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Chapter 11. Harry Potter's increasingly growing, abnormally larger than Snape's nose Head and the Won Ton soup.

Suddenly they saw Draco Malfoy looking furious and holding something that looked suspiciously like a DVD. "Whatcha got there Malfoy?" said Hermione (a.k.a Baa-baa) tartly. Malfoy's blue eyes went as round as galleons and he got so pale, he became transparent. "Sheep....talking sheep...in the hall...where's Snape when you need him...?" he mumbled, and fainted. "Jeez what a wimp," bleated Hermione as Ron and Harry scurried over to see what the thing in his hand was.

It was a round shiny disc and on it were emblazoned the words, "HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS." Hermione did an excited little jig. "Ron, cart me up to Madam Frompey, this wool is murder on my skin. Harry, go nick rumblebore's DVD player...maybe this is the secret to who the Ghetto of Doorags is!!" "Yes, your neekiness," said Harry and Ron and went off to do Hermione's bidding.

Madam Frompey removed all Hermione's hair except the fro on her head immediately (yay! free depilatory service!) and then Hermione noticed something. At the very end of the ward, lying on four separate beds, Colin Creevey, Hilary Daft, Jamelia and Justin Timberlake were all mummified in...you guessed it....

Doo-rags.

"Oh nooooooo!" wailed Hermione sadly. "The Ghetto of Slytherin is at it again."

"Yes," said Madam Frompey miserably. "And I can't watch Justin Timberlake grind around on my screen until the bloody Bamshakes are ready." "Oh well, said Hermione optimistically, "There's a bright side to everything."

In the Gryffindor common room, Ron, Fred, George, Seamus and Dean were laughing their arses off at the movie playing on Dumbledore's DVD while Harry pounced around singing shrilly,

"SOMEONE MADE A MOVIE ABOUT MY LIFE! SOMEBODY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT MY LIFE!"

"Oooh!" said Hermione excitedly as she watched Daniel Radcliffe onscreen, "That dude is sooo buff!"

"Not as buff as I am!" said Harry bouncing around angrily like the lunatic he was, angry that nobody was paying attention to him.

After about 2 1/2 hours, everyone in Gryffindor house was glued to the screen. Fred and George were still cackling like loons and chucking popcorn at the screen, Hermione, Lavender, Parvati and Ginny were drooling at Daniel Radcliffe and Ron was replaying the same line over and over.

"Gimme my wand, Tom"

"Gimme my wan Tom"

"Gimme my won Tom"

"Gimme my won ton"

"Gimme my won ton"

"Gimme my won ton"

"OK, OK we get the message! Get back to the hot dudes!" shrieked Lavender. But Hermione's face was shining brightly..."Oh my...I think I understand.....oh yes....it all adds together," she said in a low excited mutter, running her fingers through her afro so that it stood up like the empire state building.

"I KNOW WHAT THE SECRET OF THE GHETTO IS!!!" shrieked Hermione excitedly. "The entrance is from Big Wong's chinese takeaway in Little Hogsmeade!

"Yo I be bouncing in da hizzy dis izzy" cried Tiny Ron in a small voice

"Wow! Me and Cho went there on our 1st date!"

"Did you and Cho even HAVE a first date?" asked Fred

"Fred and I know every single secret passage in Hogsmede and there isn't 1 leading anywhere near Big Wong's, we are personal aquattances of big Wong himself, like bling bling!"

"your dumb Hermione" and Hermoine went to throw herself off a cliff. Ha ha.

A/N: Thank you for everyone who reviewed! Also, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my cousin Karen who was the inspiration for Ron's manic replays. Hugs and Kissies!