Gahh…it been two weeks sense I updated. The horror. Sorry about that, but work drains a lot out of me.  Not that this stuff is great, but hey it beats watching paint dry.

Disclaimer: I don't own MMX or Zero….they own me. 0o ( bum bum bum)

Chapter: 3 Intoxications, Revelations, and Proclamations

 Zero idly walked down the street, inwardly cackling at the vision of helplessness on X's face as Alia pulled him off. He was really in for it this time; Zero had never seen the blond female reploid that peeved in his life. Suddenly Zero stopped as a pang of emotion gripped his stomach. His face distorted as the feeling wouldn't go away, was it guilt?  Zero looked down at the ground, maybe he had went a bit too far. X was a good friend, like a younger sibling whom you couldn't picture life without. That empty feeling in the pit of his stomach grew as he continued to think about what Alia would do to X, all because he had to provoke his blue friend. 

 Laughter broke Zero out of his thoughts as he turned to see where the noise was coming from. Surprisingly he had made his way to one of his usual hang outs, atop the building the writing read: The Roadkill B&G. Smiling Zero lightly rapped his helmet, " Guilt my ass, That's my stomach demanding sustenance."  Satisfied with his own prognoses, Zero made his way across the street to the B&G.

 The Roadkill B&G was somewhat of an oddity, located less than block away from Maverick HQ, it had become the unofficial hangout for off duty hunters. Zero in particular had become a regular after a short while; the Beer was cheap and plentiful.  The building itself had two levels and sported a rustic look. The upper level was mostly dinner tables with a view of MHHQ, however the first floor is where all the action took place. Along the walls several booths where built for quiet mealtime and conversations, if you where feeing adventurous scattered across the floor where various tables for ether dining or a game of pool. In the center of the room acting like some sort of hub directing all the traffic was the bar, in it you could usually spot the owner who was a former Maverick Hunter, catching up on old times and generally getting you stark raving drunk in the process.

  Zero made his way towards the bar and idly hopped on an empty stool, looking around he noticed the usual crowd. In the back he noted the 7th Arial combat division playing a game of darts, who from the sounds of shouting where in a sudden death match between Hawk and Spartan, two of the local hot heads. A peanut hit the side of his head, turning Zero spotted the culprit. Sitting in a seat off to the side with his parents a small boy that looked six smiled, Zero smirked as he noticed that he was missing a few teeth. However his smirk quickly faded as another peanut smacked him right in the eye. Zero growled, " Dammit I really hate kids."

 Ignoring the ankle biter Zero pounded the bare table. " Yo Barkeep! I need Beer Stat!" 

 The barkeeper stopped and looked at Zero and laughed, " Zero you pain in the ass! I didn't expect you back for another week at least."

 Zero chuckled, " Har har Roy, serves you right for getting me piss poor drunk."

  Roy Kidouskin was once a Maverick Hunter in the 17th reploid unit under X. Roy was a special case, being one of the few humans to actually join up and pass the rigorous physical strain of the entry course for the MH he earned respect the hard way. He did his job without fail, until the 5th uprising when he lost his right arm in the colony crash. Luckily Lifesavor had been able to save him, however his arm was a complete loss resulting in a cybernetic prosthetic. Because of this, Cain personally thanked him for his heroics, however shortly after HQ retired Roy with more than a generous severance package.  Of course once X had gotten wind of the decision, he immediately stormed the head office and got the decision switched from retirement to temporarily inactive indefinite. Not wanting to keep away from his friends Roy used his 'retirement' money and opened shop, the name was easy enough to pick out, he just used the name his unite describe the state he was in when they found him injured; Roadkill.

  Roy stood at six foot with bawd shoulders, his blue eyes and sandy blond hair was mid length and fairly kept. Recently Roy had taken to growing a beard, with his normal attire of blue jeans and red plad button shirt many had given him the nickname Mountain man, and recently Zero's personal favorite; Bounty Man. 

