Josh woke up and felt like hell. His life was spiraling out of control and he wasn't sure how to stop it. He was hurting Lynne, he was hurting Donna and he was killing himself. In time, he was sure that he would hurt Olivia too. It was just the way he did things. He looked over at Lynne next to him. She was awake, that much he was sure. She was staring at the wall, trying not to move so he could keep sleeping. She was considerate like that. He wrapped his arms around her body and he felt her jolt with surprise, but then relax in his embrace. "Hey," he whispered.
"It's after seven," she whispered. "I didn't have the heart to wake you earlier," she responded.
"I'm gonna be late for staff," he said matter-of-factly.
"I know," she answered. "You just looked like you could use the sleep. I'm sorry."
He turned her to face him and touched her face. "Stop," he murmured. "Thank you. I'll deal with Leo later on."
"I hate this," she said as he pulled her into a hug.
"What? Am I doing it wrong?" he asked, laughing.
"Not the hugging. The hugging is good. I hate the not knowing. I hate how we are," she tried to explain without crying.
"What don't you know? You know I love you, right? You know that; tell me you know that," he murmured into her shoulder.
"I know that you love me," she said. "What I don't know is when you're going to wake up and realize that you are in love with Donna and not me. I don't know when my last day is going to be with you, Josh. That's what kills me. I know that this is just a holding pattern for you. We're not permanent. You and I...we're simple...or we used to be," she laughed bitterly. "You and Donna are the real thing."
"I love you, Lynne. You're in my heart," he told her.
"And Donna's in your soul," she answered.
"We're not together," he told her.
"Because you're both stubborn jackasses," Lynne told him.
"Lynne," he whined.
"What's going to happen if she starts dating again? What's going to happen when she gives up on you? What's going to happen when she finally says she's done with the games?" Lynne asked.
"I don't care," he said adamantly.
"You're lying to yourself, Josh. And I'm starting to think that you don't even know that anymore," she said with a sad smile as her fingers toyed with the hair by his left temple.
"So...I'm an idiot in love with another woman," Josh deduced. "And what does that make you? You're still with me!"
"I love you, Josh. I'm scared for you. I want you to make good decisions. I want you to make good choices. And I'm a stupid woman because I still care," she said, crying.
"You're not stupid," Josh whispered and pulled her close as his mouth descended upon her own. Their tongues dueled for control and their hands explored each other with care. "I don't care what you said. I don't care. I want to marry you. I want you in my life. I want you in Olivia's life. We're the real thing, Lynne. You and me...we're it," he told her.
"You're crazy," she laughed as she watched his face get excited.
"Let's get married today. Screw winter. Screw politics. Let's get married today," he said in between kisses.
"Josh...what about work?" she asked.
"I love you and I want to end my Donnatella hell now and forever. Marry me," he whispered.
"Okay," she said through tears. "If that's what you want."
"Good," he smiled and dragged her out of bed.
---- Later that Day at the White House ----
"I can't believe Josh didn't show up today," Toby commented as he wandered into CJ's office, closely followed by Will.
"He was pretty hammered when we dropped him off last night," Will sighed. "Maybe he was just sleeping it off."
"Unlikely," CJ decided. "He usually comes in here to torture us with his hangover. And he never purposely misses work."
Just then Leo appeared in the doorway. "Hey," he said. "We have a problem."
"What now?" Toby asked.
"Josh got married. I just heard from Josh's Mom. He got married this afternoon," Leo explained evenly.
"To who?" Will asked, gaining a glare from CJ.
"Lynne," Leo sighed.
"I gotta call Donna," Will said and got up and left the room frantically.
"I don't believe it," Toby sighed as Leo joined him on the couch.
"Why?" CJ asked. "They were engaged anyway."
"I really thought that Josh would get his act together and realize he was still in love with Donna," Leo said, shaking his head.
"Josh and Donna," Toby sighed. "I always thought that they'd find their way back together. I was down on them at first," he admitted. "But they just seemed to fit."
"I'm happy for them. Lynne really loves Josh," CJ said.
"She does," Toby nodded.
"Josh loves her, too," she added.
"Uh huh," Leo agreed.
"He's also in love with Donna," Toby added.
"I know," CJ sighed with defeat. "And Lynne knows too."
"And I know too," Danny said as he let himself into CJ's office.
"What the hell are you doing here?" CJ asked. "Don't I have like staff to protect me?"
"I convinced Carol to let me in," Danny said with a smirk. "I have some information that you might be interested in."
