Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
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Kai's POVI never understood that glint in your eyes whenever you looked at me. You were so different from what I'd known, you able to express yourself in ways I never could. I couldn't figure out how you could be as skillful as you are and yet still be generous and kind to everyone around you. Even those who hurt you in the past were forgiven and offered a place in your heart.
I wish I were half the person you are...
You even believed in me, when even myself did not, and still I didn't even take notice of you. I ignored, neglected, did everything possible to distance my self from you. I did it because I knew... I knew if I got to close, you would break me. I wanted you to hate me like everyone else, but the more I pushed the more determined you became.
You were impossible... stubborn just like me.
So like me, but not me, because I didn't care what happened to anybody else, you did. You are so unselfish it makes me more selfish, its like you don't care about...well... you.
I hated you and loved you all at once and never.
I wanted to tell you to stop. To stop helping, to stop giving, because you weren't making anyone really happy, just a lesser melancholy. I wanted you to look in the mirror and see what I saw, someone who buried themselves in other's problems to forget about their own. I wanted you to fix your own life. I wanted you to be more than a lesser melancholy, because there is no thing called happiness.
Only in heaven.
Somewhere I'm never going to receive an invite to, but you will because you're so perfect its sickening. You make me sick, and I love it. You are so contagious, and just for that you should join me in hell. You should be with me.
Together, for eternity.
I don't think I like you, but I know I love you.
Stay with me...love me.
I know I'm not going to heaven, and as I sit here inches from your side, thinking about nothing and everything. I realize I don't need to be among angels to be 'happy', watching you sleep, watching your pleasant slumber is enough.
I am not going to heaven... but in these few moments, I feel as if I'm already there.
I was wrong about one thing though, there is no happiness in heaven either... only a lesser melancholy.
Just like you, Rei.
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Didn't really turn out as i had hoped, i tried to make it better but whatever. Anyway i have a 'real' fic in the works, not a one-shot.
please review!
-LAD