 Roy quickly poured Zero a mug and walked over to where he was sitting, " Now behave yourself this time or else I'll get Hawk and his merry band of drunks to toss your sorry ass in the local river, there by saving X the trouble of sobering you up." 

 "Cross my fingers Roy." 

 The Barkeep only smirked, " Yeah that's the problem though isn't it?"

 Zero smiled, " Nah, X says I just need a hobby."

" Sounds like a good idea."

  Zero nodded, " Easier said than done, I've tried everything from training to paperwork. It just doesn't last." 

  Roy listened intently while cleaning a mug with his towel, " There's where the problem lays Zero." 

  Zero who was about to take a drink stopped, setting his mug back down. " I'm not following."

 " Well your problem is what you're trying to use for a hobby. You see a hobby is not only something you enjoy doing, but also something that helps you take your mind off the aggravation in life. The reason you never found satisfaction doing those tasks is because you do them on a regular basis."

  Zero snorted, " So tell me Obi-wan, what do you suggest?" 

 Roy lightly chuckled, " Try something constructive. Usually a personal project would help. If doesn't have to be beneficial, so long as you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment knowing you set out your goal and watching the results regardless." 

 " Whoa, deep words. I'll have to actually think on this one. Guess I'll be milking this beer, until then." 

  Roy smiled, " You do that, now if you'll excuse me I've got customers to attend to. If you need anything just holler." With that the barkeep turned and walked off, leaving Zero to contemplate.

  Silently Zero stared off into space pondering this life-altering question. What did he like aside from kicking the living stuffing's out of Mavericks?  While it did prove entertaining, recently his supply of punching bags had gone into hiding. Zero idly held his mug off the table, so what else was there? Mentally he made a list; There was X, however that was a given. His Z-saber maybe? Nah, job related. Drinking? Scratch that, bad idea. Alia? Defiantly not, ether She would castrate him or X would blast him for moving in on his turf. Zero frowned, " Damn this is harder than I thought, thinking requires beer that's all there is to it."  With that Zero lifted his mug to down its frosty sweetness, however he neglected to notice the incoming projectile heading toward him.

Kerr-plunk 

 A beer drenched Zero stared blankly at his mug, now only half full with a soggy french-fry drenched in ketchup swirling around like it owned the thing. Slowly the red hunter turned his head toward the toothless six-year-old boy who was currently stifling a giggle. Zero eyed him for a moment before glaring back at his mug. To waste beer in such a way was a war crime in his book. Hell it was sacrilegious, 'Thou shall not Waste the froth'.  There was no mistaking the murderous glare in his eye, now it was personal.

 Setting the mug aside Zero reached for the nearest tray of beer nuts, procuring a handful he then proceeds to line each one up individually. Once satisfied with his army of nuts Zero takes aim at his intended victim, honing years of training as a Maverick Hunter Zero flicks a nut sending it airborne and landing smack dab in-between the youth's eyes.

 A light yelp was heard as both parents looked at the boy suspiciously. Zero meanwhile cackled under his breath, " Direct hit, parental lecture underway. Beer secure!"  However Zero's victory was short lived as another object, this time a vegetable of some sort smacked the red reploid on the cheek, leaving a cheese smear.  Wiping off the stain Zero smirked," This means war." 

  Zero eyed the boy, who in turn glared back with the same determination. As if on cue both warring parties opened fire, Zero having years of experience launched his nuts in a rapped fire. The boy showing the same ferocity launched fries like there was no tomorrow.  Before long however there was an unwanted casualty, namely the parents getting caught in the crossfire. Zero and the boy immediately stopped, both having the same look of dread as both parents eyed each of them. Inwardly Zero cringed, he felt bad for the kid and at the same time was thank full he never had parents. A notion played in Zero's head causing the blond hunter to grin maniacally, glancing at the boy and giving a wink Zero cupped his hands and uttered two words that the boy would forever regard as a distraction from heaven.

  " FOOD FIGHT!!!

