Chapter Thirteen - The Deal!
A/N - OK this one's been a bit delayed. It's not easy to write in your revision breaks. Since I've gone so long without a review, I've had to resort to some suggested (Hilarity/Thomas) sexual content.
The guard led our three heroes to the centre table and whispered something incoherent
to the elaborate pirate who Hilarity had guessed must be said Pirate King. No matter
how grave the situation was becoming she just couldn't take it seriously and the
giggles were quickly accumulating. The Pirate King looked them up and down lazily.
"So, you urgently need our help? Yargh." he said simply in the thickest of piratey
accents.
"Why are you from Yorkshire?" said Trin with confused.
"Silence! Ye scurvy dog!" said the man angrily then turned to Hilarity and leered.
"Argh! Ye be a fine lass! Why don't we ditch the weed and the mullet man and spend
a romantic evening 'pon the shores o' foreign lands...pillaging every town we see."
"Well, that's a lovely offer, it really is!" said Hilarity struggling to keep a straight face
"But I'm seeing someone at the moment."
"Oh! Terribly sorry, my dear. I meant no offence." said the Pirate King apologetically
"So what can I do for you guys?"
"Well, my world has been infested with pirates and my people have been forced into
exile. We want you to go over there and win it back for us." said Jareth, anxious to get
out of this stinking pit.
"Arrgh! And what be in it for us?" said the Pirate King.
"We will give you a handsome reward." said Hilarity.
"Aye, I'm sure ye will, lass, I'm sure ye will. But the last time someone promised us a
handsome reward we ended up with a male go-go dancer named Terry. Yargh! We
need
a bit more'n money in a special case like yours."
"And what is that?" said Jareth dangerously.
"Arrgh! It be merely an act o' good faith. One favour in exchange fer another...." said
the Pirate King with an evil glint in his eye.
"What kind of favour?" said Hilarity. This was quickly turning into one of the
Godfather movies only with Pirates!
"Well, when we needs something done we'll call you." came her reply....
One Week Later
"Wow! Those pirates really did a good job!" said Sarah happily as she and her family
inspected the now spotless Goblin Castle they had returned to. Sadly, the goblins had
also returned to their rightful home and in five seconds flat they had trashed the place
again.
"Yep! It's good to be back." said Jareth "Now I'm just going to go and fix that coral
cave entrance and stop this from happening again. I think I'll change the code to 'If I
were a rich man' from Fiddler on the Roof with a swanee whistle accompaniment."
"You and your weird instruments." Sarah sighed "So how much did all this cost you?"
she asked curiously. Jareth sighed, if there was on thing he couldn't do it was lying to
his wife.
Meanwhile on the planet Zea
Hilarity and Thomas sighed blissfully as they woke up from the best night's sleep
they'd ever had. It had been so hectic that week but now there were no goblin refugee
camps, arguing married couples or manic fae toddlers to stress them out. The fresh
morning light made the one way glass windows shine and the whole city glittered like
diamonds surrounding an amethyst river. The vibrant green of the nearby rainforest
only increased the glare and tiny silver sparks of distant space ships zipped across the
horizon followed by the arrow-like formations of the city's famed blue flamingos who
swirled in a death defying stunt show before settling upon the tepid, purple waters of
the river. Thomas, being from a desert planet, still couldn't believe that much water
existed in one place and who still get pretty excited when it rained. This was why
Hilarity had grown to love thunder storms as their passions nearly always spiralled out
of control in the extreme weather.
"Shhh! Listen!" said Hilarity, feigning fear.
"I don't hear anything! I should know, I've got sonic radar." said Thomas.
"Exactly my point." said Hilarity gleefully and reached for the entertainment section
of the Sunday newspaper. "Oooh look! There's an Andy Warhol exhibition at the
Space-Time Gallery today. Want to go?"
"I can think of better things to do." said Thomas suggestively.
"Honestly Tom! It's only been a week." laughed Hilarity "Anyone would think I
locked you up in a monastery for eight years the way you've been carrying on!" They
kissed passionately.
Back in the Labyrinth
"YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!" shouted Sarah.
"We agreed to do the pirates a favour in return for their services." said Jareth
nervously "It was the only way! They made us an offer we couldn't understand!"
"You're indebted to the Mob!!!"
"Pirates, darling. They're Pirates."
"I don't care what they are! These guys could be dangerous!"
"Relax, Sarah! It can't be that bad. And if it is, I'll just unleash some seriously
dangerous magics on them."
"What kind of favour did they ask of you?"
"They didn't say. They just said they'd let us know if we were needed...."
Back on Zea
"Er...Tom? Have you been eating kippers?" said a confused voice from the tangled
depths of the bedsheets.
"No! Why?" said Tom and poked his head out from under the covers.
"Because someone's put a fish head in our bed!" said Hilarity.
"That's weird! Who could have done that?" they both looked at each other with horror
as it suddenly dawned on them.
"THE PIRATE CALLING CARD!!!"
A/N - OK there wasn't much sexual content in there but it did get your attention. Don't try to deny it! Ha ha!
