Author's Notes: This is a spoof of a certain GMD song I did.

I thought to myself, "What if Judge Claude Frollo sang 'The World's Greatest Criminal Mind' instead of Ratigan?" And this is what came out.

It's quite elementary, really.

Anyway, here's the story.

Judge Claude Frollo, Snowball, & The Soldiers (C) Disney.

Same with Bartholomew, who is supposed to be a human in this fic.

Oh, & also "The World's Greatest Criminal Mind". Disney owns that, too.

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Song: "The World's Greatest Hypocrite Mind"

Frollo:
From the brain that brought you the King Louis Caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Notre Dame Job
That cunning display that made Paris a sob

Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great hypocrite brain

Soldiers:
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the Gypsies & heathens you drowned?
You're the crème de la crème around
Oh, Frollo
Oh, Frollo
The rest fall behind
To Frollo
To Frollo
The world's greatest hypocrite mind!

Frollo:
Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been Mass & preaching. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable fourth-rate hunchback, Quasimodo. For years, that insufferable invalid has interfered with my plans. And my conscience! I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But, all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Quasimodo, can stand in my way! All will suffer religious supppression! (pauses a bit) And ethnic cleansing!

Soldiers:
Oh, Frollo
Oh, Frollo
You're par excellence and that's that
To Frollo
To Frollo

Bartholomew:
To Frollo, the world's greatest villain! (Hic!)

(Frollo, angry & shocked beyond belief, spits out his grape juice with a wheeze. The soldiers gasp.)

Frollo:
What was that? (Bartholomew hiccups.) What did you call me?

Soldier 1 (the thin, tall one with red hair in the movie):
Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Monsieur Frollo!

Soldier 2 (the tubby one in the movie):
I-it was just a slip of the tongue!

Frollo:
I am NOT A VILLAIN!

Soldier 3 (in a whiny Cockney accent):
'Course you're not. You're a righteous man!

Soldier 4 (in a deep, gravelly British/Cockney accent):
Yes, that's right. Right! A righteous man!

Soldier 5 (he talks like Mickey Mouse):
Oui, oui, a REALLY righteous man!

Frollo:
SILENCE! Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me...non?

(Frollo blows a little panpipe.)

Bartholomew:
Oh, Frollo
Oh, Frollo
You're par excellence and that's that (Oh, dear)
To Frollo
To Frollo
To Frollo, the world's greatest...

(Snowball, Frollo's black horse, tramples all over Bartholomew, killing the poor drunken chap. Then she eats the bloody human corpse like a tiger.)

Snowball:
Neigh.

(The soldiers begin to cry.)

Frollo:
Oh, Snowball, my precious, my baby...mon amor, mon bebe. Did Daddy's little daffodil enjoy her tasty treat?

Snowball:
Burp.

Frollo:
I trust there will be no further interruptions? And now, as you were singing?

Soldiers:
Even louder
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You're more evil than even you
Oh, Frollo
Oh, Frollo
You're par excellence!
To Frollo
To Frollo
The world's greatest hypocrite mind!

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Author's Notes: And that was my GMD/HOND crossover songfic!

Please read & review! (But NO FLAMES! "Professor Frollo" may need those flames that DO come in...)