Josh made it home in fifteen minutes. He smiled to himself – happy with the proximity to Donna's new place. He could pop over quickly and easily and it would take off the enormous stress that living together put on both Lynne and Donna. All in all, it would make his life much easier. Now he just needed to convince Lynne of that.
Josh took a deep breath before he entered his house. He knew she'd be pissed and ready to pounce. He hoped that she'd see he did this for her. "Lynne?" he called. "I'm home."
"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded. "Where is everything going? Did she freak out and take the baby back to the land of cheese?"
Josh smiled at the cheese comment and shook his head. "I decided it'd be best for everyone if Donna and Olivia had their own place," Josh said, placing a kiss on her cheek before throwing down his backpack.
"So...that's it? I don't get to participate in the discussion?" she asked following him into the living room and sitting down on the couch.
"There wasn't much of a discussion," Josh laughed joining her. "I decided that everyone would be more comfortable in their own space. End of story. Donna didn't have much of a say on the matter. I told her. I showed her where I thought she should go. She liked it. End of story."
"So you bought her a house?" she asked, her face flushing with anger. "After you bought this place to accommodate her and her kid?"
"Olivia's my child, too," Josh reminded, stroking her hair. "And yes. I bought her a house. With my money," he reminded. "No worries, okay? I can afford it," he assured her.
"I just don't understand," she shook her head.
"I need to see my daughter – to watch her grow up. To do that, I need to make sure that Donna's comfortable and happy," Josh explained. "She's across town in a quaint condo. It's all set up and these guys," he gestured to the movers that were loading up vans out front. "They're just taking over their things. Donna's outta here, baby," he whispered. "I thought you'd be happy."
"I am happy that she's gone," Lynne said. "It's no secret that we weren't best friends. I just feel like you're being taken advantage of here or something," she sighed. "I'm not being stubborn," she insisted when he raised his eyebrows at her a little.
Josh kissed her soundly on the mouth and his hands traveled down her body as she whimpered in delight. "We've got the place to ourselves," he whispered into her ear.
"That has its advantages," she murmured as she arched into his body.
"These guys are almost done...we could..." he whispered.
"Mmmmhmmm," she giggled back.
Then the phone rang. "What?" Lynne growled into the receiver.
"Is Josh there?" Donna asked.
Lynne said nothing. She threw the phone into Josh's chest and got up and went upstairs.
"Hello?" Josh asked.
"Josh?" Donna smiled. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked.
Josh ran a hand over his face and exhaled breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "No," he lied, clearing his throat. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.
"I just realized that I don't remember any phone numbers or anything. I had them all on the refrigerator at your place. You know...my "in case of emergency list" that I bring everywhere? It's not here and what if there's an emergency?" she asked. "I know I could just call 911, but what if it's not that kind of emergency?" she asked, rambling.
"Okay," he smiled at her. "I'll have it sent over," he promised, looking out the window in time to see the last van pull away. "Damnit," he sighed. "I'll run it over myself," he told her. "Is that okay?" he asked.
"Josh," she sighed. "I don't want to put you out," she said.
"Who's put out?" he asked. "What if there's an emergency?" he asked. "You need your list," he insisted with a hint of laugh in his voice.
"Are you making fun of me?" Donna asked.
"No," he shook his head, willing himself not to laugh. "I'm not doing anything that can't wait," he said, glancing to the stairs that Lynne had just run up. "I'll be right over. Do you maybe want some food or something?" he asked. "Since I'm coming out and all."
"I could be persuaded," she smiled faintly, knowing how bad an idea this all was.
"I'll see you soon," he said and hung up before she could come to her senses and protest.
Donna looked at the men fiercely putting things in there place at her new condo. Josh had gone all out this time, she mused. "What are we gonna do, Livvie?" she asked.
"Da," Livvie answered. "Da."
"Oh my god!" Donna squealed. "You said 'da da!'" Donna got up and twirled her daughter around in a circle and hugged her tightly. "Daddy's gonna be so mad he missed it! You better say it for him when he comes tonight," Donna told her daughter.
