Chapter Two - Meet the Parents
******
A/N - That three headed dog of doom was beginning to look hungry!
******
In the dark catacombs of the castle beyond the Goblin City, all was quiet. Three
figures initiated a whispered conversation of a bottle of cheap Merlot when suddenly a
fourth entered silently.
"I finally got Caradoc of to sleep!" said the fourth person and the others whispered an
enthusiastic Yay of approval.
These four strange entities were of course Jareth, Sarah, Hilarity and Thomas Newton.
The latter two were both from other planets and had befriended the Goblin King and
his Queen many years ago in a series of unusual adventures which even now are
impossible to understand. Still the sheer absurdity of these exploits had brought them
closer together and never once had they missed their Friday night get together. Friday
night had been traditionally set up by Jareth and Hilarity as a Scrabble evening but as
the group grew over the years they abandoned the whole board game scene and
switched to getting totally bladdered instead.
"I'm sorry, Hils, but this is something we need to do." said Thomas, continuing the
argument from before.
"No! Please don't make me go!" came his reply.
"I'm going to have to meet your parents sooner or later."
"Trust me, meet them later. Much later."
"Are you ashamed of me or something?"
"Of course not, darling. I'm ashamed of them!"
"What's going on?" asked Sarah.
"Tom wants me to introduce him to my parents!" said Hilarity and mimed her own
strangulation.
"So. We're all embarrassed by our parents. It's part of life."
"Get your parents bad qualities and multiply them by infinity and you might just get
slightly closer to what my parents are like."
"Can't be that bad." said Sarah "But if you're really not happy about it we could all go
and create a diversion as it were."
"Oh no we couldn't!" said Jareth firmly.
"Why not?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Flashback to Eight Years Ago ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hilarity and Jareth stood frozen with horror in the middle of a chintz wallpapered hell.
"I really don't know what to say!" said Hilarity's mother gravely "Getting drunk!
Staying out all night! Steeling a life-size inflatable Michelin Man!! Dressing it in drag
and scaring old ladies with it in the park!!! And then you get arrested and its muggins
here who has to bail you out!"
"I'm sorry." said Hilarity.
"Just wait till your father gets home!" said her mother "Have you any idea on how
much we spend on your education? I will not stand by and watch you waste it by
criminal behaviour and fraternising with campy kidnappers!"
"Hey, I resent that!" shouted Jareth.
"You resent it! Well you should have thought about that before you started leading my
daughter astray!"
"Me! Leading her astray? My dear lady, I think you'll find that it was mostly the other
way round."
"You're a bad influence! You and your Gremlins!"
"Goblins!"
"It doesn't matter what they are! What matters is that I'm holding you personally
responsible!"
"Oi, Zip it!" said Jareth and threw a small crystal in Hilarity's mum's direction. Mrs
Freak's eyes glazed over with horror when she found that her lips had been replaced
by a large zipper.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Eand Flashback ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That's why." said Hilarity cringing at the memory. "No. It's very sweet of you to
offer, Sarah, but this is something we need to do on our own."
******
A/N - That three headed dog of doom was beginning to look hungry!
******
In the dark catacombs of the castle beyond the Goblin City, all was quiet. Three
figures initiated a whispered conversation of a bottle of cheap Merlot when suddenly a
fourth entered silently.
"I finally got Caradoc of to sleep!" said the fourth person and the others whispered an
enthusiastic Yay of approval.
These four strange entities were of course Jareth, Sarah, Hilarity and Thomas Newton.
The latter two were both from other planets and had befriended the Goblin King and
his Queen many years ago in a series of unusual adventures which even now are
impossible to understand. Still the sheer absurdity of these exploits had brought them
closer together and never once had they missed their Friday night get together. Friday
night had been traditionally set up by Jareth and Hilarity as a Scrabble evening but as
the group grew over the years they abandoned the whole board game scene and
switched to getting totally bladdered instead.
"I'm sorry, Hils, but this is something we need to do." said Thomas, continuing the
argument from before.
"No! Please don't make me go!" came his reply.
"I'm going to have to meet your parents sooner or later."
"Trust me, meet them later. Much later."
"Are you ashamed of me or something?"
"Of course not, darling. I'm ashamed of them!"
"What's going on?" asked Sarah.
"Tom wants me to introduce him to my parents!" said Hilarity and mimed her own
strangulation.
"So. We're all embarrassed by our parents. It's part of life."
"Get your parents bad qualities and multiply them by infinity and you might just get
slightly closer to what my parents are like."
"Can't be that bad." said Sarah "But if you're really not happy about it we could all go
and create a diversion as it were."
"Oh no we couldn't!" said Jareth firmly.
"Why not?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Flashback to Eight Years Ago ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hilarity and Jareth stood frozen with horror in the middle of a chintz wallpapered hell.
"I really don't know what to say!" said Hilarity's mother gravely "Getting drunk!
Staying out all night! Steeling a life-size inflatable Michelin Man!! Dressing it in drag
and scaring old ladies with it in the park!!! And then you get arrested and its muggins
here who has to bail you out!"
"I'm sorry." said Hilarity.
"Just wait till your father gets home!" said her mother "Have you any idea on how
much we spend on your education? I will not stand by and watch you waste it by
criminal behaviour and fraternising with campy kidnappers!"
"Hey, I resent that!" shouted Jareth.
"You resent it! Well you should have thought about that before you started leading my
daughter astray!"
"Me! Leading her astray? My dear lady, I think you'll find that it was mostly the other
way round."
"You're a bad influence! You and your Gremlins!"
"Goblins!"
"It doesn't matter what they are! What matters is that I'm holding you personally
responsible!"
"Oi, Zip it!" said Jareth and threw a small crystal in Hilarity's mum's direction. Mrs
Freak's eyes glazed over with horror when she found that her lips had been replaced
by a large zipper.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Eand Flashback ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That's why." said Hilarity cringing at the memory. "No. It's very sweet of you to
offer, Sarah, but this is something we need to do on our own."
