~Yeah, Yeah, I know, this took me way too long to update. But I have an excuse. I'm lazy. That's not much of an excuse, granted, but at least it's true. I just lack the patience sometimes to sit and type out everything on time. Besides, I've been real busy with my RPG groups and I've been working on a couple other fics, though they're also far from finished. Promise I'll do better in the future, and I hope this tides over some of the people who have been e-mailing me to update. Thanks for the support. ;-P
A Hero Enters… An Idiot Persists
By Lunauc
Rushing back into the play ground, Naruto called out, "Okay, I've delivered the letter. Now we just have to wait for the ransom to show up." Some of the children cheered at that note, happy that the food would be coming. Hearing their approvement, the blonde self-proclaimed ninja was once more smiling in pride.
The smile faulted though when Sakura pointed out again, "And then the police show up."
With a sudden groan, Naruto insisted, "I already said I can handle the police."
Ino spoke up this time, "But won't they have guns and batons and handcuffs and stuff?"
This got the images of chibi-Naruto running through the boys mind, as the coppers were shooting at him and cuffing him and beatng him with their clubs. Thinking it over, he felt a bit sick, and the color drained from his face. Yet, noticing the other children eyeing him curiously, Naruto steeled himself and declared , "When I say I can handle some dumb cops I mean it. Like I said, a cop stands no chance against a ninja." Crossing his arms he closed his eyes and with it the subject. The children seemed pacified, as most of their parents were ninja, and the children themselves were being trained for the same life. Regardless of Naruto's obvious lack of their capabilities, they didn't argue a ninja's advantage against a normal police officer.
Shikamaru though did comment, "What if they send in a ninja?"
The idea raised a few eyes, including Naruto's, who asked, "What?"
Shrugging his head to one side as he lounged atop the jungle gym, the pony-tailed boy explained, "Well, I saw this one movie where a ninja was terrorizing this village, and the local authorities couldn't handle him, so the villagers paid a ninja to come get their children out. What if our parents get a ninja."
"Uuuuuhhhhh…" Naruto's face blanked as he considered the terrible possibility. 'They wouldn't really send a ninja. Would they?'
From behind him came a new fear, "Heck, my parents are ninjas." With horror filled eyes, Naruto slowly turned to face a casual Kiba.
"Th-the-they are?"
Sneering at the blonde boy, Kiba assured, "Yep." Beside him Akamaru gave a concurring bark.
Chewing the inside of his lip a bit, Naruto fretted, 'That's not good.' Meanwhile a pair of angry shadows loomed over Chibi-Naruto.
"Hey mine are ninja's too." Lee added, making Naruto's eyes snap to him."
"Mine too." Chouji spoke.
Then Tenten, "So are mine."
And Neji, "Mine too."
Shikamaru, "Mine too."
Sakura, "My dad's one."
Ino, "So's mine."
And finally, Shino stated, "My parent's are ninja as well."
By now Naruto's expression was a twitching mass of worry. He didn't quite realize that though as his mind was busy watching Chibi-Naruto get stomped to death by a group of angry ninja parents. 'I'm doomed.'
A laughing voice, called his attention, "Haha… he looks like he's gonna wet himself!" Kiba proclaimed as he strutted toward Naruto, chiding, "Didn't you even know who you were taking hostage dummy. We're all from Ninja families. You'll be crushed. Heck, I could even kick your butt, loser." Akamaru barked along in agreement, as Naruto eyed them back apprehensively. Things were falling apart fast. How was he supposed to take on the pissed parents, or even their ninja trained kids for that matter? Kiba stalked forward poking a finger in the mildly nerved blonde boy's chest, persisting, "So? What keeps me from kicking your sorry butt?"
"Uh… uh…." Naruto couldn't think straight at the moment. This was just supposed to be a fun little game. Now it was getting all complicated.
"Somebody's coming." Shikimaru called from the gateway where he had run over to as the sound of approaching people caught his ear. Everyone looked to him for further explanation and he quickly pointed out, "It's another mother and kid."
Kiba gave a snicker, citing, "Looks like you're getting taken down already."
Chouji spoke next, sullenly realizing, "Does that mean no food?"
Leaning an elbow on his shoulder Ino consoled teasingly, "Fraid so, Round boy." He gave troubled whimper, a sentiment that seemed to carry among the other kids. It was a fun game while it lasted.
Kiba chided Naruto further, "And you're done for. You're gonna be grounded for like a hundred years and you'll probably get spanked until you can never sit down again!"
