Chapter Thirty - The end! No, really! I'm serious! It's over! Finito!! Kaput!!! Get out of my pub!!!!

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A/N - You read the chapter title! I am thoroughly sick of this horrible mess so I decided to stop the madness! So, goodbye folks, it's been a blast.

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"OK! We got the treasure!" said Hilarity as she, Jareth and Thomas lugged the giant,
ornate chest into the Pirate King's office with Boris on top of it as if it were a stretcher. "Can we go now!"

"Arrgh!" said the Pirate King, unlocking the complicated looking padlocks and knocking the little Goblin off the top "It be treasure indeed!" he whispered with awe as he opened the lid. "Pornography! Firecrackers! And BISCUITS!!! RESULT!"

"WHAT!!!" shouted the group in unison (well, except for Boris who shouted "VHAT!!!").

"Pornography!?!" cried Jareth.

"Firecrackers!?!" Hilarity added.

"And Biscuits!?!" yelled Thomas.

"Oh my!" said Boris weakly.

"Yargh! Good work, me hearties! And as per our agreement, Jareth, I've decided to let your family go free." said the Pirate King happily.

"How thoughtful of you!" said Jareth sarcastically, but quickly smiled with relief when Sarah and Caradoc entered the room unharmed. "Darling! You're all right!" he said happily but his wife quickly slapped him in the face.

"How dare you let me get taken hostage and leave my in the lurch for four months!!"
she shouted.

"But Sarah! I had to do it!"

"WHY?"

"I don't remember but it was very important at the time!"

"It doesn't matter anyway. The Pirate King and I sold your adventure to channel four and it became the most popular reality TV show since Big Brother 5! But that doesn't even come close to making it! When we get back to the castle, you and I are going to have a long boring talk about our relationship!!!" Sarah shouted angrily and stormed out dragging Caradoc behind her by the wrist.

"Oh Damn it!!" cried Jareth and followed her.

"Good luck, mate!" Hilarity called after him.

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A few days later...

Hilarity was slightly shocked when she saw herself on TV for the first time. It was nice have people say hi to her in the street but she couldn't help being a little disturbed when she saw hoe large her head looked on TV. She really did look like a lamppost.
Thomas was seriously embarrassed about being shown on universal television without his human disguise and quickly went back to wearing his contact lenses and wig even if Hilarity still insisted that there was nothing wrong with him and she still found him extremely sexy.

Trin had not hesitated to flaunt his famous cousin and his famous cousin's famous boyfriend. Meanwhile, Hilarity's parents had become much more accepting towards Thomas once they saw that he was not as freaky and useless as they first thought.
Hilarity was still angry at them but at least they were still making progress.

That Friday night, Jareth turned up alone and everyone was feeling much more depressed than usual.

"How's Boris?" asked Thomas.

"Still recovering." The Goblin King mumbled.

"Is Sarah still not speaking to you?" asked Hilarity.

"Well, we're having a hard time, but we're working things out." Jareth replied.

"I feel somewhat responsible." the alien girl said "After all this was all my idea."

"Don't worry about it. I didn't have to go messing around with Pirates. It was my decision. I just can't believe we had so much bad luck."

"It wasn't all that bad, Jareth." said Hilarity brightly "I mean we got to hang out in some seedy bars, red light districts. We went to jail, we went sailing, we got to see a man get struck by lightening...and we got absolutely bladdered in a luxury holiday home. It was just a bit unfortunate."

"Well, on my planet, there's a theory that everything that happens is connected in some way and triggers off a whole series of events that you can't undo." said Thomas mysteriously.

"Chaos theory!" Gasped Jareth.

"So we're caught up in the avalanche of life." said Hilarity.

"Yes. And it's all part of the universal equation that is so complex that it's impossible for us to understand it in its entirety." said Thomas.

There was an awed silence.

"Oh my God!" Jareth whispered.

"What?" said the other two.

"I just remembered, I've got some jaffa cakes in my cloak pocket that I stole from the treasure chest!"

"YAY!!" cried the others.

And so the trio relaxed and ate jaffa cakes all night long and tried not to worry about their misfortunes because it would all turn out all right in the end...

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The End