"Spit it out, Danny," Leo growled. "We're kinda in the middle of something here."
"I know that Josh and Donna were sleeping together before she left," Danny said, plainly.
"Okay," CJ sighed. "Talk."
"While she was his subordinate, Donna Moss carried on an affair with Josh Lyman resulting in the birth of their daughter Olivia," Danny said, seriously.
"How do you know this?" Leo asked.
"My assistant Michael overheard it at a bar last evening and actually got most of that on tape," he explained to the gawkers.
"She didn't know she was pregnant while she was working here," Toby said. "They'd broken up by then."
"I don't think that will matter all that much," Danny said.
CNN was on in the background and they all turned to the TV when Josh and Lynne Lyman appeared on the screen with the caption "just married" underneath.
"Well," Danny sighed. "That puts an interesting spin on things."
CJ groaned and Leo stomped out of the room.
Toby smiled numbly at the screen for a moment before inviting Danny out to dinner to "talk."
"We'll see ya later, CJ," Danny said as he and Toby left the room.
---- At Donna's ----
Donna sat quietly and watched the television in horror with Olivia. Her daughter pointed happily to the screen babbling "daddy" and clapping whenever they zoomed in on the happy groom. "Yes, Livvie," Donna said calmly. "Daddy got married today," she said in disbelief. She'd unplugged her phone because it started to ring off the hook once word hit the stations. Tears were stained down her cheeks and her body was trembling slightly. She was trying to keep it together for Olivia's sake, but feared she would fail miserably.
Will made it to her house fairly quickly when he determined she wasn't answering the phone. He let himself in the side door and shook his head when he saw her and Olivia curled up in front of the television watching Josh's wedding updates. He stalked over to the set and flipped it off, earning a giggle from Olivia. "Hi girls," he said, sitting next to them on the couch. "How're we doing?"
"Josh got married to Lynne! Isn't that exciting?" Donna asked with fake enthusiasm.
"Daddy!" Olivia laughed.
"I don't understand why she'd do it," Will said, shaking his head. "She knows he loves you."
"He has a funny way of showing it," Donna said, sniffing back her tears. "Besides," she shrugged. "I can't blame Lynne. She loves him. I really believe that she loves him and she wants him to be happy. Maybe she can make him happy."
"You can make him happy," Will insisted.
"At one time I thought I could," Donna sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. He's married and Lynne's an okay person. She'll be a good influence in Livvie's life and that's that. I need to get over this whole thing, like, now. It's over. We're done."
Just then, someone knocked on her front door. Will went to get it and let Toby and Danny inside.
"Hi," Donna said, smiling at them. "What's up?"
"I know Josh is Olivia's father," Danny said, cutting to the chase.
"What are you going to do with that?" Donna asked, not missing a beat. "Josh doesn't need this right now. Especially since he just got married. The Administration could benefit from the last few months in office being scandal free.
"It's not my story," Danny sighed. "Remember Michael?" he asked.
"Yeah," Donna smiled. "He came to the Diner the other day, right Will?" she asked and he nodded.
"He overheard some stuff that day and then the other night at some bar and he got some stuff on tape that implicates Josh as Olivia's father," Danny explained. "I went over it with him this morning and told him that I didn't want to print it. Even if it was true....I didn't want to print it. Bartlett deserves the last few months of serenity. And you and Josh deserve your privacy," Danny continued. "But Michael wants it out there. And he wants it out there now and under his byline."
"So?" Will asked.
"It's going to run in the next Newsweek," Danny sighed. "He put bids out about it. Everyone knows."
"Are you okay?" Toby asked Donna who was now pacing vigorously back and forth.
"Does Josh know?" she asked.
"No," Danny told her. "He was busy," he offered a sad smile.
"I gotta get out of here. I gotta get Olivia out of here. Now," she sighed. "Before the reporters start swarming. Before the stories start pouring out."
"Now, Donna," Will reasoned. "Let's think about this for a moment."
"Think about what?" she asked. "Josh'll be going on his honeymoon and not available for comment. The White House won't comment. Who's left? They'll come to me. If they can't find me then they get no comment. The story will die. Everything will be okay then," she theorized.
"Where will you go?" Danny asked.
She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a good man for coming here," she told him. "But I am not revealing my travel plans to a reporter...even a great one like you."
"Good luck," Danny smiled at her and stood up.
"Donna," Toby sighed.