Naruto cringed at the quite possible fact. While footsteps approached, ever closer along the pavement outside the wall, he looked around for some escape route, some way to get out. The other kids looked to him with a mix of disappointment and pity, even the cold Shino and Neji seemed a bit worried. Then he noticed Ebisu, sprawled out asleep on the bench. He'd get in trouble for that too, and stealing from the old man. "Urrrrgghh…" That's when it hit him. Glancing back to Ebisu, he suggested, "I don't think so." Smiling like mischievous fox, he turned a gleaming eye to Kiba, informing him proudly, "I have a better idea."
************************************************
"But Mom, you said I could stay with Big Brother today. He said he was gonna teach me to throw four shuriken at once." The small raven haired boy whined to his Mother as they paced along toward the gates of the playground. "I want to hang out with him, not some dumb kids!"
With a frustrated huff over the argument she'd been having with her younger boy all morning, the woman sternly replied, "I already told you. Plans changed, and he has to come to the meeting with your Father and myself."
"But that's not fair." The upset child bickered back.
"Well life isn't always fair. Sometimes you have to change your plans. It can't be avoided." After nearly an hour of dealing with an irrational child, even a mother's patience was straining. "You can play with your Brother when we get home tonight."
Stopping in his tracks, he hurriedly protested, "But he's leaving tonight for another mission!"
"He'll be home for a while before he goes."
"Yeah, for like an hour maybe. We won't even get to play. He'll have to get ready to go."
Listening to her son's whining words, flustered Mother insisted finitely, "Then he'll just have to play with you when he gets back from his mission."
Tears were pricking at the boy's eyes as he spoke disdainfully, "He's hardly ever home anymore, just like you and Father."
"Enough!" She cried at the boy, demanding his attention, "Now stop it. I don't want to hear anymore about this." After a pointed glare to the boy's eyes, he shut his whimpering mouth and replied with an off target glower which melted away to a worthless frown under her gaze. Taking his hand, she pulled him along toward the playground, getting quite fed up with his selfish behavior. He knew full well that as Ninja they had duties and responsibilities to uphold, and she didn't have time to deal with him if he was just going to get unreasonable. She dearly loved her children, but she couldn't give them everything they wanted. Someday he'd understand that you have to often give up what is wanted to protect what in needed. Perhaps by the time he became a Ninja, he'd learn this valuable lesson.
Leading the boy through the gates of the stone walled play area, she was greeted by the sight of playing children, and an oddly deep voiced, "Oi!"
Raising a brow, she turned her head to the oddly tactless address, to find a young ninja lounging awkwardly on the bench, he's legs crossed casually one arm draped back over the seatback and a bandana was wrapped over the lower half of his face. A few of the children cast nervous glances his way as well, yet kept to their own ministrations, as the Mother chanced, "Um… you must Ebisu, right?"
"Hai!" The sitter declared in affirmation as he raised a weak salute.
Sweat-dropping a bit at the odd sight of the young ninja, the woman uttered back, "Uh… right. Anyway, this is my son, Sasuke." Drawing the boy by the hand, he was displayed to the playground as a boy with spikey black hair, wearing a loose blue shirt and a pair of gray short pants. He chewed his lips as he scowled back out the gate, offering only chance glances toward the teacher and the other children, who seemed quite interested in him and his Mother.
"Hai! Hai!" Ebisu replied as he nodded his head rather awkwardly.
The Lady Uchiha stared back at the odd sitter suspiciously. Something was definitely off about him. Before she could further inspect though, another protest came from her child, "You're gonna leave me with that weirdo?"
Sighing at his comment, she returned, "Yes, and you're going to behave yourself. Understand?" Sasuke crossed his arms furiously and continued to pout. "Now I have to go." She was about to, but looking down at her annoyed child, she took a second to kneel down, offering in a Motherly tone, "I am sorry that you can't play with your Brother today, but we can't change that. Try playing with the other children, maybe you'll have a good time." He looked to her rather sorrowfully, but quickly turned his nose up away from her, persisting with his scowl. Letting out a heavy breath, his Mother stood, consenting, "Fine, suit your self." With one last glance to Ebisu, she politely bowed and asked, "Please take good care of my surly boy. I must be going."
