---- At Josh's ----

Josh picked at his food and forced a smile at Lynne, who sat quietly across the table from him. Olivia sat on the table in her little chair between them and gurgled to herself. They ate in silence. There was a time when the silence would have been filled with general ramblings about work or the Mets or Olivia or even Donna's latest goof-up. But now, silence was the norm. Josh could barely focus on anything, so silence afforded him the luxury of concentrating on nothing. He didn't know when everything changed. But it had. Somewhere in their relationship, Lynne became the mature one. She became the one dealing with both of their problems and the one who tried to be diplomatic. He became stupid and childish. He was mad at himself so he shut out Donna. He was mad at himself, so he drank too much too often. He was mad at himself so he avoided talking to people who he usually couldn't get enough of. Now...now Lynne was concerned about his relationship with Donna. Before she'd be cheering their spat on from the sidelines. The fact of the matter was that he felt guilty all the time. He felt guilty with Donna because he'd been an active participant in all events in their relationship and he somehow thought it was okay to blame her, more or less. He felt guilty with Lynne because he in fact had been an active participant when kissing Donna and he knew he wouldn't mind doing it again. He felt guilty with Olivia because she reminded him of all his mistakes with Donna and with Lynne. Her innocence ate at him because he wanted to have that. He wanted to be that good again. And then he felt guiltier about feeling that Olivia made him feel guilty. All in all, it was not a good scene.

Lynne ate her salad quietly and smiled at Josh thinly. "When are you taking her back?" Lynne asked.

"After we eat," Josh said. "Donna hates when I take her back too late. It interferes with her schedule or something."

"Donna's or Olivia's?" Lynne asked.

"Does it matter?" Josh asked, exasperated.

"I guess not," Lynne sighed.

"I don't even know what Donna's schedule is anymore," he admitted.

"Did she go back to school?" Lynne asked.

"I have no idea," he told her.

"Weren't you going to help her out with that?" Lynne recalled.

"Lynne," he said, putting his fork down. "I have no idea what she's doing. It's none of my business."

"I just thought....if you were paying for it...you'd know, is all," Lynne said, quietly. "Sorry I asked."

"I get a bill, I pay it. I don't pay attention to the trivial stuff," Josh said. "Just leave it alone."

"Okay," she sighed. "I heard Sam's letting Donna work a little at his DC Congressional Office," she piped up. "How's that going?"

"I don't care," he said, instinctively. Then he digested what she just said. "What?" he asked.

"Donna's working a few hours a week at Sam's office," Lynne repeated. "I thought they would have told you."

"I've been busy," Josh lied. "I'm sure someone told me and I just was too busy to care or something," he sighed. "I should get her back," he said, nodding to Olivia.

"Want company?" she asked hopefully.

"You have Donna," he said.

"No I don't," Lynne sighed. "She's a good person. I just wasn't willing to give her a chance before."

"And you are now?" he asked, with a bit of a smirk.

"Yes," she said.

"I don't need company," he told her.

"Fine," she said. "I'll clean up then." She went over and grabbed Olivia's diaper bag and laid it next to her chair. She kissed Olivia on the cheek and tickled her little round belly. "Bye bye, baby girl," she whispered. "I'll see ya soon!" She smiled at Josh and grabbed their plates from the table. "I'll see you when you get back," she whispered to him and blew him a kiss.

Josh stared after Lynne as she vanished into the kitchen and shook his head. "How did everything get so out of control?" he asked Olivia quietly as he picked her up and took her to his car.

---- At Donna's ----

"So there you go," Donna sighed as she finished explaining the night her and Josh stopped being friends.

"But he was into it," Sam sighed. "The kissing and all? He was into it?"

"No Sam," she laughed. "I attacked him all on my lonesome. I can be very aggressive when I'm determined," she joked.

"So, when Olivia interrupted he freaked out and left?" Will asked, just to clarify.

"Yes," Donna nodded. "And he's avoided me at all costs ever since."

"He's been distant with us, too," Sam agreed.

"I know," Will sighed. "At work, talking to him is like pulling teeth or something."

"I haven't even told him about working with you, Sam," Donna said. "He won't let me get the words out."

"I didn't tell him either. He barely returns my calls," Sam sighed.

"How do we help him?" Will asked.

"Lynne's concerned too," Sam reminded.

