A/N: Here is the next chapter, don't hate me. I can't wait to post Chapter 15. Hehe, I'm going nuts with that one as we go. But two chapters until then! Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own the original people. They belong to Larson.
Foregiveness and Arguments
Gen, Mark, Maureen, and Collins had all seen the scene that had just happened between Roger and Fi, so when Fi collapsed, all four of them jumped out of their seats nearly toppling the table over. Roger had caught Fi before she had hit the floor and gently brought her down so that she was lying down on the floor. He was supporting her neck trying to get her to wake up. Gen pushed past everyone yelling as she went, "Excuse me...pardon me...excuse me...MOVE!" At the sound of a very perturbed woman, the crowd parted. She ran to her sister's side and checked her breathing and pulse making sure that she had only fainted, and not something worse. Mark ran up and stood behind Gen as she sat examining her sister. "Mark, do me a favor, go get a cold cloth." He nodded and ran to the kitchens. He came back a second later with the cloth. "Thanks love." She placed it on her sister's forehead and moved her up to a sitting position and started fanning her, "Roger just support her back for me, yes like that, thanks." About five minutes later, Fi finally opened her eyes and looked around at the concerned crowd around her."Uh, hey?" She stammered.
"You alright?" Gen asked.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. What's going on?"
Roger spoke up, "Well um, you kind of fainted after I told you I had AIDS."
"Damn, I thought that was a nightmare. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" She asked growing angry.
"Well, I didn't exactly know how..." Roger stated quietly, he could tell Fi was getting angry but he wasn't about to get into an argument, not over that, and not right now.
She glared at him for a moment before she placed her hands on her knees and stood up, "We'll talk later." She told him coldly. He only nodded.
Aaron whom had been standing on the steps of the stage the entire time watched the exchange and grew anxious. 'What is this, the fucking AIDS club?' He thought bitterly to himself. First his boyfriend, now his best friend's boyfriend, next thing he knew Mark would admonishing to the fact that he had AIDS as well. Collins looked up at Aaron and stilled at the icy glare hidden in Aaron's eyes. 'Great.' Collins thought. Aaron finally noticed that Collins was there and when he made sure that Fi was alright he nodded to the door, sending the message that he wanted to meet Collins outside. Collins nodded and made his way to the door, Aaron soon followed, guitar case in hand.
The two men walked down the street in silence. Not one stranger would be able to tell that the two were a couple by the distance that Aaron had put between himself and Collins. Finally Collins spoke up, "You guys sounded great up there."
"Thank you."
"You looked great up there." Aaron stopped, so did Collins. Aaron sighed and stared straight ahead before turning to look at Collins. He studied the black man before him, the man who had stolen his heart, the only person ever to do that. The two looked at each other for a few moments before Aaron cleared his throat and became absorbed in the oh-so interesting cracks in the sidewalks, even the almost microscopic ones. Collins sighed and took a step towards Aaron, Aaron stood still, so Collins took another one and another and one more until he was right in front of Aaron. Collins was not that much taller than the brunette boy with gorgeous brown eyes in front of him, but tall enough that Aaron had to lift his chin slightly to meet Collins gaze. "You still look great." Aaron smiled.
"So do you."
"Are we over?"
"No." Aaron whispered. Collins's spirits lifted considerably.
"You don't hate me?"
"How could I hate you for something you can't even control?" Aaron said. He looked at Collins for a moment and caressed Collins's cheek with his fingertips. "I am sorry for the way I acted earlier, it's just...it's a lot to take in. The fact that your boyfriend has a disease which is going to eventually allow another disease to take him, that he has something that not even the wonderful world of science can cure. How..." he broke off for a second, and then continued, "how do you life with that everyday."
"Because of people like you."
"What?" Aaron asked, confusion clouding his eyes.
