Chapter Three: A Proper Lady

"My lady?"

At the question Medilia blinked and looked around, slowly becoming aware of her surroundings and the fact that she tasted salt on her lips. She lowered her gaze, embarrassed, once she recognized the placid turquoise waters and scrubbed wooden pier of Koholint Island's Southern Harbor. You're not even on the wharf yet, you can't let your mind wander, she chided herself. "A daydream," she admitted to the anxious Royal Bodyguard standing before her on the gangplank. "I forgot myself."

The Bodyguard seemed to smile at her, but the shadows thrown both by his helmet and the night made it hard to say for sure. "Something that happens to all of us," he said. "My lady...this gangplank is sloppily constructed, I think, and extremely precarious. I fear for your safety if you stand here much longer. Come with me." He extended a gauntleted hand.

Shamed by her lapse, Medilia redoubled her efforts to act a proper lady. Bobbing a curtsy, she took the man's hand and walked down with him to stand on Southern Harbor.

Devoid of all buildings, empty of all boats, and stretching in all directions, swallowing both land and sea, Southern Harbor was a marvel of Hylian triumph over foreign barbaric nature. The quay extended an abnormal distance inland, its wooden slats hiding a long strip of Koholint beach. The waves of the Hylian Gulf lapped tantalizingly against the pier's poles submerged beneath the water, an idyllic sight this black-moon night when the stars glittered against the surface of the gulf water with white-hot intensity.

In legends it was said that Harkinian the Bloodthirsty himself had built Southern Harbor, intending for its massive size to be an eternal reminder of his might. As Medilia stepped onto the dock and glanced down at the idyllic water, she could easily believe what was whispered about Hyrule's greatest king: Southern Harbor did look as if it had been constructed a thousand years ago.

Southern Harbor stank of garbage. Down in the water, past the fantastic reflection of the glittering stars, Medilia spied the swollen, moldy outline of a floating Hyoi pear, too putrid for even the most determined seagull to consider consuming. Spotted with mildew and encrusted with barnacles, the poles supporting the quay no longer seemed to welcome the embrace the water as they had when the Imperial Advisor looked at them from the starboard side of Willow-Weed, the private ship hired by the Crown to sail her to Koholint. Frankly, she thought her position was more precarious now, standing on the ancient wharf.

Nauseated and disappointed at her first whiff of Koholint by night, Medilia turned away from the sight of the lukewarm water, training her dark blue gaze on the Royal Bodyguard who'd accompanied her. He was the only Royal Bodyguard who'd attended her on this long trip from home, and he wasn't near as courageous or talented as her husband Arn, but it was one more Bodyguard than she'd had as a chaperone when walking through Hyrule Castle's sunlit, flag-lined halls. "Where is my next escort?" she asked, hoping her discontent didn't bleed into her voice.

The Royal Bodyguard perked. "You mean the Lady Sasaery, Governor Agah's wife? She ought to be along shortly. She's traveled by carriage to meet you, it is said, from the capital city of Mabe. She's a sweet lady, and fair besides. She'll take good care of you."

Medilia looked up at the dark Koholint sky as the Bodyguard listed Lady Sasaery's numerous virtues, only half-listening. She was starting to feel like a cow, with the way these Bodyguards and ladies were shuttling her around. They treat me like a lady, not like the Imperial Advisor, she thought with rare insight, sliding her arm into the one the Bodyguard offered as he started to walk her about the abandoned pier.

It wasn't like her to be so thankless, she knew, her legs moving as her mind wandered; the beautiful and generous Princess Zelda would never have made an ungrateful woman her Imperial Advisor, nor would she have granted that woman the privilege of visiting Koholint for a few months to prove her worth. That was why Medilia had to make certain that the feelings that led to her disappointment with Southern Harbor were quickly crushed. If she allowed those feelings to fester, she'd rant before the endlessly patient Princess Regent, as she had two weeks ago -- shameful!

Why had she even voiced her misgivings, anyhow? She should not have had any. After all, Medilia had only been outside of Hyrule once. And she'd always longed to visit the faraway places she saw on maps: the antarctic nation of Calatia, whose tiny jagged islands curved in a graceful arc around gargantuan Dragon Roost; the Lands Beyond the Sunrise, vaguely mapped, where men went, never to return; even lumpy Koholint, which she had visited once before to broil while the rest of the world suffered the chill of midwinter.

