OVERCOME

By Lea O'Neill

Rating: G

Season: any
Spoilers: none

Pairing: Jack/Other

Summary: Sara has to let go; Jack has to find a way to forgive.

Comments: Part of the Jack/Nicole 'baby' series. Thanks to my beta Bonnie for hard work and great grammar!

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The original characters, situations and story are property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without author consent.

Overcome

Jack and Nicole strolled through the Colorado Springs mall, not shopping for anything in particular, but always looking for the next little 'something' for the newest O'Neill edition to be. Nicole was looking decidedly pregnant, at seven months along now. Jack loved that full roundedness under her maternity tee shirt. Come to think of it, he loved all of her new fullness. He had a hard time keeping his hands off her, even now. Especially now.

Nicki had stopped in front of a baby clothing store, eyeing things through the window. Jack, his mind roaming over thoughts of how his life had turned around three hundred and sixty degrees in the past two years, stopped behind her, casually putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?" she asked, pointing to a Winnie the Pooh blanket hanging in the display. It was about the hundredth time Jack had heard those words uttered, and had to admit, he felt the joy and excitement each time.
His thoughts were reeled in surprisingly quickly upon hearing another familiar voice.
"Jack?" He turned.

His throat tightened when he saw Sara, standing there, shopping bags in hand, and staring at him and Nicole.

"Um, Sara, hi," he said, suddenly awkward with a woman he'd shared so much of his past with, who now had so little to do with his future.
And Nicole turned then. Her hand rested, as it so often did, on the swell of her belly. She recognized Sara from pictures.

Jack wasn't sure exactly how to handle the situation. It was one he knew was going to happen one day, but still, he hadn't prepared himself well enough for it. Apparently neither had Sara, for she stood, now staring at Nicole and her prominent package, so to speak.

Luckily, Nicole was still the diplomat she'd always been. While both Jack and the former Mrs. O'Neill had apparently been struck dumb Nicki moved forward and stuck out her hand toward Sara.

"I'm Nicki. You must be Sara. It's nice to finally meet you."

Sara took the hand offered, but Jack knew her mind must have been reeling, caught off guard by this. Why hadn't he called her? She should know, shouldn't she? But another part of him demanded, why? What right is it of hers to have any part in my life now? But, guilt won out, as it usually did. He should have warned her, prepared her, for the reality that he was going to have another child. A child she had no part of.

"Hi," Sara said, trying to find words, attempting to smile. She cleared her throat. "Um, when are you due?" she asked, glancing from Nicki to Jack, and then back again.

"November," Nicki told her, used to having people ask things about her pregnancy now. Even if now the person asking was Jack's ex wife.

Sara nodded. "Wow. Well, congratulations," she said softly. "Nice meeting you." Without another word to Jack, Sara turned to continue on her way through the mall.

Jack noticed the corners of her eyes twitching. He knew from years of experience, she was holding back tears that she'd let fall once she was safely alone.

Jack looked at Nicole, the at Sara's retreating back.

He didn't have to say a word. Nicki knew. She nodded. "Go on," she encouraged him in a low voice. "I'll get some hot chocolate in the snack bar." Jack gave her a look, completely stating his relief, guilt and love all at once, and hurried after Sara.

He caught up with her just past Sears.

"Sara, wait!" he called.

She didn't turn. She walked ahead, those damn shoulders upright and held high. As always, she was strong, no matter what.

Jack caught her, taking her arm.

"Jack, I'm fine," she said. "I might have appreciated a little warning, but really…" she kept her face turned away from him. She knew if she looked into his deep eyes now, the dam would burst.

"Sara, I'm sorry." He wasn't sure exactly what he was apologizing for. For not telling her about Nicki? For not staying in the marriage? For hurting her consistently through the years? For Charlie? God, who knew?

Sara wiped at an eye now, as if she'd had a fleck of dirt blurring her vision rather than the hot saline that burned the corners and made her nose want to run.

"Well, there's really nothing left to say, is there?" She was angry and confused by her own emotions. "I'm happy for you Jack. I really am." She finally turned toward him, people walking past them, ignoring them and they not even seeing the blurry shapes that hustled by.

"I never wanted it to happen this way," he explained, as if somehow that made it better.

"If anyone deserves some happiness in their life, it's you Jack," Sara told him then.

Jack knew Sara hadn't changed. She always looked out for everyone but herself. She would push aside her feelings now, like he pushed aside all the feelings he'd never shared with her. She'd close the door. His door. But he couldn't help but want there to be more…he would always love Sara. She had been his wife. She had been the mother of his child. That couldn't be changed, nor would he want it changed. They shared something still, even if it was no longer the love it had once been.