"Lynne?" he called up the stairs. "I have to run out real quick. I'll be back soon, though," he offered. "Okay?"
"Just go, already," Lynne yelled as she threw a few more pillows across the room. "Just go!"
"Love you," Josh called, hoping to garner a response other than the silence that he received.
So, he grabbed the list, got into his car and phoned Donna's favorite take- out place. He arrived to Donna's place about thirty minutes later.
Josh knocked on the door and waited for Donna to answer it.
"I thought you said you had a key?" she said, as she let him in.
"I do," Josh said, offering the bags of food to her. "It wasn't an emergency," he smiled and his dimples made Donna blush a little, involuntarily.
"Stop it," she insisted. "Come and go as you like. You're paying for it."
"Very true," Josh smiled as he joined her in the dining room. "Here's your list, my dear," he said, handing over the piece of paper.
"You're a lifesaver," she said as she scampered to the kitchen to magnet it to the refrigerator.
"Where's Olivia?" he asked.
"Laying down for the moment," Donna sighed. "Josh, guess what?" she asked. "Guess what she did?"
"What?" Josh asked, digging into the Chinese take-out containers and helping himself to some food. "You don't mind, right?" he asked. "I'm starved and I somehow managed to piss Lynne off so I doubt there'll be dinner waiting for me at the house when I get back."
"Eat," she insisted. "Did I cause the Lynne problem?" she wondered outloud.
"Yes," Josh admitted, but don't feel bad. "It was more my fault," he insisted. "You just called."
"Ah," Donna nodded. "I did interrupt something," she realized.
"Don't worry about it," Josh insisted. "So," he smiled. "What did our wonderfully intelligent daughter do that is so amazing?" he asked.
"She said 'da da,'" Donna gushed. "I was talking about you and she said 'da da,.'"
"Really?" Josh squealed a little like a girl. "She said that?"
"Mmmhmmm," Donna smiled, pleased with how excited Josh was.
"Is it too soon to wake her up?" Josh wondered, standing up.
"Sit," Donna ordered. "She'll be up in a bit. Eat a little first."
"Kay," Josh slinked back down and they ate their take-out quietly.
Their dinner silence was confusing. It was both comfortable and uncomfortable all at the same time. Glances were frequent, as were forced, confused smiles. When they were finished, Donna began to clear the table when they heard Olivia fussing over the monitor.
"I'll go see her," Josh volunteered. "If that's okay," he added.
"Go on up," Donna smiled and continued to put away the leftovers.
---- Olivia's Room ----
"Hi, my beautiful girl," Josh cooed when he went into his daughter's room. "How's Daddy's girl?" he asked.
Olivia smiled and gurgled when he picked her up.
"Mommy forgot something over at my place, so I had to come back over," he explained. "So that's why I'm here at the moment...not that there's any where else I'd like to be," he amended. "You know I want to see you every second of everyday," he told her. "But stuff kinda gets in the way," he explained. "Like I have to go to work sometimes. Daddy works with important people...that's how I met your Mommy. She worked with me too," he smiled remembering Donna hiring herself as his assistant all those years ago.
He sat in the rocker and cuddled Olivia in his arms and rocked slowly.
"But, that was another lifetime ago," he laughed. "It took us forever to straighten ourselves out and then when we thought we were okay, Mommy got worried about Daddy's job and left and then she didn't tell me about you right away," he told her. "I was so mad for a while," he admitted. "But you know your Mom," he laughed. "How long can you really stay mad at her? Right?" he asked and Olivia giggled. "Right," he agreed. "But when I found out about you I was already with Lynne – you know the lady at my house," he told her. "And your Mom still has the same issues that she had before," Josh shook his head. "So bringing you here was the only way I could be in your life," he told her. "I know Mommy was mad in the beginning," Josh continued. "But I know your Mom better than most people and she loves this city," he insisted. "So, give her a little adjustment time and she'll be happy again."
Olivia's eyes began to flutter closed and Josh continued to rock.
