"If only... If only I could..."
Without realizing it, Harry had fallen asleep during Professor Snape's class while listening to his droning on and on about how this potion would be unacceptable if you had just - missed - one - step. Right as he had started to truly delve into his daydreaming, the infamous tightwad had just rudely awakened him.
"What in Merlin's name are you muttering about, Potter?" sneered Snape irritably. "If you could only, what? Were you saying if only you could... get an A in this class? Is that what you were saying? Because that could clearly never happen with your abysmal potion making skills," said Professor Snape smoothly, whilst Malfoy and his gang had snickered in response in the background. "I don't know how you got into my class in the first place, Potter and Weasley," he paused, looking at both of them with disgust, "but I can assure you that you won't last very much longer, especially when daydreaming." He proclaimed as he turned his back to observe the rest of the class.
"I assure you that you won't last very much longer," Ron mocked, making hand motions and screwing up his face, "What a git!"
"Yeah, well just think of it this way - there's only a year left with him after this..." Harry said with a pause, "Anyway, have you seen Hermione lately?"
"No," replied Ron frowning, "I was about to ask you the same thing... I wonder where she could be..."
Ron, just as Harry had, now noticed that Hermione had not showed up for Potions today, which was very uncharacteristic of her.
"Yeah, I wonder..."
Thinking back to Hermione had once again caused him to think about what she said before. Of course he could do it, he knew he could.... or at least he was pretty sure he could do it - there were multiple times he had for instance. 'I mean, there was the time when Wormtail had rejoined Voldemort, when Mr. Weasley had been attacked and almost died, and even when he had conversed with Rookwood.' In fact, he even felt what Voldemort felt whenever the scar on his forehead had tingled - which it often did ever since his return last year. Yet, just as Harry was assuring himself, a thought of horror had struck him - Voldemort now knew that Harry had seen what he could see and feel what he could feel at anytime and he could use that to his advantage. He had almost forgotten that. He didn't even want to think about the idea of tapping into Voldemort's mind now, there were too many dangers - like being mislead again into false pretenses... like he had done with Sirius. There were so many other times Voldemort had taken over his body as well, like the time when Voldemort had tried to get Dumbledore to kill him out of pity, the time when he had wanted to bite Dumbledore.. or rather, when Voldemort willed his,(Harry's,) body to do so regardless of Harry's conscious, and even in the dream that supposedly helped Mr. Weasley - while he felt himself being the attacker. Wasn't he the one to blame in this all anyway? Wasn't he the bridge between good and evil? Why did all these burdens have to fall on his shoulders? He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, soon replaced by guilt, of Neville. As much as Harry wanted to believe that nobody his age had suffered as much as he had, he had to admit that people like Neville came exceedingly close.
He just couldn't do what Hermione was asking of him, or rather, suggesting he do. He had already screwed up things enough by falling for another one of Voldemort's traps, that lead to the eventual death of his godfather, as well as one of his few ties left to his father. The loss was irreplaceable and devastating, and although Harry would not admit it, he still wasn't able to cope with Sirius' death. He couldn't risk losing anyone close to him again, to him it seemed as if he was slowly killing off everyone he cared for, and it was slowly eating away at him everyday.
Disgusted with ever bringing the topic up within himself - he almost had banished it from his mind before a lone thought had slowly become prominent within his mind. Why did Voldemort so often attempt to attack Dumbledore through him? He knew that obviously Harry was closer with Dumbledore, and visiting him more frequently, but weren't there other ways to reach him? Harry felt like he was stuck within a battle that truly wasn't his own, even though it was. Dumbledore is and has always been the good wizard, saving innocents, the hero who finds ways to protect you merely with his presence. At so many times, Harry didn't even need Dumbledore presence to help him, just a belonging of his or even a memory of his. Then, there was Voldemort, the evil wizard set out to kill more than half of the wizarding race just for 'pureblood.' He didn't get why it was his duty to battle with Voldemort to the death, when there were just as many capable adults, if not better in magic than him, that could do the same.
'But, it's your prophecy,' Harry's mind whispered to him. He sighed aloud in response. He was honestly getting sick of all this responsibility, and hoped that perhaps, if he pinched himself hard enough, he'd find that this was all a dream, or rather, a nightmare.
"If only, If only I could..." Harry muttered in his sleep for the second night in a row.
That next morning Harry awoke to the same problem he had yesterday, no matter how much he had hoped it was a dream. He thought about it a lot and didn't even realize that Hermione was still not to be seen at the moment. And although he wished that everything happening to him at the moment was a dream, his dreams weren't much better, or rather, the one dream he had been dreaming wasn't much better.
