candle in the window

I love you reveiwers!!!! Keep it comin.' Don't be shy;)

Chapter 30

"I don't think this is going to work." Minna sighed again watching another extravagent dress sail out of Raseleane's walk-in closet.

It may as well have been another room, because it was certainly larger than the one this lady in waiting slept in. The silver haired woman picked up a salmon colored dress that was accented with stripes of blue and white. Violet eyes looked at the mirror that expressed her likeness. Holding up the gown to her body she imagined wearing something so...perfect.

She blushed, half-ashamed at herself for even considering wearing one of the dragon queen's dresses, but her magesty insisted on helping this common serving girl to catch the man she hoped to one day call...husband?

"Don't I have a brown one? Yes, I do. I'm sure of it. It made me think of chocolate whenever I'd looked at it." Raseleane called from some where in the expanse of her dress closet. "I felt guilty cravings every time I wore it. Hee hee."

Minna heard the rustling of cloth and some clattering of jeweled gowns against one another. The lady in waiting reached up with one hand and pulled off the length of cloth that held her long silver hair in place. A shower of shimmering silk poured over her shoulders. Those violet eyes took a good long look at her appearence, minus the dragon queen's dress.

"Here it is! This is the one for you!" Raseleane practically danced into the room with a plum purple dress that was speckled with opals in a flowing wave pattern. The golden eyed dragon stopped, noticing the girl was so still in front of that mirror, hiding her expression under those silver bangs. "Minna?"

"I..." she turned her head, "I don't think I can do this."

"Wha...What are you talking about?" Raseleane approched folding the dress in her arms.

"I just don't think..." the girl's jaw tightened, trying to control her emotions. "...he even sees me."

"That's why we have to get his attention." the dark red haired dragon shook the plum dress in her hands to emphasize her point.

"Even if I wear something like this." violet eyes looked at the plum and opal pattern. "It's like, I've got the worst timing in the world."

"What do you mean?" gold eyes studied the young lady intently, at the same time being sympathetic and understanding.

"For one, every time I make him lunch, remember you said to make him lunch?" Minna asked turning to her queen. The red head nodded to keep her talking. "Well, he says he's too busy. I...I even tried just talking to him and he's got something else more important. I'm not saying he shouldn't fulfill his duty, it's just...Well, you'd think he'd have some time sometime, right?" Her violet eyes were filled with turmoil. Raseleane continued to nod. Her lady in waiting was babbling now, but perhaps that's just the kind of outlet she needs right now. "So then I write him a letter thinking maybe he can find time for a letter, you know, but...but I can't seem to do anything but bother him, even last night..." she stopped in mid-sentence and turned away.

"Last night?" Gold eyes watched the girl's hesitant hands come up to hug herself, ultimately she decided not to.

"I...I found out...it was right after...the accident. I'm such an idiot." she shook her head.

"That was bad timing." Raseleane confessed. "But you couldn't have known. Sometimes things just don't work out the way we plan. So we've got to work extra hard to..."

"No." The silver haired dragon straightened her posture and gained a sudden stone cold contol on her heart. "I think it was better when he didn't even know my name. You can't hate some one you don't know." she mummbled the last bit but the dragon queen heard the majority.

"Minna..." Raseleane paused, choosing her next words carefully. "Was he angry with you?" The angle of the mirror reflected Minna's slightly shocked face. She clearly hadn't been prepared for that question.

"N-not really." she brushed a silver lock behind her ear. "He just...I don't know what he's thinking."

"Don't you want to talk to him? Find out?" The dark red haired queen asked, watching the girl turn around.

"I think it's better if I just stay out of his way for a while." she confessed, her violet eyes downward.

"But..."

"Thank you so much for your help." Minna bowed deeply to the dragon queen, before pulling her hair up to bind it once again. "Shall I straighten this up for you?" Minna picked up a few dresses and carried them into the closet. She was working through her pain but at the same time forcing it down deep inside. That...that's not right.

"Thank you." the dark red haired queen opened the door. "I'll leave you to it."

"Of course, your magesty." Minna answered obediently. The golden eyed dragon shut the door behind her and began to walk down the hallway with purpose.

"Something is wrong with Kai-Stern." Raseleane spoke to herself as if she was speaking to Minna. "I'm sure of it. I've got to find out what. For your sake...and mine."

If the blue dragon officer didn't like the silver haired lady in waiting that's fine, he should at least be clear about it. But in all the years Raseleane has known Kai-Stern, he has never acted so poorly. The secretary of foreign affairs didn't have a duty to Minna, but he could not turn his queen away. Raseleane needed answers or she couldn't possibly go through with the ritual to conceive the heir.