But a vague disquiet had troubled her ever since she had agreed to the princess' suggestion that she head to Koholint to help the governor with his duties. It was a disquiet that grew every time she looked at the queer purple-skinned Agahnim, who always seemed to be looking at Princess Zelda. It was a disquiet that finally manifested itself in that embarrassing speech. And because it was a vague disquiet, Medilia knew it stemmed from some subconscious ungratefulness. Maybe this island trip will help me destroy it. If the Three will it so...I hope They do.

The Royal Bodyguard beside her stopped and turned around; the lady realized after a moment that he was looking back at the well-maintained Willow-Weed. Medilia looked back too. On the gangplank, she noticed a warm yellow light winking in and out of existence, a round shape holding it up; the ship's captain, she realized. The ship's captain was a portly, accommodating man who smelled strongly of rosewater. She supposed he was all right, even though he was a noncitizen who had no business wandering out onto Southern Harbor when there were surely chores to oversee inside for the ship's Hylian owner. "What is he doing?" she asked.

"He must have some menial task to take care of outside. No need to worry yourself, my lady. You are quite safe with me."

The Bodyguard squeezed Medilia's hand without apologizing for the familiarity and turned around so that they were facing the tangle of forest that Southern Harbor melted into and looming Death Mountain, topped by its strange egglike lump. The Hylian woman's brow furrowed as she stared into the forest and the road that split it in two; unless her eyes were deceiving her, a light was winking in and out of existence in the foliage, too.

"Ah! It must be the Lady Sasaery," the Bodyguard mused aloud when Medilia pointed it out. "The captain was setting out a light to let her know we've dropped anchor here; that's all. Come, my lady...let us return to the ship."

Although the Imperial Advisor allowed the man to lead her back towards Willow-Weed, she did it reluctantly. She found Southern Harbor far more pleasing the farther she ventured from the polluted shoreline. During their walk, they had stopped in a spot where a gentle, sweet-smelling sea breeze whispered against them; that proved a paradise compared with the stench.

The ship captain was there to meet them when they returned to Willow-Weed's side, a flickering lantern in one of his hands. "The governor's wife approaches," he said, smoothing his bushy mustache with his free hand. The captain spoke perfect Hylian but had such a soft, low voice that Medilia had to strain to hear it. "It would seem a welcome's in order."

"We are aware," the Bodyguard said, his voice frigid; the courtesy with which he treated Medilia disappeared when facing mere Koholints, she saw. "Don't you have matters to attend to on the ship?"

"No, sir," the captain said humbly, unfazed. "The ship's been scoured clean, inventories taken...of course, there was little to do with such neat guests aboard. The owner will be pleased."

Before the Bodyguard could grump again, Medilia curtsied. "Thank you for your courtesy, Captain," she said. The vicious murder she had witnessed two weeks ago in Hyrule Castle had helped develop a tiny tender spot in her heart for the round-eared Koholints...and she thought it would appear unthankful to adopt the aloof attitude of her guard, anyway.

The captain blinked, as if not used to receiving courtesies. Then again, he wouldn't be used to it -- he was a Koholint, after all. "My lady is most welcome," he said more loudly than before, his voice almost girlishly high.

The Bodyguard looked agitated even by this comment, and one of his hands hovered threateningly over the hilt of his sheathed sword, but the crunch of wheels on wood diverted his attention. All three of them turned to the source of the sound, the captain lifting his lantern to illuminate what was before the group. The carriage revealed by the light, stopping several yards from the gangplank, was a perfect example of Hylian opulence: the wood of its body gleamed with some high finish, the lantern swinging from the front side burned with a strong light, and the glass window set in the door winked at them. Driving this magnificent, gleaming carriage were two healthy gray horses and one weary-looking Koholint dressed in a neat green uniform, the reins held limply in his hands.

"The Lady Sasaery," the Bodyguard breathed. He broke from the group and advanced towards the carriage, probably intending to help this mysterious lady out of her carriage.

"A fickle man, this Bodyguard," the captain commented once the Hylian man slid out of earshot, watching him open the carriage's door pompously.

"Royal Bodyguards are sworn to mind their courtesies in the presence of all ladies, not just one." Medilia might have elaborated, but thought that was enough to keep him from thinking she might be ungrateful. Virtually alone with a strange fat Koholint, the lady found herself slipping into silence. She might have felt slightly tender towards those barbarians sentenced to die...but they were only partly humanized in her mind, and thus not yet fit to hold prolonged conversations with.

"But the same doesn't hold true for Koholints, who are the High King's subjects as well. Interesting." He lapsed into silence then -- which was just as well, since Medilia didn't know what to say to that anyway.