                                                                          ~~~~++++~~~~

The sun was now setting giving off an orange hue; X looked at it and sighed as he continued his trek out of Maverick HQ.   " Can this day get any more depressing?" Musing silently to himself X wondered briefly when his life had become so complicated. Between his life, his friends, and job it's difficult to imagine not getting stressed out. But still, it didn't explain his feelings towards fighting. Were his actions really the same as Zeros, if so why? More importantly if he didn't enjoy violence, then why was he so good at it? What was his original purpose?

 The more X thought about it the more confused he became. Following Zero's example X had decided to head over to Roy's place and unwind. He knew the red reploid would be there, it was dollar shots night. Still preoccupied with his thoughts X pushed open the entrance door to the bar and stopped jaw gaping. Inside a veritable war was being waged, like some wild west movie both men and reploid fought each other with mashed potatoes and whatever else that was fling-able.

 Hawk, the commander of the 7th airborne unit was up on the second floor commanding the battle. Immediately after the fight begun his squad had grabbed the higher ground, along with grabbing every table they could they hastily built blockades to their fortress. He was a tall reploid designed with similarities of a Hawk, hence the name. And like any flyboy he was as arrogant as they come. Standing tall atop his perch he commanded his troops to pelt Zero with whatever food they could muster. Hawk's eyes immediately noted the bar door open and present a shocked X. Not giving him any time to think Hawk spoke, " Lads look alive! Zero's brought himself reinforcements in the form of X. Lets show him what for!" With that he flung an entrée dish towards the blue hunter.

    X immediately dodged a dinner plate that smashed alongside the doorframe. Two more followed suit as X ducked and rolled to a nearby table, tipping the round wooden object over on its side for cover.  Taking a moment to breath as he X peeked out to survey the seen before him. Like himself, various civilians where trapped under tables and various large objects trying to avoid becoming a target. Up on the second floor X spotted what appeared to be the 7th unit firing off whatever foodstuff they could muster at any moving target available, however for the most part there efforts seemed to be concentrated on the bar itself.

  Focusing on the bar X spotted the familiar red tint of a certain reploid popping up to launch a crescent roll before ducking down to avoid the counter barrage. X rolled his eyes, "Why am I not surprised". 

 Immediately he activated his comm., "Megaman X calling Maverick Hunter base, come in Hunter base." A brief moment of static was heard before Alia's voice responded.

 This is Hunter Base we read you X.  One of the 7th flew above X's position and pelted his table while yelling death by hotdogs. Hotdogs? X what's going on, you know this frequency isn't supposed to be used for personal reasons.  

 X grabbed his table and angled it to deflect the barrage, " Believe me Alia this is anything but personal, I need you to….gahh…that's disgusting! Look, send my unit to this position. Tell them to be prepared for crowd control and cleanup."

 Alia immediately became concerned, Crowd control? X what's going on, is it a Maverick attack?

 Across the room a pair of kitchen doors opened as Roy and one of his waitresses ran towards the bar carrying with them an armload of various foods. Zero along with what appeared to be a human boy emerged from their hiding place and offered cover fire. X sighed as he shook his head, " No more like the Red Menace. It looks like Zero picked a food fight with Hawks unit."

 Across the line X heard Alia swear, Why am I not surprised. But don't you think we should alert the MP's? 

 X shook his head, " Negative, we have a mission tomorrow and I'd like to avoid the paperwork. Just sent my unit out and we'll clean up."  Alia sighed in defeat,

Roger, I'm dispatching the 17th, X be careful.

X let out a light chuckle, " Right, my only weakness is a mirage pie. If only Sigma knew." 

 Smart-ass.

" Sorry, I knew what you meant. Oh, and sorry about earlier today. I guess I've been a real jerk lately. X over and out."

