Title: Stargate: 411
Author: OXBastetXO
Email:
Rating: G
Archive: Please ask first
Status: complete
Category: Humor
Summary: Just when Sheppard thought things couldn't get weirder...
Spoilers: none
Sequel/Season: Season One
Authors Note: I don't own them, Gecko and Scifi does. I'm just borrowing them for while and promise to give them back when I'm done, though I might just keep Rodney for little longer ;-)


Stargate: 411

By

OXBastetXO

"Um...oh." McKay stared at the DHD.

"'Um...oh' what?" Sheppard demanded.

"This is different."

Sheppard groaned. "Tell me you can dial us home."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

McKay gave him an exasperated look. "It means I...CAN...NOT...DIAL...IT," he said in very clear precise words.

Sheppard ran a hand over his face. "I'm going to kill him," he mumbled under his breath.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait!!!"

Sheppard groaned louder.

McKay pushed down three of the symbols on the DHD and hit the center crystal.

"That won't work--" Ford started to say when the 'gate suddenly started to glow.

"Thank you for using 'Gate DHD, how may I direct your dialing sequence?" a disembodied female voice asked.

"Atlantis, Pegasus Galaxy," McKay stated.

"One moment please..." there was a paused. "Would you like the address or would you like me to dial it for you?"

McKay smirked at Sheppard. "Dial it, please."

The chevrons on the Stargate locked one by one and then wormhole blossomed.

"Thank you for using 'Gate DHD. Have a nice day," the voice said before fading away to nothing.

"Gate Team One, this is Atlantis Base is everything alright?"

McKay just grinned like the Cheshire cat at Sheppard who continued to glower at him.

"Everything is fine, Atlantis. We're on our way through." He turned to McKay. "How?"

"Little something Colonel Samantha Carter once showed me," he said proudly as he headed for the event horizon.

Ford looked at Sheppard. "There's going to be no living with him," he stated heading toward the 'gate.

Sheppard watched Teyla follow Ford. "Why me?" he asked.

"What Major?"

Sheppard blinked, realizing he must have dozed off in the middle of a planning meeting. McKay was staring at him across the table, a quizzical look on his face.

"Major?" Weir asked, her gaze narrowing in concern.

"Nothing," he said, sitting up quickly. "You were saying?"

She gave him a skeptical look, but only nodded and went back to the science team's finding from the planet they were about to go visit.

Sheppard looked across at McKay and the scientist shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny.

"What?" he mouthed at him.

Sheppard just smiled and shook his head. "Nothing."