Authors Note: Don't hate me...because I love you all so very much! Look the bottom for another authors note after you're done with this chapter! Thanks for the reviews! Please, keep reviewing, even if they're mean! Much love
Just A Reminder: ASP's. My imagination, though.
Chapter Fourteen: It's Too Late
"Max." She said quietly to herself.
"How are you Lorelai?"
"Uhm, shocked. I haven't seen you in quiet some time."
"I know, it's been too long." He said moving to the seat next to Lorelai. "How are things with you?"
Lorelai was still stunned to see him. Max, her ex-fiancee. This wasn't just some random ex-boyfriend. She was going to get married to this guy. And although she'd seen him at CHilton for the Bicentennial, still. It had been some time. "I am...great, how are you Max?"
"I'm doing better now. I'm so glad to see you."
The lady walked up to Lorelai and handed her a takeout cup of coffee. She paid the lady, and started walking towards the door with Max following her. They sat down outside on a bench in a little park behind the coffee shop.
"So, what's going on with you? Still living in California?" She said, sipping her coffee, avoiding eye contact with him.
"I'm back actually. I'm starting to teach around here again. How's the Independence Inn?"
"I believe it's called the Dragonfly."
"What?"
"Sookie, Michel, and I just opened the Dragonfly Inn a few weeks ago. Everything's going great."
"That's good to hear. How is Rory? Did she enjoy her first year at Yale?"
"Oh, yeah, gosh, she loves it there. We're all...good."
There was a long, awkward silence. Lorelai purposely acted like drinking gulps of coffee was the most important thing to her, when really it was just burning her throat.
They ended up talking for a good 10 minutes, about work, and family, and things, but no where in there conversation did the topic of boyfriends or girlfriends come up.
Max moved in a little closer to Lorelai. It felt like they were miles apart from eachother. "I can't tell you how good it is to see you." He said.
He leaned in even closer to Lorelai, and quickly went in for a kiss. She didn't stop him. Although she wasn't completely aware it was coming, something came over her. She froze, and just returned the kiss. He parted there lips with his tounge. Something felt so scary, so wrong, but Lorelai didn't pull away. It had been almost a minute until Lorelai realized what she was doing. She pulled away quickly and closed her eyes, sighing extremely loud. She looked so worried. Like nothing could be worse.
"Lorelai?"
She opened her eyes, and before she know's it, Max's lips were against hers again. Once again, they repeated the pattern, and finally Lorelai came to her senses, pulling away and standing up. She threw her hands in her face, and lightly stomped on the floor.
"Is everything okay?" He asked, looking at her confused.
She shook her head, and stared at him for a moment in disbelief. Did she really just kiss him, twice?
"No Max, everything is not okay. I can't believe that just happend. Max, it's too late. It's too late for all of this. I can't believe what I just did. I'm in love Max. Can't you see that?"
"Well, you didn't say anything, Lorelai." He stood up, trying to get closer to her, to comfort her.
Suddenly, Lorelai realized this time was all her fault. She didn't mention Luke, to Chris, or Max. And this is how she got in these positions. She didn't tell Max anything, what better did he know? It was all her fault, and it was too late to fix anything.
"Max, I have to go. I have to go right now." She stared walking, and he followed after her.
"Lorelai, wait."
Lorelai started walking quicker, and eventually broke into a run. She ran to her car, put the keys in, and drove home crying. 'How could I have messed up so badly? This wasn't a simple mistake. Luke wouldn't understand me this time. It was my fault, I'm stupid, I should have pulled away right away. I shouldn't have let him kiss me again.' Tears were streaming down her face when she finally pulled up to her house. She ran inside, avoiding anybody that might be around. Nobody could see her like this. She couldn't show her face to anybody. Especially Luke. She ran up to her room, and grabbed the phone immediately, dialing Rory's cell phone.
After 5 rings, her answering machine picked up. "It's Rory...leave a message if you must."
"Damnit!" Lorelai called out loud. She pressed redial, and got the answering machine yet again. She did this another 3 times until Rory finally answered.
"Hello??"
"Rory."