"Stop," she demanded and kissed his cheek as well. "Tell Leo and the President I'm truly sorry for all this mess. Tell CJ goodbye for me," she said as she hugged him tightly. "I'll see ya, Toby."
"Take care, kid," he said, his eyes misting up. He turned to Olivia, who was in Will's arms. "Take care of your Mother," he told her. "She's a great lady." Olivia giggled in agreement.
Donna smiled as Toby and Danny let themselves out. Will smiled at Donna and handed Olivia back to her. "Where are you going to go?" he asked.
"I want to go to Hawaii," she said.
"Why Hawaii?" he asked.
"I always whined to Josh that I wanted to go there, so I might as well go," she sighed. "Wisconsin would be obvious. California would be too easy because Sam. Besides," Donna smiled. "Olivia will like the sand and the sun."
"Okay," he smiled. "I'll have you out of here first thing tomorrow."
"I love you, Will," she smiled and hugged him close as Sam opened the door and shook his head when he saw them both crying.
"You're leaving?" Sam asked, already knowing the answer.
"Tomorrow," Donna nodded.
"Where to?" he asked.
"Hawaii," she smiled.
"What about Josh seeing Olivia?" he asked.
"He's welcomed to see her whenever he wants," Donna said. "Nothing's changed."
"Except that you'll be on the complete other side of the country," Sam said with a sigh. "Josh won't be happy."
"That will make three of us," Donna said, picking up Olivia on her hip and stalking upstairs. "We have to pack," she yelled over her shoulder.
---- Two Weeks Later ----
"She's in Hawaii?" Josh asked Sam.
"Yep," Sam nodded while they sat at the Diner for lunch.
"Why wasn't I informed of this?" he demanded.
"You weren't here. You were on your honeymoon," Sam said matter-of-factly.
"You didn't think this was something to interrupt me with?" Josh asked.
"Guess not," Sam shrugged.
"When did the article about the baby hit?" Josh asked, trying to catch up.
"Two days after your wedding," Sam informed him. "With no one around to comment, it was pretty much a dead issue, but I'd still be on the look out for gossip columnists."
"Is she coming back?" Josh asked. "From Hawaii?"
"I have no idea. She had one-way tickets for her and Olivia," Sam explained. "I talked to her last week. She seemed happy there."
"Are you guys setting her up?" Josh asked.
"Leo is, actually," Sam said. "He felt so bad about things...he insisted on getting her everything she needed."
"What about what I need? I'd like to see Olivia, you know," he said.
"You're free to do that whenever you want," Sam explained.
"Does she want to see me?" Josh asked.
"Donna?" Sam questioned.
Josh nodded.
"No," Sam sighed. "She really doesn't."
"I'll leave her be then," Josh sighed. "I'll leave her be."
"Is that what you want?" Sam asked.
"It's what she wants," Josh sighed. "Maybe I should try doing that for a while."
"Okay," Sam shook his head. "Good enough. Now...how's married life treating ya?"
"You know?" Josh shook his head. "It's not having the desired effects."
"Meaning?" Sam asked.
"I love Lynne....as much as ever," Josh said. "I just don't love her like I should, ya know?" he asked. "I know that I don't. I see it when I look in her eyes before we go to sleep. She's looking for something that I don't have to give."
"Is this enough? What you have now?" Sam asked.
"It'll have to be," Josh sighed.
---- October ----
"I'll only be gone a week at the most," Josh told Lynne as she held him in the terminal at the airport.
"Kiss Olivia for me," she told him. "And give Donna my best."
"Kay," he smiled as he boarded his plane bound for Hawaii and Donna and Olivia.
It'd been two months since she'd been gone and he needed to see Olivia. He also wanted to see Donna. He hadn't told anyone that. He arrived at the address that Leo had given him and was surprised to see two cars in the driveway.
He knocked on the door and tried the knob when no one answered. "Hello?" he asked walking inside.
"Who's there?" a voice Josh didn't recognize asked.
"Joshua Lyman," Josh called out. "I'm looking for Donna Moss."
"Josh?" came Donna's voice giggling down the stairs. She was dressed in an inside out tank top and a rumpled skirt. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to see Olivia," he told her. "Am I interrupting something?"
"What?" she asked, confused for a moment. "No," she laughed nervously. "We're done. Ken was just leaving."
"Ken?" he asked as a tall, muscular, blond surfer-type sauntered down the stairs wearing shorts and carrying his t-shirt over his shoulder.
"Ken Jackson," Ken said with a grin, offering his hand to Josh.