 Before she could respond X cut the transmission. Sneaking a peak over at the bar X could see Roy wave at him, waving back the blue hunter briefly wondered how he was gong to get over there without getting pulverized. Grabbing the table leg, X lifted it up and carried the table using it as a shield. Making his way over X tossed it aside as he dove over the bar to meet his friends.  Looking up X spotted Zero in the forefront with the boy tossing various foods at any member of the 7th who happened to violate their airspace. To his right X spotted Roy and one of his waitresses supplying the ammo, on his left the parents where equally defending the bar with various edible curiosities. 

" Do I even want to know what's going on?"

 Zero looked over his shoulder to see his friend and smiled, " X! Welcome to the party, grab a burger and start tossing." 

X stared blankly at Zero, but before he could voice his opinion however the young boy tossed an orange at him, " Aim for the one with the beak, he seemed to be the leader."

X blinked,  " And you are?" 

 The boy pointed a thumb towards his chest and smiled, " The names Chad, I'm Mr. Zero's second in command!"

" Right…"X glanced over to where Roy was at, " Anyone willing to tell me why I'm dodging consumables?" 

 Roy snorted, " Some idiot decided to get cute and declare a food fight."

 " Gee I wonder who that was." Mumbled X who was now glaring at Zero. The red hunter merely shrugged in innocents and continued his assault. " At any rate, why are you helping Roy?" 

 " Its not like I can tell Hawks group to leave now can I?"  In the distance a reploid hunter by the name of Spitfire was currently signing Britain's national anthem.

  X sighed, " Guess your right. Good thing I called for backup."

Roy smiled, " So you called Alia did you?"

" Yeah, my unit should arrive any moment."

The ex-hunter nodded, " That's good to know, maybe I'll have a bar left after this is over with." 

Suddenly Hawks voice roared over the ruckus, " X long time no see! I have an ultimatum I wish to offer."  The fighting subsided as X stood up.

" I'm listening Hawk." 

Hawk seeing X smiled, " Jolly good! Are demands are quite simple really, one free beer for life. Two; Zero gets a haircut. And finally the third; you convince Alia to go out on a date with me." 

 X raised an eyebrow at the second demand, below him he could see Zero mouthing bad plans, no go X grinned, as much as he'd enjoy watching Zero get a haircut, the thought of seeing Alia with Hawk mad him ill. " And if we refuse?"

Hawk smiled pointing a banana as if it where a gun towards the blue hunter, " Then my outfit turns you all into fruit salads."

 X shook his head, " He can't be serous." Before he could respond however someone else made the decision.

" Give my regards to Colonel Sanders!" 

 X watched in horror as Chad tossed a yogurt cup at Hawk. Hawk barely avoided being hit by ducking under a table. " Not bad kid! You heard them boys, take no prisoners!" 

 Before X could respond however the 17th unit busted threw the doors weapons drawn. X immediately shouted, " Hold your fire! No weapons, take them in peaceful—ack!" X hit the ground as a tomato plastered up side his head.

Hawk whooped for joy, " Ha ha! I got X, look alive men they've brought reinforcements!" 

 The 17th immediately took up shelter as they systematically returned fire, using whatever discarded foods lay on the now filthy floors. Hawk immediately ducked for cover behind his makeshift fort while shouting obscenities. X lied still, feeling the red sauce drip down the right side of his face. He heard Zero do a battle cry as he lobed a watermelon. X had officially had enough.

System command: Right Arm Buster cannon activate

Energy output: …100%

Buster Status: green

Command line: Buster CannonEnergy output

Energy output: dropping output ratio….0.01%

Buster Status: red

Warning: output level below effective operational standards….override

Buster Status: Online

 Zero ducked as another barrage of pineapples crashed on the countertop, " Shit! There's no way to hit him with that fort in the way."  Zero looked at Chad, " I hate to admit it kid, but it looks like where out classed." 

" Give me that can of tomato sauce." 

 " Huh?" Zero turned to glance at X and recognized the determined look in his eyes. Not wanting to agitate his friend any further Zero grabbed the nearest can and chucked it towards X, who caught it and shoved it down his buster barrel. " X…what exactly are you planning?" 

