1"Numb"
By Diane Kelley
Note:This is meant to be a companion piece to my fic "On Wings of Eagles" I got attacked by a plot bunny while listening to this song.
I kind of wondered how my fan created character that is featured in that fic felt about her father. I started listening to this song, and Damned if I didn't get bitten by the bug. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Optimus Prime, nor do I own the song Numb. Hasbro and Linkin park respectively do.
#I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)#
Fastblade sat in her room, feeling the stinging reprimand still, even though it had several hours since
Prime had called her into his office to speak with her. He had reminded her once again of who she was. . .despite that she didn't wish to be reminded.
I NEVER ASKED TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BROUGHT HERE, EITHER. AND YET BECAUSE I GREW UP
TO BE THE DECENT ONE YOU WANTED ME TO BE I GET REPRIMANDED. WOULD YOU HAVE HAD ME LEAVE STARSCREAM TO DIE? HUH, "FATHER"?
#I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you#
She shook her head. She had never wanted to be next in line for leadership, either. She simply wanted to be herself. . .to be free to be who she wanted to be,
to love whom she wanted to love, and to do with her life what she she wished to.
#Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control#
HE ALWAYS DID HAVE THIS INCESENT NEED TO HAVE THINGS THE WAY HE WANTED. AND PRIMUS SLAG IT, I AM TIRED OF IT,
TIRED OF THE FIGHTING, TIRED OF HIM TELLING ME I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
#Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you#
"I'm sorry I can't be the perfect leader you wanted. I'm not mother, and I'm not you." The words were whispered into the stillness of her room.
#(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take#
She couldn't stand another second, she had to tell him.
#I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you#
Her strides took her down the hallway, into his office. "Prime, I need to talk to you. May I have a moment?"
Prime turned around, his faceplate of course kept his expression impassive, but he nodded. "Certainly, Fastblade, sit down." He motioned towards the chair on the other side of his desk.
#And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you#
"I wanted to tell you something that may upset you, but it has to be said, and please do not feel as if I mean you any disrespect by saying this. . .but I will not be next in line to
be the Matrix-bearer. As a matter of fact, as soon as Starscream's situation is settled in one way or another, I plan on returning to Cybertron. I never asked to be leader. I don't want it, either."
#I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you#
Prime simply nodded, his optics showed disappointment, but understanding.
#I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be#
"And one more thing, in case you wondered why I said what I have here tonight. It's because I'm tired of being forever in your shadow. I
want to be Fastblade, Autobot scout, not 'Prime's daughter'."
With that she strode out the door and back to her quarters, shutting the door behind her and settling peacefully into recharge.
