Chapter Eighteen - First Night Out
A/N - This is a little idea I came up with concerning Hilarity and Jareth's early
friendship. It's based mainly on an episode of Spaced.
Jareth, Hilarity and Thomas left the bowels of the dirty little ship and split up, The
Goblin King to the red light district and the two aliens towards the back lanes as both
their suspects lived quite near one another.
"Good luck!" shouted Hilarity over her shoulder to her old friend "And behave
yourself! There'll be a lot of young ladies after your cash, among other things..."
"I can control my urges, Hilarity! I'm not a mountain lion!" Jareth protested angrily.
"That's not what Sarah told me!" said the alien girl cheekily then grabbed Thomas by
the hand and rushed off before the Goblin King could catch them.
After they turned a corner or two the couple began chatting and started to enjoy this
pleasant romp through the ancient city. Soon they were reliving old memories and
Hilarity began enthusiastically recounting the time when she and Jareth went to Tokyo
and faked a Godzilla attack.
"Hils, I've already heard this story!" Thomas protested.
"Really? Oh well! Is there one you haven't heard?"
"You've never told me about the first time you met outside the Labyrinth." said
Thomas eagerly.
"That's a bit of an embarrassing story, Tom!" said Hilarity uneasily. Thomas gave her
a soulful puppy-dog expression and she finally gave in. "OK! I'll tell you. But only if
you promise to tell me about that affair you had when you lived on Earth."
!!!Flashback to a long long time ago!!!
Friday Night 7:00pm
Hilarity stirred the dark swirling contents of the saucepan. She was in the old
apartment she used to rent during her college years. Trin was staying over that night
and the stew she was making was supposed to keep them both nourished until he went
home on Sunday. Just then, said cousin sauntered into the kitchen.
"Right! How sexy am I?" he said.
"Very." said Hilarity "The key thing is to not look like you've made much of an
effort."
"I'll change my shirt." said Trin after a long pause.
"Where are you off to?" said Hilarity quizzically.
"Got a hot date with Asha." said Trin and grinned.
"Hmmm! Nice." said his cousin sceptically. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." she put
the stew on to simmer and went to change into her smart casual gear.
"So what are you doing tonight?" asked Trin from the living room.
"Well Jareth's coming over and I thought I show him the best of the Zean night life."
came his reply.
"That creep who kidnapped you!"
"The very same."
"Why!?!"
"Because he's probably very lonely and could do with a few friends." said Hilarity
sternly and emerged from her room wearing her best red blouse and some dark jeans.
"Whatever!" said Trin.
7:30pm
"So what do you want to do?" asked Hilarity as she and her new, slightly sinister
companion walked down the street outside her block of flats.
"Minicab?" said a little green alien taxi driver on the curb.
"No thanks." said Hilarity.
Jareth thought about the question for a minute then finally said "I think we could: go
and see an experimental show by a hip young playwright (preferably with an obscene
word in the title) then go to a progressive jazz club where we can discuss the play at
length and have long conversations about the meaning of life while listening to an
unusual array of stylophone music."
"And I think I want to go home!" groaned Hilarity.
"Well! Do you have any better ideas?" said the Goblin King haughtily.
"Yeah actually. What we do is: take a train to the other side of town and find the
cheapest underground indie bar, we smoke a fatty boom batty on the way so we're
already nicely toasted before we order our first drink, hopefully we'll end up laughing
like a couple of prats and talking utter gibberish, at which point we move on to the
nearest pub with a cracking jukebox and continue drinking copiously until we a) fall
over, b)puke or c)fall over and puke." she looked up triumphantly.
"I like my idea better." said Jareth sulkily.
"OK then we'll toss coins for it." said Hilarity.
8:00pm - Round One
The next time the coin was taken out, it was in the cheapest underground indie bar on
the other side of town.
"Right, we'll have two pints of cider." said Hilarity grinning crookedly at the barman.
"And some crisps." said Jareth sleepily.
"Yeah two packets of crisps."
"And nuts!"
"Yes. And nuts!"
"Honey roasted!"
"Hey! I'm ordering here!" cried Hilarity "I've forgotten what I was going to say now!
Oh sod it! Two tequila slammers!"
"YES!!!"
8:30pm - Round Two
Hilarity and Jareth sat at their table laughing like a couple of prats.
9:00pm - Round Four
Hilarity was frantically nodding while Jareth said
"It'supsanddownsit'supsanddownsit'supsanddownwellnotliterallyupsanddownsIjustmeant
itinthemetaphoricalsenseit'supsanddownsit'supsaddowns!!!"
10:00pm - Round Eight
"What did you want to be when you were a kid?" slurred Jareth.
"Me? I wanted to be Monkey!" said Hilarity.
"What? A monkey?"
"NO! Monkey as in the Japanese TV show. As in "Oh no! Tripitaka I've got a
headache!" Monkey." said Hilarity as if it was the most obvious thing in the world
"How about you?"
"I wanted to be Little Richard." said Jareth.
Hilarity burst out laughing at this point and hit her head on the table while feeling an
overwhelming urge to eat tonnes and tonnes of potato salad.
!!!End of Flashback!!!
"And that's all I remember!" explained Hilarity "The next thing I know, I've woken up
in a prison cell cuddling an inflatable Michelin Man in women's clothes."
"Wow!" said Thomas "That's one hell of a story!"
By now they had reached the Sorcerer's shop so the two lovers kissed each other
goodbye and Thomas carried on a little further to the home of the Mikado...