He couldn't help feeling a pang of guilt knowing that he had been having those same dreams he had been having all year, and as Hermione reminded him, (although she had no idea of his dreams,) he should be practicing to keep these dreams away. A year ago, he wouldn't have been bothered by this, but since then, things happened... Sirius died, and Hermione was now missing... neither helped his guilty conscious as he continued to experience these dreams and disregard his Occlumency training from Snape.
He'd known he was muttering in his sleep again because Ron had told him and had started to get worried - which was the exact reason Harry had begun to sleep in the Common Room and lie to his friends saying how he would lose track of time down there and didn't want to wake anyone up, or how he accidentally feel asleep while doing homework.
Harry thought that if Ron knew what he was dreaming about, he'd be even more worried. Harry also knew that if Ron would be troubled, he'd tell Hermione, and if Hermione got troubled, she'd suggest to him to go to Dumbledore, and the last thing Harry wanted to do now was talk to Dumbledore. As much as Harry admired Professor Dumbledore, he also felt exceedingly guilty for the situation that had happened last year due to his lack of practicing Occlumency, and if he had told Dumbledore now about his recent dreams... Well, Harry didn't imagine Dumbledore would be too pleased.
His dreams were just like last year's: always trying to reach out to something - except this time it didn't involve opening doors to reach a final destination unbeknownst to him. It didn't involve searching for something which he knew was important at the time even though he didn't know what it was, for this time he knew what it was. It was a key, they only thing he didn't understand about this dream was about why he needed the key - why he wanted it so badly, why he couldn't reach it - why he always just fell short before he woke up. But, like in his other dreams from last year, he knew it most likely had an important reason involving Voldemort. Every other time he woke up from a dream with his scar prickling - he was, after all, destined with danger with the infamous You-Know-Who. 'So at least,' he thought, 'I know where my dreams are heading.' And something like this is exactly what would worry Ron, and probably even Dumbledore. From this he found that there was only one definite fact in all of this thinking that he knew to be true, he needed that key.
At this point in time, he was so wrapped up in what was the future of his life was going to be, hopefully not what Professor (if that's what you could call her) Trelawney had predicted every year, that he had barely noticed that Hermione's disappearance. Ron however, was very concerned at this point as he so obviously displayed since her disappearance.
"Hermione never misses a lesson," Ron said truthfully, "not one, unless it's something important... what is going on?" he asked fearfully.
Although it had only been a day, Ron had already talked so much of Hermione's absence that, although he himself was concerned, he got sick of hearing about it and decided to finally do something about it.
Harry and Ron had gone around asking people of her whereabouts, but no one knew anything - it was almost as if she had disappeared off the face of the Earth. The only thing that struck them stranger was the fact that people didn't voice much concern about Hermione's disappearance when asked, in fact, they didn't even sound interested - surely, this would've caused a topic to gossip upon.
So after a whole day of inquisition, Harry's level of worry rose to that of Ron's before they had started asking people of Hermione's whereabouts, and Ron's level or worry went through the roof. Harry managed to hear Ron mumbling to himself at random times whilst they were going down the hallways back to the corridors, and as usual, if anything could make the situation worse, it was a chat with Malfoy.
"Still looking for your little mudblood?" Malfoy howled, his two friends who resembled smaller version of trolls echoed his laughter as he continued with what he had to say. "I doubt you'll ever find her, in fact.. I think for once she's done something for her own good and left."
As Malfoy started to leave, seeming satisfied, Ron carried a look containing a mix of bewilderment and anger. Ron had slowly raised his hand from his side, curled it into a fist, and lifted it in preparation to punch Malfoy, but after a moment of thought, he just as slowly put it back at his side, and turned to talk to Harry.
"Harry!" he exclaimed, "I think he knows something... I mean, this may sound odd, but he sounded so sure that she would never come back, as if he knew where she was. Plus, we all know that Hermione would never leave this school. For Merlin's sake, it is Hermione we are talking about!"
"I know," said Harry, actually starting to believe one of Ron's wild accusations - mainly because Malfoy's dad was a Death Eater, (although in Azkaban prison.) "I know," he whispered, now wondering but hoping it didn't, have something to do with the key.
After this long exhausting day, which had only left Harry feeling as if he had gained nothing, he figured that after all of this, the only one who would be able to help him would be Dumbledore, as much as he didn't want to talk to him. Then, after assuring himself once more that visiting Dumbledore was the best possible way to find things out and end this search, Harry walked with Ron back to the Common Room, and then left him there saying he had to go to the Library and quickly pick something up, so Ron would not ask to tag along. As much as Ron would like to know where Hermione was - probably more than Harry - Harry also knew that Ron would not be able to handle whatever Dumbledore would tell them.