"Josh Lyman," Josh smiled and shook his hand. "I'm Olivia's father," he added.
"I know," Ken said. "Donna's told me about you." He turned to Donna, "Babe, give the rugrat a kiss for me," he told her as he kissed soundly. "I'll catch you later. Nice to meet you, Josh."
"That's your boyfriend?" Josh asked, as the man sped away in his jeep.
"Not really," Donna sighed. "We're just sleeping together for the moment. He's not looking for anything too hardcore right now."
"Wonderful," Josh nodded and shook his head.
"How's the wife?" Donna asked.
"She sends her best," Josh replied.
"Great," Donna smiled.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"The story blew over?" Donna asked.
"It's out there, but no one covered it," Josh told her.
"Good. I'm glad I left then," Donna smiled.
"Yeah," Josh nodded. "So where's Olivia?"
"On a play date with one of the neighbors," Donna said.
"She'll be back soon?" he asked.
"A few hours," Donna told him.
Josh smiled and sat on her couch. "So...what's for dinner?" he asked.
Donna cooked for what seemed like an eternity. And while she cooked, Josh watched. He almost gawked. Her hair was sticking to her face and neck with the moisture from the air and the heat from the stove. Her skin was darker than her typical alabaster because of the sun. Her cheeks were flushed with nervousness. Her inside out tank top was falling off one shoulder and she wasn't wearing a bra so he could make out her breast line perfectly with the way the shirt clung to her curves. She was exquisite. He'd been sitting on her sofa for more than an hour and he'd been steadily downing whatever kind of drink she had made. He was feeling pretty good when he heard her yelp from the kitchen.
"What?" he asked, stumbling in to the kitchen and bumping into her by the stove.
"I burned my finger on the pan," she whined, sucking on it to stop the pain.
"Lemme see," he slurred as he lifted her hand in his and glanced at the forming blister. "Let's run it under cold water, first," he said as he turned on the faucet and tugged her hand under the cool stream. After a few minutes he pulled it out and raised it to his mouth to blow on it. "Better?" he asked quietly.
Donna was staring back at him dazed.
He brought her finger up to his mouth closer and kissed it. He allowed his tongue to trail over the wound lightly and Donna closed her eyes and a little gasp escaped her mouth. "How's that feel?" he murmured as his lips vibrated against her pink skin.
Donna's chest heaved as she tried to remain calm. "Hmmm?"
"You're hand," he murmured, staring in her eyes and not at her injured finger.
"It's great," she said breathlessly.
"Good," he smiled a little but didn't release his grip on her.
"Yeah," she sighed and didn't try to pull away. "Josh?"
"Hmm?" he asked as he moved his free hand to her damp hair. He stroked if off her flushed face and smiled. "You look good with some color," he told her.
"Hawaii agrees with me," she told him as she shifted her face into his hand.
"Are you happy?" he asked.
"Are you?" she asked him.
The phone rang and they both took heaving deep breaths. "Save by the bell," Josh murmured as he moved away from Donna to allow her to cross the room and get the phone.
Donna talked quietly on the phone for a few moments and then turned to Josh and sighed. "Olivia and her friend Daniella are having so much fun that Dani's Mom is just going to keep Livvie for the night," she told him.
"Is that wise?" he asked.
"We do it all the time," she assured him.
"So....no Olivia?" he asked for clarification.
"Not tonight," she shook her head. "Can you stick around till tomorrow or something?"
"I wasn't planning on leaving right now," he chuckled. "It's a lengthy flight."
"Kay," she said, crossing the room again.
Josh moved out of her way when she passed and she beginning stirring her dish on the stove and then turned around. "How could you get married and not tell me?" she asked.
"What?" he asked, confused as to how the conversation got to the point it had.
"I saw it on the television. Livvie and I. She kept calling 'daddy' and giggling while I stared and cried. Did you think about that? About how that would affect me?" she asked.
"I'm sorry," Josh said quietly.
"I don't even care," she sighed. "I don't know why I brought it up. Except...how could you do that?"
"Donna," he sighed and crossed room. She was crying and he put his arms around her and stroked her hair. "I never meant to hurt you....I never mean to do things," he rambled. "They just happen and I can't control the outcomes and things happen."
"You're married now," she sighed into his chest.
"I know," he answered.
"That's big," she murmured.
"It confuses a lot of stuff," he admitted.
"Like?" she asked as she barely controlled her voice with him toying with her hair.