It was then that Lady Sasaery emerged from her carriage, which prevented any awkward silence from developing between the two. Medilia gasped as she looked at her. Clothed in all black and standing intimately close to the Royal Bodyguard, the wife of the governor looked white under the strong light of her carriage's lantern, white all over: her skin, her hair, even her eyes. She was cadaverous, or so it seemed, and even taller than the man murmuring polite questions to her. The Imperial Advisor averted her gaze; she knew a true Hylian lady when she saw one.

It would not do to have the wife of a governor come to her, she knew; she would have to go to her. "Thank you for your kindness," she said to Willow-Weed's captain before picking up her skirts and heading toward the pair of Hylians. The carriage had not stopped far from the ship, she told herself; it would not be a long walk.

She was flushing by the time she stopped before Sasaery and the Bodyguard to curtsy. "Well met, my lady. I am Koholint's Imperial Advisor."

Like most impassive Hylian ladies, Sasaery didn't smile at her. Medilia wiped the smile from her own face, realizing how flawless the other lady's complexion was. "No need to introduce yourself," this lady said in a dull bored voice that lacked any sort of sincerity. "I've heard much of you -- both from couriers and my own sweet husband. I should be the one offering greetings. Welcome to Koholint, Lady Medilia."

"It is a very beautiful island, my lady." Despite the other woman's unfriendly tone, she hoped that wouldn't turn out to be a lie; she hoped the interior was more picturesque than dissatisfying Southern Harbor.

A small smile touched Sasaery's lips, though it didn't reach her pale eyes. "Oh, it is indeed a beautiful island...I hope to show you much of it. No need to bother with such formal titles, Medilia. You will be staying in the Governor's Palace with my own family, and I believe we shall get to know each other very well. Call me Sasaery."

"All right, my la...Sasaery. We're going to Mabe, the capital city?"

"Yes. We ought to get going. It's a long journey to there from Southern Harbor, and you must be tired." She looked around the deserted dock. "At least you were not accosted by any strangers. Bodyguard!"

The Bodyguard standing a comfortable distance from the two ladies snapped to attention.

"You're to serve as our honor guard," Sasaery matter-of-factly informed him. "Do your duty, sir."

A sense of relief filled Medilia as the Royal Bodyguard saluted and turned away; the man vacillated between disdain and courtesy too often for her taste. That's ungrateful, she told herself as the Bodyguard shouted, "Captain, there's a horse in that ship waiting for me!"

After virtually dismissing the Bodyguard, Sasaery suggested they enter the carriage and leave for Mabe. "Oughtn't we wait for our...honor guard, my lady?" Medilia prodded gently.

Sasaery smiled reassuringly -- or attempted to, Medilia noticed as a thread of disquiet developed in her belly. The other woman's pinched face wasn't made for smiles, it seemed, and the smile she tried to offer turned out to be more a grimace. "Fear not, Medilia. We'll be traveling on a well-paved road, and the Bodyguard will catch up to our carriage easily. We can wait, though, if you're scared of Koholint's leafy green trees. I'll understand -- they're something Hyrule lacks, after all."

That must have been facetious, though the lady's monotonous voice never changed. Medilia found herself slightly prickled by it. "That won't be necessary, Sasaery," she said rather stiffly. "As you said, Mabe is many leagues from Southern Harbor...and I am grievously tired."

Her skirts swirling, Sasaery stepped aside and allowed Medilia entrance into the carriage. Climbing in, Medilia was surprised to see that by some trick the interior was lit with the dull orange light flickering in the lantern. She could clearly see the fine leather seats and carpeted floor. Hopefully, the Governor's Palace is just as luxurious.

Sasaery crawled in, shutting the carriage door behind her, as Medilia sat and smoothed her skirts. She had worn her best gown to Koholint, a navy blue samite creation that brought out the color of her eyes. The governor's wife had seemed unfazed by its beauty, but Medilia hoped to impress the governor himself with it.

The pallid woman stared at Medilia with a cool interest as the carriage started to move, the Hylian Gulf and Southern Harbor falling behind them. "Well, Imperial Advisor..." She paused, as if coming to a sudden revelation. "Imperial Advisor. What an odd title, seeing how Hyrule is no empire. An odd title to be held by a tiny beautiful lady."

"Hyrule is large enough to be considered an empire," the Imperial Advisor said carefully. It would not do to respond to Sasaery's compliments on her 'beauty'; despite her white blond hair and dark blue eyes, her face was too plain for her to achieve true beauty. "It's not wise to question the decisions of the Princess Regent anyhow."