"I just didn't know what to say," Jack told her, although she didn't want any further explanation. " 'Hi Sara, it's me. I knocked up my new fiancée. By the way, how's your dad?'"

Sara gave him a sour look. "I didn't expect this Jack. If you want the truth, well that's it. It hurts. It does. But you've moved on. And I am glad for that. If you hadn't, well I have the feeling I'd probably be visiting two graves now instead of just one. For whatever your reasons, up there in that damn mountain, you found a way. And now…" she shrugged, thinking of the 'other' woman and her current condition. "Well, like I said, I am happy for you."

Jack shoved his hands into his pockets. "I just don't want to leave things bad with you," he told her. He had always hated when they fought. And a nagging guilt still tugged at him when he thought of all the times he'd ended up hurting her. Was this just going to be another one to add on to the books?
Sara smiled, a tired, maybe somewhat melancholy smile. "They're not bad. Just different. Different than you or I had planned."

"Can I at least invite you to come have lunch with us?" He imagined how uncomfortable that might be, as soon as he'd let it slip out, but Sara was already shaking her head.

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet." She pursed her lips together. "But, maybe, sometime, it might be nice to stop by the house…I have some things that maybe you might want. Some of his baby things. I mean, if you'd want that."

Jack nodded, to quickly maybe. He knew he was hanging on still. And maybe it wasn't fair, not to Nicki or Sara. "I'd like that," he told her.

"Well, take care Jack. I've got to get going." She leaned in and gave him a slight hug, awkward and tentative.

He kissed her cheek briefly. And then she was gone. In a moment, she was lost in among the other shoppers, quickly melting into the crowd.

Jack stood there a moment more, staring at the people, not seeing faces. He sighed.

Nicki waited for him in the food court at the coffee bar, where she was treating herself to a decaf vanilla latte. She smiled when she saw him walking toward her.

He sat on the stool next to her. "How'd it go?" she asked

He shrugged. "Well, I guess it could have gone better. But I think she's okay. What about you?"

The corner of Nicki's mouth turned up slightly, but there was more irony than humor in her expression. "I knew I'd meet her someday, but I guess I just wasn't as prepared as I thought I'd be."

Jack felt rotten about the whole situation. And, typically, was blaming himself. He didn't know what to say to Sara; he didn't know what to say to Nicki. He didn't know how to take the feelings that Sara had stirred in him. He didn't know how to take the feeling he'd gotten from her look: that somehow he was betraying Charlie's memory. Maybe it was just that he knew he was ending ties with Charlie's mother. And that nothing would be able to join them again.

Jack did the only thing he knew how to do; he built a wall around all those emotions. He shut them down. He was good at that all right.

Jack dropped Nicki off at her house. She was finally getting ready to give up the place, deciding that she was ready to 'cohabitate' with Jack. Of course the baby rapidly growing inside her waiting to make its entrance on the world had a little something to do with that.

But Nicki had a lot of packing yet to do. Jack, who'd been quiet on the ride back, reminded her not to overdo and to come over as soon as she was done for the evening. They had picked up Chinese food for dinner.
He waited until Nicki was safely inside and then pulled back onto the road for the short drive to his house. He wasn't expecting company, so the blue car parked in his drive took him by surprise. He recognized it immediately though.

Jack parked his truck and got out, walking up to Sara's car.

"Hi," he said through her open window.

"Hi," she returned, looking up. "Can we talk?"

That was the last thing Jack wanted to do. He nodded and opened the car door for her.

Sara got out and followed Jack into his house. She looked around at the well-kept house. She saw the portrait of Nicki and Jack that had just come back from the framer's sitting on the table in the hall. It was a big 11 by 17 professional photograph Nicki had 'conned' Jack into taking some months ago. Sara studied the photo. Jack wore jeans, a white collared shirt and boots, sitting on a stool. Nicki stood in front of his left knee in a white sweater and jeans. The background behind them was black. It was a stunning photo. Sara could count the times on one finger that she had managed to get Jack to a professional photographer for a family portrait. It had been when Charlie was four. Their first, and only, picture all together. Sara wondered briefly where it had gotten off to. She remembered it was in her bedroom closet.

Jack noticed Sara staring at the portrait.

"Wedding photo?" she asked, not being intentionally callus, but wondering aloud.

Jack shook his head. "We were supposed to get married in January, but something came up at work. Now she wants to wait until after the baby." He had no idea why he was telling Sara all this.

Sara nodded, finally tearing her eyes from the framed photograph. "I thought we left things badly earlier. I wanted to apologize."

Jack shrugged. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about Sara. I should have warned you. I could have called."