"I love Lynne," he told her. "So if I do...why do I want you so badly?" he asked. "It's like I'm two different people when I'm with the both of you. I can't make it right inside my head, so how do I make it right with you?" he wondered.
Donna pulled back and looked at Josh. He was staring at her intently and as soon as he had access, his mouth moved to claim hers.
"It's after seven," she whispered. "I didn't have the heart to wake you earlier," she responded.
"I'm gonna be late for staff," he said matter-of-factly.
"I know," she answered. "You just looked like you could use the sleep. I'm sorry."
He turned her to face him and touched her face. "Stop," he murmured. "Thank you. I'll deal with Leo later on."
"I hate this," she said as he pulled her into a hug.
"What? Am I doing it wrong?" he asked, laughing.
"Not the hugging. The hugging is good. I hate the not knowing. I hate how we are," she tried to explain without crying.
"What don't you know? You know I love you, right? You know that; tell me you know that," he murmured into her shoulder.
"I know that you love me," she said. "What I don't know is when you're going to wake up and realize that you are in love with Donna and not me. I don't know when my last day is going to be with you, Josh. That's what kills me. I know that this is just a holding pattern for you. We're not permanent. You and I...we're simple...or we used to be," she laughed bitterly. "You and Donna are the real thing."
"I love you, Lynne. You're in my heart," he told her.
"And Donna's in your soul," she answered.
"We're not together," he told her.
"Because you're both stubborn jackasses," Lynne told him.
"Lynne," he whined.
"What's going to happen if she starts dating again? What's going to happen when she gives up on you? What's going to happen when she finally says she's done with the games?" Lynne asked.
"I don't care," he said adamantly.
"You're lying to yourself, Josh. And I'm starting to think that you don't even know that anymore," she said with a sad smile as her fingers toyed with the hair by his left temple.
"So...I'm an idiot in love with another woman," Josh deduced. "And what does that make you? You're still with me!"
"I love you, Josh. I'm scared for you. I want you to make good decisions. I want you to make good choices. And I'm a stupid woman because I still care," she said, crying.
"You're not stupid," Josh whispered and pulled her close as his mouth descended upon her own. Their tongues dueled for control and their hands explored each other with care. "I don't care what you said. I don't care. I want to marry you. I want you in my life. I want you in Olivia's life. We're the real thing, Lynne. You and me...we're it," he told her.
"You're crazy," she laughed as she watched his face get excited.
"Let's get married today. Screw winter. Screw politics. Let's get married today," he said in between kisses.
"Josh...what about work?" she asked.
"I love you and I want to end my Donnatella hell now and forever. Marry me," he whispered.
"Okay," she said through tears. "If that's what you want."
"Good," he smiled and dragged her out of bed.
---- Later that Day at the White House ----
"I can't believe Josh didn't show up today," Toby commented as he wandered into CJ's office, closely followed by Will.
"He was pretty hammered when we dropped him off last night," Will sighed. "Maybe he was just sleeping it off."
"Unlikely," CJ decided. "He usually comes in here to torture us with his hangover. And he never purposely misses work."
Just then Leo appeared in the doorway. "Hey," he said. "We have a problem."
"What now?" Toby asked.
"Josh got married. I just heard from Josh's Mom. He got married this afternoon," Leo explained evenly.
"To who?" Will asked, gaining a glare from CJ.
"Lynne," Leo sighed.
"I gotta call Donna," Will said and got up and left the room frantically.
"I don't believe it," Toby sighed as Leo joined him on the couch.
"Why?" CJ asked. "They were engaged anyway."
"I really thought that Josh would get his act together and realize he was still in love with Donna," Leo said, shaking his head.
"Josh and Donna," Toby sighed. "I always thought that they'd find their way back together. I was down on them at first," he admitted. "But they just seemed to fit."
"I'm happy for them. Lynne really loves Josh," CJ said.
"She does," Toby nodded.
"Josh loves her, too," she added.
"Uh huh," Leo agreed.
"He's also in love with Donna," Toby added.
"I know," CJ sighed with defeat. "And Lynne knows too."
"And I know too," Danny said as he let himself into CJ's office.
"What the hell are you doing here?" CJ asked. "Don't I have like staff to protect me?"
"I convinced Carol to let me in," Danny said with a smirk. "I have some information that you might be interested in."
"Spit it out, Danny," Leo growled. "We're kinda in the middle of something here."
"I know that Josh and Donna were sleeping together before she left," Danny said, plainly.
"Okay," CJ sighed. "Talk."