"I got you guys this place because Leo," he said. "You met him – he's the old little man that likes to bark orders at me all the time," Josh smiled. "He's my boss and one of the best people I know," he admitted. "Well Leo," Josh sighed. "He said that Mommy still loved me and she didn't like Lynne because of that. Now I have no idea where the man gets his information, because your Mother has not expressed interest in me for some time now. But whatever. Leo said I was hurting your Mommy by keeping her with me at that house. I would never want to do that. Your Mother is very important to me," he admitted. "I'd never want to hurt her...or you for that matter. So that's why you two are here," he explained. "I wanted to see you all the time and not upset Mommy or you or Lynne, for that matter. Lynne thinks I'm still in love with your Mommy," Josh sighed. "Can I tell you a secret?" he asked. "I don't know if she's wrong," he whispered. "That scares the hell out of me. I know I love Lynne," he said. "I know that. But I also have these strong feelings for your mother that I can't really explain," he sighed. "Our relationship is...well...it's complicated," Josh admitted. Josh smiled and looked at his sleeping daughter and shook his head. "I put you to sleep with all my rambling," he laughed softly. "You should see me when I'm drunk! You're Mother says I'm worse, if you could believe it," he smiled as he got up and laid Olivia back in her bed. "Sleep well, sweetie. Daddy loves you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving the room.
----The Living Room ----
Donna held the baby monitor and stared off into space. She'd heard everything. She wanted to not listen, but she couldn't. It was too compelling to put down. She'd heard every word that Josh had admitted to their daughter. Tears began to fall and Donna did not attempt to wipe them off of her face. She just sat, rocking herself on the couch numbly.
Josh made his way into the room. "Donna," he called. "I should really start to get home," he said and then he stopped. He saw Donna. She was sitting on the couch with her knees pulled tightly to her chest, rocking faintly back and forth. Her arms were wrapped around her knee caps and her hands grasped a baby monitor. Tears were slowly moving down her face and she sat in silence. She didn't even move her eyes to focus on Josh at all.
"Donna," he whispered, coming closer. "Tell me you didn't...." he started. "You didn't hear...you know...everything, did you?" he asked, taking the monitor from her grip and laying it on the coffee table that he now sat on facing her.
Donna remained quiet. She released her legs and they traveled to the floor. Her hands came up and pushed her hair out of her face and she sniffed, trying to catch her breath.
Josh's thumbs made their way to Donna's tear stained cheeks and he wiped the tears away. "Shhhh," he said. "What the hell are you crying for?" he asked. "C'mon," he laughed. "I just got one baby quiet," he smiled. "Do I have to shut you up, too?" he asked.
Donna looked at him. He was grinning faintly and his dimples were just beginning to show. She took a deep breath. Josh remained in front of her and she moved herself forward. "Josh," she whispered, looking deeply in his eyes.
Josh's focus got blurry as he tried to concentrate on her eyes or her hair – anything except her lips that were moving closer by the second. He tried to pull away but he was too late. Her mouth was on his and his lips immediately responded to the pressure. Within moments, Donna was joining Josh on the coffee table. She was on her back and he was on top of her. His hands were in her hair and her hands were moving up his shirt and running up and down his back. Neither one of them thought about what they were doing. They didn't allow for the time. They were going on impulse, instinct, and raw desire. Nothing could get them out of their zone.
"Da da," Olivia cooed from the baby monitor that was now on the carpet next to the table. Nothing except that.
Josh and Donna both froze. His mouth was on her chest and her hands were at his belt. Their breaths were labored and erratic. Josh smiled against the skin on her collar bone as he started to move up her body. "She said 'da da," he whispered.
"I told you," Donna said, uncomfortably moving her hands to table.
After a minute, Josh pushed himself up and buttoned his shirt as he sat next to her heaving body. "Damnit!" he said as he slammed his hand on the table.
"Josh," she said, worried.
"No," he said shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have allowed that to happen."
"Josh...I wanted it to happen," she insisted. "You didn't allow anything."
"Yes," Josh said. "I did. I didn't stop you. I let you kiss me," he told her. "That was wrong."
"Was it?" she asked, as her fingers danced over her lips.
