Chapter 2, the tramped up cardboard box.

"Where HAVE you been? Beds empty, no note CAR GONE! You could have died! You could have been seen!" The ginger lady shouts at Ronald.

Then they eat breakfast and Ginny comes down and faints at the sight of Harry then when she regains conciseness she throws herself at him but accidentally land on the cat and chucks up all over her freshly washed jumper (Harry didn't realize Ron could afford water). Then the owl arrives and bashes into the window and its brain splats everywhere.

"Fetch it for me will you Percy?" and this fuzzle head gets up and holds up 6 letters from Hogwarts. So they go to Diagon alley using floo powder. You chuck it down the toilet to get to the destination. But because Harry is dumb and allergic to powder he sneezes and he emerges covered in bog water at Cho Chang's bathroom Harry realized his glasses where gone but he didn't care because of the massive big head he had where he was so much better than Ron that he could buy a new pair with the gazillions of Knuts he had unlike Ron who was tempted to kiss pansy Parkinson for 1 sickle, so they go Diagon alley together and Harry's glasses end up coming out of the butterbeer barrel (because they fell of then went into the sewers)then they go to flourish and blotts and Gilderoy Lockhart practically worships Harry and begs to sign his handkerchief, then because his head is even bigger than Harry's he starts telling Harry he should use more moisturiser because his T-Zone is v dry. Draco Malfoy is so rich that he comes down the stairs and has to rip the page out of a book for no reason. Then he and Harry have a fight

"You know I'd have you on the ground in seconds," Draco growled out in what he thought was a menacing voice.

"Always knew you were a nasty pervert," Ron said before nodding his head at Harry.

Harry is so vicious to poor Draco that his eyeballs "fall" out and Mr Borgin puts Malfoy's remaining eyeballs in a glass case and sells them in his dodgy shop. Harry notices that Lucius puts a fluffy pink forever friends diary in Ginny's Gucci handbag that she jacked from the back of a truck but doesn't bother to tell anyone because then there would be no story and because he wanted to save the day again so his head could grow just a little bit bigger and to prove that Ginny Weasley adored him and kisses his broomstick. Malfoy calls Ginny Weasley a ginger scavenger and Fred Weasley calls malfoy a fairy princess with long blond hair and Ron grabs a scissors and cuts all lucius' hair off.

Heya hope u liked it plz r and r more soon. Not 2 random I hope :S