Well, I seem to be on a bit of a second-chapter streak. So I thought, why not? -rolls eyes- Even though it's not actually a chapter. it's an interlude- which, in this story, is sonething not exactly essential to the plot but it goes along with the story and it was fun to write, and most of these interludes will probably be blasts into the deep depths of Sesshoumaru's memories. So... nya.

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Love.

It was a disgusting thing, really. An emotion, a weakness, a powerless point in life.

He cursed himself for being such an imbecile. A complete, foolish, idiotic imbecile.

Love.

A disgusting thing. Love was a pit of blackened, foul matter; a swamp, a trap of filthy, slimy, human emotions that snagged mortals by the heels and dragged them unmercifully into its murky depths and never let go. A pit that he, imbecile that he was, had walked past unknowingly and had been dragged into himself.

Love.

'Why me?' he asked those of power above, slamming his head repeatedly against the wall, causing himself a pain in is forehead that came nowhere near to the pain in his heart.

How had he allowed himself to be grabbed by the unclean trap that was love? Wasn't he always told to watch his feet when he didn't know the way?

And how, in everything that he knew, everything he had convinced himself to believe, did he manage to fall into love's depths side-by-side... with a human?

He stopped his head-banging in mid-slam, resting his aching forehead against the cool stone wall. Humans disgusted him, made him sick, and here he was, causing himself brain damage because he had fallen in love with one.

Ten years.

He would have thought ten years would have changed her, but he was mistaken. The bubbly, smiling girl he had found, he had saved—God knows why—ten years ago had not changed except on the outside. And maybe in that the love she had held for him then was a bit different than the love she held for him now.

He bit his lip, wincing. Why did he fall in love with her? He was hurting her every day, the way he was to her. Hurting himself, just like now.

Maybe it ran in his family.

Maybe it was predestined. His father had fallen for one, as well. And the mangy, flea-bitten brother that human had given life to had done it as well, though she.. she was different. And she was gone, for good. They'd never see her again, but the hanyou continued to pine for her, to wait for her. He would wait a thousand years if he had to, and meet with her again in death at his last resort.

Oh, you would have thought by now that they would learn their lessons—but as the saying goes, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

He was beginning to be disgusted with himself.

She had even kissed him—put her repulsive human lips on him—and he had let her. He had let her.

She was a human. A human child.

His heart—yes, he had one, blackened and cold as it was—it hurt too much for this to be real.

"I'm too old for this..." he mumbled wearily to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Too old for what?"

He stopped moving altogether and stood silent, listening to the steady beat of his heart. At least it still worked. He was afraid it had stopped altogether, the pain was so enormous. But maybe, if he didn't move, didn't breathe... the pain would stop.

"...Sesshoumaru-sama...?"

He had to breathe. Not breathing made it worse.

But still he didn't dare to answer her.

"...All right... dinner is ready when you are, my lord." She turned and slid his door closed behind her quietly.

He sighed and hit his forehead against the cold stone one more time, then gritted his fangs. "Too old to love you.."

He pulled away from the wall and left the room briskly, putting on his usual attitude of indifference.

"Damn you humans," he muttered under his breath.