"What do you mean with that 'was it' stuff," Josh said, harshly. "Of course it was wrong. I'm getting married to another woman!"
"Well, that's true," Donna sighed. "Why did you say the things you said upstairs?" she asked.
"You weren't supposed to hear them," Josh insisted.
"Does that make them any less true?" she asked, her eyes wide with innocence.
"You're such a child, Donna," Josh shook his head. "Sometimes you trick me. Sometimes you make me forget how much younger than me you really are. But then there are times like this. Times where you just display your inexperience like a badge or something."
"Josh," she said as tears began to fall again. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"I...I can't do this," he said. "It's too hard. It's too confusing," he said shaking his head.
"Can't do what?" she demanded. "Can't talk to me? Can't visit me and your daughter? Or just can't make out with me?"
"Donna....if Olivia hadn't interrupted," he shook his head. "If she hadn't interrupted us...I wouldn't have stopped," he admitted.
"Me either," she said in a low, wavering voice.
"That's not good," he told her.
"Why, exactly?" she asked.
"I can't do this with you again," he told her. "It hurt too much the last time and it's been too long."
"Josh," she whispered, coming closer to him.
He pulled back and looked at her and tried to smile. "What's changed?" he asked. "With my life...what's changed that makes this okay for you?" he asked.
She stared at him. She had nothing to say. He knew he had her.
"You can't think of anything," he smiled. "I still have the same job. The scandal potential looms great. But now...now I have a fiancé. Lynne helped me pick up the pieces after what happened before. She saw how crushed I was and she helped me. She helped me feel again. She helped me get over you," he said, sighing.
"She didn't do a very good job," Donna remarked moving toward the front door and opening it for him to leave.
"Donna," he sighed, looking back at her from her front steps.
"Have a good night, Josh," Donna smiled sadly.
"I'll be over tomorrow...after work," he told her.
"Okay," she whispered, trying to fight back her tears.
"We're going to have to see each other," he told her. "Are you going to be okay with that?"
"Are you?" she countered.
"Good night," he said with a shake of his head and he disappeared into the darkness of the driveway. "Tell Livvie I love her," he called back from the darkness.
Josh took a deep breath before he entered his house. He knew she'd be pissed and ready to pounce. He hoped that she'd see he did this for her. "Lynne?" he called. "I'm home."
"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded. "Where is everything going? Did she freak out and take the baby back to the land of cheese?"
Josh smiled at the cheese comment and shook his head. "I decided it'd be best for everyone if Donna and Olivia had their own place," Josh said, placing a kiss on her cheek before throwing down his backpack.
"So...that's it? I don't get to participate in the discussion?" she asked following him into the living room and sitting down on the couch.
"There wasn't much of a discussion," Josh laughed joining her. "I decided that everyone would be more comfortable in their own space. End of story. Donna didn't have much of a say on the matter. I told her. I showed her where I thought she should go. She liked it. End of story."
"So you bought her a house?" she asked, her face flushing with anger. "After you bought this place to accommodate her and her kid?"
"Olivia's my child, too," Josh reminded, stroking her hair. "And yes. I bought her a house. With my money," he reminded. "No worries, okay? I can afford it," he assured her.
"I just don't understand," she shook her head.
"I need to see my daughter – to watch her grow up. To do that, I need to make sure that Donna's comfortable and happy," Josh explained. "She's across town in a quaint condo. It's all set up and these guys," he gestured to the movers that were loading up vans out front. "They're just taking over their things. Donna's outta here, baby," he whispered. "I thought you'd be happy."
"I am happy that she's gone," Lynne said. "It's no secret that we weren't best friends. I just feel like you're being taken advantage of here or something," she sighed. "I'm not being stubborn," she insisted when he raised his eyebrows at her a little.
Josh kissed her soundly on the mouth and his hands traveled down her body as she whimpered in delight. "We've got the place to ourselves," he whispered into her ear.
"That has its advantages," she murmured as she arched into his body.
"These guys are almost done...we could..." he whispered.
"Mmmmhmmm," she giggled back.
