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Chapter 26

"I...First, I need to apologize to you."

"Please don't." The dragon lord felt cornered. For what? His heart started to hurt. You didn't do anything wrong.

"I'm sure this has been confusing for you too. The difference being that I don't have anyone else to worry about besides you and me. Where as you, you've got three to worry about. I can't even imagine what Raseleane would say if she knew." As Kai-Stern continued, the blond dragon felt that pain in his chest tighten.

Lykouleon swallowed hard, unable to stop the thumping in his breast. What is he trying to say to me? The dragon lord was feeling insecure, with a foreboding possiblity that the object of his affections might reject him. Worry about Roseleane? Acctually, Lykouleon remembered, When I spoke to her about it, she didn't seem to mind the idea, maybe even supported it. But telling you that, won't help you decide if you care about me...like that.

"I'm sorry." the albino spoke sincerely, managing to keep those distant tones. "I've been avoiding you lately, but that's over now. I just needed time to sort things out."

"I know. Please, don't worry about it." The green eyed dragon shook his head, finding it hard to make eye contact. It's enough to know that you weren't avoiding me because you hate me, he thought. It releaved a little of that pressure on his heart...a little.

"No, it wasn't fair to you." the blue dragon officer refused to forgive himself.

"I'm fine." Lykouleon told him. This is like torture, come out and say it! Please...

"Are you?" For a split second those light yellow eyes reflected concern. Of course not! I can't be fine, until I know how you feel about me. I...I allowed us to be apart for this long, because I wanted you to decide. To decide on your own, without obligations of duty...or pity.

"I said I was." The dragon lord adjusted his position, one foot stepping on the blanket that had managed to get stuck partially under the shut door.

"..." Kai-Stern glanced to the side then looked back into beautiful green pools. "I'm ready now, to tell you...what I've decided."

"About the heir?" The blond's heart was wild, threatening to affect his breath. What are you going to tell me? It's just you and me. You can tell me anything. Just...just tell me!

"About everything." the albino admitted. "But first, There's something I have to tell you. Will you listen?" Kai-Stern leaned against the edge of the writing desk. Lykouleon hadn't expected this, but nodded, giving permission to continue. The blue dragon officer drew in a deep breath, probably preparing himself. "It's times like these I wish I had a cigarette." The frosty haired dragon slipped the specticals off is face and put them on the desk next to his hip.

"Do you need to smoke, just to talk to me?" Green eyes waited for light yellow to make contact. "Huh?" The Lord nearly caught his breath when he saw...that look in his eyes. That wasn't there before. That wall was gone but...there's something else now.

"I'm not perfect like you." There was no sarcasm or criticism, Kai-Stern's voice was steady and sincere. The albino's brow knotted, he suddenly looked so...vulnerable. Not just his face, his whole body conveyed that attitude. "You're the leader of an entire kingdom. You're always saught after by your enemies, but you're never afraid, not for yourself anyway. You make decisions every day that can mean the difference between life and death, with a cool head and an sincere heart. And regardless of the out come, you don't have any regrets."

"Kai-Stern..."

"No regrets." The frosty haired dragon, was shaking, lightly. "Well, I have regrets." The Lord couldn't respond; first, because he couldn't think of what to say and second, it was evident his secretary of foreign affairs wasn't finished. "When I...I finally realized, you kissed me...that time, in the infirmary. I felt so happy." He had a bitter sweet smile on his lips. "I wanted to tell you right then and there...what I felt." Kai-Stern. The blond dragon wanted to reach out and hold him forever, but he resisted. He had to listen to his love's whole story.

"But...even though we've known each other all this time...I never once told you...who or What I am. 'I'm a traveler.' I said, 'Nothing more.'" The blue dragon officer let his arms come around himself in a lose hug. "I imagined, what it would be like...If you told me that you loved me. I don't think I could accept it. Not like this. That's why I, have to tell you. I'm not who you think I am." The albino seemed to be struggling, trying to explain.

"I don't understand." Lykouleon was getting more confused by the minute. What did he mean, not who you think I am? The blue dragon officer took a step forward, sucking in a furious breath. His frustration boiled over to anger.

"I was an ungrateful child. I've cursed the gods. I've watched my family die and only thought about myself. I've sold my body. I've killed people, those who were important to me. I started a war that murdered hundreds of innocent people. I renounced my home land and everything that meant anything to me. And now I've..." Those light yellow eyes were full of pain and now...fear. Was he afraid of what his lord would think of him? "Now I've betrayed the kingdom..." he cupped a hand over his mouth to catch his stuttered breath. He couldn't continue, but perhaps he'd said enough.