"While she was his subordinate, Donna Moss carried on an affair with Josh Lyman resulting in the birth of their daughter Olivia," Danny said, seriously.
"How do you know this?" Leo asked.
"My assistant Michael overheard it at a bar last evening and actually got most of that on tape," he explained to the gawkers.
"She didn't know she was pregnant while she was working here," Toby said. "They'd broken up by then."
"I don't think that will matter all that much," Danny said.
CNN was on in the background and they all turned to the TV when Josh and Lynne Lyman appeared on the screen with the caption "just married" underneath.
"Well," Danny sighed. "That puts an interesting spin on things."
CJ groaned and Leo stomped out of the room.
Toby smiled numbly at the screen for a moment before inviting Danny out to dinner to "talk."
"We'll see ya later, CJ," Danny said as he and Toby left the room.
---- At Donna's ----
Donna sat quietly and watched the television in horror with Olivia. Her daughter pointed happily to the screen babbling "daddy" and clapping whenever they zoomed in on the happy groom. "Yes, Livvie," Donna said calmly. "Daddy got married today," she said in disbelief. She'd unplugged her phone because it started to ring off the hook once word hit the stations. Tears were stained down her cheeks and her body was trembling slightly. She was trying to keep it together for Olivia's sake, but feared she would fail miserably.
Will made it to her house fairly quickly when he determined she wasn't answering the phone. He let himself in the side door and shook his head when he saw her and Olivia curled up in front of the television watching Josh's wedding updates. He stalked over to the set and flipped it off, earning a giggle from Olivia. "Hi girls," he said, sitting next to them on the couch. "How're we doing?"
"Josh got married to Lynne! Isn't that exciting?" Donna asked with fake enthusiasm.
"Daddy!" Olivia laughed.
"I don't understand why she'd do it," Will said, shaking his head. "She knows he loves you."
"He has a funny way of showing it," Donna said, sniffing back her tears. "Besides," she shrugged. "I can't blame Lynne. She loves him. I really believe that she loves him and she wants him to be happy. Maybe she can make him happy."
"You can make him happy," Will insisted.
"At one time I thought I could," Donna sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't matter now. He's married and Lynne's an okay person. She'll be a good influence in Livvie's life and that's that. I need to get over this whole thing, like, now. It's over. We're done."
Just then, someone knocked on her front door. Will went to get it and let Toby and Danny inside.
"Hi," Donna said, smiling at them. "What's up?"
"I know Josh is Olivia's father," Danny said, cutting to the chase.
"What are you going to do with that?" Donna asked, not missing a beat. "Josh doesn't need this right now. Especially since he just got married. The Administration could benefit from the last few months in office being scandal free.
"It's not my story," Danny sighed. "Remember Michael?" he asked.
"Yeah," Donna smiled. "He came to the Diner the other day, right Will?" she asked and he nodded.
"He overheard some stuff that day and then the other night at some bar and he got some stuff on tape that implicates Josh as Olivia's father," Danny explained. "I went over it with him this morning and told him that I didn't want to print it. Even if it was true....I didn't want to print it. Bartlett deserves the last few months of serenity. And you and Josh deserve your privacy," Danny continued. "But Michael wants it out there. And he wants it out there now and under his byline."
"So?" Will asked.
"It's going to run in the next Newsweek," Danny sighed. "He put bids out about it. Everyone knows."
"Are you okay?" Toby asked Donna who was now pacing vigorously back and forth.
"Does Josh know?" she asked.
"No," Danny told her. "He was busy," he offered a sad smile.
"I gotta get out of here. I gotta get Olivia out of here. Now," she sighed. "Before the reporters start swarming. Before the stories start pouring out."
"Now, Donna," Will reasoned. "Let's think about this for a moment."
"Think about what?" she asked. "Josh'll be going on his honeymoon and not available for comment. The White House won't comment. Who's left? They'll come to me. If they can't find me then they get no comment. The story will die. Everything will be okay then," she theorized.
"Where will you go?" Danny asked.
She giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a good man for coming here," she told him. "But I am not revealing my travel plans to a reporter...even a great one like you."
"Good luck," Danny smiled at her and stood up.
"Donna," Toby sighed.
"Stop," she demanded and kissed his cheek as well. "Tell Leo and the President I'm truly sorry for all this mess. Tell CJ goodbye for me," she said as she hugged him tightly. "I'll see ya, Toby."
"Take care, kid," he said, his eyes misting up. He turned to Olivia, who was in Will's arms. "Take care of your Mother," he told her. "She's a great lady." Olivia giggled in agreement.
