A/N: I feel the need to make a comment here, but I really can't think of anything to say except the usual 'Thank you for reading and reviewing'. And while I do thank all of you (especially Nunyabidness who admitted to being familiar with the Lord Darcy stories by Richard Garrett), it does seem repetitious to repeat it Chapter after Chapter. So I will thank HLB for reviewing, being my oldest friend at , and I will leave it at that.

On the other hand, I have recently finished reading the book, "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. It is an amusing book on punctuation, but that is not the point. The point is that when I explained that the title was based on the Panda joke, everyone gave me a blank stare. Therefore, I am going to tell you the Panda joke.

A Panda walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a salad. When he finishes eating, he pulls out a gun and fires it into the air. Then he walks out. The Bartender comes over, picks up the plate and starts cleaning the bar as though nothing had happened.

"Wait a minute," a customer shouts. "What was that all about? He fired a gun and then walked out without paying."

"That's a Panda," the bartender explained.

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Wait a minute," the bartender says and fetches the encyclopedia. He shows the customer the listing for pandas.

The customer reads: Panda, native to China, eats shoots and leaves.

PART III: INTERACTION

Chapter Fifteen: The Chamber

Ron looked up at his brothers. "You two are good at figuring things out. Aren't you?"

"What's to figure out?" Fred asked curiously.

Ron looked at the spot where Harry last stood.

"The Chamber of Secrets. I think Hermione figured it out. That's why she was attacked."

"And you want us to be attacked?" George asked.

"NO, I want to make sure that Harry comes back," Ron told them. "They rushed him and his brother out of here because of what happened, and they're only going to bring them back if it's safe." Ron added in a soft voice, "They're my friends."

Fred and George smiled at each other. "We've found every other secret passage and room in this school. We'll do it."

"That's great," Ron said in relief.

"But we won't do it alone." Fred added.

"Safety in numbers," George pointed out.

"So tell us, Ron," Fred said, his grin getting bigger, "every dark and dirty secret that you have about Harry and Hermione."

"Then," George told him, "You're getting hold of that friend of yours from Hufflepuff, Wayne Hopkins. He can spill the dirt on Charlie."

"His name is really Robert," Ron told them.

"We know," George answered. "Lord Robert Lyon James de Somerset, Earl of Cahill. We do pay attention to what people tell us."

The three brothers sat around most of the day, as Ron told them everything from Dobby the elf to Harry hearing voices. They went over what happened at the one and only meeting of the dueling club, how much Ron knew about the spell Charlie/Robert cast on Malfoy, and every other odd bit they could think of. Ron even told them about the Polyjuice potion, and when asked had to tell them to ask Hermione how it was made.

"It takes a month, anyway," Fred pointed out. "We'll do it next year."

"But where?" George asked, and both twins looked at Ron, who began to get red in the face.

"The girls bathroom," he said as his brothers laughed. "On the first floor, near where Filch's cat was found."

"You've been sneaking into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?" The twins laughed even harder.

"I wish I was an orphan," Ron muttered.


Ron walked around for two days trying to figure out what Fred and George were doing but to no avail. Finally they cornered him in the hallway as he was leaving the Great Hall after breakfast.

"We need to talk, little brother, in private."

"You found out something?" Ron asked.

"Learn to whisper, Ronnikins," came the admonishment.

Without waiting for the escort, they slipped away around the corner and down the corridor, into a familiar bathroom.

"Oy, Myrtle," Fred called out. "It's us again."

Myrtle floated out of her stall all smiles and giggles, then saw Ron. "You brought HIM."

Ron frowned. "It's nice to see you, too."

"It's not his fault, Myrtle," George said consolingly. "Our Mum wouldn't let him hang around with us. But we decided to change all that. We'll make him decent soon enough."

Myrtle smiled again. "That will be wonderful." Then she stuck her tongue out at Ron and disappeared into her stall.

"That is one great ghost," Fred remarked cheerfully, and Ron moaned.

"To business," George said. "We've found out who owns Dobby. You have one guess. He's Slytherin, He hates us, and he can't beat either Potter at Quidditch."