Then the phone rang. "What?" Lynne growled into the receiver.
"Is Josh there?" Donna asked.
Lynne said nothing. She threw the phone into Josh's chest and got up and went upstairs.
"Hello?" Josh asked.
"Josh?" Donna smiled. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked.
Josh ran a hand over his face and exhaled breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "No," he lied, clearing his throat. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.
"I just realized that I don't remember any phone numbers or anything. I had them all on the refrigerator at your place. You know...my "in case of emergency list" that I bring everywhere? It's not here and what if there's an emergency?" she asked. "I know I could just call 911, but what if it's not that kind of emergency?" she asked, rambling.
"Okay," he smiled at her. "I'll have it sent over," he promised, looking out the window in time to see the last van pull away. "Damnit," he sighed. "I'll run it over myself," he told her. "Is that okay?" he asked.
"Josh," she sighed. "I don't want to put you out," she said.
"Who's put out?" he asked. "What if there's an emergency?" he asked. "You need your list," he insisted with a hint of laugh in his voice.
"Are you making fun of me?" Donna asked.
"No," he shook his head, willing himself not to laugh. "I'm not doing anything that can't wait," he said, glancing to the stairs that Lynne had just run up. "I'll be right over. Do you maybe want some food or something?" he asked. "Since I'm coming out and all."
"I could be persuaded," she smiled faintly, knowing how bad an idea this all was.
"I'll see you soon," he said and hung up before she could come to her senses and protest.
Donna looked at the men fiercely putting things in there place at her new condo. Josh had gone all out this time, she mused. "What are we gonna do, Livvie?" she asked.
"Da," Livvie answered. "Da."
"Oh my god!" Donna squealed. "You said 'da da!'" Donna got up and twirled her daughter around in a circle and hugged her tightly. "Daddy's gonna be so mad he missed it! You better say it for him when he comes tonight," Donna told her daughter.
"Lynne?" he called up the stairs. "I have to run out real quick. I'll be back soon, though," he offered. "Okay?"
"Just go, already," Lynne yelled as she threw a few more pillows across the room. "Just go!"
"Love you," Josh called, hoping to garner a response other than the silence that he received.
So, he grabbed the list, got into his car and phoned Donna's favorite take- out place. He arrived to Donna's place about thirty minutes later.
Josh knocked on the door and waited for Donna to answer it.
"I thought you said you had a key?" she said, as she let him in.
"I do," Josh said, offering the bags of food to her. "It wasn't an emergency," he smiled and his dimples made Donna blush a little, involuntarily.
"Stop it," she insisted. "Come and go as you like. You're paying for it."
"Very true," Josh smiled as he joined her in the dining room. "Here's your list, my dear," he said, handing over the piece of paper.
"You're a lifesaver," she said as she scampered to the kitchen to magnet it to the refrigerator.
"Where's Olivia?" he asked.
"Laying down for the moment," Donna sighed. "Josh, guess what?" she asked. "Guess what she did?"
"What?" Josh asked, digging into the Chinese take-out containers and helping himself to some food. "You don't mind, right?" he asked. "I'm starved and I somehow managed to piss Lynne off so I doubt there'll be dinner waiting for me at the house when I get back."
"Eat," she insisted. "Did I cause the Lynne problem?" she wondered outloud.
"Yes," Josh admitted, but don't feel bad. "It was more my fault," he insisted. "You just called."
"Ah," Donna nodded. "I did interrupt something," she realized.
"Don't worry about it," Josh insisted. "So," he smiled. "What did our wonderfully intelligent daughter do that is so amazing?" he asked.
"She said 'da da,'" Donna gushed. "I was talking about you and she said 'da da,.'"
"Really?" Josh squealed a little like a girl. "She said that?"
"Mmmhmmm," Donna smiled, pleased with how excited Josh was.
"Is it too soon to wake her up?" Josh wondered, standing up.
"Sit," Donna ordered. "She'll be up in a bit. Eat a little first."
"Kay," Josh slinked back down and they ate their take-out quietly.