"I want to tell her...she should know that Josh and I...that we kissed," Donna sighed. "She should know that that's when his moodiness started to get worse."

"You're sure?" Will asked. "She's just starting to be tolerable. Do we want to rock the boat?"

"She loves Josh," Sam shrugged. "We all do," he said, looking at his friends. "Together we need to figure something out. We need to do something before it's too late. Before he gets so far into himself that he can't get out."

Will and Donna nodded and didn't notice the door opening.

"You work at Sam's office?" Josh yelled from the front door. "When were you going to tell me?" he demanded.

"Excuse me?" Donna said, getting up and crossing the room to take her daughter from Josh. "What the hell are you yelling about?"

"I find out from Lynne that you've been hanging out at Sam's office," he spat. "I don't provide you enough money or something? And who's watching our daughter when you're off doing that?"

"I'm off doing a lot of things," Donna glared at him. "I take Olivia with my to Sam's place three days a week for five hours a day. I work in a back room and I don't bother anyone with her there. And...guess what? I go to school two nights a week. That's right! I leave her with Margaret or Leo or sometimes Carol. I've done it all myself and she's been fine. She's happy."

"I pay for it all," he glared.

"You pay for the school because you said you would," she told him. "And you bought the damn house for us. Do you want me to start paying rent?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. "I'm just saying that you should tell people these things. It's not good that people don't know."

"Everyone knew but you," Donna couldn't resist the jab.

"Whatever," Josh growled. "I just came to bring you the baby. I did that. I'm leaving."

"Josh," she sighed. "Wait for a minute?" she asked.

"What do you want with me?" he asked, oblivious to the other two men in the room. "Just leave me the hell alone already. I need to get on with my life now Donna. I can't do that with you being around all the damn time. I can't deal with that."

"Josh," she said, close to tears. "I'm not around," she told him.

"Stay that way," he said, and left the house.

"We'll go after him," Will said as he and Sam chased Josh down the driveway.

Sam and Will reached Josh's car before he could pull away and they invited themselves in.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"We just want to talk," Sam said.

"Fine," Josh sighed and drove them to one of his favorite discrete nighttime bars.

"We're not thirsty," Will said as they pulled into the parking lot.

"I am," Josh said and got out of the car and stalking into the bar and found his way to his private table in the back.

"Jeez, Josh," Sam tried to joke. "Come here often?" he laughed as the waiter immediately brought over a tall glass of scotch and laid it down in front of Josh.

"What do you guys want? Josh asked Will and Sam, ignoring the question.

They all drank and sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"Wow, Josh," Sam spoke up. "You're tolerance has improved."

"Practice makes perfect," Josh smirked back.

"What's going on with you?" Will asked.

"I work a lot. I'm getting married soon. I have a lovely daughter," Josh answered. "You?"

"You know what he means," Sam glared.

"Nothing," Josh lied.

"Why did you kiss Donna?" Will asked.

"What?" Josh asked. "Who told you that?"

"Donna," Will answered. "Just tonight."

"She's going to tell Lynne," Sam told him. "She's worried about you."

"Who?" Josh asked.

"We all are," Sam amended. "Specifically Donna and Lynne."

"Lynne even called us to see what we could do to help you. She really loves you," Will smiled.

"I know she does," Josh sighed. "That's why I feel so bad about the Donna thing. Cause I love her too. But damnit if I don't want to jump on Donna any chance I get."

"You're a man," Sam laughed. "Donna's hot."

"Donna's my conscience," Josh sighed. "How do I go without that?" he asked. "But Lynne...she's done so much for me. She's a great girl. She's so smart and beautiful and she's been through so much with me. How do I just tell her that I made out with my ex-girlfriend?"

"How do you feel about Lynne?" Will asked.

"She's wonderful. She's patient and kind and she takes care of me. She's fun and more caring than I originally thought. She's great. I couldn't imagine my life without her," Josh smiled.

"And Donna?" Will pressed.

"She's quirky. She's off the wall spontaneous. She's brave and she's innocent. She's everything I'm not and everything I want to be," he smiled faintly. "She's a great mother and a great person and I can't imagine not worrying about her."

"Do you love her?" Sam asked.

"Who?" Josh questioned, signaling for a fourth round of drinks.

"Lynne," Sam said.

"Of course," Josh answered automatically.

"Donna?" Sam asked.

"I've never stopped," Josh sighed and downed his drink. "I don't think I ever will."