"MALFOY?" Ron yelled. "Malfoy sent his house elf to do all those things?"

"Volume, Ron, Please," Fred shook his head. "That's the funny part, assuming Harry was honest about what he told you. House elves are punished if they disobey their masters. And from what you told us, this Dobby fellow keeps hurting himself. Why is that?"

"He's mental," Ron offered.

"Possibly," George said, "But you're not thinking like a house elf."

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. The only thing I can think of is that he's punishing himself for disobeying . . ." Ron paused as his brothers began to grin. "That house elf is trying to help Harry? That's crazy."

"You said he was mental," Fred pointed out. "And it all fits. Malfoy's father is planning something so terrible that his own house elf can't go along with it. Dobby is trying to keep Harry from getting killed."

"Right," Ron agreed, "By only nearly killing him."

"And we know something else," Fred explained. "Lucius Malfoy hasn't told anyone, except his trusted but mental house elf, about what he's doing. Remember what you told us about Draco Malfoy when you mentioned the Heir of Slytherin. If he knew what his father was doing, he would have said something. His ego is too big for him to control."

"Where does that put us?" Ron asked.

"It's simple. We know that Malfoy is using someone in Hogwarts to open the Chamber of Secrets. We can't prove it, but it gives us a starting point."

"And now what?"

George smiled. "You are having lunch with the Hufflepuffs. You get along with Wayne well enough. We need to visit them, ask a few questions but keep it quiet. Find out who in their house would know anything Charlie might have said about his brother."


At lunch, Ron walked over to the Hufflepuff table and asked to sit down. Wayne immediately made room for him, and he said thanks.

"Anytime," Wayne told him. "I saw you by yourself at breakfast. I was tempted to say something then. It must be hard for you."

"Well, you have, um, someone missing as well."

" Call him Charlie until we get the official word." Megan Jones looked up from her food. "A dozen of us, less one, is not as bad as four of you, less three. But it has only been three days. I'm still getting used to it."

"I know what you mean," Wayne said. "Charlie turning out to be from another world, and a Lord to boot. I need two weeks to find out how to talk to him when he comes back."

"If he comes back," Ron said. "He won't come back unless it's safe."

"You're right," Megan said as she understood. "The Ministry arrested Hagrid, so they think it's safe, but if Charlie tells everything to those people he went home with, they'll refuse to let him come back."

"Especially with Dumbledore gone," Wayne added. "I'd wager he made a good impression on them."

"He did," Ron said, then noticed both Megan and Wayne staring at him. "I was there," he added. "Charlie and Harry were busy, and Dumbledore didn't want me to be alone."

"And you heard everything?" Megan pointed out Cedric Diggory. "Ron, Cedric is talking to everyone he can. He thinks if he gets enough pieces of the puzzle he can figure out what's going on. You may want to talk to him."

"Susan and Ernie are helping him out," Wayne told him. "Ernie is Charlie's best mate in our house, and Susan fancies him, but don't tell her you know."


Saturday was an excuse to get together out of doors. Fred Weasley had innocently challenged Cedric Diggory to a three on three game of Quidditch, to make up for not playing the real one. He accepted and showed up with Susan Bones and Ernie MacMillan. They played for an hour then settled down on the stands to talk.

Cedric Diggory stood holding his broom, gauging the Weasley Twins.

"You claim that you are doing the same thing that we are."

"And slightly better," Fred told him. "We know who's behind it."

"We know what we're up against, almost."

"Almost?" George asked.

Cedric smiled. "That's why we wanted to talk to Ron. We need his help to prove it."

"What do you want me to prove?" Ron asked.

"Let me explain, first," Cedric said. "Our first clue was when Harry claimed to hear that voice just before the match. Granger said she remembered something and ran off to the library. That was Susan's contribution. The next clue was Ernie's. He was talking with Charlie about the rumors. Charlie actually thought he might be the Heir of Slytherin."

"That's nonsense," Ron said.

