I lay there, on my back, and looked out my window. It was across from my bed, and I hadn't bothered to draw the curtains. The moonlight streamed through at an angle, casting half my room in its silvery light, leaving the other half in darkness. Unfortunately, my bed, which I was lying on, was mostly in the light, leaving me under the scrutiny of any who cared to. Not that I cared though, very few would do such a thing. Not the annoying girls who always tried to get my attention, no, they wouldn't dare, they wouldn't be up at this time anyways. Not Kakashi, he wouldn't get his nose out of that book for anything. Naruto? I laughed softly to myself at that thought. He should be sleeping too by now. And why would he want to look at me at all?
I closed my eyes and sighed, my eyes fluttering open again as a shadow was cast on me. Just a cloud. I waited until it passed and let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I don't often do this, just lying here, doing nothing. Normally, I'd train until very late and be too tired to do anything but sleep. But what did I do today? Why aren't I asleep already? That's why I don't like the moonlight. It makes me forget mundane things, everyday things that I shouldn't forget. I sighed again, and turned to my side. I closed my eyes slightly and curled up. A flood of memories hit me. This is just like that night. Oh God, how long has it been? Since that moonlight night? Moonlight, I hate it, I hate the moon and the soft, shimmering light it casts. Seemingly pure, but not at all innocent, with the secrets it hides. It makes me forget things I want to remember and forget things I need to forget...
Itachi, my brother. So much blood. Why did he have to kill them? Mother and Father, everyone in the clan... why? I hate him. More than anything, I hate him. He killed everyone I held dear, he left me alone. No, nearly alone. I hate him, yes. I want to kill him for what he did, to avenge our parents and the clan, also true. He told me to hate him, and I did, I do, I tried. But deep down, I still love him. I love him as the brother that he is. He is the brother who was never there, the brother who never cared, but he is still my brother. I think, that sometime after the initial fears, the initial rage and tears, I had came to accept everyone's death, and I wondered why he didn't take me with him, why, did he spare me and left me behind? There are times that I, secretly, hoped that he'd come back to claim me, to take me along with him. He never came.
Does he despise me that much to cause me so much pain? Did I bother him so much that he'd kill the clan just to hurt me? If it was my fault, then, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Itachi. I'm so very sorry, big brother. Come back, I don't want to be alone any more. I don't want to hate you, because then I'd have no one to love. I don't want tot kill you, because then I'd have nothing to live for. I clutched my head and curled up tighter. I remember that time so clearly. He had used the tsukiyomi on me. I saw their deaths, my parents, our parents. I squeezed my eyes shut, and felt tears forming under my lashes. I want to scream out in frustration, I want to scream just like that time I did out of fear, rage, and pain. But when I opened my mouth, no sound would come. So I just lay there, curled up as tight as I could on my bed, clutching my head and with my eyes squeezed shut, and screamed a silent, wordless scream.
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Notes
I have no clue how this works. Since this is my first post here, I'll bs everything. Haha. I need an opinions person. A tough critic. Because everyone I've showed this to said this was good. Constructive criticism people!
I understand this didn't make sense, and you probably won't get it. But you know what? I don't get this neither. I just suddenly decided to write this after looking at a piece of fanart. So screw you. (This contradicts with my previous paragraph)