 X only eyed his friend and took aim; his optics scanned the fort and locked on to Hawk who at the moment was hiding behind a table.  " Time to break out the can." Smirked X. 

 " Fire in the hole!" 

 A kerr-thunk sound was heard as the can of tomato sauce ejected out of X's buster at breakneck speeds, the projectile flew threw the air and towards the fort. Its speed causing it to bust threw the wooden table, where it smacked Hawk upside the head and exploded, rendering not only a soupy mess but Hawk unconscious as well.

" The commander's been hit!"

" Man down!"

" Medic!"

Zero looked at X in awe, admiring his handiwork. The blue reploid stood tall with his face still half covered in tomato and drew a salami mimicking a sword,

" Attack!!!"

 The 17th immediately charged forward ignoring the pelting of food, Zero cackled insanely, " Now this is a food fight!"  Following X's example Zero grabbed a salami and jumped over the bar, charging off to pummel any foe who happen to cross his path. 

                                                                           ~~~~++++~~~~

  Zero stood by the bar enjoying his victory beer. The battle had lasted an hour total, but eventually X and his unit had rounded up the 7th air unit and hauled them off to HQ to sober up. Hawk however was taken to Lifesavor, it seemed X's can had caused a sizable dent near his frontal lobe resulting in a command system freeze, or in human terms a concussion. 

 The bar itself was a in near shambles, furniture everywhere was overthrown. Every surface imaginable was covered with one form of consumable or another. Zero feeling somewhat responsible had discreetly called his unit up to help with the cleanup. In the far corner the blond reploid noted where X was standing talking into his receiver.  A chuckle rose as Zero noted what a complete mess his friend looked; his armor was covered with icing, sauces, and anything else you could imagine. Of course he was no rose himself, Zero absently rung his fingers threw his hair, once again trying to clean out the mysterious sticky substance that had found its mark. 

 Zero noted X's pained expression every time he responded on his comm., and noted it must be Alia that was on duty; no one made X that squeamish ever.  A heavy sigh was heard as X made his way towards the bar next to Zero, sitting down he half solemnly ordered a beer.  The red reploid eyed his friend, " So on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it?" 

X only gave the response of a groan followed by his shoulder slumping. Zero cringed, " That bad eh?" 

 " You have no idea."

Eying the contents of his mug Zero downed it with a satisfied gulp, " Well maybe if you told someone it help."

 X eyed his friend, " And you just happen to be that someone eh?"

Zero merely shrugged as he made the motion with his hands and ordered another round, " Don't know unless you try." 

 Taking a sip out of his mug X seemed to try and think where to start, " Honestly Zero I don't know where to start. Lately Alia's been acting weird, I guess you could call it. She's always been overprotective, but lately she blows up at the smallest things I do. Not that I'm any better, Signas mentioned that I've been suffering from stress. Heck I almost bit his head off today in his own office." 

 Zero remained silent, listening to his friend contently while sipping his beverage. " Anything else?"

 " Yeah, I've been questioning my reason for existing. You know, the whole being built by a famous deceased scientist and not knowing why tends to do that." 

 Zero nodded, " I hear you there, unfortunately I can't offer advice on that particular topic. Best I can do is tell you to live life according to your emotions." 

 X looked up at Zero, " Exactly how many beers have you had? Your almost making sense."

" Har har smart-ass. Yes despite the urban myth I can be sensitive at times…when I want to. Though not often."

 X smiled, " It nice to know."

 " Whoa now, don't get any funny ideas. I'll deny any of this later on."  Zero nudged his friend,  " Besides, on the topic of Alia I can help you with." 

 The blue hunter raised his mug to take a swig, " Oh? And what would that be?"

Zero beamed, " Simple, Alia likes you!" 

X immediately spat out the contents of his drink, coughing up the rest that went down the wrong tube, Zero immediately patted him on the back. " Whoa there cowboy, don't inhale it."