"We know," Cedric agreed, "but that was when Ernie still thought that Harry was the Heir. Something else happened that day, just before Charlie first began to regain his memory. Ernie had reminded Charlie that his brother was a parselmouth, and Charlie said that he 'almost' remembered something. What Charlie almost remembered is what Hermione Granger did remember. Harry hears voices that others don't because . . .

". . . Harry is a parselmouth." George finished. "Fred, you were right.

"And how do I prove that?" Ron asked.

"Did you check the library?" Fred asked.

Cedric nodded. "Madam Pince doesn't remember what book she was looking at."

"But why do you need me?" Ron asked again.

Cedric grinned. "Granger always takes notes. I doubt anyone bothered checking, but I would bet Charlie's remarks about her are worth their weight in gold. She would have written down what she found out."

"That's easy enough to check out," George admitted. "Ron, you can make up an excuse and ask to see Hermione."

Almost everyone looked at Ron, but Ron shook his head furiously. "I can't do that. It wouldn't be proper."

"You can make up a story and get in to see her. I know you can," George pointed out.

"That's not the point," Ron insisted. "She's a girl. I can't go searching through her pockets."

"I can," Susan Bones offered.

"How do I explain you coming along with me?"

Susan smiled, knowing what Ron's reaction would be. "Tell the teachers I'm your girlfriend."

Ron blushed beat red. "I ca - can't do that. No one would believe me."

Susan reached over and grabbed Ron's hand, enjoying his embarrassment. "They will. Everyone has seen you sitting with me at the Hufflepuff table. I've even been asked if we're together."

"So have I," Ron said. "I told them no."

"So did I," Susan said, "but this isn't about you or me."

"Susan is right," Cedric said. "It isn't even about the Potters. We have a chance to save the school. You do know that they're talking about sending everyone home?"

"That's Cedric for you," Ernie MacMillan said. "Loyalty and Duty are his two middle names."

Cedric grinned as though he had won the Quidditch Cup. "You're right Ernie, and you'd better be careful. You're following in my footsteps."

Susan held out her hand. "We have enough time before dinner. Do you want to give it a try?"

Ron took her hand. "I might as well. But don't tell my mum."


Professor Flitwick eyed the two students carefully. "What are a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff doing together inside the school on such a nice day?" He had a good guess. They had been sitting together at meals, and now they were holding hands

"We were thinking about Hermione, Sir," Ron said. "We were hoping we could, you know, talk to her."

Ron was worried, then Susan squeezed his hand to reassure him. Still holding his hand she said to the Professor, "Hermione was the one who introduced us. It's been difficult for us, and now Charlie and Harry are gone . . ."

Professor Flitwick nodded. "I understand. I was young once, myself. But I must warn you to go directly to the infirmary. Let Madam Pomfrey know that you have my permission."

As they walked away, Ron pulled his hand free. "I don't believe you said that. What will people think about us?"

"I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about Charlie."

"I should have guessed," Ron said. "I know you don't really like me. I mean . . ."

Susan laughed. "I know what you mean. I really do like you but . . . Now I'm doing it."

Ron laughed with her, and they relaxed. When they reached the infirmary, she slipped her hand into his, and they smiled in understanding. They were doing this for someone else.

Madam Pomfrey grudgingly let them in, assuring them that Hermione wouldn't hear anything. She let them have two chairs to sit in and warned that she would keep an eye on them. As soon as it was safe, Susan carefully and quietly checked Hermione's clothes but could find nothing. She looked at Ron and shrugged. Ron nodded and, more as a gesture, gave Hermione's stone hand a squeeze.

"I touched something soft."

"What do you mean by soft?"

Ron smiled, "As in a piece of paper."

Clutched tightly in her clenched fist was a folded up parchment. This time Susan watched while Ron carefully wiggled the parchment out of Hermione's hand and thrust it in his pocket. He and Susan left shortly afterward, thanking Madam Pomfrey, and began walking back to the main doors.

"I was thinking about Charlie," Susan said. "I was upset with him when I found out he was leaving."

"I know what you mean," Ron told her. "I felt the same way, but I put on a happy face. I couldn't let him and Harry worry about me."