"YOSH!!" Ebisu suddenly held out an upturned thumb of his left hand. He held the pose even as the Uchiha madam shook her head in embarrassment for the young ninja's odd actions and strolled away, leaving only a pat on the head of her son that she knew was in no mood to hug. Howeve, once out of sight, his hard face did soften as he watched her go, leaving him behind with people he didn't know. Remembering their presence, he reclaimed the steel of his expression and turned to address them. They were all ardently watching his mother's exit, listening to her footsteps moving down the pavement. One boy with thick brows suddenly ran from the jungle gym and climbed up on the wall, to check that the woman was out of sight.
Still half hanging, he turned his head back to call to the other children over his shoulder, "She's gone!" Suddenly laughter and applause passed among the kids as they begin to chatter over some amazing achievement. Sasuke stared on, completely confused by the whole scene. Why were though so happy just because his mom took off? "Man, Naruto, I can't believe she fell for that." Finally Ebisu was allowed to fall back against the seat as a scruffy little blonde boy appeared from behind him, laughing his little round head off.
Even Kiba stepped forward to offed in happy disbelief, "Yeah, ya looked so dumb, I don't know how she didn't figure it out."
As his laughter broke, Naruto sucked in a refreshing breath and declared back, "Foolish amateur that was a perfect technique!" Hopping over Ebisu, doing a hand spring off the arm of the bench toward the new kid Naruto called back, "That's my Ninja way! Never underestimate me!" Stepping up to Sasuke, he asked in the strange gruff voice he'd presented as Ebisu, "Welcome to hostage's life, boy." Sasuke just gaped back at the blonde child. The Uchiha youth had no idea what was going on. Best he could tell the kids had immobilized the teacher. And what was this about being a hostage? Were they terrorists or something? Perhaps they were sent to kidnap members of the Konoha clans. Getting no reply, Naruto tried again, "Hey, kid, you hear me or what?" Grabbing Sasuke's shoulder to shake him out of his thoughts, Naruto was suddenly caught by a sudden force that had him lying on his back dizzy before he could really comprehend what happened. The other children got the benefit of seeing the whole thing. Sasuke had suddenly reached up, grabbed Naruto's wrist and with a quick turn and spin, performed a perfect hip throw to the Ninja wannabe. The children were shocked. They just stared at the raven haired child who loomed over their pretend captor, exuding an air of superiority.
Hinata looked very worried as she fidgeted a bit in her seat in the sandbox with Sakura and Ino. Nervously she muttered, "I-is… is he al-alright?"
She spoke so softly only the other two girls heard the question, and neither had an answer. Though Sakura relayed the sentiment to the blonde boy, calling out, "Hey, Naruto, are you still alive?" The others also waited for the answer to that question, while Sasuke looked among them and noticed a few coming forward to check on the boy. Groaning from his spot on the ground, Naruto began to realize his position. Dazedly he pushed himself up to a sitting position, while his head still felt shaky.
"Unnnngghhh… whah happenh?" he slurred out as he took a look around to his staring peers.
With an utterly amused chuckle, Kiba spoke up, "You just got tossed, Loser!"
"Eh?" Seem to gain a bit of consciousness with the concept of being laughed at, he sought out for clarification, "Whatta ya mean?"
Ino stood up to make point, "You just got thrown to the ground by your new "hostage", Mr. Kidnapper."
"Uuuuhhhhh…" Noticing the shadow being cast over himself, Naruto let his head roll back to look at the boy who had thrown him, and was currently directing an angry glare down at the boy. 'Scary.' Scowling back though, Naruto spun round to demand, "Hey what's the big idea, ya jerk!? I'm the kidnapper here you aren't suppose to flip me!" Hastily getting back on his feet, Naruto moved to get in the boys face,poking a finger in his chest, ordering, "I'm in charge! Got that?" Suddenly Naruto's arm was grabbed, and before he knew it, he was on the ground again. At least he wasn't knocked dizzy again, as he yelled out, "Dammit!"
"HA HA! What a loser!" Kiba called out as he laughed, Akamaru snickering beside him.
"That really is pretty pathetic." Sakura concurred discreetly to Ino and Hinata, the blonde nodding along in agreement as the shy girl chewed her lip watching the scene.
While the other children laughed at the fallen "Ninja" Sasuke just stared down at the boy colded, instructed, "You should quit the hostage talk. You stand no chance against me." Below him, Naruto growled back in a mix of rage and embarrassment.
