Chapter Seventeen - Ole Sea Dog
Disclaimer - I do not own the Ole Sea Dog he belongs to Ben Elton and is part of the
Blackadder series on the BBC. Thank you.
A/N - OK things are hotting up and very soon the plot will actually go somewhere.
Thanks for reading and please leave a review.
"Behold! The Scrumpy Jack!" said the Pirate King proudly as he indicated the
mangled old ship that lurked at the end of the dock like an mange infested dog.
"The what?" said the others in unison.
"The Scrumpy Jack. That be the name of ye ship."
"Hey! No one said there was going to be sailing!" cried Thomas, eyes wide with panic.
"Hello! We're pirates. What be ye expectin', a nice little treasure hunt in the garden?"
said the Pirate King.
"It's just that I get really bad motion sickness." said Thomas "Don't say I didn't warn
you!"
The Pirate King casually led his three new employees below deck and indicated a
grizzled old man who sat drinking heavily at a low table.
"Now this 'ere be yer cap'n! Argh! We calls 'im the Ole Sea Dog." he explained. "Soon
as ye get the map back ye comes straight to 'im an he'll take you to the island. Got it?"
"Got it." said Hilarity and turned to the drunk pirate in the corner. "Hello Ole Sea
Dog!" she said cheerfully.
"I'm sure we'll be in safe hands." said Jareth, to convince himself more than anyone
else. At his words the Ole Sea Dog jumped up and yanked one of the Goblin King's
gloves off.
"Argh! Ye has a woman's hands. I bet ye never been dragged along yon sea bed by a
piece o' rope to stop ye ship from runnin' agroun' in yon coral reefs." he growled
almost incoherently.
"Uh...! Can't say that I have." said Jareth, visibly freaked out.
"Don't be payin' any attention to 'im. He just 'ad a little too much rum today! Yargh!"
said the Pirate King cheerfully and kicked the Ole Sea Dog on the peg leg causing him
to lose his balance and fall over. "So anyways me hearties! Here be a list of suspects
as to who might've stolen the map. I'll leave ye to it. But if ye should fail...?"
"I know, I know! Imprisonment, torture, death. We get it!" said Hilarity angrily and
snatched the list. How dare this jerk go off and leave them with a madman and a list
of evil foes to battle!
After the King had left, Hilarity, Jareth and Thomas eyed the list he had given them
while their new companion sat back down in the corner and opened another bottle of
rum.
"So who's on the list?" asked Thomas nervously.
"The Sorcerer, the Mikado and a woman of ill repute named Buttercup!" Hilarity read,
eyebrows raised with confusion "It seems, my friends, that we have crossed the
boundary from sanity into the unknown!" there was an eerie pause.
Finally Jareth broke the silence. "Actually, Hils. We've been doing that ever since we
first met!"
"Oh yeah!" replied the alien girl "So we have! Damn it! I'd forget my head if it wasn't
screwed on properly!"
"Argh! Ye have a woman's head! I bet ye never had to nut a giant octopus into
oblivion while simultaneously wrestling sharks with ye bare hands!" yelled the Ole
Sea Dog.
Hilarity eyed the old man for a second then shrugged and turned back to her friends. "I
think we should split up and interrogate these characters individually so we can get
this whole mess over with." And with that, our three heroes dispensed the necessary
addresses and went their separate ways.
Disclaimer - I do not own the Ole Sea Dog he belongs to Ben Elton and is part of the
Blackadder series on the BBC. Thank you.
A/N - OK things are hotting up and very soon the plot will actually go somewhere.
Thanks for reading and please leave a review.
"Behold! The Scrumpy Jack!" said the Pirate King proudly as he indicated the
mangled old ship that lurked at the end of the dock like an mange infested dog.
"The what?" said the others in unison.
"The Scrumpy Jack. That be the name of ye ship."
"Hey! No one said there was going to be sailing!" cried Thomas, eyes wide with panic.
"Hello! We're pirates. What be ye expectin', a nice little treasure hunt in the garden?"
said the Pirate King.
"It's just that I get really bad motion sickness." said Thomas "Don't say I didn't warn
you!"
The Pirate King casually led his three new employees below deck and indicated a
grizzled old man who sat drinking heavily at a low table.
"Now this 'ere be yer cap'n! Argh! We calls 'im the Ole Sea Dog." he explained. "Soon
as ye get the map back ye comes straight to 'im an he'll take you to the island. Got it?"
"Got it." said Hilarity and turned to the drunk pirate in the corner. "Hello Ole Sea
Dog!" she said cheerfully.
"I'm sure we'll be in safe hands." said Jareth, to convince himself more than anyone
else. At his words the Ole Sea Dog jumped up and yanked one of the Goblin King's
gloves off.
"Argh! Ye has a woman's hands. I bet ye never been dragged along yon sea bed by a
piece o' rope to stop ye ship from runnin' agroun' in yon coral reefs." he growled
almost incoherently.
"Uh...! Can't say that I have." said Jareth, visibly freaked out.
"Don't be payin' any attention to 'im. He just 'ad a little too much rum today! Yargh!"
said the Pirate King cheerfully and kicked the Ole Sea Dog on the peg leg causing him
to lose his balance and fall over. "So anyways me hearties! Here be a list of suspects
as to who might've stolen the map. I'll leave ye to it. But if ye should fail...?"
"I know, I know! Imprisonment, torture, death. We get it!" said Hilarity angrily and
snatched the list. How dare this jerk go off and leave them with a madman and a list
of evil foes to battle!
After the King had left, Hilarity, Jareth and Thomas eyed the list he had given them
while their new companion sat back down in the corner and opened another bottle of
rum.
"So who's on the list?" asked Thomas nervously.
"The Sorcerer, the Mikado and a woman of ill repute named Buttercup!" Hilarity read,
eyebrows raised with confusion "It seems, my friends, that we have crossed the
boundary from sanity into the unknown!" there was an eerie pause.
Finally Jareth broke the silence. "Actually, Hils. We've been doing that ever since we
first met!"
"Oh yeah!" replied the alien girl "So we have! Damn it! I'd forget my head if it wasn't
screwed on properly!"
"Argh! Ye have a woman's head! I bet ye never had to nut a giant octopus into
oblivion while simultaneously wrestling sharks with ye bare hands!" yelled the Ole
Sea Dog.
Hilarity eyed the old man for a second then shrugged and turned back to her friends. "I
think we should split up and interrogate these characters individually so we can get
this whole mess over with." And with that, our three heroes dispensed the necessary
addresses and went their separate ways.