"I embarrassed him," Susan admitted. "He was always fun to be around. He was different and familiar at the same time."

Ron was curious. "How did you embarrass him?"

"Oh, I, uh, kissed him. In front of everybody."

"That would embarrass me," Ron admitted.

"Remember, I just found out he was going to another world."

Ron smiled. "I think I understand. You wanted to let him know you cared about him. Sometimes words don't help."

Susan smiled. "That was insightful."

Ron smiled in return. "That was the excuse Mum gave me when I was five. She kissed me in front of everyone the first time I did magic."

She reached over and grabbed his hand. "You poor thing. That must have been horrible."

They were still holding hands as they reached Professor Flitwick, and walked outside. As they walked, Ron couldn't help but comment, "You don't need to hold my hand any longer."

Susan looked at him. "You didn't have to say anything. You just had to let go."

Ron smiled, then started to blush, then suddenly became tongue-tied. Just as suddenly he could talk again. "I just wanted to let you know you have a friend if you need one."

Susan nodded. "And right now, I do."


Less than an hour from when they had left, the two were back at the stands. The first question they were asked was "And?"

Ron showed them the parchment he had found. It was the page torn out of a book. "The monster is a Basilisk. The sheet explains everything. The crow of a cock can kill it. That's why all the roosters were killed. Spiders flee from it. And Harry and I watched as the spiders marched out of the school."

"And that's not all," Susan added. "Hermione even noted how it's traveling through the school. It's using the pipes."

"The pieces are falling together," Fred told George.

"And I think I have the next piece," George replied. "Remember what we were told about the last time? Someone was killed."

Cedric Diggory was paying close attention. "Do you know who it was?"

Fred and George nodded. "We have another visit to make."


"Professor McGonagall?"

Minerva looked up from her desk at the visiting Professor Quirrell. "Gabriel? I thought you were staying in Cambridge for the weekend? And why are you being so formal?"

"I apologize, Minerva, but I did promise to bring you the newspaper every day."

McGonagall smiled at the thought. Gabriel Quirrell would come to Hogwarts each day to coordinate the research the Institute was conducting. He would return to (his) Cambridge at the end of the day and purchase a copy of the London Times. He would bring the paper with him and let her read yesterday's news from another world, one where magic was part of everyday life.

"But why do you have such a long face. Is there something in the paper?"

"Not yet," Gabriel told her. "I receive a call from London via the teleson. They were relaying a message from Dover. Minerva, I told you what we, our government, was planning to do with Harry. We arranged for him to attend a Naval training course that would keep him at sea for three days. The idea was that he would leave as Harry Potter and return recognized as Lord Henry de Somerset, the second son of the late Marquis of London."

"I thought everything was going smoothly." Minerva began to worry.

"It was, but . . ." Professor Quirrell took a deep breath and wiped at his eye. "The ship he was on did not return to port yesterday as scheduled. A sighting alert will be issued automatically according to standards as soon as they are twenty four hours late. That should have happened already."

Minerva looked at Gabriel and her hand began to shake. "What do you mean when you say that his ship did not return?"

"I mean exactly that. It is still too early to be sure . . ." Gabriel frowned. "It is too early to say anything. I was ordered to tell you. I know he will be fine."

Minerva nodded. "Thank you for being honest with me." She added with a sureness that she did not feel, "I know that you'll be proven correct."


"The girls bathroom?" Cedric asked as he followed the twins, with Susan and Ron behind him and Ernie at the end.

"It's haunted," Fred told him with a grin and the slipped inside. Once everyone was in, he closed the door, then called out Myrtle's name.

"You're back." She smiled, then frowned. "And you have more people with you?"

"I'm sorry, Myrtle, but we need to ask you a very important question." Fred paused, then said slowly, "How did you die?"

Myrtle seemed surprised, then delighted as she hovered in the middle of the bathroom.

"It was terrible. Olive Hornsby had been teasing me all day about my glasses, and I was crying in one of the stalls. Then I heard a boy come in and I became angry. I was going to tell him he was wrong to be here. I opened the door to the stall to tell him to go away and," she said the last part with pride, "I died."