Collins sighed and rubbed his hand over his head, his usual hat missing. "Aaron, you're an amazing person. When I look at you, I forget everything that has haunted me in the past years. I forget the picture painted in my mind of Angel in her dying days. I forget the cloudy miserable day that held her funeral, and I forget all the reasons I've wanted to stop living. Mark, Maureen, Roger, Joanne...they're all my family. They love me, I know that, but for a while there has been nothing to look forward. When I met you however, that changed. I care about you, and I want you to stick around. I didn't think I could feel again, but you did it, you melted some frozen chamber inside me. And I-" He was stopped when lips crushed over his. Collins stood shocked for a moment before responding. He never felt more at home than he did right at the moment, with Aarons arms wrapped around him and Aaron's lips moving passionately over his. As the kiss deepened, Collins realized all was forgotten. When Aaron pulled back though, Collins saw a shadow of guilt flicker in his eyes, he however took it as though Aaron had felt bad about earlier. The two men smiled at each other and Collins reached down and grasped both of Aaron's hands, Aaron intertwined his fingers with Collins, and they stood there for a moment in a slight heaven. Aaron then blushed and let go of one of Collins's hand, the other still firmly clasped in his. The two then walked back to the apartment, Aaron slightly humming, and Collins's feeling as though he had just been granted a gift.
Back at the club, Maureen, Gen, and Fi all stood in a corner talking. Maureen said something and all three girls laughed. Roger and Mark sat at a table watching the girls. Mark gazed at Gen while Roger stared at the flickering candle on the table. Gen moved a stray strand of hair behind her ear and nodded at something Fi was saying, she kept her hand at her ear and then laughed once again. Mark continued to stare at her. He studied her profile; she was pretty tall for a woman, reaching at least 5'7 if not more. She was taller than her sister at least, but that was the only major difference between the two girls. She too had red hair, like Fi, it was lighter than Fi's however. 'Must have been because of her constant work in the sun.' He thought. Her dark blue eyes resembled that of the ocean at night but danced whenever she laughed. She was slightly tan, about as tan as a redhead with freckles could get. She was not overly "busty" but Mark liked that, she had a toned stomach and the muscles in her legs were toned as well. She was, in his opinion, beautiful. She looked fantastic in the black skirt and white sweater and heels. Exquisite yet casual. But that was her personality he had found out. She could be pensive and humorous at the same time; it really wasn't a wonder that he was drawn to her. He tore his attention away from Gen and looked over at his friend. He patted Roger's back, not saying anything, knowing there was nothing he could say. Fi would either accept him as he was, or she would walk out of his life. Mark hoped she would stay; he could not bear to watch his friend heartbroken again. Life had never been fair to Roger, so when Fi walked in, there was the possibility that life had finally given up on screwing with Roger. Now, Mark realized that the games had only begun.
While Gen stood in the corner with Fi, she listened to Maureen's story and laughed...a lot. She found herself liking Maureen more and more and realized that she had just made a wonderful new friend. When Fi started telling her own story, Gen stole a discreet glance over to the table where Roger and Mark sat. She felt her heart sink at the obvious pain Roger was in at the moment. He had guts to tell Fi, and she was glad that he told her before their relationship went too far, but she still felt bad at Fi's blatant rejection of Roger in his moment of honesty. Gen did not care that Roger and Collins had AIDS, but she feared their futures. She watched around a hundred people die from the diseases that came with the territory of being an AIDS home. She watched their pain, and she looked into each and every one of those patients when the pain was just too much and held their hands when they felt consumed. She knew Collins and Roger would face that end in the upcoming years, and she knew that Aaron had taken Collins back graciously, but she was not too sure if her sister would do the same. She would have to talk to Fi about it later on.
Gen then looked over at Mark and felt her lips grow into a smile. He looked fantastic tonight, but yet he had when she first met him. He sat there with his friend and Gen admired his compassion towards Roger. The two had obviously been through everything together. She then studied him. The blondish-brownish hair that lay in disarray on top of his head gave Gen the urge to go over there and smooth it down, just to give her a reason to touch him. The thing most appealing about Mark's appearance was his glasses. The vibrant green eyes that were surrounded by a wire frame gave him a look of intelligence and when he smiled...oh god how that smile made her go weak at the knees. He had a wonderful smile, beautiful lips, and gorgeous white teeth. She continued to study him, completely oblivious to Fi and Maureen's constant, "Gen...Gen..." Finally Fi snapped her fingers in front of Gen's face, "Gen!" Gen jumped back.
"Huh? What? Did I miss something?"
Maureen grinned, "You could say that...who were you looking at?"
Gen blushed and didn't answer. "Now, now, we can't have that, who has captured your vision for the past five minutes." Maureen asked, craning her neck to see who Gen was so interested in.
Instead of Gen answering Maureen's question she asked, "Anyone for coffee?"
Maureen pouted at Gen's dismissal of her question but acquiesced. "Sure why not?" The two girls began walking, but Fi stood behind.
