Chapter 2: A Push in the Right Direction
"Enough's enough," Trip muttered to himself as he marched down the corridor toward Jon's quarters. "Four weeks is way too long to still be dancin' around this."
He pushed the chime on his friend's door with a vengeance, letting his emotions seep over. "Enter," a voice called faintly from inside the room.
"So are ya going to do something about it, or are ya just gonna sit here and… I don't know, think?" Trip asked belligerently as he walked into the room, his arms crossed in front of him.
"And hello to you too Trip," Jon said bemusedly. "Mind telling me what exactly you're ranting about?"
"You 'n T'Pol! It's been four weeks since ya talked to her about the Trellium-D… at least I'm guessin' you talked to her?" he backtracked, glancing at him questioningly. When he received a slight nod in reply, he barreled on through with his speech. "Well then what're ya doing here, just… readin'?" he asked, tossing his hands up in frustration.
"I'm trying to broaden my horizons Trip… books are good for that you know," Jon said, unable to resist the opportunity to goad him a little.
"Yeah, so I've heard. Wait a minute… what are you reading?" Jon tried to cover the title, but Trip's sharp eyes caught it before he had a chance. "The Teachings of Surak? You've got it bad my friend…" he said, shaking his head in amusement.
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Jon responded stiffly, slightly embarrassed at being caught.
"Sure ya don't. Why exactly are you reading Surak then?" Trip asked, laughter in his voice.
"It's a long story," Jon mumbled, closing the book and setting it down on the bed beside him.
"Are you helping T'Pol put her emotions back together?" Trip asked quietly.
Jon shrugged, some part of him wanting to keep his discussions with T'Pol private. "Something like that," he hedged. "We're just talking—she's helping me just as much as I'm helping her," he insisted. "I've had a lot on my mind the last few weeks. Letting a mission like this go down to the last wire like it did isn't exactly calming… it's been good for both of us to have a friend we could talk to."
Trip snorted in disbelief, remembering his original reason for coming here. "A friend? Is that what you've been telling yourself?" he questioned, leaning against the wall.
Jon took in his posture and the one raised eyebrow that so clearly expressed doubt. "Something he picked up from T'Pol," he mused to himself before answering. "And what exactly should I tell myself?" he asked out loud.
"How about bein' honest about how you feel? How about telling yourself that you don't see T'Pol as just a friend, and that it's been a long time since you have?" Trip challenged.
"You're wrong," Jon said, his voice sounding unconvincing even to his own ears.
"Sure I am. Why don't you just admit that you're in love with her?" Trip pressed.
"Why are you so interested in this?" Jon queried, trying to change the topic.
"Misdirection won't work with me Jon, I've known you too long. But to answer the question, I'm interested in this because even though I'm not in love with her, I do still care about her. She needs this relationship Jon," Trip said, his tone getting serious. "She needs you to anchor her."
"I don't want to be with her just because she needs me," Jon said softly, looking away.
"Of all the… That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! All right then, how about because you need her?" he offered sardonically. "You're a better captain when you 'n her are on good terms… what do you think it would be like if you got rid of that last little bit of tension in your relationship?"
"Damnit Trip!" Jon yelled. "Don't you get it, I don't want a relationship based on need at all, mine or hers! I want it based on friendship, affection…"
"And love," Trip finished for him. "Come on, it's just you and me. Admit that you love her, just this once!"
"Fine! I love her! Are you happy now?" When Trip didn't answer, Jon looked over to see him grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Look Trip… would you just leave? I really don't want to talk about this anymore tonight," he requested.
"Sure Cap'n, not a problem," Trip replied, barely managing to keep the glee out of his tone. "I'll see ya tomorrow," he said, backing into the corridor.
"Well, one down and one to go," he told himself as he walked a familiar path and rang another chime. "T'Pol, it's Trip. Can I talk to ya for a moment?" he asked.
"Come in Commander," she replied, causing him to sigh internally. Things hadn't been the same between them since he'd told her he'd probably only married her because she was the last woman on the ship. Of course, things would never go back the way they were, but he did miss her friendship.
"T'Pol, I've got some questions for ya, and they might sound kinda presumptuous. I'm just askin' as a friend though, okay?" he said, trying to clarify his motives before he got himself in trouble.
T'Pol raised an eyebrow and said, "If the questions you have are so unpleasant in nature, perhaps it would be best if they remain unasked."
"Nah… some things can't just stay hidden away. You showed me that, when I was crying for Lizzie remember? Just trust me when I say I'm not tryin' to be offensive or pushy, I'm just looking out for you."
"Sometimes what you humans call 'looking out for each other' leaves something to be desired," T'Pol muttered.
"What was that?" Trip asked with a grin. T'Pol may be having a hard time dealing with her emotions, but they sure made her an interesting Vulcan to be around.
"What are your questions, Commander?" she asked coolly, turning the attention back to him.
"Right, my questions. First, how are you doing?" he asked seriously. "Are ya handling the emotions all right?"
"I'm not even going to ask how you know about that, but the answer is yes. They are becoming easier to manage."
"I bet you've had some help managing them," he said, trying to hint at what he wanted to say instead of being blunt.
"Is there something you're trying to say Commander?" she questioned, her eyes narrowing.
Trip wasn't sure, but he thought he might be really close to experiencing a Vulcan's temper first hand. In any case, he decided it would be safest for him to back up and just be honest with her. "Has the Cap'n been able to help you?" he asked.
"We have talked some, yes."
"Did you know he's reading through that big book of Surak you gave him a few years back?"
"That does not surprise me. He is not one to take his duties lightly, it only makes sense that he would be conscientious about helping me regain control of my emotions. It would not be safe for Enterprise's first officer to break down on the bridge."
"True, he's always responsible when it comes to his duties, but I don't think he sees this as just a duty T'Pol."
T'Pol let out a long-suffering sigh. "Commander, I must ask you if there is a point to this conversation, or if you are just trying to 'dig up dirt' as the Earth saying goes."
"You should know me better than that T'Pol," Trip replied, hurt that she would think such a thing. "I'd never use something like this to embarrass either one of you; I haven't even told anyone else about the Trellium-D."
She sighed again, this time in frustration. "You are correct Commander, I am aware of your scruples in this area, and I thank you. I apologize if I implied anything different. However, I am still curious as to what exactly you are asking."
"T'Pol, I don't think Jon's just helping you because it's what's good for the ship, he's helping you because it's what's good for you."
"Yes, has said something along those lines. We are friends, you know that."
"Right… I don't remember him ever reading an old, dusty book of sayings to help any other friends," Trip said.
"It is only logical Commander. I am a Vulcan, there are some things he needs to know about Vulcans so he can understand exactly what I am experiencing."
"My point is he's going to an awful lot of trouble to help you… don't you find that interesting?" Trip pressed.
"Far more so than this conversation," she muttered, not realizing she was saying it out loud.
"Okay, okay… I can take a hint. All I'm saying though is that you should think about it. And while you're at it, think about what you'd do to help him, if you had to. Listen to your heart T'Pol, now that you know you've got one," he told her, leaving before she could offer a reply to his last jab.
He wandered down the corridor aimlessly, unsure if his mission had been successful and unaware of the mental turmoil he'd created in both his superior officers. No sleep was to be found that night for the captain and his Vulcan, instead their thoughts ran on remarkably parallel lines:
"Is he right? Is there something here we haven't explored, something we're not even willing to admit exists? Should we risk finding out, or should we be content with what we have? Friendship is an amazing thing, and not something that should be taken lightly or given up on a fool's mission. I can see this will take much thought."