Their dinner silence was confusing. It was both comfortable and uncomfortable all at the same time. Glances were frequent, as were forced, confused smiles. When they were finished, Donna began to clear the table when they heard Olivia fussing over the monitor.
"I'll go see her," Josh volunteered. "If that's okay," he added.
"Go on up," Donna smiled and continued to put away the leftovers.
---- Olivia's Room ----
"Hi, my beautiful girl," Josh cooed when he went into his daughter's room. "How's Daddy's girl?" he asked.
Olivia smiled and gurgled when he picked her up.
"Mommy forgot something over at my place, so I had to come back over," he explained. "So that's why I'm here at the moment...not that there's any where else I'd like to be," he amended. "You know I want to see you every second of everyday," he told her. "But stuff kinda gets in the way," he explained. "Like I have to go to work sometimes. Daddy works with important people...that's how I met your Mommy. She worked with me too," he smiled remembering Donna hiring herself as his assistant all those years ago.
He sat in the rocker and cuddled Olivia in his arms and rocked slowly.
"But, that was another lifetime ago," he laughed. "It took us forever to straighten ourselves out and then when we thought we were okay, Mommy got worried about Daddy's job and left and then she didn't tell me about you right away," he told her. "I was so mad for a while," he admitted. "But you know your Mom," he laughed. "How long can you really stay mad at her? Right?" he asked and Olivia giggled. "Right," he agreed. "But when I found out about you I was already with Lynne – you know the lady at my house," he told her. "And your Mom still has the same issues that she had before," Josh shook his head. "So bringing you here was the only way I could be in your life," he told her. "I know Mommy was mad in the beginning," Josh continued. "But I know your Mom better than most people and she loves this city," he insisted. "So, give her a little adjustment time and she'll be happy again."
Olivia's eyes began to flutter closed and Josh continued to rock.
"I got you guys this place because Leo," he said. "You met him – he's the old little man that likes to bark orders at me all the time," Josh smiled. "He's my boss and one of the best people I know," he admitted. "Well Leo," Josh sighed. "He said that Mommy still loved me and she didn't like Lynne because of that. Now I have no idea where the man gets his information, because your Mother has not expressed interest in me for some time now. But whatever. Leo said I was hurting your Mommy by keeping her with me at that house. I would never want to do that. Your Mother is very important to me," he admitted. "I'd never want to hurt her...or you for that matter. So that's why you two are here," he explained. "I wanted to see you all the time and not upset Mommy or you or Lynne, for that matter. Lynne thinks I'm still in love with your Mommy," Josh sighed. "Can I tell you a secret?" he asked. "I don't know if she's wrong," he whispered. "That scares the hell out of me. I know I love Lynne," he said. "I know that. But I also have these strong feelings for your mother that I can't really explain," he sighed. "Our relationship is...well...it's complicated," Josh admitted. Josh smiled and looked at his sleeping daughter and shook his head. "I put you to sleep with all my rambling," he laughed softly. "You should see me when I'm drunk! You're Mother says I'm worse, if you could believe it," he smiled as he got up and laid Olivia back in her bed. "Sleep well, sweetie. Daddy loves you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving the room.
----The Living Room ----
Donna held the baby monitor and stared off into space. She'd heard everything. She wanted to not listen, but she couldn't. It was too compelling to put down. She'd heard every word that Josh had admitted to their daughter. Tears began to fall and Donna did not attempt to wipe them off of her face. She just sat, rocking herself on the couch numbly.
Josh made his way into the room. "Donna," he called. "I should really start to get home," he said and then he stopped. He saw Donna. She was sitting on the couch with her knees pulled tightly to her chest, rocking faintly back and forth. Her arms were wrapped around her knee caps and her hands grasped a baby monitor. Tears were slowly moving down her face and she sat in silence. She didn't even move her eyes to focus on Josh at all.
"Donna," he whispered, coming closer. "Tell me you didn't...." he started. "You didn't hear...you know...everything, did you?" he asked, taking the monitor from her grip and laying it on the coffee table that he now sat on facing her.
