I just started writing in notepad and I came up with this story. I hope you like it. Right now I don't exactly know where I'm going, but I liked this idea so far so I posted it. If you review I greatly appreciate it, gives me motivation to post and well.. just generally makes me happy lol

And on with the story.

----SOUR----

"No, I do not wish to purchase the 6 second abs machine that will have my midsection toned and ripped in under 5 minutes a day without any other exercise or movement of any kind. And no, I think I might just pass on the Batter Pro, I find no reason for me to have to fill, shake and flip to have millions of chicken wings battered in under ten seconds."

Channel flipped.

"You know Bob, I think I might just be able to survive without owning the Magic Bullet Blender, the only blender that minces garlic, chops onion and grates cheese in just seconds. I don't need to make smoothies in 10 seconds, and I certainly don't need to make salsa in 3 seconds."

Flip.

"Now if I don't need to Magic Bullet 'miracle' Blender, I certainly don't need the Simply Shapers Bra, the amazing backless, strapless bra that will give me comfort and security in my day to day activities. Oh, well now you just about changed my mind, it will support my natural shape and help me create the shape I have always wanted!-"

Flip.

"I also do not need the Laser White System. My smile is already white and to die for."

Flip. A puff off the cigarette, the exhaled smoke drifting slowly up to the ceiling, more dominantly grey colored with all the lights off and the only light flashing throughout the room being the television.

"You know - very excited man - even if I owned a house, I would not need your Glass Wizard, the extra large cleaning head that cleans hard to reach window areas, tight areas, and large surfaces. I don't give a rats ass if the micro fiber bonnets clean better than ordinary cloths using water alone."

Flip. The beer bottle is raised as the foamy liquid slides down his throat. It's not even cold anymore. It tastes bitter. That's good, just like him.

"Oh look, the Golden Girls are still alive. What a beautiful moment. To see four senior citizens still on television at," a quick check to his watch, "four in the morning. I wonder who else is watching this joyous sitcom at this time of night. I wonder who is as LAME AS ME!" He yelled and splashed beer onto the carpet.

Back to the tv and an angry Flip.

"Ha, Threes Company, I can hardly believe it. Hey Jack, SLEEP WITH THEM ALREADY!"

Flip. Puff on the cigarette.

"Alf. What are you? An alien, a dog, or what? Oh come on, I can see your hand, get rid of the stupid furry Alf puppet already."

He scoffed and shut off the television.

Darkness, except for the little red cherry on the end of his cigarette that would light up his drunken face with every slow and seductive drag. Once the cigarette got down to the filter, he pulled it away and looked at it. Another cancer stick down. He took the filter and smashed it down into his open palm, twisting it as the hot ash grinded into his skin. The pain radiated up his arm to his skull, but it was satisfaction. Now he felt about as bad on the outside as he did in the inside. Bitter.

He grabbed his beer bottle in a drunken grasp and swung it up to his lips, tasting the alcohol with his tongue. He swigged the bottle almost vertical and the rest of the drink splashed down his throat making him drunker than drunk. Then the bottle hit the floor with a thud and rolled against the wall joining the bunch of others. A trail of leftover alcohol followed the bottle and the apartment reeked of it.

"I drink alone, yeah.." He stood up wearily from the recliner and stumbled, singing out George Thorogood's hit.

"With nobody else."

He took a step towards the couch.

"I drink alone, yeah.. with nobody else." He walked closer towards the door of the apartment in the darkness, expertly not smashing into anything.. yet.

"You know when I drink alone I prefer to be by myself."

He grabbed his jacket that had been thrown on the kitchen floor and put it on slowly, getting the arms wrong at first.

"Every mornin' just before breakfast.. I don't want no coffee or tea.." he continued to sing, though it sounded more like a drunken grunt. "Just me and and good buddy Wiser, that's all I ever need.. Cause I drink alone, yeah!"

Chandler threw open the apartment door and did a drunken dance as he shut it and went on his way.

--

The streets were just as dark as the apartment had been. He could have chosen to walk down the NY strip that was still busy with yellow cabs full of other drunken people, but wanted and needed the darkness that the back roads could provide.

He kept a cigarette dangling from his mouth and his hands stuck in his long coat pockets as he stumbled down the street, the occasional street light dancing and doubling before his eyes. He wasn't just drunk, he was totally shitfaced and loving it.

He stumbled over a chunk of plywood but quickly regained his footing, though his hands had flew out of his pockets.

"Hey punk."

Chandler stopped walking and swung around, cigarette almost falling from his lips.

"Hey look it's a pretty boy out for a late night stroll. Looks like an expensive watch there, fag."

Three tough looking pansy boys stood behind him.

Chandler looked down at his watch. Sure it was okay, but it wasn't packed with diamonds or anything.

"Yeah, what's your fucking point?" He took the cigarette from his mouth, and ashed it on the ground, almost teetering over again from the double vision.

(Maybe there wasn't three guys in front of him, but only one and half?)

"Give it here." One of the guys started walked towards him.

Chandler laughed and threw the cigarette off to the side somewhere.

"You wanna go? Come on," Chandler challenged. He knew he would get his ass beat to the ground. Especially in his condition. He didn't give a rats ass what happened to him. He 'drank alone'.

"Oh so he wants to play hardball eh?" Guy #1 laughed to one of his buddies and then pounded his fist into his hand and looked back at the obviously wasted man in the trench coat in front of him. "Your wish is my command."

And they advanced.

--