"You tell it true." Sasaery's expression never changed, Medilia saw, not even when she agreed with her. "You ought tell me about yourself, Medilia. We must needs pass the time as we travel to Mabe."

It would not be an unpleasant way to pass the time, the shorter woman acknowledged; it would take her mind off the bumpy, jostling ride. "I was born a Crisca," she began. "You might not have heard of my house...it's grown grievously small over the years."

Truth be told, House Crisca had always been small...so small and poor that their nobility had been only a title; Medilia had even seen her father go to work in Hyrule Castle Town every day like a commoner. A much kinder fate than that which had been bestowed on some of the more infamous Hylian houses, she had to admit. House Banning, for one. Its founder, a Royal Bodyguard named Sir Bann the Turncloak, betrayed Harkinian the Bloodthirsty by slitting the half-mad old man's throat when he ordered his troops to invade Calatia. The Bannings, despite their pledges of fealty to future kings, were plagued all their days by that shame. Some advanced themselves, like High Queen Isa, who'd been born a Banning; like her father, Viktor Banning, who became Koholint's governor; like Sir Viscen Banning, Captain of the Royal Bodyguards. Few could be persuaded to marry the Bannings, and for all their fame and money, their house was even smaller than that of the Crisca now. Sir Viscen was the last of the Bannings, and the house would die with him.

Medilia knew being a Crisca wasn't a terrible fate. Especially considering she was now Koholint's Imperial Advisor. She, too, had advanced herself, and couldn't afford to behave thanklessly when she'd been raised from dirt.

She continued to tell Sasaery of her past, carefully hiding a few things she was reluctant to reveal to a noblewoman, the words coming easier the more she spoke. Dredging up these memories of the past, she found, was a soothing experience.

"My father loved the sea, and though he could scarce afford it, my family visited a small island near Koholint when I was but a maid...we stayed there for a year." They'd fished and swam, sewed and danced. A happy year. The memories made Medilia feel warm and relaxed. "My father sent me to court upon our return, hoping to make a proper lady out of me. I noticed a certain guard there, and once he achieved rank and paid my bride price I married him."

That guard had been Sir Arn, of course. He was not the most handsome of men, it was true, but he was articulate and kind and treated her with courtesy. She romanticized the tale, neglecting to mention that he was also the most respectable man who had asked for her hand, a fact that goaded her father to accept quickly on her behalf. Such was the fate of the fourth, dowry-less daughter of Lord Crisca...a daughter that was already impure.

Too lost in memories to give the tale the attention it needed, she finished lamely, "...And after a few more years at court the Princess Regent made me her Imperial Advisor. So here I am."

"Here you are indeed." Sasaery's almost harsh beauty seemed to envelope Medilia in the dim firelight. "My tale is much less exciting than yours, Medilia. I was born, I grew up, I married my lord husband, and some day I will die."

A cheerful outlook, Medilia thought dryly. Outloud she asked, "What house do you born to, Sasaery?"

"Agah," the woman said with a small, private little smile.

The governor's house was another obscure little one, Medilia knew, and it may have been that Sasaery and Governor Agah were cousins -- but she smiled, taking the chance. "Of course; you've taken your husband's house as your own...what a goose I am. You two must be devoted to one another."

"In our way."

There was a strange urgency in the woman's voice as she leaned forward and took one of Medilia's hands. "Ten miles in," she said, almost to herself. Then she said, "There is something I must warn you of, Medilia. Something I've neglected to mention until now. You see, Hyrule is having a little problem with this province, and with only one honor guard following behind us, we may be in danger of..."

"...Those Koholint bandits. I know."

Sasaery studied her swiftly, her exquisitely pale eyes moving up and down the Imperial Advisor's frame. "Of course you know. But just how much do you know of them?"

There was something in Sasaery's tone that made unease creep through Medilia with feeling fingers. Her hand spasmed in the prestigious lady's suddenly viselike grip, but she didn't dare try to pull away from one above her station. "I know only what I've been told, my lady, what I've heard and what I've seen. A Koholint was brought before an evening court two weeks ago. She told us the ringleader's name, how brave he was and how committed he was to his cause. A pity he had to turn traitor."

"Did you ever suspect why he'd choose to turn traitor?" Sasaery whispered, her voice throaty as it surely only was in the darkness of her bedchamber. "Did this nameless Koholint tell you what he was promised in exchange for turning traitor, or who asked him to do so? Would you even believe it if I told you?" She laughed then, quietly, thickly, as if her throat were full of things that should never be in a throat.

