Chapter Fifteen - Boris again

And so. Stan set off again, ready to see all the world had to offer. Happy as a lark in
spring. The witch however, was not one to admit defeat and she immediately rushed
off to talk to the town's judge...

"Oh! Hello there, my Lord Judge. I'm a nice old lady, right. And I have a heinous
crime to report."

"Phoar! Christ you smell bad! Are you a witch?!" said the judge suspiciously.

"Oh no! No, no, no! Nothing like that! I just...fell in the canal!" said the witch.
Smooth! "Anyway, I was out walking today, minding my own business when this
horrid young man stole my purse full of gold and threw me in the thorn bush!"

"Ah ha!" said the judge "A 'young' person! Yes, you look at any crime committed
these days and there's usually a young person behind it. Don't worry. We'll soon
apprehend this villain!"

Meanwhile on Penzance
"Um...Jareth? Don't mean to be rude, but isn't it about time you got out one of those
crystal thingies and made with abracadabras?" whispered Hilarity.

"Yargh! I don't recommends it, guys." said the Pirate King threateningly.

"And why not?" said Jareth.

"Well, there wouldn't be much of a story if ye did!" said the ageing rocker "But just in
case you do, I've had me boys take yer family hostage. So no funny business. Arrgh!"

"Damn it!" said the Goblin King.

Hilarity, Thomas and Jareth had no idea what the hell they were getting themselves
into but it wasn't good. They soon found themselves being led outside into the dirty
streets of Penzance by the Pirate King and several of his guards. Suddenly a very
dishevelled and angry little Goblin jumped out at them from a side alley.

"Vherre de HELL didt you guys go?!? You just left me herre vith nothingk! I nearrly
diedt, you utterr plastic wickerrs!" it shouted furiously.

"What is THAT!?!" cried the Pirate King with a mixture of horror and disgust.

"Oh that's just Boris." said Hilarity "Jareth's goblin butler."

"Look at it. It's bloody disgustin'! Arrgh!"

"Speak forr yourrself, vater vankerr!" said Boris indignantly "I happen to be a rright
handt Goblin, andt I'm bloody fumingk!"

"Well, I dunno what a vater vanker is! I don' speak Russian. Actually, I can' speak
English very well eithers, but no one pisses off a Pirate King or there will be 'ell to
pay! Yargh! I'll personally sees to it that ye be decapita'ed an' yer head becomes a
gruesome bauble on me Christmas Tree!"

"You andt vhat arrmy?" sneered the little goblin.

"That one!" said the Pirate King and pointed to a large band of ugly, scarred, viscous
looking pirates behind him. "Get 'im boys!" Boris froze, wide eyed in horror and could
only whisper a small "eep" before he fled away down the narrow street with the
pirates hot on his tail.

"Thank God for that! All those accents were doing my head in!" said Hilarity as they
continued there short journey.