Chapter 2: Barbecutie

(A/N: Dedicated to my overly class-conscious late grandparents, who insisted on wearing gloves, coats, hats and other nonsense in the middle of summer. Stylish.)

It was a sunny afternoon, and Severus Snape was attending an exclusive (that meant only him and Lucius) barbecue hosted by Lucius Malfoy. Of course they were sitting under a large, tasteful black umbrella, and sipped drinks while they watched Spazzy repeatedly burn himself as he attempted to roast what looked like the remains of Richard and part of Diarmuid Gavin on a huge, evil-looking barbecue on the porch at the back of Malfoy Manor. Nonetheless, it was very stiflingly hot for two people who never went outside, and insisted on account of decency on wearing their normal robes, cloaks and other apparel, including gloves. To create some extra shade for the sensitive skin on his forehead, Snape pulled out a hat and put it on. It was the only hat he had, and he only wore it in cases of absolute emergency. At least, that's what he told himself when he did not want to admit that he was rather extremely fond of it. Lucius, on the other hand, burst into very quiet giggles the moment he saw it. He stopped when Snape turned to look at him, and then started again.

"What??" asked Snape.

"Nothing." Said Lucius, and snorted with laughter.

"WHAT??" said Snape, annoyed.

"Are you Australian as well as Scottish?" asked Lucius.

"No, of course not!" snarled Snape. "Stop being so ridiculous."

"Then why are you wearing a hat with corks on strings dangling from the rim?"