Without realizing it, Harry had fallen asleep during Professor Snape's class while listening to his droning on and on about how this potion would be unacceptable if you had just - missed - one - step. Right as he had started to truly delve into his daydreaming, the infamous tightwad had just rudely awakened him.
"What in Merlin's name are you muttering about, Potter?" sneered Snape irritably. "If you could only, what? Were you saying if only you could... get an A in this class? Is that what you were saying? Because that could clearly never happen with your abysmal potion making skills," said Professor Snape smoothly, whilst Malfoy and his gang had snickered in response in the background. "I don't know how you got into my class in the first place, Potter and Weasley," he paused, looking at both of them with disgust, "but I can assure you that you won't last very much longer, especially when daydreaming." He proclaimed as he turned his back to observe the rest of the class.
"I assure you that you won't last very much longer," Ron mocked, making hand motions and screwing up his face, "What a git!"
"Yeah, well just think of it this way - there's only a year left with him after this..." Harry said with a pause, "Anyway, have you seen Hermione lately?"
"No," replied Ron frowning, "I was about to ask you the same thing... I wonder where she could be..."
Ron, just as Harry had, now noticed that Hermione had not showed up for Potions today, which was very uncharacteristic of her.
"Yeah, I wonder..."
Thinking back to Hermione had once again caused him to think about what she said before. Of course he could do it, he knew he could.... or at least he was pretty sure he could do it - there were multiple times he had for instance. 'I mean, there was the time when Wormtail had rejoined Voldemort, when Mr. Weasley had been attacked and almost died, and even when he had conversed with Rookwood.' In fact, he even felt what Voldemort felt whenever the scar on his forehead had tingled - which it often did ever since his return last year. Yet, just as Harry was assuring himself, a thought of horror had struck him - Voldemort now knew that Harry had seen what he could see and feel what he could feel at anytime and he could use that to his advantage. He had almost forgotten that. He didn't even want to think about the idea of tapping into Voldemort's mind now, there were too many dangers - like being mislead again into false pretenses... like he had done with Sirius. There were so many other times Voldemort had taken over his body as well, like the time when Voldemort had tried to get Dumbledore to kill him out of pity, the time when he had wanted to bite Dumbledore.. or rather, when Voldemort willed his,(Harry's,) body to do so regardless of Harry's conscious, and even in the dream that supposedly helped Mr. Weasley - while he felt himself being the attacker. Wasn't he the one to blame in this all anyway? Wasn't he the bridge between good and evil? Why did all these burdens have to fall on his shoulders? He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, soon replaced by guilt, of Neville. As much as Harry wanted to believe that nobody his age had suffered as much as he had, he had to admit that people like Neville came exceedingly close.
He just couldn't do what Hermione was asking of him, or rather, suggesting he do. He had already screwed up things enough by falling for another one of Voldemort's traps, that lead to the eventual death of his godfather, as well as one of his few ties left to his father. The loss was irreplaceable and devastating, and although Harry would not admit it, he still wasn't able to cope with Sirius' death. He couldn't risk losing anyone close to him again, to him it seemed as if he was slowly killing off everyone he cared for, and it was slowly eating away at him everyday.
Disgusted with ever bringing the topic up within himself - he almost had banished it from his mind before a lone thought had slowly become prominent within his mind. Why did Voldemort so often attempt to attack Dumbledore through him? He knew that obviously Harry was closer with Dumbledore, and visiting him more frequently, but weren't there other ways to reach him? Harry felt like he was stuck within a battle that truly wasn't his own, even though it was. Dumbledore is and has always been the good wizard, saving innocents, the hero who finds ways to protect you merely with his presence. At so many times, Harry didn't even need Dumbledore presence to help him, just a belonging of his or even a memory of his. Then, there was Voldemort, the evil wizard set out to kill more than half of the wizarding race just for 'pureblood.' He didn't get why it was his duty to battle with Voldemort to the death, when there were just as many capable adults, if not better in magic than him, that could do the same.
'But, it's your prophecy,' Harry's mind whispered to him. He sighed aloud in response. He was honestly getting sick of all this responsibility, and hoped that perhaps, if he pinched himself hard enough, he'd find that this was all a dream, or rather, a nightmare.
"If only, If only I could..." Harry muttered in his sleep for the second night in a row.
That next morning Harry awoke to the same problem he had yesterday, no matter how much he had hoped it was a dream. He thought about it a lot and didn't even realize that Hermione was still not to be seen at the moment. And although he wished that everything happening to him at the moment was a dream, his dreams weren't much better, or rather, the one dream he had been dreaming wasn't much better.