A/N - This is a little idea I came up with concerning Hilarity and Jareth's early
friendship. It's based mainly on an episode of Spaced.
Jareth, Hilarity and Thomas left the bowels of the dirty little ship and split up, The
Goblin King to the red light district and the two aliens towards the back lanes as both
their suspects lived quite near one another.
"Good luck!" shouted Hilarity over her shoulder to her old friend "And behave
yourself! There'll be a lot of young ladies after your cash, among other things..."
"I can control my urges, Hilarity! I'm not a mountain lion!" Jareth protested angrily.
"That's not what Sarah told me!" said the alien girl cheekily then grabbed Thomas by
the hand and rushed off before the Goblin King could catch them.
After they turned a corner or two the couple began chatting and started to enjoy this
pleasant romp through the ancient city. Soon they were reliving old memories and
Hilarity began enthusiastically recounting the time when she and Jareth went to Tokyo
and faked a Godzilla attack.
"Hils, I've already heard this story!" Thomas protested.
"Really? Oh well! Is there one you haven't heard?"
"You've never told me about the first time you met outside the Labyrinth." said
Thomas eagerly.
"That's a bit of an embarrassing story, Tom!" said Hilarity uneasily. Thomas gave her
a soulful puppy-dog expression and she finally gave in. "OK! I'll tell you. But only if
you promise to tell me about that affair you had when you lived on Earth."
!!!Flashback to a long long time ago!!!
Friday Night 7:00pm
Hilarity stirred the dark swirling contents of the saucepan. She was in the old
apartment she used to rent during her college years. Trin was staying over that night
and the stew she was making was supposed to keep them both nourished until he went
home on Sunday. Just then, said cousin sauntered into the kitchen.
"Right! How sexy am I?" he said.
"Very." said Hilarity "The key thing is to not look like you've made much of an
effort."
"I'll change my shirt." said Trin after a long pause.
"Where are you off to?" said Hilarity quizzically.
"Got a hot date with Asha." said Trin and grinned.
"Hmmm! Nice." said his cousin sceptically. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." she put
the stew on to simmer and went to change into her smart casual gear.
"So what are you doing tonight?" asked Trin from the living room.
"Well Jareth's coming over and I thought I show him the best of the Zean night life."
came his reply.
"That creep who kidnapped you!"
"The very same."
"Why!?!"
"Because he's probably very lonely and could do with a few friends." said Hilarity
sternly and emerged from her room wearing her best red blouse and some dark jeans.
"Whatever!" said Trin.
7:30pm
"So what do you want to do?" asked Hilarity as she and her new, slightly sinister
companion walked down the street outside her block of flats.
"Minicab?" said a little green alien taxi driver on the curb.
"No thanks." said Hilarity.
Jareth thought about the question for a minute then finally said "I think we could: go
and see an experimental show by a hip young playwright (preferably with an obscene
word in the title) then go to a progressive jazz club where we can discuss the play at
length and have long conversations about the meaning of life while listening to an
unusual array of stylophone music."
"And I think I want to go home!" groaned Hilarity.
"Well! Do you have any better ideas?" said the Goblin King haughtily.
"Yeah actually. What we do is: take a train to the other side of town and find the
cheapest underground indie bar, we smoke a fatty boom batty on the way so we're
already nicely toasted before we order our first drink, hopefully we'll end up laughing
like a couple of prats and talking utter gibberish, at which point we move on to the
nearest pub with a cracking jukebox and continue drinking copiously until we a) fall
over, b)puke or c)fall over and puke." she looked up triumphantly.
"I like my idea better." said Jareth sulkily.
"OK then we'll toss coins for it." said Hilarity.
8:00pm - Round One
The next time the coin was taken out, it was in the cheapest underground indie bar on
the other side of town.
"Right, we'll have two pints of cider." said Hilarity grinning crookedly at the barman.
"And some crisps." said Jareth sleepily.
"Yeah two packets of crisps."
"And nuts!"
"Yes. And nuts!"
"Honey roasted!"
"Hey! I'm ordering here!" cried Hilarity "I've forgotten what I was going to say now!
Oh sod it! Two tequila slammers!"
"YES!!!"
8:30pm - Round Two
Hilarity and Jareth sat at their table laughing like a couple of prats.
9:00pm - Round Four
Hilarity was frantically nodding while Jareth said
"It'supsanddownsit'supsanddownsit'supsanddownwellnotliterallyupsanddownsIjustmeant
itinthemetaphoricalsenseit'supsanddownsit'supsaddowns!!!"
10:00pm - Round Eight
"What did you want to be when you were a kid?" slurred Jareth.
"Me? I wanted to be Monkey!" said Hilarity.
"What? A monkey?"
"NO! Monkey as in the Japanese TV show. As in "Oh no! Tripitaka I've got a
headache!" Monkey." said Hilarity as if it was the most obvious thing in the world
"How about you?"
"I wanted to be Little Richard." said Jareth.
Hilarity burst out laughing at this point and hit her head on the table while feeling an
overwhelming urge to eat tonnes and tonnes of potato salad.
!!!End of Flashback!!!
"And that's all I remember!" explained Hilarity "The next thing I know, I've woken up
in a prison cell cuddling an inflatable Michelin Man in women's clothes."
"Wow!" said Thomas "That's one hell of a story!"
By now they had reached the Sorcerer's shop so the two lovers kissed each other
goodbye and Thomas carried on a little further to the home of the Mikado...
