Chapter Six - Ve haf Vays of makingk you talk!
******
The next thing Trin knew, he was strapped to a table with a bright light shinning in his
eyes.
"Hils? Where are you? Joke's over now. I want to go home." he cried.
"You are not goingk anyvere, you idiotic little bourgeoisie!" said a squeaky voice with
an oddly Russian accent.
"Burjwa what now?!" said Trin thoroughly confused.
"Bourgeoisie it's a political term for...er...oh never mind!" said the voice. "I am Boris.
His Majesty's right hand Goblin."
"Oh no! Not you lot again!"
"Silence! You are currently under arrest for treason and general buggeration against
the Goblin City."
"What?! How?"
"That is vat ve vant to know, alien scum. Who haf you been talkingk to and vat did
you tell them?"
"I haven't been 'talkingk' to anyone you disgusting little creature. And I resent being
called scum. I'm not scum, my species merely evolved from scum!"
Before the little Goblin could argue further, a door opened and he was picked up by
the scruff of the neck and chucked through it. The bright light was then turned off and
Trin suddenly realised that he was lying on Hilarity's dinning room table and it was
the same who had rescued him from the terrible Russian wrath he was about to
endure.
"Hi Trin. Sorry about that." she said.
"Hils? What's going on? Who was that?!"
"Who? Boris? Oh, don't worry about him. He's just Jareth's butler."
"He said he was a right hand Goblin."
"That's only because he's right handed. I think he must've misunderstood and gotten a
little overexcited."
"Well, can you untie me then?"
"In a word...no."
"Why not?"
"Just a teeny little problem. The Labyrinth's been ransacked by what seemed to be
pirates and Jareth got this crazy idea that you were responsible." her tone was much
more sinister than usual.
"So...what's the problem?" said Trin warily.
"The problem, my dear cousin, is that I now have the entire population of Goblin City
camping out in my living room! And if we don't get them out soon, I will not be held
responsible for my actions!"
"I thought you didn't mind the Goblins that much."
"That was when they were in the castle, where they belong. Not when they're running
riot in my house, breaking my stuff and treading goodness knows what into the carpet!
Now did you tell anyone about Labyrinth's secret underwater shortcut?"
"The Coral Caves?"
"Yes."
"Where we went on that fishing trip?"
"Yes."
"And how the only way to get in is to play Echoes by Pink Floyd on the stylophone
whilst dancing the Can Can?"
"Whoever designed that bit had a weird sense of humour, but yes."
"Ah!"
"Ah...what?"
"Ah! As in : Ah! I may have told a few guys down the pub."
"Ok. That might not be too bad. Did they look at all....piratey?"
"Not really." said Trin, deep in recollection. "But I think one of them had a peg
leg....and a three cornered sailing hat...and an eyepatch....and a parrot." he looked
away, his face full of shame. "I thought it was a new trend! They were all wearing
them!"
Hilarity shook her head with disbelief "Oh Trin." she sighed.
******
The next thing Trin knew, he was strapped to a table with a bright light shinning in his
eyes.
"Hils? Where are you? Joke's over now. I want to go home." he cried.
"You are not goingk anyvere, you idiotic little bourgeoisie!" said a squeaky voice with
an oddly Russian accent.
"Burjwa what now?!" said Trin thoroughly confused.
"Bourgeoisie it's a political term for...er...oh never mind!" said the voice. "I am Boris.
His Majesty's right hand Goblin."
"Oh no! Not you lot again!"
"Silence! You are currently under arrest for treason and general buggeration against
the Goblin City."
"What?! How?"
"That is vat ve vant to know, alien scum. Who haf you been talkingk to and vat did
you tell them?"
"I haven't been 'talkingk' to anyone you disgusting little creature. And I resent being
called scum. I'm not scum, my species merely evolved from scum!"
Before the little Goblin could argue further, a door opened and he was picked up by
the scruff of the neck and chucked through it. The bright light was then turned off and
Trin suddenly realised that he was lying on Hilarity's dinning room table and it was
the same who had rescued him from the terrible Russian wrath he was about to
endure.
"Hi Trin. Sorry about that." she said.
"Hils? What's going on? Who was that?!"
"Who? Boris? Oh, don't worry about him. He's just Jareth's butler."
"He said he was a right hand Goblin."
"That's only because he's right handed. I think he must've misunderstood and gotten a
little overexcited."
"Well, can you untie me then?"
"In a word...no."
"Why not?"
"Just a teeny little problem. The Labyrinth's been ransacked by what seemed to be
pirates and Jareth got this crazy idea that you were responsible." her tone was much
more sinister than usual.
"So...what's the problem?" said Trin warily.
"The problem, my dear cousin, is that I now have the entire population of Goblin City
camping out in my living room! And if we don't get them out soon, I will not be held
responsible for my actions!"
"I thought you didn't mind the Goblins that much."
"That was when they were in the castle, where they belong. Not when they're running
riot in my house, breaking my stuff and treading goodness knows what into the carpet!
Now did you tell anyone about Labyrinth's secret underwater shortcut?"
"The Coral Caves?"
"Yes."
"Where we went on that fishing trip?"
"Yes."
"And how the only way to get in is to play Echoes by Pink Floyd on the stylophone
whilst dancing the Can Can?"
"Whoever designed that bit had a weird sense of humour, but yes."
"Ah!"
"Ah...what?"
"Ah! As in : Ah! I may have told a few guys down the pub."
"Ok. That might not be too bad. Did they look at all....piratey?"
"Not really." said Trin, deep in recollection. "But I think one of them had a peg
leg....and a three cornered sailing hat...and an eyepatch....and a parrot." he looked
away, his face full of shame. "I thought it was a new trend! They were all wearing
them!"
Hilarity shook her head with disbelief "Oh Trin." she sighed.