****

Kai-Stern's room

****

"Mm." The dragon opened his light yellow eyes. He was in that familiar soft bed. What happened to the library? "Is this...?" The blue dragon officer sat up and glanced around the room. It was definately his. "Did I fall asleep?" he rubbed his forsty locks.

His bed was warm, evidence that he'd been sleeping for several hours. The albino pulled the comforter away and slipped out from his sheets. The floor was cold. It made him think of the past. The capital was frozen in ice and snow that time, when Raseleane was gone. Why was he thinking about that?

When he stood, something seemed to catch deep down in his chest. A pallor hand cupped his mouth as his breath was forced from his body. It was only an instant, but it made his whole body shake, recovering from the terrible cough. It was then that he noticed a strange taste in his mouth. Medicine?

The small end table resting by Kai-Stern's bed had a cup, a bottle of some strange looking, thick fluid and a note. What's this? He picked up the note that read: "You need to take care of yourself. Have a swallow every couple of hours. Doctor's orders. -Lykouleon." That guy. He half looked at the bottle.

"I hate doctors." He replaced the note and went to the window. A light sprinkle of rain had started. 'I like the rain.' Lykouleon's words flashed into the blue dragon officer's mind. "What did he mean by that? Was he talking about...that time?" Just then a knock on the door drew his attention. Who could that be? "Who is it?"

"Excuse me, Kai-Stern." A scruff voice came from just beyond his door. Was that...one of the dragon fighters? What was his name? "Lady Raseleane asks for an audience with you." Audience? Light yellow eyes blinked. That's much to formal for this instance.

"Uh, Of-course." The blue dragon officer suddenly remembered he was in his night clothes. "J-Just a moment!"

"What does she want?" He mummbled to himself.

The albino dragon made his bed quickly and shucked his night clothes, kicking them under the afore mentioned bed. Of course, a queen has free reign over all her subjects, regarding meetings or audience of any kind. But if it was official, she should have called him into the main hall or one of the offices. What could she be wanting from...? The frosty haired dragon paused in mid-dress.

She...Does she know about Lykouleon and I? Come to think of it, Lykouleon didn't seem to see Raseleane as a hindrence to our...can I say relationship? It's not like we've promised anything to one another. I can't worry about that now. But Lykouleon might have spoken to her about it.

Kai-Stern pulled the shirt fully up his right arm and hooked the other sleeve with his left. He slipped glass buttons into the holes of the silken shirt as his mind raced. It's a possibility. Even so...What could she know? Nothing even happened. That's right. It was just a kiss...or three. It was just...He felt a sweat drop, knowing all too well the extent of his crimes. Where are my glasses?

He ran his hands through his white hair a few times and checked the mirror for anything out of place. It's personal, whatever it is. Wait. I told Lykouleon before that I had decided whether to help with the heir or not. He didn't ask then so...had Raseleane come for an answer? I don't know if I'm ready to talk to her about it. Where are my glasses? Oh well, those were the least of his worries right now.

Kai-Stern shook his head. I can't just keep her waiting. The albino dragon straightened his collar and tightened a few laces on the back of his shirt. His dark blue pants needed to be pressed but, she probably wouldn't notice. He took a breath to prepare himself. Still not really sure what she wanted, but there was one sure way to find out.

"Please come in." Light yellow eyes noticed the medicine on the end table. She doesn't need to see that! As the door opened, he dashed over to the table opened the small drawer and scooped the lot of it out of sight.

The dragon fighter opened the door for the red head. He seemed to tell Raseleane something as she came in. That dragon was obviously a guard placed at his door. Typically cautious for Tetheus, especially after what happened. He probably told her to call out if there was a problem. The albino dragon frowned, sure he was right. She thanked him as she came into the cool room. The door closed behind her and Kai-Stern stepped away from the bed casually.

"Good evening." Raseleane greeted him normally. Even that felt uncomfortable, since she'd never been in his room before...to his knowledge.

"Good evening, your majesty." Kai-Stern would try to stay in 'offical buisness mode' just to be safe. There was a chance that she came to his room on official buisness because she knew he hadn't had the best of health these past days.

"How are you feeling?"

"Feeling?" The blue dragon officer blinked. She nodded. "Fine." Everything about this was awkward.

"Oh, really? That's good." She just kept smiling. Kai-Stern nodded.

"Yes, well," he cleared his throat, "But where are my manners? Please sit down. I'm afraid I don't have anything to offer you."