Lorelai sounded like she had been crying. Hell–she still was, although it had slowed down somewhat.
"Mom, are you okay?" Lorelai was silent for a little while, "Mom? Are you there?"
"Yeah, I'm here." She sniffled through the phone, Rory knew she was crying.
"Mom, what's the matter?"
"Rory, I made a huge mistake. And now, it's too late to take it back."
"What did you do?" Rory asked frantically.
"I went to a coffee shop today," she began, "and who to my surprise is sitting next to me? That would be Max. Yeah, the guy that I loved, well sort of..the guy that I almost got married too. Good ole' Max. You're teacher Max, my ex-fiancee Max."
"Mom, I know who Max is."
"We were talking, Rory. And we went outside, and we were just talking, and before I know it, he's kissing me. I didn't pull away, Rory." Lorelai had began to start crying more, "When I finally came to my senses, I pulled away. It was too late though. He's kissing me again, and I'm doing nothing. I'm sitting there, as if things are okay with us, when in reality they are far from okay."
Rory was speechless. She knew her mother very well. Well enough to know that this was a huge mistake, and that it'd take some time to get over. "Mom, I..."
"Luke, Rory. I can't stand hurting him. I can't imagine how crushed he's going to be. That's why I didn't want to begin things with him in the first place! Because I'm stupid, and I can't stand hurting him. I don't know if things are going to be okay between the two of us. What if..." Her voice was quivering slightly, "what if we break up? Rory, I love him so much, I can't bare to be away from him. I didn't mean to let Max kiss me." At this point, she wasn't crying that much, she was practically screaming into the phone like a little baby.
"Mom...you have to tell Luke. And the sooner you tell him, the better. After you guys talk about it, I'm sure things will be okay. You have to go talk to him though."
"It's not that easy. I'm so scared. He's going to hate me. He'll never want to talk to me again."
"That's not true. Go talk to him, soon. Tell him everything you told me. About how you love him, and how it was a mistake. Go, mom. You have to. Call me later. I love you."
"You too." She hung up and sat in her bed, massaging the temples of her head with the palms of her hands. She had never felt so stupid, and humiliated. She needed to tell him, she reached over and grabbed the phone.
After a few rings, he finally answered. "Luke's."
The sound of his voice made her stomach immediately weak. A feeling of nerves washed over her. It hurt to hear him talk.
"Hi," she said softly.
"Lorelai?"
She couldn't say much without her voice cracking. She had to end the conversation quickly, before he started prying for answers. She wanted to tell him in person after all. And she had to do it tonight.
"Yeah, it's me."
"What's up?"
"I need you to come over." She said , her voice cracking slightly.
"Is everything okay?"
"Just...I need you to come over in a little bit. What time is it?"
"It's almost 4:30."
"Come over in a half hour. Okay?"
"Uh...yeah, I'll be there." She wasn't the only one nervous anymore.
She managed to go in the shower and change her clothes before he came. At about 4:25, Lorelai sat nervously on her couch. She was so scared. She had no idea how he'd take it. When she heard the door bell ring, she practically jumped out of her skin. She walked over to the door and forced a pathetic little smile out. Her legs felt like jellow, and her head was pounding.
"Hi" She said pulling him inside.
"How are you?" He asked.
"I'm okay, how are you?"
He looked at her suspiciously. She wasn't okay, he knew it. He knew that this wasn't going to be a good conversation.
"I'm alright..."
She grabbed his hand and walked him over to the couch. She sat down next to him. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She couldn't stand looking at him without feeling so hurt.
"Luke," she began. Her voice was shaking and he could completely tell. Tears swelled to her eyes. She tried so hard to keep them back, but she couldn't. "I made a mistake."
Luke just stared at her, sadly. For the first time ever, Lorelai looked at him and he looked small. It was like when she told her parents that she was pregnant. They looked so small, and helpless. And now, Luke did. He couldn't help her with any of this. He kept staring at her, waiting for her to continue. She closed her eyes and bit her lip slightly.
"Luke...today, I saw Max."