A/N - OK this one's been a bit delayed. It's not easy to write in your revision breaks. Since I've gone so long without a review, I've had to resort to some suggested (Hilarity/Thomas) sexual content.
The guard led our three heroes to the centre table and whispered something incoherent
to the elaborate pirate who Hilarity had guessed must be said Pirate King. No matter
how grave the situation was becoming she just couldn't take it seriously and the
giggles were quickly accumulating. The Pirate King looked them up and down lazily.
"So, you urgently need our help? Yargh." he said simply in the thickest of piratey
accents.
"Why are you from Yorkshire?" said Trin with confused.
"Silence! Ye scurvy dog!" said the man angrily then turned to Hilarity and leered.
"Argh! Ye be a fine lass! Why don't we ditch the weed and the mullet man and spend
a romantic evening 'pon the shores o' foreign lands...pillaging every town we see."
"Well, that's a lovely offer, it really is!" said Hilarity struggling to keep a straight face
"But I'm seeing someone at the moment."
"Oh! Terribly sorry, my dear. I meant no offence." said the Pirate King apologetically
"So what can I do for you guys?"
"Well, my world has been infested with pirates and my people have been forced into
exile. We want you to go over there and win it back for us." said Jareth, anxious to get
out of this stinking pit.
"Arrgh! And what be in it for us?" said the Pirate King.
"We will give you a handsome reward." said Hilarity.
"Aye, I'm sure ye will, lass, I'm sure ye will. But the last time someone promised us a
handsome reward we ended up with a male go-go dancer named Terry. Yargh! We
need
a bit more'n money in a special case like yours."
"And what is that?" said Jareth dangerously.
"Arrgh! It be merely an act o' good faith. One favour in exchange fer another...." said
the Pirate King with an evil glint in his eye.
"What kind of favour?" said Hilarity. This was quickly turning into one of the
Godfather movies only with Pirates!
"Well, when we needs something done we'll call you." came her reply....
One Week Later
"Wow! Those pirates really did a good job!" said Sarah happily as she and her family
inspected the now spotless Goblin Castle they had returned to. Sadly, the goblins had
also returned to their rightful home and in five seconds flat they had trashed the place
again.
"Yep! It's good to be back." said Jareth "Now I'm just going to go and fix that coral
cave entrance and stop this from happening again. I think I'll change the code to 'If I
were a rich man' from Fiddler on the Roof with a swanee whistle accompaniment."
"You and your weird instruments." Sarah sighed "So how much did all this cost you?"
she asked curiously. Jareth sighed, if there was on thing he couldn't do it was lying to
his wife.
Meanwhile on the planet Zea
Hilarity and Thomas sighed blissfully as they woke up from the best night's sleep
they'd ever had. It had been so hectic that week but now there were no goblin refugee
camps, arguing married couples or manic fae toddlers to stress them out. The fresh
morning light made the one way glass windows shine and the whole city glittered like
diamonds surrounding an amethyst river. The vibrant green of the nearby rainforest
only increased the glare and tiny silver sparks of distant space ships zipped across the
horizon followed by the arrow-like formations of the city's famed blue flamingos who
swirled in a death defying stunt show before settling upon the tepid, purple waters of
the river. Thomas, being from a desert planet, still couldn't believe that much water
existed in one place and who still get pretty excited when it rained. This was why
Hilarity had grown to love thunder storms as their passions nearly always spiralled out
of control in the extreme weather.
"Shhh! Listen!" said Hilarity, feigning fear.
"I don't hear anything! I should know, I've got sonic radar." said Thomas.
"Exactly my point." said Hilarity gleefully and reached for the entertainment section
of the Sunday newspaper. "Oooh look! There's an Andy Warhol exhibition at the
Space-Time Gallery today. Want to go?"
"I can think of better things to do." said Thomas suggestively.
"Honestly Tom! It's only been a week." laughed Hilarity "Anyone would think I
locked you up in a monastery for eight years the way you've been carrying on!" They
kissed passionately.
Back in the Labyrinth
"YOU DID WHAT!!!!!!" shouted Sarah.
"We agreed to do the pirates a favour in return for their services." said Jareth
nervously "It was the only way! They made us an offer we couldn't understand!"
"You're indebted to the Mob!!!"
"Pirates, darling. They're Pirates."
"I don't care what they are! These guys could be dangerous!"
"Relax, Sarah! It can't be that bad. And if it is, I'll just unleash some seriously
dangerous magics on them."
"What kind of favour did they ask of you?"
"They didn't say. They just said they'd let us know if we were needed...."
Back on Zea
"Er...Tom? Have you been eating kippers?" said a confused voice from the tangled
depths of the bedsheets.
"No! Why?" said Tom and poked his head out from under the covers.
"Because someone's put a fish head in our bed!" said Hilarity.
"That's weird! Who could have done that?" they both looked at each other with horror
as it suddenly dawned on them.
"THE PIRATE CALLING CARD!!!"
A/N - OK there wasn't much sexual content in there but it did get your attention. Don't try to deny it! Ha ha!