Medilia sensed danger here; it swam in Sasaery's eyes, radiated off her suddenly warm white skin. She cried out and tried to pull out of the other woman's grip, and it wasn't enough. "How would a governor's wife be privy to such information? You're hurting me!"

Sasaery jerked her head to the side suddenly to look out the glass-paned window, and the movement was as sudden and clean as the woman's sharp break with sanity. "I'll tell you how!" she screamed out the window, as if the words were some kind of signal, the murderous firelight of the carriage's torch shining in her white, white eyes. "I know because you've been double-crossed, because I am serving my queen, because you ought to be preparing yourself for quite a ride!"

She saw the flare of another torch outside the window, and then her world flipped upside-down, her head cracking against the carriage's roof, a sharp pain ripping through her side as flames licked a blistering line down her right forearm, and suddenly none of it mattered anymore -- not the stinging pain, not the hurt of betrayal, not the manic look on Sasaery's carefully powdered face. She had time to spy one of the torches out the window, and now there was nothing else to see, nothing but darkness. There was not even time to be afraid.

Sasaery's bestial, victorious cries were her first indication that she wasn't dead. Breathing shallowly, Medilia opened sticky eyes, awaking to fantastic pain, a thousand hurts. The world's sights blurred in and out of focus, none of the things she saw making any sense. She was staring up at the dark sky, knowing that one of the sides of the carriage had been ripped away; she could see Sasaery, whose carefully powdered face was smeared with blood -- whose blood? -- that gleamed redly under the influence of a dozen torches; she could see grimy Koholint men, their weathered faces twisted in triumph, their mouths stretched open wide.

She could see the captain of the Willow-Weed's face...

Every breath hurt, and as she squeezed breath out of her spasming body, she could feel tears trickling out of her eyes and down the sides of her face, settling in her hair.

The captain said something to those surrounded around her in a clipped, sharp language that she instantly recognized: Koholint! She struggled to translate the words. "She's not dead."

They crowded around the intact sides of the carriage, staring down at her as if she was an oddity, staring all -- alarmed Sasaery, the rebels (she knew them for what they were now), the driver of the carriage, the captain. The captain's mustache was hanging onto his face by one side, and in the light of the torches, Medilia suddenly knew that his face was baby-soft, and had never known a day of shaving.

"She'll be dead soon enough, Clare," Sasaery said in perfect Koholint, her eyes still gleaming with mania. "All we must do is slit her throat. Being pierced through the guts is a bad way to die."

The "captain" (Clare?) gave Sasaery one long look before training her gaze down at Medilia. Her fat face was soft with concern, and when she spoke, it was in accentless Hylian. "You ought to know that your Royal Bodyguard did not shirk his duty; I was simply better with my sword. I made sure he lay dead in the Hylian Gulf before I followed you on the horse meant for him. I gave the signal for the driver to force the carriage into a bed of pikes. We had thought one of them would pierce you through the heart, but it appears one got you through the stomach instead. For that I am dreadfully sorry. I did not mean for you to suffer before your death, for you have not harmed me or mine."

"Y..." You plotted to kill me? For what purpose? She couldn't force the words out, a fact that added to her disbelief. The men -- they could not have numbered more than twenty -- had combined forces with a Hylian lady and a mere Koholint who masqueraded as a man? Her Royal Bodyguard was dead? How long had they plotted this? How had they managed to become such a well-maintained instrument of murder?

It occurred to her to wonder why she wasn't dead yet. She tried to look down the length of her prone body, though even this movement caused immense pain. A long pike rose nearly out of the middle of her abdomen, stained with blood and waste; enough blood had soaked the gown she'd been so vain of around the invasive weapon that the navy blue was now black.

I'm dead. But the voice that echoed in her head was not her own. She looked around at the faces looking at her, acceptance quelling the disbelief. These are my murderers. These are those who helped kill me.

She never thought to implicate Princess Zelda -- white, beautiful Princess Zelda -- because she was so far away, and just a girl, just Princess Regent, sending her to sail to her death with no idea of what was about to happen.

Clare stared down at her for the time it took for pain to ripple across her body two times. Then she turned her suddenly cold gaze back to Sasaery. "We must needs get her off the pike. The leader will want to see her...and I'm anxious to slit her throat myself."