"Is that fair to Lynne?" Will asked.

"We're getting married!" Josh said.

"Yes...but you love another woman," Will pointed out.

"So?" Josh asked. "I'm going to stay away from her."

---- At the bar....a few hours and many drinks later ----

"If you could kiss one woman....just one woman before you died...who...who would you pick?" Will asked, banging on the table to prove a point.

"Quick," Sam giggled like a schoolgirl. "Answer him, Josh!"

"Just one?" he asked. "Olivia."

"With tongues Josh! Tongues!" Sam laughed louder.

"Donna, I guess," Josh sighed and drank some more. "Her lips are fuller."

"So's her chest," Will laughed.

"Hey!" Josh started to yell.

"She really does," Sam chimed in. "Her pregnancy really agreed with her!"

"Stop it! That's my...that's my..." Josh tried to say.

"You're what?" Will asked.

"It's the mother of my child," Josh said. "She deserves respect."

"Sorry," Sam said, clearing his throat.

"Yeah," Will said agreeing. "We didn't mean anything by it."

"Yeah," Sam sighed.

"I know," Josh mumbled. "Sometimes...sometimes...I just get so worked up over things...it's crazy, really."

"Yeah," Will and Sam agreed and sighed.

Meanwhile, Michael was at the table next to them. He was trying to get down everything he was hearing. He was taping but it was loud in the bar and waitresses kept interrupting and the men were talking low. But he thought he'd gotten that Donna was somehow the mother of Josh's child. Michael didn't know that Josh had a child so he naturally went to the prospect of Olivia being that child. This tidbit of information would surely catapult him into newspaper glory! He needed to piece together the rest of the information and sort through the logs that he had back at the office. Then, he'd go over it all with Danny. Then he'd accept his Pulitzer.

"I gotta go," Josh slurred, trying to get up from the booth gracefully.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, standing himself and dragging Will with him.

"We need rides," Will said as he stumbled.

"It's arranged," Josh smiled, lopsidedly. "I'm here too often. They know the drill."

The men walked out front and into the waiting cab. Their addresses had already been provided to the driver and he dropped them off at their prospective homes.

Josh stumbled inside and found Lynne waiting for him on the couch with all the lights out.

"You okay?" she asked in the darkness.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I went out with Sam and Will."

"Okay," she said. "Donna said you might be out with them."

"You called Donna?" he asked, walking closer to her voice.

"Only after two hours and you not showing up," Lynne said. "I was worried."

"Did you talk?" he asked, scared that Donna had spilled to Lynne about their night together.

"Not really. She was in the middle of putting Livvie to bed. I didn't want to keep her, Lynne said. "Sit with me," she ordered Josh as he obediently plopped next to her.

"Hi," he said, looking at her through glazed eyes.

"Something's not right," she told him.

"I know," he admitted, hanging his head. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want you sorry," she told him, as she threw her leg across his body and positioned herself facing him on his lap.

His hand instinctively wrapped around her waist and ran up her back. "I've missed you," he admitted.

"I've been right here," she told him, kissing his neck and her hands toyed with the tufts of hair at the back of his neck.

"I haven't," he told her.

"You here now?" she asked.

"For the moment," he told her honestly.

"That works for me," she said and her hands began to unbutton his shirt.

"I want to be with you...now," he told her. "Leave the shirt on."

She did and went to work on his pants and he discarded her clothing and positioned her on top of him. They made love quickly. It was not beautiful or romantic. It was frantic and desperate. He needed a release and she was there. They both knew it. When it was over, she rolled off of him and rested her head on his chest. "I love you," she whispered.

"I know," he told her. "I love you, too."

There was an awkward silence and then he continued, "A while ago I kissed Donna. We both wanted it to happen. We just kissed that's all. I haven't touched her since. It was a mistake. I've been consumed with that for a while now. I just thought that you should know."

"Okay," she said, relieved that he was finally honest with her. "Do you still love her?" she asked.

"Do you want the truth?" he asked.

"Always," she whispered.

"Yes," he told her.

"And me?" she asked.

"Of course I love you!" he told her.

"You don't want to be with Donna?" she asked, quietly.

Instead of answering her, he kissed her on the mouth and laid her back down on the couch. He made love to her like he used to – with such attention to detail. And Lynne knew it was to avoid the feelings he was having. It was only a matter of time before she'd lose him to Donna.