Michigan breezed easily through the first rounds of the tournament, beating Uconn 4-1, U of Colorado 5-0 and Penn State 3-0. The Frozen Four was set to take place in Minneapolis of all places, and both Charlie and Adam looked forward to being home for a week, though for different reasons. Adam pleaded with the coach to let him play. This was the Frozen Four. This was Minneapolis. He wanted to prove it to himself and to everyone else that he still had it, he was still in the game. The coach relented only after observing Adam in full practice and scrimmage and was satisfied that his wrist was sufficiently healed and his stamina and general mindset were on the right track.
The evening before the first game found Adam and Charlie holed up in their hotel room watching movies. Over the past few weeks, they'd grown increasingly close. After their late night talk back in their dorm, things had started to open up a little. Adam found it easier and easier to talk to his friend, and Charlie found it easier and easier to listen. The words came more freely, the emotions more clearly, and the trust that they'd lost was starting to come back. It wasn't restored, but it was getting there, and both of them were determined to keep at it.
"Man, remember the first day you came to play for us?" Charlie asked. He was laying on his stomach on one of the beds in their hotel room, his study materials lying neglected next to him. Adam was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the bedframe, elbows resting on his knees.
"Yeah, when you tried to be the nice guy and Jesse stopped you," he replied, "Yeah, I remember."
"I feel so bad. We were so mean to you. And we were…like, 10 years old," Charlie said. Adam laughed a little, although Charlie could tell it was slightly forced.
"That was nearly ten years ago, Conway. It's no big deal."
"You're sure?" Adam slouched down a little further, resting his head against the mattress.
"I guess…maybe it all built up over time. But, like I said…it was ten years ago. Suicide attempts aren't generally connected to ten-year-old events." Charlie felt his entire body stiffen at Adam's casual use of the word 'suicide.'
"What about all the other stuff?" This was getting at the heart of it all, and they both knew it. Adam was fully aware that he had to be careful in his selection of words, lest he inadvertently place blame on anyone. He'd already hurt Charlie enough through this whole process. There was no need to make him feel it any worse.
"High school was the worst. You know it. I know it. It was tough for both of us. And then we got to college and…well, you know. It didn't get any easier." Adam's words were spoken haltingly, like he was having trouble getting them out.
"I'm sorry." It was one of the hardest things Charlie ever had to say. To anyone. Anytime. Apologizing had never been his strong point, because it was so hard for him to swallow his pride, to accept defeat, to admit he was wrong.
"Me too."
"I really don't think you have anything to be apologizing for," Charlie said, resting his chin in his hand. Adam glanced over his shoulder at his friend, and the look on his face was one of guilt.
"I screwed up, Charlie. I caused…a lot of anxiety for you and Jade…and my parents, everyone, you know?"
"Your parents?" Charlie couldn't hide his disgust, "Your dad was the one who instigated this whole thing. All his insults and sh*t…"
"They're still my parents…"
"Well, your dad needs to learn a few things about parenting then." Adam bit back a retort. What Charlie was saying was true. His father had pushed him to the edge.
"I was the one who actually…well, carried it out, though," he said, almost to himself. Yes, his father had pushed him, but he was the one who had taken the blade to his wrist. He was the one who had faltered. He had broken.
"Adam, you let the blame fall on you alone, and you might as well shoot yourself in the foot," Charlie muttered. He reached out and rested his hands on his friend's shoulders.
"Come on. We should sleep. We got a game tomorrow."
Colorado College 2:1 Michigan
Late in the game, Michigan was flying. They were down by one, but they were dominating the ice, getting quality chances on net and putting their hearts into the game. Adam could feel the intensity on the ice and on the bench. The seniors especially had no intention of going out in their final season in the final four. They wanted to win it all, and they were working their asses off to get there. The underclassmen were swept up in it as well, playing perhaps harder than they had all season, because the seniors were out there working hard, and they expected nothing less than for all of them to leave everything on the ice.
With less than a minute to go, Charlie managed to draw a cross-checking call, and everyone knew that the resulting faceoff was the do-or-die for Michigan. They had to score on this possession or it was over for them. As their captain moved in to take it, Adam felt the stadium around him melt away. The noise faded away to silence, and the sea of faces dissolved into blackness. All that he was aware of was the game on the ice. His focus was intense now; one mistake would cost them the game and the season.
The puck hit the ice, and the ice literally became a blur of sticks and skates as players fought for possession.
"Get it to Banks!" Charlie yelled. Adam barely heard him. He could feel the seconds ticking by, and he was sure time was going to run out on them. No one had possession, no one had control, Colorado had only to clear it and the game was over.
And then his chance was there.
The puck spurted free from the scramble, and Adam took off, pushing his muscles to the limit. It was a footrace between him and a Colorado player, and he knew if he lost this race, he would lose his chance as well. Demanding even more from his fatigued muscles, he stretched to pull the puck into his possession. At the same time, he had to twist to avoid the check, and he half-expected to find himself slammed against the boards, but somehow, he had evaded his opponent. The net was in front of him, the goalie the only thing keeping him from a game-saving goal. His heart was pounding against his chest, and all he could think as he approached the net was, stay calm. Do not get overexcited and botch this. Don't you dare let your concentration slip. He deeked once, twice, and then he saw his chance. The goalie had inadvertently slid too far left, and the net was open on the right. It was like a voice in the back of his head said, "Shoot." And he did.
Suddenly the noise in the arena was deafening, the crowd dizzyingly colorful. Adam found himself borne down under a pile of his teammates, Charlie being the first to reach him. They were screaming above the noise, incomprehensibly overjoyed at the prospect of new life in what had looked like their last game of the year.
This was what he played for, he thought as he and his teammates headed to the locker room before overtime, this was what made it all worth it in the end.