"Oh, no." she waved a hand. "That's alright. Acctually, I just came to talk." her gold eyes weren't telling him anything, but her smile seemed to fade.

"If your looking for someone to confide in. Surely there's someone more appropriate. Maybe you should be talking to Lord Lykouleon."

"I..." she stepped closer suddenly and her hands fidgeted nervously before her stomach. "He doesn't know I'm here." That made Kai-Stern nervous. What were her intentions? Coming here.

"I'm sorry," his light yellow eyes reflected suspicion, "but I can't keep anything from him."

"I'm not asking you to. I..." She looked away for a moment then looked back. "I just realized. I don't know anything about you."

"Are you worried about me?" It was a multi-layered question and depending on her answer, it would tell him how well she understood his meaning.

"I'd just like to know more about you. I want you to feel comfortable talking to Lykouleon and I about anything. There are so many things I don't know. I'm not asking you to tell me everthing, but I don't even know how you and Lykouleon met."

"Once again, something you should be talking to Lykouleon about." The blue dragon officer started walking back toward his bed.

"I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable," Raseleane was being persistant about this, "but it's hard on others when they can't understand just who is standing before them."

The albino stopped. Hard on others? She was most likely refering to herself on that comment. Her majesty had never been so persistant about anyone's past. Why was she so...

No. It makes sense. If she's worried about who she would be bedding with. It would be inconsiderate not to answer at least some of her questions. She's probably just...scared. Not surprising when considering the mysterious circumstances under which she recieved her 'solution.' The blue dragon officer turned back to face her.

"We..." The albino let out a breath. "We first met during a storm. It was acctually raining a lot like this." Kai-Stern pointed to the window with his nose. The trickle had quickly become a downpour.

{memory}

{"Are you alright?" Kai-Stern shouted to the green eyed dragon.

"I got lost in the storm!" He shouted back.

"It's a good thing I saw you." The albino led him through the underbrush of the forest.

"How?" He tailed behind the other. "This forest is so dense and the rain, uh, whoa!" A patch of mud slipped from under his foot.

"Ah!" Kai-Stern whipped around just in time to catch the blond in his arms. A bit of blond peeked out from under the heavy cowl. And a pair of green eyes looked into light yellow for a moment. Unfortunately, some of the same mud slipped from under the albino as well, sending them both to the forest floor.}

"Humph." the blue dragon officer almost laughed at the memory. Even when they first met, when they were alone something like that would happen. Absently, Kai-Stern returned to his former question. When Lykouleon mentioned he liked the rain...

"When Lykouleon first talked to you about...the heir..." Raseleane brought Kai-Stern's thoughts to focus. The blue dragon officer looked into gold pools. "I'm sure it was a surprise."

"Yes." Kai-Stern admitted. "Perhaps your choice...was most surprising."

"Our choice? What do you mean?" The dark red haired queen stepped forward again, making the albino want to back up.

"I mean why me?" the albino put a hand on his chest "I've thought it through a few times and the only reason I can think of is that I look more like Lykouleon than the others." The rain sounded heavier now, as shadows danced from the sheets of rain that poured down the windows.

"Both of us agreed, you were the best choice." She weakly defended her position.

"I see." That had to be the reason, at least, on her side. Lykouleon. I've already made my decision, I just want to know...why me? He turned and walked to the end of his bed. All this was giving him a head ache. Came to talk? What was she thinking? Even if he wanted to be frank, she's the queen.

"Kai-Stern," Raseleane came around him, to face him. She was between the blue dragon officer and his bed, but yellow eyes looked away. "Please understand that no matter what, we are still you're friends. We love you and want you to be happy. We won't force you to do anything...So...please..."

"You can't be serious." His voice was a harsh whisper.

"What?" gold eyes looked confused.

"How can you ask someone to bare the weight of two hearts and an entire kingdom and make it sound like you're baking cookies?" Light yellow eyes glared at her.

"That's not what I..." Raseleane replied weakly on this point as well. This was making Kai-Stern irritated. Shes not being truthful. Nothing's that clean. What does she really want from me?

"I can appreciate wanting to have your husband's child. And I can understand that Lykouleon would do anything to make your dream come true." Kai-Stern's hands reached out, holding her arms fast. How could you? The albino's heart pounded in his chest. She's just like any other woman after all...after all Lykouleon has done for her. "He'd even let another man touch you as long as it's for that purpose."

"Kai-Stern..." she looked vulnerable, perhaps afraid. She chose because I looked like him, so if something goes wrong then...