Fred walked over to the stall, and stood facing the direction that Myrtle would have looked. George followed his gaze to a row of sinks and began examining the wall. Cedric, Susan, Ron and Ernie came over to help. In an act of disgust at not finding anything, Cedric rested his arms on one of the sinks and sighed. Then he cocked an eyebrow. "That's odd. This tap has a serpent engraved on it. The ones in the boys bathroom are always plain."

Susan nodded, "So are the taps in the girls bathrooms. So is this one," she noted of the sink she was standing close to.

"So are the rest of these," Ron pointed out.

All six students looked at each other. They had found the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.

"How do we open it?" Ron asked.

"I think that's obvious," Cedric said. "You tell it to open up. Do you know Parseltongue?"

"We should tell the teachers," Susan suggested. "They can take care of it, and then Charlie can come back."

"Not yet," George said, and Fred nodded. "We don't know who the Heir of Slytherin is."

"That doesn't matter," Cedric pointed out. "Once we get rid of the basilisk, the Heir won't matter."

"But Hagrid does," Fred told him. "If we end this now, Hagrid stays in Azkaban because we can't prove it wasn't him."

"Fred and George are right," Ron said. "If we tell the teachers, and they get rid of the basilisk, we're safe. But if we don't find the Heir of Slytherin those people will make Harry and Charlie stay where they are, because they'll know it isn't safe here."

Cedric rubbed his chin. "I had a thought. If Hagrid were to admit he was the Heir of Slytherin, that he was spurred to action by the revelation that the Boy-Who-Lived had a twin brother of equal power, that might convince everyone that it was safe to let Harry and Charlie come back. Once Harry is back, we have the means of opening the chamber."

"How do we get Hagrid to admit anything?" Ron asked. "He's in Azkaban. We can't just write him a letter and say, 'please tell all these lies about yourself'."

Fred grinned. "We forge a diary, and have the acting Groundskeeper find it when he cleans out Hagrid's hut."

"It won't work," Cedric pointed out. "We all know Dumbledore said to leave his hut alone because Hagrid would be coming back. The Groundskeeper has no reason to go to his hut."

"We'll ask Lupin." George's manner said there was no more need for discussion. He looked at the stall with the closed door and said, "Thank you, Myrtle. We mean that."


On Monday, two distinguished guests from a parallel world were in the Headmistress's office examining the book found by Remus Lupin.

Professor Quirrell and Father Maurice Pannier sat looking at the diary of Rubeus Hagrid. "This man is barely literate," Professor Quirrell remarked, "but it can be deciphered."

Father Maurice nodded. "It appears, Professor McGonagall, that your Minister was accurate in his assessment."

Professor McGonagall nodded. "I still find it hard to believe. I thought I knew Hagrid well enough."

"The damaged mind often acts in this way," Professor Quirrell explained to show the acting Headmistress that she should not blame herself. "It always strikes out at the ones it seems to love the most."

Father Maurice nodded in agreement. "We were worried about the situation. I admit my superiors were debating about honouring our agreement that the boys should return."

"Nonsense," McGonagall told him. "The agreement always was that they should return if conditions permitted. Albus was more than willing to let Harry and," she paused to smiled, "to let My Lords Henry and Robert remain in your world if this matter was not resolved. I should remind you that he was the first one to suggest that they should leave immediately. If he had cause, I think he would have asked you to move the entire school to Cambridge in your world."

Professor Quirrell smiled. "We have done that once before. There is a precedent."

Minerva smiled, then frowned. "Gabriel?"

"I am sorry, Minerva, there is still no news."


Headmistress McGonagall had called a staff meeting at noontime to discuss an important matter. When everyone was assembled, she came directly to the point.

"As all of you know, on Saturday, May 8, our world was turned upside down when visitors from parallel world appeared at the Quidditch pitch. Charles Potter was originally from that world and, because of his close attachment to his brother, Harry, both of them went back to that world with the intention of returning two weeks later. That would have been tomorrow. As of now, they will not be coming back."