Gen looked at Maureen, "You go on ahead; I need to talk to my sister for a moment." Maureen looked at her, then Fi, before nodding and walking out the doors. Gen walked back to where Fi stood and placed her hands on Fi's shoulder. "Fi, look at me," Fi looked up, "are you alright." Fi sucked in a breath of air and turned her head to the side before nodding, hoping that Gen had not noticed the tears that formed in her eyes. Gen had. "He cares for you Fi, he really does."
She chocked out, "I know."
"Then what's the problem."
"What's the problem?" She laughed crazily, "What's the problem? The guy I'm dating at the moment just told me he has AIDS. I may not know much about AIDS patients, and I may have never seen someone die from it, but I know this. He will die. He IS dying."
Gen nodded, "So don't waste time."
"What?"
"Don't give up something great just because you fear the inevitable. Roger will die, but guess what, one day you will too. He's just going to die a little while earlier than you will. Roger treats you better then Brian ever did. So when you two talk, remember that. Alright?" Fi nodded. Gen kissed her forehead and headed towards the door. When she passed Mark and Roger's table, Mark reached out and gently grabbed her hand, pulling her into his lap.
"Hey beautiful." He whispered in her ear while pulling a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Hey."
"Where are you going?"
"To meet Maureen for coffee."
"You two becoming friends?" He asked.
She nodded, "Yeah, she's a riot."
"You do know she's a..."
"Lesbian? Bisexual? Yeah I know. I'm not freaked out by it."
"Good."
"But if she makes any passes I'll beat the crap out of her." Gen said, then winked.
Mark felt relieved that she was so open to Maureen's sexual preferences, but even more so that she had just subtly stated, 'I'm in no way attracted to her or females.' She leaned her head on his shoulder for a second and looked over at Roger. "Hey Roger, you alright?" She asked quietly.
He looked over at her and smiled slightly, "No. But thanks for asking."
She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "Give her time." She said and squeezed his hand. He swallowed and nodded. "Alright, well I'm going to go. Want to come?" She asked Mark. He looked at her, then Roger, then Fi, realizing what Gen was doing, he nodded.
"Sure, sounds good to me."
"Bye Rog." Gen said.
"Bye Bud." Mark said.
"Bye." Roger echoed.
The coupled walked out of the club hand-in-hand and then walked down the street. Gen looked up at the sparkling lights of the city. "Beautiful night." She stated.
Mark looked up, "Yeah, it is." He looked over at Gen, "How come you're so comfortable with AIDS?" He asked.
"Like I said, I worked with people who had contracted HIV/AIDS everyday. I watched many of them die. People can't help what's happening to them, and I know it has to be horrible to have your body lying in a bed when the mind is still fully capable of living."
Mark nodded. "Sounds like you got a lot out of working in Africa."
She smiled, "I really did. But enough of that, I want to talk about this-" She said while pulling Mark down into a kiss. Mark smiled into the kiss before wrapping his arms around her waist while she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down to deepen the kiss. Funny, the air around them was bitter cold, but Gen and Mark had never felt so warm before. She started giggling, and he pulled back.
"What?"
She smiled and started walking away, "Nothing."
"What's that supposed to-"
"Mark! Gen! I wondered where you were!" Maureen said to them, running up to Gen and looping her arm through Gen's arm. "Come on, it's freezing out here." Maureen said, pulling Mark and Gen into the coffee shop.
'Damn you Maureen,' Mark thought while they sat down and ordered. Gen smiled and kissed him once more before engaging herself in a conversation with Maureen.
Mark smiled for the rest of the night.
Back at the club, Fi had walked up to the table where Roger was and sat across from him. "Roger, we need to talk."
"Not here."
"Where then?"
"The loft."
Fi nodded, "Alright come on." The two walked out of the club and made their way to the loft, a tense silence filling the space between them. When they reached Fi's apartment, she opened the door to a sleeping Collins and Aaron on the couch. She smiled at them, then turned to Roger, "Your place, Collins and Aaron are sleeping."
"Yeah, alright."
Roger and Fi walked upstairs to the loft, Roger unlocked the door, and allowed Fi to go in first. "Thanks."
"No problem." Fi shrugged off her coat and walked over to the old, beaten up couch, and sat down. She sighed and placed her head in her hands. Roger stood at the door, unsure of what to do. She sat like that for what seemed forever to Roger before she sighed once again and rubbed her eyes.