He couldn't help feeling a pang of guilt knowing that he had been having those same dreams he had been having all year, and as Hermione reminded him, (although she had no idea of his dreams,) he should be practicing to keep these dreams away. A year ago, he wouldn't have been bothered by this, but since then, things happened... Sirius died, and Hermione was now missing... neither helped his guilty conscious as he continued to experience these dreams and disregard his Occlumency training from Snape.
He'd known he was muttering in his sleep again because Ron had told him and had started to get worried - which was the exact reason Harry had begun to sleep in the Common Room and lie to his friends saying how he would lose track of time down there and didn't want to wake anyone up, or how he accidentally feel asleep while doing homework.
Harry thought that if Ron knew what he was dreaming about, he'd be even more worried. Harry also knew that if Ron would be troubled, he'd tell Hermione, and if Hermione got troubled, she'd suggest to him to go to Dumbledore, and the last thing Harry wanted to do now was talk to Dumbledore. As much as Harry admired Professor Dumbledore, he also felt exceedingly guilty for the situation that had happened last year due to his lack of practicing Occlumency, and if he had told Dumbledore now about his recent dreams... Well, Harry didn't imagine Dumbledore would be too pleased.
His dreams were just like last year's: always trying to reach out to something - except this time it didn't involve opening doors to reach a final destination unbeknownst to him. It didn't involve searching for something which he knew was important at the time even though he didn't know what it was, for this time he knew what it was. It was a key, they only thing he didn't understand about this dream was about why he needed the key - why he wanted it so badly, why he couldn't reach it - why he always just fell short before he woke up. But, like in his other dreams from last year, he knew it most likely had an important reason involving Voldemort. Every other time he woke up from a dream with his scar prickling - he was, after all, destined with danger with the infamous You-Know-Who. 'So at least,' he thought, 'I know where my dreams are heading.' And something like this is exactly what would worry Ron, and probably even Dumbledore. From this he found that there was only one definite fact in all of this thinking that he knew to be true, he needed that key.
At this point in time, he was so wrapped up in what was the future of his life was going to be, hopefully not what Professor (if that's what you could call her) Trelawney had predicted every year, that he had barely noticed that Hermione's disappearance. Ron however, was very concerned at this point as he so obviously displayed since her disappearance.
"Hermione never misses a lesson," Ron said truthfully, "not one, unless it's something important... what is going on?" he asked fearfully.
Although it had only been a day, Ron had already talked so much of Hermione's absence that, although he himself was concerned, he got sick of hearing about it and decided to finally do something about it.
Harry and Ron had gone around asking people of her whereabouts, but no one knew anything - it was almost as if she had disappeared off the face of the Earth. The only thing that struck them stranger was the fact that people didn't voice much concern about Hermione's disappearance when asked, in fact, they didn't even sound interested - surely, this would've caused a topic to gossip upon.
So after a whole day of inquisition, Harry's level of worry rose to that of Ron's before they had started asking people of Hermione's whereabouts, and Ron's level or worry went through the roof. Harry managed to hear Ron mumbling to himself at random times whilst they were going down the hallways back to the corridors, and as usual, if anything could make the situation worse, it was a chat with Malfoy.
"Still looking for your little mudblood?" Malfoy howled, his two friends who resembled smaller version of trolls echoed his laughter as he continued with what he had to say. "I doubt you'll ever find her, in fact.. I think for once she's done something for her own good and left."
As Malfoy started to leave, seeming satisfied, Ron carried a look containing a mix of bewilderment and anger. Ron had slowly raised his hand from his side, curled it into a fist, and lifted it in preparation to punch Malfoy, but after a moment of thought, he just as slowly put it back at his side, and turned to talk to Harry.
"Harry!" he exclaimed, "I think he knows something... I mean, this may sound odd, but he sounded so sure that she would never come back, as if he knew where she was. Plus, we all know that Hermione would never leave this school. For Merlin's sake, it is Hermione we are talking about!"
"I know," said Harry, actually starting to believe one of Ron's wild accusations - mainly because Malfoy's dad was a Death Eater, (although in Azkaban prison.) "I know," he whispered, now wondering but hoping it didn't, have something to do with the key.
After this long exhausting day, which had only left Harry feeling as if he had gained nothing, he figured that after all of this, the only one who would be able to help him would be Dumbledore, as much as he didn't want to talk to him. Then, after assuring himself once more that visiting Dumbledore was the best possible way to find things out and end this search, Harry walked with Ron back to the Common Room, and then left him there saying he had to go to the Library and quickly pick something up, so Ron would not ask to tag along. As much as Ron would like to know where Hermione was - probably more than Harry - Harry also knew that Ron would not be able to handle whatever Dumbledore would tell them.