 One he finished choking X eyed his friend," Zero…that has got to be the dumbest thing you've said. Alia does not, repeat not have a thing for me."   

 Zero snorted, " Geez X you really are dense, the whole HQ knows about it. The only reason no one's bothered to speak up on it is because you two seem so adamant about denying it."

 " What do I have to do with this? Up till a moment ago I was supposedly in the dark."

 Grinning evilly Zero played his trump card, " Well you have a thing for her as well…" Before X could deny it Zero held his hand up, " Ah ah, don't deny it. I can prove it with one phrase; Alia wearing negligee." 

 X immediately stopped what he was saying and blushed. Zero smiled, " You see? Your turning as red as my armor, you cant deny it." 

 Sighing in defeat X accepted his friends banter, " Maybe a little."

 " Only a little?"

" Ok a lot, there you satisfied now?" 

Zero grinned, " See how much better you feel now that it's out in the open? So tell me X now that you know about her, what are you going to do about it?"

X looked blankly at his empty mug, " Truthfully, I don't know. Probably nothing." 

It was Zero's turn to choke on his drink, " No offence buddy, but that's not the answer I was expecting."

 " Well excuse me for not wanting to ruin a friendship." Snorted X. By now the alcohol had begun to take affect on both reploids.  " Besides, I'm not too great when dealing with women.  She's special, and its not something I want to ruin you know?"  

 Both reploids nodded and sat alone in awkward silence. Each one thinking about that special someone, the only difference being; one thinking about what he could loose, while the other thought about what he had lost.

 " We have a mission tomorrow."

 Zero shook himself out of his thoughts, " Eh? Did you say mission X?" 

 X nodded, " Where suppose to report to Douglas tomorrow at 06:00. That's the reason why I came here. Guess I got a little sidetracked."  X checked his internal chronometer, " Its close to three AM Zero, I'm heading out to clean up and get some sleep for tomorrow."

" Right, I'll be behind you after I finish this last drink then."  X nodded as he stood and made his way out the door. Zero watched his friend leave while taking a sip of his drink, Roy who had seen his former commander's solemn expression walked over to Zero.

 " So what's bugging Mega?"

 Zero shrugged, " The usual crap, well that and he's got woman problems." 

 Roy nodded and grinned, " Alia again eh? Well I can say whenever he does figure it out he's going to make some SOB rich." 

 " Whoa hold on their Roy and back up a sec."  Zero was now leaning to one side fully facing the bartender, " What exactly did you mean by that remark?"

 Roy looked blankly at the crimson hunter, " You mean you don't know?  Everyone in the bar has been placing in bets on when those two get together. Currently half the base has filtered in at one point or another, hell even Lifesavor came in here at one point, and he hates mingling with the grunts. The person who guesses the closest gets the cash pot." 

 Zero eyed him suspiciously, " And exactly how much are we talking about?"

Roy edged closer, " Currently the pot is at a cool fifteen thousand." 

 For the second time that night Zero spilled his drink on himself, " Christ man are you serious!?"

" Dead serous."

 Zero whistled in amazement, " Is that so."  Mentally inside his head the gears began to turn rapidly over the days events. " Pull out the betting book Roy, I think I'm going to make a contribution to the cause." The bartender smiled as he reached under the counter and pulled out a black binder and opened it. Zero glanced at the dates taken, mulling silently to himself he smiled as he placed his finger on a date. " That one."

 Roy looked at the blond hunter suspiciously, " One month from today? Your awful confident there aren't you?" 

 Zero shrugged, " Not really, just estimating from past experience."  Roy arched an eyebrow as Zero cracked an evil smile.

" Roy, I think I found my new hobby."

== Another chapter bites the dust! Honestly who would have thought writing action scenes would be such a pain? shrugs ah well guess I'd better get  used to it seeing how the next chapter's going to be chalked full of the stuff. Anyhoo R+R, remember think constructive criticism, because people who don't usually wind up looking like an ass. And there are enough asses in this world we don't need any more don't you agree?