Donna smiled as Toby and Danny let themselves out. Will smiled at Donna and handed Olivia back to her. "Where are you going to go?" he asked.
"I want to go to Hawaii," she said.
"Why Hawaii?" he asked.
"I always whined to Josh that I wanted to go there, so I might as well go," she sighed. "Wisconsin would be obvious. California would be too easy because Sam. Besides," Donna smiled. "Olivia will like the sand and the sun."
"Okay," he smiled. "I'll have you out of here first thing tomorrow."
"I love you, Will," she smiled and hugged him close as Sam opened the door and shook his head when he saw them both crying.
"You're leaving?" Sam asked, already knowing the answer.
"Tomorrow," Donna nodded.
"Where to?" he asked.
"Hawaii," she smiled.
"What about Josh seeing Olivia?" he asked.
"He's welcomed to see her whenever he wants," Donna said. "Nothing's changed."
"Except that you'll be on the complete other side of the country," Sam said with a sigh. "Josh won't be happy."
"That will make three of us," Donna said, picking up Olivia on her hip and stalking upstairs. "We have to pack," she yelled over her shoulder.
---- Two Weeks Later ----
"She's in Hawaii?" Josh asked Sam.
"Yep," Sam nodded while they sat at the Diner for lunch.
"Why wasn't I informed of this?" he demanded.
"You weren't here. You were on your honeymoon," Sam said matter-of-factly.
"You didn't think this was something to interrupt me with?" Josh asked.
"Guess not," Sam shrugged.
"When did the article about the baby hit?" Josh asked, trying to catch up.
"Two days after your wedding," Sam informed him. "With no one around to comment, it was pretty much a dead issue, but I'd still be on the look out for gossip columnists."
"Is she coming back?" Josh asked. "From Hawaii?"
"I have no idea. She had one-way tickets for her and Olivia," Sam explained. "I talked to her last week. She seemed happy there."
"Are you guys setting her up?" Josh asked.
"Leo is, actually," Sam said. "He felt so bad about things...he insisted on getting her everything she needed."
"What about what I need? I'd like to see Olivia, you know," he said.
"You're free to do that whenever you want," Sam explained.
"Does she want to see me?" Josh asked.
"Donna?" Sam questioned.
Josh nodded.
"No," Sam sighed. "She really doesn't."
"I'll leave her be then," Josh sighed. "I'll leave her be."
"Is that what you want?" Sam asked.
"It's what she wants," Josh sighed. "Maybe I should try doing that for a while."
"Okay," Sam shook his head. "Good enough. Now...how's married life treating ya?"
"You know?" Josh shook his head. "It's not having the desired effects."
"Meaning?" Sam asked.
"I love Lynne....as much as ever," Josh said. "I just don't love her like I should, ya know?" he asked. "I know that I don't. I see it when I look in her eyes before we go to sleep. She's looking for something that I don't have to give."
"Is this enough? What you have now?" Sam asked.
"It'll have to be," Josh sighed.
---- October ----
"I'll only be gone a week at the most," Josh told Lynne as she held him in the terminal at the airport.
"Kiss Olivia for me," she told him. "And give Donna my best."
"Kay," he smiled as he boarded his plane bound for Hawaii and Donna and Olivia.
It'd been two months since she'd been gone and he needed to see Olivia. He also wanted to see Donna. He hadn't told anyone that. He arrived at the address that Leo had given him and was surprised to see two cars in the driveway.
He knocked on the door and tried the knob when no one answered. "Hello?" he asked walking inside.
"Who's there?" a voice Josh didn't recognize asked.
"Joshua Lyman," Josh called out. "I'm looking for Donna Moss."
"Josh?" came Donna's voice giggling down the stairs. She was dressed in an inside out tank top and a rumpled skirt. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to see Olivia," he told her. "Am I interrupting something?"
"What?" she asked, confused for a moment. "No," she laughed nervously. "We're done. Ken was just leaving."
"Ken?" he asked as a tall, muscular, blond surfer-type sauntered down the stairs wearing shorts and carrying his t-shirt over his shoulder.
"Ken Jackson," Ken said with a grin, offering his hand to Josh.
"Josh Lyman," Josh smiled and shook his hand. "I'm Olivia's father," he added.
"I know," Ken said. "Donna's told me about you." He turned to Donna, "Babe, give the rugrat a kiss for me," he told her as he kissed soundly. "I'll catch you later. Nice to meet you, Josh."