"You don't have to inform me of every detail of your life now Jack. That's one of the benefits of divorce." This was going badly.

"I just always thought…well, I don't know what I thought," she continued. "You're just full of surprises these days. I mean, I knew about her. I still have friends around the base Jack. I simply had no idea…" she closed her eyes to stem off the tear ducts that were starting to fill again. "I guess they just didn't know how to tell me any more than you did."

Jack had nothing to say that would stop her pain. She felt betrayed. He felt guilty. It was all as simple, or as complicated as that.

Sara shook her head. She looked at Jack, the man who had meant so much to her, who was now a stranger, had been for some years. The pain was a fresh as yesterday.

"I guess I wish things were different," she finally said. "I am glad you've moved on. I think if I know you well enough, that you're probably feeling like you've betrayed us. But it's not true. There's plenty of room in your heart for another child. I'm glad that you're going to get the chance." Jack realized he hadn't spoken. "I never wanted to hurt you. Not then and not now."

She nodded. "I know that Jack. And I've forgiven you. The question is, have you forgiven yourself? Have you forgiven your son?"

Jack's eyes turned from her. He didn't want her to see the pain concealed there, well disguised on the surface, but flowing freely underneath.

"It's hard, I know. It's taken me five years in therapy just to realize that I was so angry. Angry at myself, angry with you, and angry at Charlie. But I had to forgive. It was the only way I could survive."

Jack turned away. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't need this; anything but this. Not here. Not now.

"It's just something to think about Jack. If you're going to give your whole heart to her, to that baby, you're going to have to forgive…all of us." Sara moved closer. She laid a hand on his shoulder. She knew under that hard shell was the man she'd loved once.

"I just wanted to finish things between us Jack. A part of me will always love you. And that's the part that wants you to be happy. I hope you'll think about what I said."

"It's…hard," he finally said, letting out a sigh that weighed with more emotion than he'd ever speak.

Sara moved in front of him again. He refused to meet her eyes.

"I know. I might be the only one who will ever know. Don't ever hesitate to call me, or come over, to talk. No matter how much has happened, we still share something. And it was special. And I want to end things with you like we started. As friends."

Jack looked into her face. It seemed so hard to believe those eyes could read him so well. He supposed she'd always be able to.

"Thanks," he told her then.

She smiled, pushing past the lump the welled in her throat.

And that smile, the one he'd loved for so long, the one he'd dreamt about years ago, moved Jack to take her into his arms. It was an embrace between friends now. It held none of the passion that had once been. Only a small amount of comfort.

Sara rested her head on Jack's shoulder, right in the same spot where she knew it fit perfectly. It was right that she let him go. He deserved that much.
They held each other.

And then the door opened. Jack looked up in time to catch a glimpse of the anguished look on Nicole's face before it slammed shut again.

Sara broke away and turned, startled.

Jack cussed.

Sara immediately realized what had happened and who had been in the door. Her hand flew to her mouth.

Jack was already at the door, calling for Nicki.

Sara heard tires squeal on the pavement. She went to the door to see Jack standing at the road, staring after the red Mustang speeding away.

She walked toward her car, Jack finally turning back to the house.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized for the situation that had just transpired.

Jack shook his head. "I'll talk to her, explain," he said. "It'll be okay."

It sounded like a lie as it rolled off his tongue.

"I guess I better go," Sara told him. "But I meant what I said."

Jack nodded, opening the door for her again. And then Sara, like Nicki, was driving away.

Well, this was a fine mess he'd gotten himself into.


Jack drove to Nicki's house, but didn't find her there. He called Janet.
"I haven't seen her," the doctor told Jack. She deduced by the tone in his voice that something had happened between the couple.
"If she turns up, call me, okay?"

He drove around, not knowing where Nicki might go. He called her office at NORAD. The desk clerk in her building had not seen her either.

Daniel was enjoying his down time. He wasn't even working. Well, not technically. He was writing a piece on Egyptian hieroglyphics that he'd promised his alma mater's historical journal newsletter months ago. So, hunched over his computer with a cup of coffee not far out of reach, he was just finishing up, lost in the world of the ancients. He didn't hear the knock on the door until it became persistent.

"Oh, yeah, coming!" he called, saving his document. He shuffled to the door in his slippers. He realized he was wearing his pajamas still, even though it was late afternoon. Oh well.
He opened the door to see Nicole there. Her face was red and it looked like she had been crying.

"Nicki? Come in," he said, letting her inside. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

Nicole went inside Daniel's apartment, which she'd only been once before. She found a seat on his couch, moving aside some file folders.