You could see the anger in Luke's eyes the second she said Max. He always hated Max. And to know that this had to do with him, of all people, angered him so much more than he could have been. 'Why Max?' He thought.
"And..." he was able to mumble out.
"And we were talking. And, then...he kissed me." Luke sighed. He was a little relieved to hear that was all. Or was it?
"And, I didn't exactly pull away right away." Her words started to quicken. "After a little while, I realized that it wasn't you."
Luke was getting so angry, this was her second time doing something like this. First with Chris, then with Max. "I'm glad to see you aren't blind."
"Luke, he kissed me. And I kissed him back. But when I pulled away, I realized what had happend. And I realized what a mistake I made. But before I could do, or say something to him, he was kissing me again. And I was stuck in that same position. I didn't do know to do. I froze, and I let him kiss me. I kissed him back." She finished quietly. She looked so scared. Luke began to make a face. A face full of madness.
He stood up and started pacing back and forth through the living room, glaring at Lorelai.
"This is your second time Lorelai." He said.
She began to cry, she felt so bad, she felt so uncontrollable. "I know" she whispered.
"First you let Chris kiss you. And I can understand to some extent how that's okay. It wasn't your fault then, but those two kisses you had with Max. Those my friend, were your fault." He found himself yelling. He was so hurt, and he wanted her to know.
She just stared at him. She had nothing to say. She knew what she did was wrong. She knew she couldn't fix things now. She knew that he had every right to be mad.
"Why did you let him do it Lorelai?"
She thought. She didn't know why, and that was the truth. "I don't know Luke. I don't know. I saw him, and I was immediately confused. I hadn't mentioned that you and I were dating, and he just kissed me. I pulled away, but he kissed me again. And I eventually pulled away from that one too."
He was so sick of hearing those words, 'he kissed me, I kissed him.' Was she purposely trying to rub it in his face even more?
"Why were you confused? Are you having doubts about us, Lorelai? Because if so, I have to know."
"No Luke, I'm not. I don't know what came over me. I don't–I don't..." she was lost, "I don't know what to tell you."
"You know, this wouldn't be so bad, if you would have 'pulled away' quicker. But now it's too late and there's nothing you can do about it." He said... "I just don't understand. I thought things were going so good with us."
"They were. They...are." She managed to say. He wasn't the only hurt one. She felt so hurt because even though things with Luke were going great, she was confused as to why she didn't pull away quicker. Did she actually enjoy kissing Max again? She didn't know.
"I don't know, Lorelai. I love you, but if you are so confused, and you are kissing other guys, I don't know–maybe...maybe we shouldn't be dating right now. I think you need some time to work things out."
"But Luke, I love you too."
"Well, you have weird ways of showing it. You don't see me kissing Rachel, or Nicole these days do you? No you don't. Because if I ever saw them, Lorelai, the first thing I'd tell them is that you and I are dating. Because that's something I'm proud of. You on the other hand, I don't know." He began walking towards the door. "Goodbye, Lorelai." He said opening it.
He started to walk out. Lorelai's voice was so quiet. She couldn't manage to say something louder than the soft whisper that eventually muttered out, "Luke don't go." But it was too late, he was already driving off.
'The first thing I'd tell them is that you and I are dating. Because that's something I'm proud of.' She thought about his words over in her head. Those one's in specific. That's what hurt her the most. That's what made her heart go out to him. She knew that would be the first thing he'd tell them. He finally got Lorelai, after all this time. So why shouldn't she be telling Max, and Chris these things? That she didn't have an answer to. She went up to her bedroom and cried herself to sleep. She knew she messed things up badly. As bad as they'll possibly get. He was gone, and they weren't together for the meantime. She burned inside, and as the tears ran down her cheeks, she felt so empty and alone. She knew she didn't have Luke anymore. Not until she fixed things up, but that could take...forever.
Up Next: Rain Does Crazy Things
Authors Note: Okay...so don't hate me! Because, you have to realize that if they were together the whole time...what fun would that be? So PLEASE review! I want to know what you guys think! I need some sorta feedback before I keep posting. But, the next chapter...is my favorite! So, yeah...just remember, JAVAJUNKIES all the way! :o)