"BAKA!" He cried as he hopped to his feet and rushed a tackle toward the statuesque Uchiha boy. With barely a step to the side and a tug on Naruto shirt, the blonde boy was tripped and sent tumbling again. Rolling to his shoulder as he skidded a few feet on his back across the dirt, it took him a moment afterward to get up. As he did, he rubbed his sore head, swearing under his breath I frustration."
"Wow. And he isn't even a cop." Chouji chimed in from his position on the carrousel.
Shikimaru, beside the rounder boy pointed out, "So? He isn't really much of a kidnapper." Chouji considered the notion for a second, shrugging in even consent.
"True but this reminds me of something else." Ino called back to them as she overheard. "It isn't always the cop or a hired Ninja that takes out the kidnapper." The children looked to her with interest, including Naruto from his spot on the ground and Sasuke who glanced back to the blonde, wondering what was going on. "In some movies it's a hostage that beats the kidnapper." Naruto's brow raised.
"Oh yeah!" Sakura exclaimed as she recalled a movie or two with that outcome. "Like that one where the kidnapper takes that woman hostage and she turns out to be a martial artist, and she beats the crap out of him."
Ino nodded along, pointing out, "And now Naruto has underestimated his new hostage, who is thoroughly whooping him, and saving us."
The other kids nodded along in understanding, as Sakura declared, "Then that would make Sasuke the Hero of the story."
Ino smiled back in agreement. "Right." Turning to the boys at odds, she yelled over, "Do your best my Hero!"
On the same page, Sakura joined in, "Yes, save us lovely damsels from his evil clutches!"
While they cheered on Sasuke, who blinked back at them in utter confusion, Kiba shook his head at the display of the girls, muttering to Lee and Shino, "What are those dumb girls talking about? We could've kicked his sorry butt whenever we wanted." Shino shrugged back, clueless and uninterested.
Lee offered though, "I guess they just pick their own Hero." Suddenly frowning, he turned to his friends, partially sobbing, "I wish I were the Hero."
Back on the ground, Naruto groaned angrily as he pushed himself up from the ground to stand. Glaring at the cold Uchiha boy, the fiery blonde stated firmly, "I won't loose that easily." Rushing the boy again, Sasuke gave a bemused snigger, preparing to toss Naruto again. Just as he reached out to grab Sasuke about the waist, and he reached to grab Naruto's arm, the blonde boy suddenly planted his foot before him and kicked off to feint to Sasuke's left side, stealing away any leverage as Naruto tackled into his side. The Uchiha boy smirked at the attempt, easily regaining his footing to keep from falling. Twisting his body back to meet Naruto in the struggle, they urgently began to wrestle in an attempt to throw each other.
Their audience was rapt in attention for who would win. The obvious bets were on Sasuke, who was being loudly cheered on by two girls and one puppy associated boy who really wanted to see the little kidnapper beaten. The others remained neutral to the outcome, though one tiny voice did offer a meek, "Ganbatte, Naruto."
The grappling boys shifted and grabbed at each other in a fight for superiority. Naurto had the advantage of a lower stance and the leverage to use it if he could. However, Sasuke was obviously the more competent fighter, and he smirked as his hands found a hold under Naruto's arms. A shift of his wait and sweep of Naruto's legs and the blonde boy was flipped to his back before the young Uchiha. The girls cried out in his victory, and Kiba laughed at the fall, while the others looked on in a bit of concern and wonder over the blonde boy's situation. Sasuke stared down at him, noting plainly, "I told you, you didn't stand a chance." Before the last word even left his mouth though, he noticed something. A black leather strap led from Naruto's hand all the way back up to Sasuke's own waist. He realized what the item was… just before his pants fell down.
The kids were shocked for a second, and the girls blushed as Sasuke's ninja kitty underpants came into view. The torrent that came started with a bevy of controlled snickers and chortles, like the tide rolling out before a tsunami. Then came the immense waves of laughter which pounded against the unnerved Uchiha boy, who blushed furiously as his face finally showed emotion, in the form of intense embarrassment. Hastily he tried to pull up his shots, which seemed to fight with him as he did. By the time they were up again so was Naruto, and the laughter was still coming. "Ha Ha Ha! Like I said, I'm in charge here!" He shouted out as Sasuke glanced back at the mischievous fox child, just in time to see him deliver a quick whip of Sasuke's own belt to the now flustered boy's back side. The sting made him reach back to the sore spot and accidentally drop his shorts again. The children were starting to have trouble breathing at this point over their own amusement, as Sasuke dove to get up his pants again.
