"Everybody Hurts"

Rowan Arkenson

Summary: Everybody hurts – especially when you're in love with a girl who won't even look at you. But James will soon realise that he's not the only one with problems...

Disclaimers: I don't own the characters or the setting. JK Rowling does, and I guess she owns the general plot, but the story, lucky me, is mine. And the bold in three sections comes from an Avril Lavigne song called "Take Me Away".

A/N: Not going to reply to reviews from now on because, well, I'm lazy. But if there's anything you want me to answer to, say so in your review and I will. Also, you may have noticed the chapters getting shorter. This isn't just necessarily because I'm lazy and shit, but because I like short chapters when they're necessary, and I didn't really want to put the next bit into this chapter. Maybe the next chapter will be longer, but now that my computer's fixed, I'll try and start the next one as soon as I can. –rowanx

Chapter Eight – To cry for love

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Setting off down the corridor by the hospital wing was easy. He just put one foot in front of the other, and walked; simple. He was just returning to his own common room. Perfectly normal: easy.

Crying to and for himself. It felt like a hurt that had lasted for eternities. It felt alone, it felt scary, and he felt completely lost. How had he let this happen?

He reached the portrait and said the password clearly and confidently. He could feel the heat of a thousand suns shining down on him, and grinned stupidly, feeling drunk. He was going to tell Lily Evans that he loved her. Finally. It would all be over.

Rocking back and forth, the only thing he knew to do when nothing else came to him, he was in the cold, and shivering, but he didn't notice. He squeezed his eyes shut, thinking it would stop the pain, or at least the tears – but even more came pouring out, screaming about his broken heart.

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All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you

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Walking into the common room, James immediately set his eyes towards his friends. Remus and Peter were stood close together, talking with worried expressions. James would tell them later that Priscilla was ok. First he had to find Lily. He could see a crowd gathered over by the fireplace.

James could recall the scent of November coming close to him as he'd stood in Gryffindor common room. He could remember the quiet yelling, the tears in her eyes that made him feel weak with guilt. He could remember trying to comfort her, apologising for kissing her back when he shouldn't have. Shivering in the dark, he could remember seeing Lily across the room.

"I love you James," November said despairingly, as she followed James' gaze across the room. "She doesn't! When are you going to realise this and move on?! Everyone knows she likes that other idiot now anyway. But fine, if you want to be in pain and love someone who's never ever going to love you back, just carry on pretending I don't exist!"

November stalked off up to her dormitory, and James furrowed his eyebrows. Other idiot?

He looked across the common room again and saw the crowd. He saw Remus and Peter walking quickly towards him. He saw Lily emerge from the crowd. He saw Sirius do the same. He saw Sirius kiss Lily on the lips and hold her hand. He saw Lily grin.

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Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head

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Sitting out in the cold, James leaned back against a tree. The tears had stopped. None had come for a while now. Not since the moon had risen. Clear and bright.

James felt stupid. She was only a girl. There were worse things. She wasn't his to cry over.

But he knew she was his to die for. And Sirius had taken that from him…

Why?

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I can't handle this confusion

I'm unable; come and take me away
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