Sasaery made some motion. Two of the men climbed into the ruined carriage, standing at the top and bottom of Medilia's pain-ruined body. They grabbed her by leg and arm and lifted her, slowly, off the pike. And Medilia screamed, despite her vow to suffer in silence and to be the shining example of serenity, because the pain was beyond anything she had before imagined. Why didn't she die? Why didn't she die?

They threw her on the dirt road next to a dying fire like so much trash, her petite body trembling and oozing blood. She was going to die. Now, right now, and she'd welcome it willingly. Please let Clare slit my throat, she begged the Three, please let her have mercy on me. Please...

A wind disturbed Koholint's tropical trees suddenly, a wind so gelid it could have come from Calatia itself. She heard the men muttering around her and then her mind opened to him in a breath-stealing rush, him probing through the recesses of her body, him raising goosebumps on her flesh, him using power so cold to fill her ruined core that she screamed, over and over, hoping he was killing her, so long as he'd stop. He was an unrelenting force, his will almost sexual in intensity, and as he departed from her he slid once more into her mind -- and filched a memory from her, a precious payment.

She was trembling as she had before -- but different now -- and she knew that she was full, and would not die from the pike wound. The men were busy stirring, shouting curses, unsheathing their swords, so when she scrubbed blood and wetness from her face, surely they could not tell.

Only Clare the captain saw her, brown eyes wide, skin pale and damp. She seemed to sense the change in her. "What are you?" she said.

There was no time for Medilia to answer, for her to reveal her ignorance. Sasaery was shouting, "Mutoh will slit her throat himself!" and the men began to run, to flee, to melt into the trees. She could only see Clare standing where she'd been before, transfixed.

Mutoh? She felt a thrill of fear. There was time for fear this time, for it seemed to take Clare a long time to close the distance that separated them, to yank her to her feet, leaving Medilia's world in a dizzying swirl. With the pike wound suddenly gone, her attention was turned to her other minor hurts: the large burn wound on her right forearm, a bleeding cut that felt like it was on her forehead, bruises all along the side of her body and her back. He had not stayed long enough.

An authoritative figure was running toward them, rising like a dream from the distance.

Medilia knew she was about to faint. A moment before she could, Sasaery sidled up to her other side and held her up, the two conspirators standing like mismatched bookends as their mutual leader approached.

He stopped before them, panting, out of breath. "Sasaery, Clare. I'm relieved that the two of you managed to survive the attack...but what is this?"

She realized she was staring at Mutoh the carpenter. He was a portly man, and old, with a bushy mustache and baby-fine silver hair clinging to the area just above his ears. He was dressed oddly in both Hylian finery and Koholint homespun, a blue topcoat pulled quickly over a bloodsplattered green tunic and leggings. There was an odd expression on his face as he regarded her: nostalgia? Infatuation? Hatred? Or a mixture of the three?

It seemed to Medilia that she should remember him, but she did not. She merely stood, hanging between Sasaery and Clare, as the man ran up to her with surprising speed and cupped her plain triangular face.

"Medilia," Mutoh whispered.


Sorry for the delay in this chapter, guys, since I'm sure you've all been awaiting it with bated breath. My summer was much busier than I expected, and so was the beginning of my senior year. I'm sure you'll all find it in your heart to forgive me. :)

Greki: You think this is deep? I guess that means I've done a good job on one part of my hobby! Thanks for the review!

ignorantly grinning: You've been severely deprived, not hearing about Mary Sues and all, but don't worry. I'll make sure you're never deprived again. ;) Thanks for reviewing!

Kelsey: I'm so glad to see you gave this a shot...seeing how busy you must be as a precocious 14-year-old and all. I'm just supplanting must with 'must needs,' since in The Scarlet Letter and such they seem to mean the same thing. Thanks for pointing it out, though...and thanks even more for boosting my review count so I seem popular and likable!

LauraCeleste: Hey, sorry to shock you! :) I just hope that by rewriting it, I can create a better sense of things actually happening, if that makes any sense. And there'll be more Link and Zelda banter after I get done reposting all the boring stuff, I promise. Thanks for your review...and all that other stuff you mentioned!

Midnight Starfire: Because of your amazingly excellent review, I'm going to stroke your ego a little more than I did earlier today and say I wish MORE Zelinkers depicted the relationship as you did in your latest one-shot. Oh, by the way, keep writing.

pradaloz: I'm trying hard to use some restraint in writing the characters and the situations, so thanks for pointing all the stuff you liked out. Your review made me feel nice and fuzzy. I hope you'll stick with me while I keep rewriting!