"But the diary?" Professor Sprout said. "The danger is over."

"That is not the problem," McGonagall said, as her voice took on a sad tone. "This is the official report from that world. It comes from the Royal Naval Yards at Dover. 'The HRMS Hermes, a naval training vessel has been reported missing at sea. As of this date it is presumed lost.' Harry Potter was on that ship."

No one said a word. The death of a student was always hard to deal with. But Potter had a reputation about him, enhanced by his connection to the other world. He would be missed for many reasons.


The entire student body was waiting that night. Rumors had been circulating all week about the return of the Potter twins, and word had gone out that there was to be a special announcement at dinner.

Ron and Susan were still sitting together at meals. They were still only friends, but they were good friends. And they seemed to have a lot in common. Both were eager to find out about Harry and Charlie, but then they heard the announcement. Ron was dazed, shaking his head. The words, "lost at sea," repeating in his head. Susan was hugging him, both for support and to give support. He looked up and Fred and George were standing there, to help if need be. He looked at them through his tears. "How do I tell Hermione?"


Monday morning. Ron crawled out of bed. He dressed and walked down to the Great Hall. He and Susan ate breakfast as usual. She knew how alone he felt, and tried to tell him.

"You don't have to tell me," Ron said. "You're still putting up with me. That means a lot."

"Life will get better, Ron. Give it time."

"I know it will. And I have plenty of time."


"What do we do?" Cedric asked as they stood in the empty classroom.

Fred shrugged his shoulders and looked to George.

George shrugged his shoulders as well. "They'll be reviving everyone on Saturday. The Heir has to do something before then. We have to figure out how to lay a trap."

Fred smiled. "That's a great idea, George. I knew I could count on you." He turned to Cedric, "I know I can talk Myrtle into acting as a lookout. All we have to do is figure out how to let each other know what's going on."

Cedric laughed. "Can you have her tell me as well?"

"I think I can talk her into it." He turned to Myrtle. "Can I ask another favor?"

Myrtle grinned maliciously. "First, tell me what you're going to do?"

"My friend, Lee Jordan, has a pet Tarantula and, by coincidence, I was thinking of sending Olive Hornsby a belated birthday present."

Myrtle laughed. "Fred, you are the most wonderful boy in the world. Sometimes I wish you were dead."

Fred managed to blush. "Thank you, Myrtle. I mean that."

"Liar," Myrtle said with another laugh. "I will do it. If anyone comes in, I'll tell you at once." She looked at Cedric. "And him."

"Thanks, Myrtle. You are the greatest."

"That's taken care of," Fred commented happily. "Do either of you know how to catch a basilisk?"


"Do you want me to stay with you?" Susan offered.

"I think I can handle it by myself," Ron said, smiling at the thought of having Susan walk him to class.

"At least you remembered how to smile." Susan squeezed his hand one last time and left for her own class.

Ron walked into Transfiguration and took his seat. Suddenly he noticed Neville Longbottom sitting next to him. Neville smiled and said, "With your wand and my talent, we'll make a good team."

Ron snorted. Life would go on.

"Thanks, Neville."

"We're friends."

The class ended finally, with both Ron and Neville failing to turn a stool into a hedgehog, or whatever it was they were supposed to do. But Ron did feel better for it.

Neville walked with him to the next class when they noticed Malfoy, who hadn't said anything specific the entire weekend, but kept telling everyone it was a wonderful day. Their surprise was that Malfoy was cursing under his breath at someone who was not there, pausing only long enough to sneer at Ron before he walked in the opposite direction.

"What was that about?"

Neville shrugged his shoulders. "If Malfoy's that mad it must be something good."

"Ron," Susan was running down the hall, "I just heard. It's wonderful."

"What is?"

"You don't know?"

Ron looked at her wide smile, then nodded to the crowd around them. "They're all Slytherins. They wouldn't tell me anything."

"Then I get to," she said, as Neville and a couple of other Gryffindors listened in. "Harry's ship. It was spotted off the southwest tip of Ireland. It should arrive at port tomorrow." She leaned into Ron and whispered, "Life just got better."