Chapter Twenty Four - Never leave a man behind.

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A/N - Don't ask. This is basically a filler chapter. I will explain later.

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Disclaimer - Don't own it. Oh, and I stole a gag from Black Books. Again don't own it.

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The two aliens walked aimlessly around the island for two hours and to their bitter disappointment they found that Boris the Goblin was still alive and sitting on a rock on the beach. They continued to walk hoping that he hadn't seen them but fortune was not on their side that day... (Well of course it wasn't. Their ship sank and their captain struck by lightening. If you ask my opinion they were probably the butt of one of fortunes very cruel jokes.)

"Hey! You guys!" shouted the little Goblin happily. "It is I, Boris."

"Er... Yeah. Hi." said Hilarity. "Er... listen, have you seen Jareth anywhere. It's just kind of vital that we fine him if we're going to get off this island."

"Ahh!" said Boris enthusiastically but then his eyes fell "Nyet."

"Bugger!" said Hilarity and kept on walking even though her side was getting seriously painful now. "We may as well carry on then."

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Jareth woke up feeling incredibly dehydrated but otherwise fine. His magic had obviously kicked in as soon as he reached dry land and had repaired most of the damage from the shipwreck. He looked around but there was no sign of the others anywhere and being the natural pessimist that he was he assumed they had all drowned. It was a shame. He would miss them. Well...not Boris obviously, he was a pain in the arse.
And not Thomas because he secretly weirded him out and, truth be told, Jareth had good reason to suspect that he wore a wig.

But he would definitely miss Hilarity. She was his best friend...well, only friend. Eight years previously she had crash landed into his life, literally. The she had somehow managed to get him drunk, gradually work him out of all his psychological crap and shove him back into the outside world.

To tell the truth, seeing as no one was around, he had been bloody terrified when they used to meet up on her home planet. Everything was new and unfamiliar to him.
Especially when he got mugged by a bunch of scary looking aliens who were miraculously magic resistant. Yet another reason why he owed Hilarity so much...

!!!Flashback!!!

The gang of sinister green, skinhead creatures closed in angrily when they discovered that the Goblin King had nothing valuable on him and were even more enraged when he pulled out a weird crystal orb thingy and threw it at them. The glowing spheres just bounced of them and shattered on the ground.

"Look couldn't I just send you a check in the morning!" he stuttered nervously. He tried to transport himself somewhere but sadly realised that that wasn't working either.

"I don' think so!" growled one of the muggers.

Hilarity, who all this time had been buying some kebabs at a nearby kiosk, quickly looked round and understood exactly what was going on. Those creatures were Mizarese immigrants and had an exceptional ability to scramble all kinds of energy and radiation. Logically this must include magic as well, even if she wasn't sure about what magic actually was. That could only mean...that Jareth was toast if she didn't do something quick!

The tall blue haired girl sauntered up to the attackers and tapped one of them on the shoulder as they were about to punch. He turned around angrily but she grinned back at him sweetly, but mentally screaming at herself to leave that crazy-haired weirdo and run.

"Which one of you bitches wants to dance?" she said happily. The rest of the group turned around. Hilarity continued "Look, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? When you're having, y'know, a usual threesome in the evening and the moonlight's reflecting of your bald heads and your arses, does it get a tad confusing?"
Damn it the were turning a bit menacing but she still continued. "Hey, I've just thought of a great impression of you!" she danced around in an elaborate ballet style singing "Tra la la la la!" Then quickly broke into a run as the gang made a dash for her, fists at he ready...

!!!End Flashback!!!

Yep, by distracting the muggers, Hilarity had let him retrieve his powers and transport them to safety. Jareth sighed to himself. She was one crazy nutjob though.

It was then that he noticed that he was lying on some sort of artificial decking which led from the sea up to a rather nice house beyond a group of palm trees.... Wherever he was, he was not alone.

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"Hils, we've been walking for hours. And you really need to take it easy with that rib."
said Thomas worriedly.

"Da! Let's face it. There is no chance of findink him." said Boris.

"No." cried Hilarity. "We have to keep trying. I used to belong to the Space Cadets and they taught me to never leave a man behind!"

"But, Jareth's a Goblin King." said Thomas.

"Or a Goblin King."

"And you were thrown out of the Space Cadets because of your problems with authority." Thomas continued, not noticing that his girlfriends attention was elsewhere.

Hilarity was staring at what could only be described as a summer mansion that was facing the beach. Something you were likely to find in Barbados. The lights were on and the group quickly approached it with the hope of getting some help and a good stiff drink.

And so she received the shock of her life when a slightly refreshed looking Goblin King opened the door...