Chapter 5: A Dreaded Sunny Day, So Lucius Malfoy And Severus Snape Meet Where They're Happy And See Eachother At The Cemetery Gates

(A/N: Even though Snape's not actually in there. But JK Rowling will know what the title refers to, harhar.)

It was a sunny day, and Spazzy opened the door for Lucius Malfoy so he could go outside. Lucius took one step, and then fell to the ground, screaming dramatically. "AAAAARGH! My eyes! It burns!" he cried, before crawling back into his house.

It was a rainy day, and Spazzy opened the door for Lucius Malfoy so he could take a walk. Lucius took one step, and fell to the ground, screaming loudly. "AAAAAARGH! It melts me!" he cried, and had Spazzy carry him back inside so he wouldn't get mud on his robes.

It was a windy day, and Spazzy opened the door for Lucius Malfoy, so he could get some nice fresh air. Lucius took one step outside, and fell to the ground, shrieking frantically. "AAAARGH! The wind! My hair!" he said, and shuffled back inside.

It was a frosty day, and Spazzy opened the door so Lucius Malfoy could enjoy the beautiful, beautiful cold. Lucius took one step, then fell to the ground, clattering his teeth frozenly. "AA-AA-AA-Aagh!" he stammered. "I-i- 'm f-f-freezing!" and jerkingly crawled back into his house.

It was a day on which the author could no longer think of any other meteorological conditions, and Spazzy opened the door, so Lucius Malfoy could go outside. "Ah, what a lovely day for evil," he sighed, drawing a big breath, and stepping outside with sprightly pace.