Disclaimer: We own Harry Potter. We own the Olsen twins. We own Lil Romeo and Justin Timberlake and Blue.
And did I mention that today is opposite day?
Chapter 8. The Doodling Club
"I wonder who this ghetto can be.............." wondered Hermione
"duh like its like sooo totally lil romeo, like how over ghetto lame can you like get?" squealed Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in sync who also popped out of the floor and talked in their annoyingly preppy American cheese voice. Hermione gags and binds the Olsen twins and sends them on a one way trip to timbuktu for insulting the blingy-ness of lil romeo, while Kreacher the bungalow elf hisses, "unnatural little freaks they are," and this time, we are inclined to agree
LATER THAT DAY: the three crustcateers where sitting randomly in the library cos Hermione elle adore le bibliotheque and Harry and Ron where dragged there bye the 790 volt magnet inside hermiones fuzzle hair. Hermione is randomly flicking through random books in the dusty crusty old library looking for a spell to frame lil Romeo, aka lil blingio. Then she finds one "ahah! Iv'e found one" then a cool lightbulb comes above her head and Harry flinched but as Ron was so used to bling it was natural to him. "it's going to be very very hard and take a month"
"but bushelhead, in a month all the neeky people will have copped it!"
"well soooooorie dude......"
"huh hum"
"sorry, boywhowontdie, but it's the only plan weve got!"
"fine whatever im outti fuzzlebutt" retorts Harry in a ½ rudie ½ ghetto phrase. Suddenly they spot a huge sign on the notice board that reads DOODLING CLUB, for defense using a pen and a pencil against Lord Voldything. "Yay" says hermione, "I can get extra credit, suck up to teachers and oogle lockhart at the same time! LETS SIGN UP, FELLOW BUCCANEERS!"
The first doodling club meeting took place the next day. Lockhart and Snape armed everyone with magic pencils so that everything they drew would come to life. Although the buccaneers stood closely together Snape (who hadn't taken Lockhart's advice on hair care) split them up, putting Harry with Malfoy.
Harry unfortunately was a crap artist so the lion he draw to hack out what was left of Malfoy's guts didn't look so much like a lion as a miserable sheep. Malfoy on the other hand, drew an excellent attacker.
A parcel. With fangs on.
It jumped out of Malfoy's picture, devoured Harry's sheeplion and started heading for Justin Timberlake. "Oi!" said Harry with his usual randomness, "Leave Justin Timberlake alone! I can't think of a valid reason why, but being the noble person i am, well, I'll try to save his buttocks, since he's so fond of Kylie's."
The parcel backed down and turned back into the package of paper and string it was meant to be.
"OH NO! HARRY IS A PARCELTAPE!"
"dun dun duuuuuuuuun........................."
(audience gasps)
"I am what!?!?!" cried Harry, "yknow, exept for brilliant, radiant, alive, a human, the greatest wizard of all time, the most popular guy in the school, best in the school at quidditch, cleverest, buffest, sexiest, altogether best in b........"
"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU IDIOT! YOU ARE A PARCELTAPE!"
"ooooooooh!! That explaines it! NOT!"
"oh my god," says hermione the-super-neek, " you can control the nucleus of parcels and even make them eat things, that's the symbol of the slytherins! thats why their symbol is a snake wrapped round a parcel! they use their wit and cunning to get around the post office people! And the people at customs!"
"oh, well that's heavey man that's all graaaavey we are lovin Mr Timbo un-dead" So Harry, as he adored himself over much and if it wherent for Cho Chang he would have dated himself, didn't realize what this could start and being thiker than Ron, didn't realize that even if he did have any friends, he wouldn't no more.
"so, now we know about Slytherins, what about Ravenclaw, why the hell are they blue and not..........lilac?" Tiny Ron was being an idiot and suddenly Lee (bed-wetter), Duncan (perv), Simon (fish lips) and Anthony (shovel face) pop out of openings in the floor and start singing to the tune of Bubblin'.
"I
think you're bout it bout it
No man could ever doubt it
You're
looking so delicious
Could this be the night that we uuuh.."
to which Harry says "Thank you, all my adoring fans," and Lockhart and Malfoy say exactly the same thing at the same time. And Duncan replies, "Doood, we are NOT singing bout you! We be talkin bout the hot chick at the door." And everyone turns round to see who the hot chick at the door is.......
.......and find themselves staring at Mc Gonagall. Pervy Duncan leaps off the stage and tries to suck Mc Gonagall's mouth out of her face, then she transfigures into a cat, and D finds himself licking hairballs. "Enough! Enough! I certainly won't 'uuuh' with you tonight! Get out of the castle....you....you MUGGLES!" "Geez, we aren't muggles," says Lee looking extremely offended. "If we weren't wizards, how could we have persuaded millions of people to listen to our rubbish without throwing us off the airwaves with flaming torches?"
As Blue were retarded and crap and ugly and poofy no one cared when they flew away in a poof of pink smoke.
A/N : How ironic..Blue being blue and vanishing in a puff of pink smoke. Aw well...keep on reading for more celeb poking!