Daniel, with a look of concern on his face, sat across from her. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "I'm just upset. I didn't know where to go…" she was close to tears again. She knew in her heart her hormones had more to do with it than seeing Jack in Sara's arms.

Daniel took one of her hands. "Its fine. You're always welcome. Now what happened? Is it Jack?"

Nicki nodded.

"You have a fight?"

"Not exactly. I left before that could happen."

"Well what then?"

"I walked into his house and found him and his ex wife…together."

Daniel frowned. "Together?" he got an awful picture in his mind, but erased it immediately. Not Jack.

"She was holding him," Nicki explained. She wiped at her eyes. "I know I'm probably making more if it than it was…but it still hurts."

With a better understanding of the situation and a firm grasp on calm, Daniel nodded. "Of course. But you know Jack would never do anything to hurt you. I'm sure Sara had a reason. And whatever it was, I'm sure it was not meant the way you thought." He handed Nicole a box of tissue.

She used a Kleenex to wipe her eyes and nose. "I'm sorry Daniel. I know you're probably right…I just…I can't think clearly anymore. This baby's turned my brain into mush!" she said exasperatedly.

Daniel smiled. "Let me make you some tea." He got up and went to his small kitchen. "It's probably good you came by," he went on, hoping to steer her thoughts. "I was about to go blind behind the computer." He put a cup of water in the microwave to heat and got herbal tea from the cupboard.

"I'm sorry," Nicki apologized again. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

The microwave beeped and Daniel made the tea, carrying it into the living room.

"Oh, I'm glad you did. I was just working on this stuff for a magazine article."

He handed Nicki the tea, knowing she took no sugar in the orange spice flavored decaffeinated beverage.

She took the cup with a grateful smile. "Thank you."

He nodded. "Yeah, I've about had all of hieroglyphics I can handle for one day." He went on about the article, until Nicki began to get the same vacant look on her face that Jack usually did when Daniel droned too long. But as long as her mind was off other things…

Some time later, Nicki glanced out the window, noticing it was getting dark.

"I guess I should get going."

Daniel followed her gaze. "Did I bore you too bad?" he asked.

She smiled and shook her head. "I needed to hear someone talk. Just to know there's more going on in the world besides me."

Daniel broached the subject now that Nicki was calmer. "Jack loves you Nicki. He'd never do anything to jeopardize what you two have. And besides, he's never been happier. Not since I've known him."

She nodded. "I should have let him explain. I guess seeing her twice in one day was more than I prepared for."

"They hurt each other," Daniel explained. "Maybe they're each trying to put it to rest. Jack's finally gotten on with his life. To the best of my knowledge, Sara hasn't. I'm sure it's painful for her to realize that. But in the end, if she has any feeling left for him at all, she'll see that he's happy. And it will help her to know that."

Nicki was grateful for Daniel's cool rationalization. "Thanks Daniel," she told him.

He stood and helped her up.

"Oh!" she exclaimed putting a hand over her abdomen. "This kid is really getting rowdy."

Daniel smiled. "May I?" he asked.

Nicki took his hand and put it over the spot where she was being pummeled by tiny foot or hand.

Daniel felt the movement and was marveled. He never ceased to be astonished by the miracle of life. "It's amazing," he finally said.

He walked Nicki to the door. "Anytime you want weak tea, boring conversation and a hopeless romantic, come by," he joked.

"I'll take any of the above as long as it's you. And you're anything but hopeless Danny." She touched his cheek briefly before walking down the hall.

If only…he thought. There had to be someone out there…

Daniel tried to go back to his computer, but the work had lost interest. He picked up the phone instead, on a whim. He dialed, and as the phone began to ring, he suddenly hoped she wouldn't answer, feeling foolish for calling anyway.

"Hello?"

Daniel swallowed hard. "Hi Sam."


Nicki drove back to Jack's house. His truck was now the only one in the driveway. She felt somewhat embarrassed and sheepish, walking up to the back door.

Jack must have been waiting for her, for he stood there in the kitchen as she walked in.

Nicki stood at the door. Jack stood at the counter.

"Hiya," he said softly.

"Hey," she returned, her voice equally low.
"You okay?"

She nodded.

"I'm sorry you saw that. We were saying goodbye."

"I know."

Nicki went to him then. Jack gratefully wrapped his arms around her. He could not express the relief he'd felt seeing her pull into the driveway. He had been terrified of loosing her. He'd known then just how deep his feelings went. Face them? He doubted it. But that didn't make them go away.

"I love you Jack."

"Don't ever question the fact that I'm with you Nicki. Totally and completely with you."

And Jack noticed then, the even with the swelling of her belly, her head fit perfectly into the hollow of his shoulder. And he knew that they would overcome.

Fin.