not. I just want an explanation for once."
The Jounin sighed. To him, it seemed that Iruka could replace Morino Ibiki as Torture and Interrogation Captain and do a hell of a job at it. "Okay, but don't freak out."
Iruka snorted. "Fine."
"I was … with her, today, at the training grounds when some guy came up, and I split. She got pissed at me for running off, and then started yelling and accusing me of not loving her or whatever. That I just wanted her body, blah blah blah. That's all."
"That's all?! That's all?!" Iruka shrieked, waving his arms around.
"You're freaking out," He chided.
"I am not! But Kakashi, you're not taking this seriously!"
"Since when have I ever taken anything seriously?" The Jounin shot back.
Iruka opened his mouth to retort, but couldn't think of anything. It was true -- he was always so laid-back and casual. Nonchalant. "Still, that woman is nothing but trouble. You should stay away from her."
"Like I'm going to let you dictate my life."
"I'm serious, Kakashi, unlike some people. She'll steal your heart and break it in a single breath and it won't even faze her. She uses her body to snare men into bed with her and then takes advantage of them. Makes them think they actually mean something. By the end of the week she's moved on to another guy, leaving the previous one heartbroken, and continues the cycle. They're all the same to her. Just men to be used."
"Is this just a poetic way of saying Anko's a whore?"
"No, no, that's not what I meant…"
"You know all this from personal experience then?"
"N-no…"
"So this happened to someone you know?"
"Not … not really, but …"
"Oh, I get it." Kakashi's eyes glinted in a way that made Iruka mentally cringe. He braced himself for what was coming. "You're jealous."
"What?! Jealous?! I'm not--"
"Oh, yes you are. Iruka is jealous! Iruka is jealous!" Kakashi sang.
"I'm not!" Iruka blushed madly and hit him over the head with a pillow as the older teacher laughed at his embarrassment. Finally Kakashi grabbed Iruka's wrists to halt the attack, and leaned in close.
"Is he jealous of the way Kakashi treats Anko? Does he secretly want to spend the night at Kakashi's house and do things other than sleep?"
Iruka swallowed hard and blinked, suddenly very aware that Kakashi's lips were only inches from his own, that his hands where pinning his wrists above him, and that his heart was beating like a drum. He found it awfully hard to breathe; Kakashi was hitting too close to home.
"Does he want Kakashi to love him? To touch him … like this?"
It took Iruka a moment to register what was going on. He was being tickled. Despite his attempts to keep a straight face, he burst into laughter as he attempted to push the older man off him.
"Ahh! Stop it!" he managed to wheeze between giggles.
"Oh, is Iruka ticklish?"
"No! Ahh! I'm not--" He was going to suffocate like this.
"Not ticklish and not jealous, eh? Then what is Iruka? A madman?"
"No!"
"He's certainly laughing like one!"
"That's -- only because -- you're -- tickling me!"
***
All of the sudden, Anko's bed did not seem as comfortable as it had before. She squirmed around, thrashing at the blankets, trying to get into a good position. She sat up and rearranged the pillows, falling back onto them with a plop. Several slipped onto the floor. Anko rolled her eyes, exhaling sharply in frustration, and clambered out of bed. She had been ready to fall asleep in her ramen just three or four hours ago, but now she was wide awake. Might as well have something to eat while I'm up, she thought as she padded into her kitchen.
Anko poured herself a glass of milk, and her thoughts automatically shifted to that day's events. Maybe she was being a little too hard on him; Kakashi's excuse did seem genuine … for the most part. Perhaps she shouldn't treat their relationship so seriously when in fact there was hardly a relationship to begin with. Downing the glass, she opened the refrigerator. Kuso … nothing to eat. Her stomach let out a loud, unladylike grumble.
I'll talk to him tomorrow. But now, I have to worry about getting some food … What's open this late, anyway? She glanced at her clock; it read 12:46 AM. She sighed. Anko knew there were dangers in a woman wandering the streets at night; her mother had made sure caution was forever branded into her mind. But she was a ninja now. She could fend off any drunken bastard who came after her …
She glanced down at her pajamas — comfortable pants and a big tee shirt. Her current attire would have to do, but it wasn't like anyone would notice. Shrugging, she grabbed two kunai and several shuriken from the table by her bed before concealing them in various, accessible places. Sure, she was an expert at Taijutsu, but tonight she was feeling a tad more vulnerable than usual. Better safe than sorry, she thought with little enthusiasm. Pulling on her jacket and slipping into a pair of dilapidated sandals, Anko stepped out the door.
It was surprisingly warm for a summer night, but no breeze and high humidity did make for warm temperatures. Anko considered turning around and tossing her coat back into the hall closet, but she decided against it. There were already extra kunai in the pockets left over from her last excursion. After wondering for a moment where she could find nourishment at this hour, Anko started off towards a grocery store, the heavy weapons thudding dully against her thighs with each step she took.
The streets of Konoha were empty, which came as no surprise. Anyone in their right mind and a full refrigerator was either at home sleeping or munching on some midnight snack. Surely the shop owners knew this, and found no point in staying open for so long. Was it completely idiotic to think that perhaps there was, somewhere, an exception to this? Anko listened to the sound of her sandals slapping against the pavement as she rounded a corner and ran smack into someone.
"Oh!" Anko exclaimed, backing up a few steps, hand ready to reach for her kunai. "Gomen, gomen, I wasn't expecting anyone on the streets this late…"
"Anko?" the person stepped forward, moonlight illuminating their features. "Is that you?"
"Kabuto?"
The young Genin smiled and nodded, cocking his head. Anko noticed that his fingers twitched, one hand grasped around some round object …
"What are you doing out at this hour?" she inquired, suspicion creeping back onto her face. He had failed the Chuunin Exam — was it six times? -– and hadn't seemed to be training any harder or improving at all. She had seriously harbored the thought that perhaps he had no ambition at all.
"Oh, you know, I err … stayed out late with umm … some friends and I'm … heading home." He said it almost like a question, as if he were asking Anko to verify its plausibility. She nodded curtly. "What about you?" he asked. Her response seemed to put him at ease.
"Well, I got this sudden craving for some food, but unfortunately my fridge was empty. So I went looking for a bite." She smiled, and Kabuto's eyes brightened.
"Well, you can have this, then." He lifted the hand holding the object, bringing it into view. An apple. "I wasn't going to eat it anyway, and since I doubt anything will be open now, you can have it."
"Oh, thank you!" Anko took the apple from him and pocketed it, accidently knocking her kunais together.
"Eh?" A curious look seemed to pass over Kabuto's features. Anko's mind raced for an excuse, but found no better one than the truth. She drew the knife out of her coat.
"One can never be to careful wandering around the streets at night," she admitted with a grin.
Kabuto chuckled and nodded. Holding up a hand, he turned to go. "Well, I'll see you later, then, Anko."
"Goodbye." They both headed off the way they came, Anko munching happily on the red fruit. Wait … wasn't he going home? She turned back to inquire after his odd return route, but he was gone. Shrugging, the female ninja sauntered back to her apartment.
***
A/N: And, if anyone was wondering, ophidian means snake.
