Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda. We don't own LOTR either. If we did, why would we be here?
Chapter 7, Dobby the Bungalow elf strikes again
At the hosptital wing
"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and if by my life or death I can protect you, I-"
"Um, Aragorn, son of Arathorn?"
"Yes, Frodo?"
"I is not Frodo, sir, I is Dobby the bungalow Elf. Dobby is thinking you is in the wrong book, sir."
"Damn it. All you midgets look alike."
"Dobby is sorry, sir."
"No, no. My apologies. I better get back to Middle Earth before someone gets the Ring...is that Legolas???"
A handsome Elven archer runs by, screaming. Every female at Hogwarts was chasing after him, including Professor McGonagall. They all wanted him to sign their underwear (tartan in Mc Gonagall's case).
Aragorn sighs. "This always happens. I swear, I can't take that guy anywhere."
"And I swear your'e that skanky bald dude from lord of the rings! Infact, isn't it funny how everything in this damn Harry Potter shit is so similar to Lord of the rings? Like that bungalow fingy, yea you (points at dobby) and whats up with that name J K rowling? Has any one ever noticed how random that name is but it sounds so like the greatest author of Lord of the Rings JR toilken? And the movies...ugh! O well at least the actors of Harry Potter are BUFF!" moaned Harry but Dobby was very offended at being compared to Gollum that he drowned himself in the lake. Ha ha.
back to general Hogwarts
So now draco malfoy is eyeless, hairless, ballless and teethless (no snogging for him then) and Tiny Ron, Harry and bushelhead are sitting bye the fire playing exploding snap. Harry, as usual was having a hissy fit as he was the only one without a nickname. "Hmph! Im the only one without a nickname" he exclaimed
"A nickname, A descriptive name added to or replacing the actual name of a person, place, or thing. A familiar or shortened form of a proper name." Hermione chimes as she recited from the hogsfoot dictionary.
"wtf!?" exclaimes tiny Ron, "you have more nicknames than snoop dogg has diamonds"
"oh yeah, like what?" whined Harry
"boywholived, james' son, lily's eyeballs, tiny ron's sidekick"
"Hey, " said Harry crossly, "arent you MY sidekick?"
"Yeah" says tiny Ron, " but this is a fanfic. Were allowed to be ridiculous"
"You cant afford to be ridiculous," retorts Hermione.
"yeah, well erm.....yeah!!"
"oooh that served you Bushelhead!"
"come on Harry back to the story"
"oh yeah, well as I was saying, I want a new name, something cool and trendy, something that will make all the girls swoon when they hear it some thing like..........."
"Oh well look who it is, weasleby, fuzzlebutt and the boy who won't die!" malfoy came bursting into the common room.
"Hey your not in gryfindor, do one!"
"ok," cried the eyeless, hairless, ballless didn't want to be teethless malfoy
"HEAVEY! I got a new nickname!! Everyone, from now on call me "the boy who won't die"
Suddenly realizing that they had a script to stick to, the three crustkateers got back to the plot, "enimies of the ghetto beware?" whimpered tiny Ron who as usual was scared out of his orange hair he was so terrified his frekles went white. "I wonder who the ghetto could be......."
and lil romeo hopped up and said, " hey white boy! get yo punk white ass back in yo subarbs" then he left.
A/N: Keep those reviews coming in! Hope the LOTR fans liked the cameo by Aragorn. Oh and we didn't mean to offend anyone, if we did, we're sorry, because we actually like LOTR ourselves :)