"How long have you had it?"
"I found out the day April died."
"Is that why she killed herself." She asked looking over at him. He nodded. She felt horrible for him, he looked defeated. "Do you know how you got it?"
"Not quite sure. Either from a bad needle, or from April."
"I see."
"Fi, listen, I didn't ask for this, and maybe this is my punishment for being a selfish asshole for so long. I wish I could change this, but I can't."
"No. I know you can't." She said, looking down at the floor. "What I don't understand is this, why...when you were telling me your past earlier, and all the crap you've gone through, why didn't you tell me about it then?"
"I didn't know how."
"How about when you told me about April's death, since that's where this began." She pointed out.
"What can I say? I made a mistake."
"Seems like you've made many of those." She whispered.
"Excuse me?" He asked growing angry.
"You heard me, and I do not wish to repeat myself. I realize that was uncalled for, but it's true isn't it. If you hadn't done drugs its quite likely you would not be in this position, correct?" She asked, standing up to face him.
"It's possible, but it's also possible that I'd still be in this position. Remember April, or Mimi? Both were HIV positive, both died one of whom, after she had full blown AIDS and I dated both women!" He said a little loudly.
"Calm down." Fi stated somewhat calmly
"The hell I will! I tell you something that I know you need to know and you throw everything I've told you in the past day into my face. That's great, real great."
"I'm sorry okay. But I do have a question for you. If Collins hadn't told Aaron he had AIDS, would you still have told me today, or would you have waited longer?"
"I-I don't know. We talked last night, and we both agreed it would be best to tell you two as soon as possible before things got deeper."
"I see." Was all that she said.
"Is that all? I see?"
"What do you want me to say Roger? What is it that you're looking for?"
"Reassurance damn it! A little 'everything will be alright Roger,' or 'I'll be here for your Roger,' anything!"
"I can't say those things."
"Why?"
"Because everything won't be alright! You are going to die!"
"I know that! I watched the one person who was ever able to fully understand me and accept me for what I am die. I know I'm going to die. I know that. I don't need you or anyone else to tell me that. I wake up with that certainty everyday!"
"Then how can you expect me to live with that reality!" She shouted.
"Because I thought you cared. I thought-" he broke off and turned to the window.
"You thought what? That I would be so accepting of every blemish that you have. That it wouldn't matter? That I'd be able to be this happy- go-lucky gal and just smile with the fucking punches. You obviously do not know me Roger Davis."
"Obviously not."
"I don't need your sarcasm asshole."
"And I don't need to feel guilty because of something I can't control."
"You're right. You can't control that you have AIDS, and I sure as hell can't control how I feel about it. I'm leaving." She said walking to the door.
"Wait." She stopped and turned to him. "Does this mean we're over? Before we really started."
"I-I don't know Roger. I'm sorry, just...just let me think on this for a while. Okay?"
He nodded and stared down at the streets. She turned back to the door and walked out, shutting the door behind her before hurrying down the stairs. She opened the door of her apartment and walked to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face and looked at her reflection and sighed. She turned off the bathroom lights but was confronted by Gen.
"How'd it go?" Fi just shoved past her and walked into her bedroom. "What did you do?" She asked Fi.
Fi looked up, "What do you mean."
"I mean, what did you do?"
"I didn't do anything."
"Sure."
"Fine, I may have said a few things that weren't...kind."
"Like?"
"Like I may have kind of blamed him for his current situation." Gen groaned. "What?"
"Nothing. But listen to me now. Roger is a great guy, he really cares about you. So before you totally screw up things between you two, apologize to him."
"Why should I?"
"Are you really that dense? My god Fi! He's the best thing to ever happen to you and you're willing to throw it away before it really gets good only because he has AIDS."
"It's kind of a big deal."
"I know it is! Listen. I've never been disappointed in you. Never once have I been disgusted by your behavior. You've always been kind to people, and never judged people wrongly. But right now, I'm so disappointed in you. You're letting AIDS dictate a relationship, and that's idiotic."
"Yes oh-wise-one." Fi stated sarcastically.
"No, don't do that. Do not turn this on me. You screwed up, now you fix it." Gen said before slamming her door and walking back into her own room, slamming the door behind her.
A/N: Okay people do what you need to do! The next chapter will probably deal a little more with Gen and Mark (the only two sane ones) as well as Maureen and Joanne, but chapter 15 will be good.