"That's your boyfriend?" Josh asked, as the man sped away in his jeep.
"Not really," Donna sighed. "We're just sleeping together for the moment. He's not looking for anything too hardcore right now."
"Wonderful," Josh nodded and shook his head.
"How's the wife?" Donna asked.
"She sends her best," Josh replied.
"Great," Donna smiled.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"The story blew over?" Donna asked.
"It's out there, but no one covered it," Josh told her.
"Good. I'm glad I left then," Donna smiled.
"Yeah," Josh nodded. "So where's Olivia?"
"On a play date with one of the neighbors," Donna said.
"She'll be back soon?" he asked.
"A few hours," Donna told him.
Josh smiled and sat on her couch. "So...what's for dinner?" he asked.
Donna cooked for what seemed like an eternity. And while she cooked, Josh watched. He almost gawked. Her hair was sticking to her face and neck with the moisture from the air and the heat from the stove. Her skin was darker than her typical alabaster because of the sun. Her cheeks were flushed with nervousness. Her inside out tank top was falling off one shoulder and she wasn't wearing a bra so he could make out her breast line perfectly with the way the shirt clung to her curves. She was exquisite. He'd been sitting on her sofa for more than an hour and he'd been steadily downing whatever kind of drink she had made. He was feeling pretty good when he heard her yelp from the kitchen.
"What?" he asked, stumbling in to the kitchen and bumping into her by the stove.
"I burned my finger on the pan," she whined, sucking on it to stop the pain.
"Lemme see," he slurred as he lifted her hand in his and glanced at the forming blister. "Let's run it under cold water, first," he said as he turned on the faucet and tugged her hand under the cool stream. After a few minutes he pulled it out and raised it to his mouth to blow on it. "Better?" he asked quietly.
Donna was staring back at him dazed.
He brought her finger up to his mouth closer and kissed it. He allowed his tongue to trail over the wound lightly and Donna closed her eyes and a little gasp escaped her mouth. "How's that feel?" he murmured as his lips vibrated against her pink skin.
Donna's chest heaved as she tried to remain calm. "Hmmm?"
"You're hand," he murmured, staring in her eyes and not at her injured finger.
"It's great," she said breathlessly.
"Good," he smiled a little but didn't release his grip on her.
"Yeah," she sighed and didn't try to pull away. "Josh?"
"Hmm?" he asked as he moved his free hand to her damp hair. He stroked if off her flushed face and smiled. "You look good with some color," he told her.
"Hawaii agrees with me," she told him as she shifted her face into his hand.
"Are you happy?" he asked.
"Are you?" she asked him.
The phone rang and they both took heaving deep breaths. "Save by the bell," Josh murmured as he moved away from Donna to allow her to cross the room and get the phone.
Donna talked quietly on the phone for a few moments and then turned to Josh and sighed. "Olivia and her friend Daniella are having so much fun that Dani's Mom is just going to keep Livvie for the night," she told him.
"Is that wise?" he asked.
"We do it all the time," she assured him.
"So....no Olivia?" he asked for clarification.
"Not tonight," she shook her head. "Can you stick around till tomorrow or something?"
"I wasn't planning on leaving right now," he chuckled. "It's a lengthy flight."
"Kay," she said, crossing the room again.
Josh moved out of her way when she passed and she beginning stirring her dish on the stove and then turned around. "How could you get married and not tell me?" she asked.
"What?" he asked, confused as to how the conversation got to the point it had.
"I saw it on the television. Livvie and I. She kept calling 'daddy' and giggling while I stared and cried. Did you think about that? About how that would affect me?" she asked.
"I'm sorry," Josh said quietly.
"I don't even care," she sighed. "I don't know why I brought it up. Except...how could you do that?"
"Donna," he sighed and crossed room. She was crying and he put his arms around her and stroked her hair. "I never meant to hurt you....I never mean to do things," he rambled. "They just happen and I can't control the outcomes and things happen."
"You're married now," she sighed into his chest.
"I know," he answered.
"That's big," she murmured.
"It confuses a lot of stuff," he admitted.
"Like?" she asked as she barely controlled her voice with him toying with her hair.
"I love Lynne," he told her. "So if I do...why do I want you so badly?" he asked. "It's like I'm two different people when I'm with the both of you. I can't make it right inside my head, so how do I make it right with you?" he wondered.
Donna pulled back and looked at Josh. He was staring at her intently and as soon as he had access, his mouth moved to claim hers.