"Forgive me, if I'm skeptical. You left the castle that day to meet some old woman no one has ever seen and you return with the solution to one of the most complex curses of our time. It's just too convenient."

"I...ah." she gasped as he pushed her down on his bed. Gold eyes watched the frosty haired dragon who now stradled her. How could you do that to him? How could you even think of another man?

"Do you want his baby that much? You'd do anything? Or...are you curious too?" he allowed his length to rest over her. "Do you want to know what it's like to have another man inside you?" he whispered in her ear as he released one arm to take hold of he delicate bodice. Raseleane used that free arm to try and push his shoulder in an attempt to push him off of her, but she wasn't nearly strong enough.

The stiches of her dress pulled free as the fabric ripped away, exposing her milky chest. The golden eyed dragon turned her head, messing her perfect red hair. Dispite his anger, he was careful not to expose her breasts. He was trying to make a point, not rape her. The blue dragon officer grabbed her forearm and pressed it back down against the bed.

"You're hurting me." She was trembling under Kai-Stern's grip. Both hands pressed her further into the soft blankets.

"Admit it," Kai-Stern leaned down over her. His lips hovered over her neck, "You're curious. Lykouleon was your first and not sure you want him to be the last." The red head's breath quickened as she felt his warm tongue trail up to her jawline. "That's why you're not calling for help right now, isn't it? Even though they're right outside." Light yellow eyes studied her as golden eyes grew wide just before they closed, and the dragon queen relaxed.

That's what I thought. The blue dragon officer wanted so badly to make her regret ever thinking about cheating on Lykouleon. Maybe I should take her. He slid his leg against Raseleane's feeling a tightness in his pants. Yes. He'd satisfy two desires at once, what could be more perfect.

Satisfy is lust on the single most beautiful woman in the kingdom and also, Lykouleon would know what she really is...Lykouleon. The thought of his lord was like a splash of cold water on his face. I can't do this. To hurt him like that...Light yellow eyes grew wide as he pulled himself up. I couldn't possibly...The blue dragon officer's hands instantly let go, realizing just how hard he had been squeezing.

"I'm sorry," Raseleane looked at him with a bitter smile, "you think that."

"What?" Kai-Stern lifted his weight to his hands and knees, pressing into the dress all around her.

"I love Lykouleon too much to hurt him like that and I think you wouldn't hurt him either." her golden pools were filled with tenderness and...forgiveness.

"Lady Raseleane." Kai-Stern closed his eyes. He felt so guilty. Such and idiot for thinking that she could be anything but loving and respectful to Lykouleon! How could there be any room in Lykouleon's heart for any other lover?

"I don't know everything about you." the dragon queen spoke softly to him as a soft, warm and delicate hand touched his cheek. The albino opened his eyes but refused to allow his whirl wind of emotions bleed through to his expression. "But I do know that you are a good person. That's why, no matter what...I trust you. I trust you with my life, my body," her hand drifted from his cheek down to her middle, "and the baby we will each be a part of." A tear touched Raseleane's cheek, but it wasn't her's.

"Uh." Kai-Stern whipped off of her in a flash and sat on the side of the bed.

"Kai-Stern." the red head sat up, trying to hold her dress together.

"Please leave." the albino told her, not allowing her to see his face.

"I'm sorry." Raseleane's voice was so confused but mostly guilty. Why did she have to say that? She didn't do anything wrong. I did!

"Please go." The albino tightened his jaw and both fists angry not with her, not anymore, but with himself. What am I doing? What's happening to me?

"Kai-Stern."

"Please..." The blue dragon officer covered his mouth with one hand. I never would have done something like this before...I came back from Luwa and not only my memories were taken, but my self control as well.

"I'm sorry." He heard her gasp a tear fill sob before she ran out of the room from a well known, but deemed 'secret' door and quietly shut it behind her. Light yellow eyes noticed she'd taken a throw from he arm chair. She was probably trying to conceal the events that transpired here, just now.

This was conceivably the first time Kai-Stern had ever felt so stupidly guilty in his whole life. That kind of feeling you get when you try to kick a diseased rat ready to bite you, only to miss and send a week old puppy sailing through the air.

The albino stood and walked to the windowed door that led to the balcony just outside. A flick of the wrist and the glass paines were opened to the elements. The rain wasn't as heavy as it was before, but it felt good on the skin. He stood there, in the calm rain wanting to drown in it. The blue dragon officer wrapped his arms around himself, hoping the rain would wash away his sins.