"Why..." Lykouleon touched his chest, trying to calm down. It can't be...That's not the Kai-Stern I know. It can't be! "Why are you saying this to me?" The dragon lord couldn't breathe let alone think. Betrayed the kingdom? How? Calm down, he scolded his heart. There has to be a reason he's saying these things. "Whatever...happened in the past, can't be changed."

"I'm not the man you think I am!" There was pain and emptiness in that statement that made the Dragon Lord wonder. It's like he want's me to hate him. Is he telling me the truth? Even if he is not...It sounds like he's coming up with the worst side of him he can conjure up. Lykouleon sommoned up his courage.

"You are Kai-Stern!" Green eyes narrowed with determination. Even if...you were a murderer...I don't know how to hate you. "Blue dragon officer and Secretary of Foreign Affairs to my thrown. You are and shall remain an honored member of the dragon clan." The blond dragon's regal air dominated the atmosphere of this small room. "Who ever you were..." The Dragon Lord refused to allow his friend the justification to punish himself for the past, "that's a memory now, don't you see?"

"We are what we do." Kai-Stern wasn't going to lose this battle so easily. "No matter how many titles you place on a name, that person will always be..." he uttered his next words with a subtle powerlessness, "just a man." The albino waited patiently for his lord's reply. He just doesn't get it, the green eyed dragon balled his fists from frustration.

"No matter how flawed," the dragon lord took a step, that one foot still on that blanket.

****

Just outside the door

****

"What's this blanket doing here?" two maids looked at each other baffled.

"Let's take it to the laundry."

"Right." One lady bent down and took hold of the corner. "Hey, it's stuck."

"Let me help." They both took hold of the fabric and gave it a yank.

****

Inside the private library

****

"No matter how...Uh!" The Dragon Lord felt something slip out from under his foot.

Lykouleon's balance was thrown off and a mild disorientation made his arms reach out. Green eyes glanced at the floor that would soon be his resting place, expecting to slam hard. Instead, two arms slipped under his and in an instant, that familiar pale body craddled his decent. A book clattered on the stone floor as they landed. Kai-Stern took the full force of the impact, protecting his lord.

"Urk." The albino winced, wanting to rub the pain away from his rump. Green eyes hid behind blond bangs, as the Dragon Lord let his arms slip around his officer's neck. Why, the dragon lord asked himself, why are you trying so hard to make me hate you? Then you do something like this. "L, Lykouleon." Kai-Stern touched his shoulder, ready to push him away, but he froze upon hearing a soft sob next to his ear.

"What..." The blond felt Kai-Stern stiffen a little as the warm breath of his lord washed over the tiny hairs on the back of his neck. "What could you have done to this kingdom, that's so unforgivable?" Lykouleon listened to his companion's breath, feeling the rise and fall of his chest

"By putting myself before all I swore to serve and protect, the people of Dusis." The blue dragon officer couldn't stop his body from trembling as he embraced his Lord. "Falling in love with my sovereign...is the one crime I will never regret." He held the green eyed beauty so tightly, they could hear each other's hearts whispering to one another.

"So stupid..." The dragon lord mummbled. Much more clearly, to hide his own trembling, he said, "Can I be the character witness at your trial?" Light yellow eyes grew wide with surprise, before closing. The albino relaxed and a greatful smile touched the his lips.

"No way." Kai-Stern released his lord, allowing him to sit up. Light yellow eyes saw the barely visable tears. "They'd throw the book at me." A pale hand stroked those tiny crystals away.

"How about I give you a royal pardon instead?" Lykouleon held Kai-Stern's hand on his cheek.

"I'll consider that." The two dragon's looked at each other for a short moment then they connected again, holding each other with a tenderness both of them could get drunk off of. Indeed, to the green eyed dragon, his companion was completely intoxicating.

The blond ran a hand through frosty locks as he pulled his dear one to him. Kai-Stern's lips were warm, but his body carried a chill that seemed to melt quickly on contact. He probably had been on that parapet since early morning. Lykouleon promised himself, to have Dr. Arvis take a look at his blue dragon officer after a few kisses.

Kai-Stern's scent was sharp like pine with an underlying smoothness of almond. The touch of his skin was always gentle and those muscles that guided every move, were firm and a little forceful. His mouth, that tang that lingered on Lykouleon's tongue. Every sense was enraptured with the frosty haired dragon. The dragon lord reminded himself to take the albino to the infirmary...maybe after a few more kisses.