Chapter Eight - Planet of Penzance!
******
A/N - Back on track! Hooray! Bloody revision!
******
"Trin has something to say." said Hilarity solemnly and looked across at her cousin.
When he didn't say anything, she quickly stamped on his foot.
"OW! Jesus Christ, Hils!!" said Trin with shock and pain "Er...I mean I'm sorry. I got
drunk and unwittingly told some pirates how to get into your Labyrinth."
"But don't worry! I have a plan." Hilarity cut in, trying to prolong Trin's life for at least
a few more seconds.
"All right. But be quick with it. You're wasting valuable killing time." Jareth growled.
"All we need to do to get rid of the pirate problem is to find an equally motley crew
and hire them as mercenaries to get the Labyrinth back."
Jareth thought about this for a while and seemed to come to a conclusion. "That's a
very good idea actually. But first I must let the Goblins kill your cousin."
"Don't even think about it!" Hilarity shouted, (mentally noting all the stuff she would
get Trin to do to pay her back after this horrible mess was cleared up) "Or I'll never
speak to you ever again!" she threatened.
"Vell, can't ve just mortally vound him?" Boris piped up.
"No!"
"Maul 'im a little bit?" another Goblin whined.
"No!" the aliens shouted.
******
After half an hour of bargaining, the Goblins were finally promised two paper cuts
and a nasty toe stubbing, much to Trin's protests. It was hardly the vengeance they
desired but it would have to do seeing as Hilarity was their King's only source of cable
TV and liquorice allsorts.
"Right." said Hilarity in a business-like manner. "The first thing we need to do is get
some pirates."
"Where the hell are we going to find pirates on a Saturday?" said Thomas sceptically.
"Well there is one place. But it is strictly forbidden for all law abiding life-forms to go
there..." said Hilarity grimly.
"So, no problem there." joked Jareth. "Where is this place?"
"The outlaw planet of Penzance!" said Hilarity dramatically "Home to the
inter-galactic black market, the League of Mafiosi Compadrates and scores and scores
of pirates!"
"Sounds perfect." said Trin uneasily.
"But we have to leave right now if you want to beat the bank holiday weekend space
traffic on the 18675XT3omega bypass." said Hilarity. "Otherwise there'll be no chance
of getting there before Tuesday."
"But we can't leave now! Sarah's still at Selfridges and we need to get someone to
baby-sit Caradoc." said Jareth.
They all looked around at each other. Someone would have to stay.
"I don't mind staying behind!" said Trin eagerly.
"You will not!" said Hilarity "You need to face up to your responsibilities."
"I'll stay." groaned Thomas.
"Oh no, Tom. You can come if you want." said Hilarity, her tone softening.
"No, It's seems sensible. I'll explain everything to Sarah and make sure the Goblins
don't break anything. Besides, if anyone on Penzance found out I was from another
Galaxy, they'd probably hunt me for my ivory or something!"
And so, after a hurried goodbye, Jareth , Hilarity, Trin and Boris made their way to the
battered silver space ship that was parallel parked outside the apartment block...
******
A/N - Back on track! Hooray! Bloody revision!
******
"Trin has something to say." said Hilarity solemnly and looked across at her cousin.
When he didn't say anything, she quickly stamped on his foot.
"OW! Jesus Christ, Hils!!" said Trin with shock and pain "Er...I mean I'm sorry. I got
drunk and unwittingly told some pirates how to get into your Labyrinth."
"But don't worry! I have a plan." Hilarity cut in, trying to prolong Trin's life for at least
a few more seconds.
"All right. But be quick with it. You're wasting valuable killing time." Jareth growled.
"All we need to do to get rid of the pirate problem is to find an equally motley crew
and hire them as mercenaries to get the Labyrinth back."
Jareth thought about this for a while and seemed to come to a conclusion. "That's a
very good idea actually. But first I must let the Goblins kill your cousin."
"Don't even think about it!" Hilarity shouted, (mentally noting all the stuff she would
get Trin to do to pay her back after this horrible mess was cleared up) "Or I'll never
speak to you ever again!" she threatened.
"Vell, can't ve just mortally vound him?" Boris piped up.
"No!"
"Maul 'im a little bit?" another Goblin whined.
"No!" the aliens shouted.
******
After half an hour of bargaining, the Goblins were finally promised two paper cuts
and a nasty toe stubbing, much to Trin's protests. It was hardly the vengeance they
desired but it would have to do seeing as Hilarity was their King's only source of cable
TV and liquorice allsorts.
"Right." said Hilarity in a business-like manner. "The first thing we need to do is get
some pirates."
"Where the hell are we going to find pirates on a Saturday?" said Thomas sceptically.
"Well there is one place. But it is strictly forbidden for all law abiding life-forms to go
there..." said Hilarity grimly.
"So, no problem there." joked Jareth. "Where is this place?"
"The outlaw planet of Penzance!" said Hilarity dramatically "Home to the
inter-galactic black market, the League of Mafiosi Compadrates and scores and scores
of pirates!"
"Sounds perfect." said Trin uneasily.
"But we have to leave right now if you want to beat the bank holiday weekend space
traffic on the 18675XT3omega bypass." said Hilarity. "Otherwise there'll be no chance
of getting there before Tuesday."
"But we can't leave now! Sarah's still at Selfridges and we need to get someone to
baby-sit Caradoc." said Jareth.
They all looked around at each other. Someone would have to stay.
"I don't mind staying behind!" said Trin eagerly.
"You will not!" said Hilarity "You need to face up to your responsibilities."
"I'll stay." groaned Thomas.
"Oh no, Tom. You can come if you want." said Hilarity, her tone softening.
"No, It's seems sensible. I'll explain everything to Sarah and make sure the Goblins
don't break anything. Besides, if anyone on Penzance found out I was from another
Galaxy, they'd probably hunt me for my ivory or something!"
And so, after a hurried goodbye, Jareth , Hilarity, Trin and Boris made their way to the
battered silver space ship that was parallel parked outside the apartment block...