Donna remained quiet. She released her legs and they traveled to the floor. Her hands came up and pushed her hair out of her face and she sniffed, trying to catch her breath.
Josh's thumbs made their way to Donna's tear stained cheeks and he wiped the tears away. "Shhhh," he said. "What the hell are you crying for?" he asked. "C'mon," he laughed. "I just got one baby quiet," he smiled. "Do I have to shut you up, too?" he asked.
Donna looked at him. He was grinning faintly and his dimples were just beginning to show. She took a deep breath. Josh remained in front of her and she moved herself forward. "Josh," she whispered, looking deeply in his eyes.
Josh's focus got blurry as he tried to concentrate on her eyes or her hair – anything except her lips that were moving closer by the second. He tried to pull away but he was too late. Her mouth was on his and his lips immediately responded to the pressure. Within moments, Donna was joining Josh on the coffee table. She was on her back and he was on top of her. His hands were in her hair and her hands were moving up his shirt and running up and down his back. Neither one of them thought about what they were doing. They didn't allow for the time. They were going on impulse, instinct, and raw desire. Nothing could get them out of their zone.
"Da da," Olivia cooed from the baby monitor that was now on the carpet next to the table. Nothing except that.
Josh and Donna both froze. His mouth was on her chest and her hands were at his belt. Their breaths were labored and erratic. Josh smiled against the skin on her collar bone as he started to move up her body. "She said 'da da," he whispered.
"I told you," Donna said, uncomfortably moving her hands to table.
After a minute, Josh pushed himself up and buttoned his shirt as he sat next to her heaving body. "Damnit!" he said as he slammed his hand on the table.
"Josh," she said, worried.
"No," he said shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have allowed that to happen."
"Josh...I wanted it to happen," she insisted. "You didn't allow anything."
"Yes," Josh said. "I did. I didn't stop you. I let you kiss me," he told her. "That was wrong."
"Was it?" she asked, as her fingers danced over her lips.
"What do you mean with that 'was it' stuff," Josh said, harshly. "Of course it was wrong. I'm getting married to another woman!"
"Well, that's true," Donna sighed. "Why did you say the things you said upstairs?" she asked.
"You weren't supposed to hear them," Josh insisted.
"Does that make them any less true?" she asked, her eyes wide with innocence.
"You're such a child, Donna," Josh shook his head. "Sometimes you trick me. Sometimes you make me forget how much younger than me you really are. But then there are times like this. Times where you just display your inexperience like a badge or something."
"Josh," she said as tears began to fall again. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"I...I can't do this," he said. "It's too hard. It's too confusing," he said shaking his head.
"Can't do what?" she demanded. "Can't talk to me? Can't visit me and your daughter? Or just can't make out with me?"
"Donna....if Olivia hadn't interrupted," he shook his head. "If she hadn't interrupted us...I wouldn't have stopped," he admitted.
"Me either," she said in a low, wavering voice.
"That's not good," he told her.
"Why, exactly?" she asked.
"I can't do this with you again," he told her. "It hurt too much the last time and it's been too long."
"Josh," she whispered, coming closer to him.
He pulled back and looked at her and tried to smile. "What's changed?" he asked. "With my life...what's changed that makes this okay for you?" he asked.
She stared at him. She had nothing to say. He knew he had her.
"You can't think of anything," he smiled. "I still have the same job. The scandal potential looms great. But now...now I have a fiancé. Lynne helped me pick up the pieces after what happened before. She saw how crushed I was and she helped me. She helped me feel again. She helped me get over you," he said, sighing.
"She didn't do a very good job," Donna remarked moving toward the front door and opening it for him to leave.
"Donna," he sighed, looking back at her from her front steps.
"Have a good night, Josh," Donna smiled sadly.
"I'll be over tomorrow...after work," he told her.
"Okay," she whispered, trying to fight back her tears.
"We're going to have to see each other," he told her. "Are you going to be okay with that?"
"Are you?" she countered.
"Good night," he said with a shake of his head and he disappeared into the darkness of the driveway. "Tell Livvie I love her," he called back from the darkness.
